Take the Fight out of the Kid
by Elizabeth Anne19
Summary: I knew our options were limited, that I should have done something else to save us from where we were. But I was Eleven then and didn't know what I do now, I'm sorry that I fell in Love, I'm sorry that I ruined his life, but aren't I allowed to fix it now
1. Prologue

**Take the Fight Out of the Kid**

**Prologue**

Canada used to be the place, immigration wasn't easy, but once you got here it was great, we had fairly good job opportunities. We were multicultural, and we had many, many religions under our belts. Unfortunately, it wasn't a utopia, and darkness was brewing and festering under the shinny surface. Apparently Canada was one of the largest drug producers in the world, we had the highest rate of 'suicides' that were found out to be 'homicides' and finally we had molesters just like everywhere else.

The government implored a crack-down situation, passing so many harsh laws against some of the things we'd always been allowed- like drinking at the age of nineteen instead of twenty-one, or driving at sixteen. We were no longer allowed to do anything until the government had gone through a hundred checks first, well you might have figured it out but as soon as the government does that it goes from being democratic to dictatorship. And I'll assure you, Canadians noticed.

It took less then a year for a full out revolution to take place and less then five for all forms of government to be destroyed and wiped out. The United States tried to help of course, Canada was an ally, but what could happen but the citizens of the United States and the rest of the world join in the fun and get rid of their governments too? There is no more queen of England, the princes and princess are gone, prime ministers and presidents, anyone who had a tie to government was offered life if they stepped down, but all the actual country leaders were killed- or went underground and were never heard from again.

So here I am; one hundred years from when it all started in the year 2020, it's now 2120 and life fucking sucks. I live in British Columbia- yeah, provinces and states kept their names, don't ask me why or how.

Unfortunately our society has deteriorated without government- our technology is still great though so don't worry about that- no flying cars yet, I'm sad to say. There are no flying cars mainly because there is no government funding for that kind of thing- ironic, ain't it? We've still got huge malls for the rich and slums for the poor, but it's sad when you look back and realize that the year 2012 is the current highlight of the human race, it's almost like we've descended back into the romance ages with electronics and guns.

But another upsetting fact of our society is that for most handsome and beautiful teens and men in the world, is pedophiles have discovered that young males are… what's the word I'm trying to say… better then females for… uh, repeated use.

When I was a younger kid, in my neighborhood we have three main choices for life: 1, go to the house where you would be repeatedly raped and molested. 2, Go into the various industries British Columbia offered children ages ten and up (the normal age for entering the work force might I add). And 3, die.

Now I'm going to ask you a question, and this question is pretty fucking big since it's decided my life up until this stupid point that I'm at now, it's the one I had to think about when I made the hardest decision in my life: who would you rather have? A crying dirty blonde boy, screaming only 'let me go!' and 'No Stop!' with a British accent that is gone from all the crying and screaming they've done. Blue eyes covered by pain induced tears as they feebly try and fight you off? Or a tall, muscled one who will moan when asked, eyes hooded but still heated with just a barely noticeable hate that is disguised as lust in his green orbs, Irish accent begging for more with as much fake realism as he can and a mane of engine red hair to grip?

I'll tell you who they chose though the reasons may take a while, I'll tell you my story in it's entirety, so sit back, relax and enjoy the horrid tale that isn't quite yet finished. So you'll be able to tell me yourselves, just how horrible my life has been and just how much you pity 'poor little me'.

Because if you want a happy ending, I cant yet guarantee you'll get it, since I think I've given up on one myself. To me, their for nothing but fairy tales, and I stopped believing in those long before this story starts.

**AN: thank you for reading, and I'm putting the warnings for this fic here, they may be subject to change, but this is going to be the warnings in the long run:**

** 1: there will be no graphic rape or intimate scenes but there will be mentions of both (possibly some fondling, I'm not yet sure about that)**

** 2: swearing if a huge one. They are kids and swearing like sailors (I kind of blame Pirates of the Caribbean for that though)**

** 3: I originally thought of this as a fan fiction, tried to write it as an original, then went back to fan fiction form (I'm sorry, but there may be mixed up bits in here somewhere.**

** 4: you might want to kill me at some points because of the story (I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW IF IT'LL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!)**

** 5: Axel is the narrator, my last fic was from Roxas' point of view, so this is going to be from Axels.**

** 6:graphic scenes are ahead, but no sex! I don't write that. There will be general gore and death.**

** 7: I'm going to have OC's in here… there are going to be a lot of the games characters, but I'm substituting a few that I COULD have used with MY CHARACTERS so I can use the Kingdom Hearts characters where I really need them.**

** 8: I have only played Kingdom Hearts games as follows: Kingdom Hearts I, RE: Chain of memories, 358/2 Days, Kingdom Hearts II. I knew nothing of Ventus until I started reading some fan fictions, so he's probably the only one outside of those games that I'll be using.**

** Thank you for reading the warnings and the prologue, I hope you enjoy the fic!**


	2. Chapter 1

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter 1**

'**A man can not be too careful in the choice of his enemies'- Oscar Wilde**

Late October, my favorite time of the year thanks to all the falling leaves, and the fact that I was only nine and I had a few weeks left until I had to go into the work force- until then I would remain with my aunt who'd claimed me when my parents died. She'd promised right off the bat though that once I turned ten I'd be on my own- nice aunt, don't you think? Anyhow, the sun was peaking through the dismal clouds as I walked down the streets of Vancouver, traffic lights had been removed years ago since the only people rich enough to drive never crossed paths, and if they did it was at speeds so slow that a turtle could move faster- but I digress about that, I've never had the privilege of owning such a luxury.

My hands were stuffed in my pockets and my mind was swimming with the events that'd just taken place: my best friend had called me from his house, informing me that he was having a birthday party the next day and that I should make sure to at least show up. My bright red hair was a beacon for everything and as I passed a group of women who looked more then shifty I heard their remarks- apparently they liked my hair. I was originally from Ireland, so I guess you can imagine where I get the looks from, but when my parents were murdered I was dumped into the hell-hole that was Vancouver, British Columbia.

I knew that getting a present for a birthday wasn't really the norm anymore, usually people didn't like celebrating just how old they were getting since it symbolized how much longer until you go into the work force or how long you've been there, but my best friend was always excited about birthdays and I could never help but smile to him and agree to come- even though I was on the far end of a phone line that wanted to cut out at any moment.

There were of course those people who chose to live 'off the grid' (even though the preverbal grid didn't exist) and they live in the woods, providing for themselves, but China still made EVERYTHING and we still had to pay to get what we needed. So the workforce was a necessity for people in 'big cities' crawling with addicts, dealers, basic low scum and horrible people who'd rather trample all over a kid like me and make them one with the ground. Now the world still had it's advantages, if you got paid enough money- usually by having a once illegal job -you had enough for a car, and enough to go to a mall and buy something nice, or to go to one of the many clubs and spend more of your money. It was my dream to get enough money to one day live in a big shiny pent house and go to the clubs at night, drinking with fake friends, but that had just been a dream, and I knew it back then too.

"Hey, come here a minute kid." a hand clamped down on my shoulder and I was quick to swat it off since no one, touched me. I'd broken wrists, arms and even a few ribs because of it, and they always touched me because of the same thing.

"Hey, I said come here a sec!" the man grabbed me again and before I could force him to let me go I was slammed against the brick building that was practically falling apart- unfortunately, Hastings street, had just gotten far worse over the years and it was practically impossible to walk even close to it without being approached by a drug-head or a Leach (pimp).

"Fuck off you lout!" colorful language that was completely inappropriate in my aunts house, but it was normal to swear your fool head off in public… people would have been more shocked if you were polite.

"I've got a proposition for you kid. How old are you?" I could tell by the look in his eyes, the fact he was looking me up and down, and the fact that he had a cell phone that was still on and in the middle of a conversation that this guy was a Leach and my blood instantly ran cold.

"Old enough to kick your sorry excuse for an ass." I could tell he was the middle man, the kind of guy who brought back kids to 'the boss' for approval and set them up with customers, but I refuse- whole-heartedly to be drawn into that kind of thing, I was a few weeks away from my job on the river with the loggers- I was going to ride the logs down river -thanks to the fact that I knew the owner of the company in Vancouver and he'd promised me I could have the dangerous job since no one else would take it and I figured it'd be fun as hell.

"Oh… you've got a mouth on you, huh? Well… I've seen you round here before kid, and I know you've only got a few options. And I know a way you could make millions if your good enough."

"Piss off ya cock-sucker!" I ripped his hands off my shoulders and kneed him before making a run for it. I'd never blatantly been asked to be a whore before and it pissed me the fuck off at the time- I wasn't even nine yet! Our society might suck, but we've still got rules about that shit!

I ran the rest of the way to the store, wanting to get my friends birthday present a day early with the half a years allowance I've saved up for this single occasion. I always spent the most money on him because no one else did: he had a younger brother who was in all reality his twin, but everyone liked him- including their mother -so I indulged my friend to the best of my abilities. I was the person who protected him from most of the world, since their mom was basically off her rocker as it was. And his brother was such a whiny brat, that my friend always gave in and bowed to his will.

I got inside the store and let out a sigh before looking up at all the electronics and I turned towards the large display case of handheld devices. My eyes landed onto a black and white system right away and I walked up, grabbing a box off the hook before grabbing three games for it and walking over to the cashier and pulling my money pouch out of my jeans pocket.

"Hello… how may I help you?" the woman didn't seem to think I was ready to buy and that I just wanted to ask a question, but since I wasn't even ten yet I could understand her confusion.

"I want to buy this." she raised an eyebrow at me but I just pull out five gold coins and set them down- I know it's enough to buy what I've set out.

"Did you steal this?"

"Do you really care?" I raised an eyebrow at her and she just smiled before taking my money and handing me a bag for the device and three games. I let a smirk cross my face and let out a bit of a sigh as I stuff it all into a bag and start to leave the store.

"Hey there kid… what're you doing in this part of town?" I ran to the other side of town but this guy followed? What the hell is wrong with him?

"Looking for a guy like you, so I can kick his ass." I sling my whole bag over my shoulder and turn to leave but he caught the shoulder that my bag is over this time. I turned around and punched his gut. "I told you to fuck off. You should really learn…" I raised my leg and kicked his gut instead of another punch "to listen better." I pulled myself out of his grasp and started running again.

The shop was on the corner of Hastings and Main, and my aunts apartment is on Hastings and Powell in one of the old Woodwords department store, but it hadn't been one of those in over a hundred years since before the revolution. It's just one room, a bathroom, a small kitchen and we were lucky enough to have a balcony too. I rushed through the doorway to the building and let out a sigh, clutching my bag to my chest and making sure that the weight of the gaming systems and games were still there.

I let out a sigh and quickly rushed up the stairs so I was closer to our shared room. "Axel, is that you? Where the hell have you been? You talk on the phone for an hour like some kind of girl and then you vanish?" I let out another sigh and slumped against the door; my aunt was one of those authoritarian kind of ladies… and she was in short: a bitch.

"Sorry! I had to go get something for tomorrow." she really didn't have to yell, she was just sitting in the bathroom on the crapper smoking something- again. Her daily pattern was really nothing for me to worry about, she woke up, smoked a joint, had a beer, ate something that smelled like shit, smoked another joint, sniffed some coke, then passed out for a few hours- but after that I made sure I left for Roxas' house- the friend I've been talking about.

"Yeah right…" my aunt stumbled out of the bathroom, looking more stoned then ever and I had a feeling it was going to be a night to go over to Roxas' to sleep until she's fine again. "Then what the hell's in the bag?"

I tried to hide it behind me but it didn't work and she ripped it from my grasp before I could hold fast to it. I had no choice but to watch in horror as she lowered her gaze to the bag and starter rifling through it.

"Hey… that's mine! You don't have the right to-"

"I've got every right! I'm your guardian and that means wherever you stole this from I should get to at least enjoy it!"

"I didn't steal it! I bought it!"

"Oh, so your stealing my money and buying stuff? I should give you lashes!" I winced at just the thought, but I'd had too much going on with those freaks from the 'organization' as I call them basically knocking on my door to take me to a Boggle and start selling me.

"Fuck you, hag!" I ripped the bag back and stormed into the 'bedroom' and grabbed the few things I own: a teddy bear my parents had given me when I was five, my extra three sets of clothes and my photo album before I stood and turned to the door.

"Where the hell are you going kid? Your not going anywhere!" her breath smelled horrible and I remember wanting to puke because of it.

"Watch me." I pushed her out of my way, not caring that she fell over onto the small dresser where she kept all her needles, she really could have bled to death and I'm sure all I would have done would have been smile and jump for joy.

I got to the bottom floor of the building and looked to the side to see Mr. Bubbles- he was a scary man, small and shifty… but I'm sure he genuinely cared, he just couldn't kick his cocaine habit was all. "If she comes down, ye didn' see me?" I saw his eyes roll into the back of his head- something I found most drug addicts did because of my voice -and he nodded his head a few times as he bit his bottom lip as if he'd just tasted something sweet; freak was all I thought as I started walking again.

October, I loved that time of year, but the rain was horrible. By the time I got to Roxas' house I was practically swimming since the entirety of the storm drains were backed up and I was walking at the bottom of a hill.

Roxas lived in a better part of town- not the best, but not the worst either. I stopped at the entrance to the building, it had once been an old office tower, it was really shiny and new only a few years ago, but it had become slightly dingy and stuffy over just three years so they'd turned it into apartment buildings and at least they had more then one room that I could share with Roxas while his brother shared the other room with their mother- like when I usually came over.

I guess calling him a good friend would be playing it down- a lot. Roxas had moved to Vancouver with his mom and brother after their father died back in England. He's still got a bit of his accent and the way we met was odd, I was just walking down the street. I'd moved into Vancouver a few months before and I kind of knew my way around. He'd asked me to help him find 'home' not an easy ask when a seven year old is asking you I promise that. So I'd helped him and he invited me in for dinner, we've been friends ever since.

I moved over to the information pad and hit his last name, waiting for someone to pick up the phone on the other end. I'm not really sure how long I'd been crying for, but as I stood there looking at my reflection in the fogged over glass I realized that tears were streaming willingly from my shamrock eyes.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ventus, can you let me in? I need to talk to Roxas." there is a long pause and I thought he might have hung up to be honest. "Ventus?"

"Give me the phone you tosser!"

"Make me you whiny git!"

"I said give it here!" there was a crash and a few scuffling sounds and then a breathless "Come in." as the button on the phone was pushed and the door unlocked with that annoying buzz sound.

I got right into the elevator with one of the annoying nosy neighbors I'd learned to ignore and the entire ride up I didn't bother to answer any of her questions about what kind of job I was going to get and 'if I ever needed money, her door was open' but the simple thought just made me shiver since I hadn't even hit puberty yet.

By the time I knocked on Roxas' door there was a full-out fistfight on the inside and their mom opened the door. "Hello Ms. Michaels, how're you?" she just gave me a smile and motioned for me to come in.

"I'm alright, I didn't know Roxas was going to be having a sleep over tonight. Is that what the two of you were talking about on the phone?" I just nod my head a few times since I knew I could have told her we were smoking joints through the phone and she would have believed it. "How sweet. Well their fighting right now, but if you'd like to join me in watching TV that'd be alright." I nod my head again and follow her to the fairly small living room.

The TV was blank and I was wondering if she was going to turn it on since she had the remote tucked under her arm. I opened my mouth to ask her if she was going to turn the TV on but she cut me off with a fit of laughter, mumbling something about 'oh that Bugs Bunny' I didn't even know who- or what -the heck that was!

"Uh, it sounds like their done fighting, so I'm going to go hang out with Roxas now." she just nod her head and waved me off, staring at the TV intently.

"Axel… hi, how're you?" I couldn't help but let out a sigh seeing my best and only friend face down on the floor, his arms hog-tied behind his back and his twin sitting on his butt to keep him down and pinned.

"I'm guessing you forgot to block your right side again." I tried to make my voice sound un-amused, but I loved it when they fought, it was some actual entertainment. Plus they never actually hurt each other since they thought that if one got hurt the other would feel it too.

"It's not my fault! I was going for his left side! Now will you get him off of me!" I let out a sigh and turned my eyes to Ventus, wondering if he was just going to get up or if I'd have to make him.

"Fine… make it hard." I walked into the room and bent down beside the two, my left knee on Roxas' left shoulder. Ventus grabbed my right shoulder to flip me but I hooked my right ankle around Ventus' left and flipped him, prying him off Roxas in the process.

Blue eyes went wide and blonde hair fanned out around his head as I let out a sigh, trying to decide whether or not to just get up and chance that he wasn't going to attack me in return.

"So, what's mum doing?"

"Laughing at nothing in the living room. Hey, do you know what a 'Bugs Bunny' is?"

"Nope. So… how long are you going to pin him?" Roxas looked over my shoulder at his pinned twin, no intent on helping him and I shrugged sitting over Ventus' waist.

"I don't know… I thought this was kinda fun, don't you?"

"Let him up, I'm sure he wants to go whine to mum." I shrugged and stood up, watching with some more amusement as Ventus ran out of the room already whining. I never _really_ had siblings of my own, so watching the two of them interact was always interesting for me.

"So… I see your bag is stuffed. What happened?"

"I left- for good this time. I'm never going back there." the gravity of what I'd done started to set in there: I was going to be on the streets if Roxas' mom actually figured out that I was going to be living with them until my birthday, and when the 'Collectors' as we all call them, came to the door to bring me to the stupid job building to give me my papers saying I'm actually old enough to work and sign me up for a job- even thought I already had one set up. The rich people were eminent about getting as many young children into their trade so they could make the most money.

"Really? Your not going to go back? But she's your only family."

"Of course I'm not going back. As soon as I got a job she'd just take my money and buy her drugs with it. This way I'll get my own money and use it for what I need and not what she wants." truth be told, I was scared shitless- who wouldn't be? But I couldn't really let Roxas know that, he looked up to me and he was my best friend. Besides, this isn't a world where you show how weak you are to anyone.

"Well… do you want to play a game? Ventus got a new racing game." I sent Roxas a smile knowing he liked fighting games and hated racing games.

"What'd your mom get you?"

"Oh… you know her, she thinks were the same person. I got nothing." I let out a sigh and crawled over to my bag, pulling the shopping bag out and moving back over to him, I set the bag in his lap and waited for him to open it.

"Axel, you really shouldn't have! I don't need anything for my-"

"Shut yer gob and open it already. You know I get your birthday presents." every years it's the same thing: 'Axel, your really shouldn't have! I don't need anything for my birthday, really.' then he'd give me a face that tried to make me feel bad about spending money on him. "Besides, it's not like I didn't have the extra cash."

"But if you stopped buying me gifts then you would be able to buy yourself a second set of pants that fit, or a better jacket that would hold longer!" I just rolled my eyes and flopped back, turning my head in his direction.

"Roxas… do me a favor- no matter what happens to me with the workforce: if I give you a gift- no matter what it is… don't reject it." my feelings towards Roxas weren't a mystery to me. I wanted him to be happy, I wanted him to have a good life, I wanted to have his attention and I would do anything for all of it. I'm sure this is what my parents described when they described love and most people would be scared of this feeling for their best friend, but the feeling grew because he was my friend.

We stayed up for a few hours that night talking and playing with his new gift and talking about nothing and everything. The next day was slow for us since Ventus' friends all came over for 'his' party, none of them really paid much attention to either me or Roxas, so we went up to the roof and hung out there, tossing stones over the edge and snickering as people down below yelled and cursed us.

"So Axel… what was Ireland like?" Roxas had asked the question many times before, but I think it was just the fact that he liked hearing of my description.

"Green… lush, tricklin' streams and rollin' hills. There was a lake by ma house where I always swam in the summer. The village I lived in was fairly small, everyone there hunted for their meat and went to Dublin for all their other necessities, we were pretty off the grid. It was quaint and relaxed I suppose, my parents figured it was the perfect place to raise a lad like me. I guess they were just-"

"Can you tell me more about the lake? And you left out the meadow you found, you know how I love the meadow."

I gave him a smile and began telling the part of the story he liked again. It was so calming just talking to him as the rain started to fall, lightly at first, but it got heavier after ten minutes and we were soon soaked.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The next day when I woke up I was laying in Roxas' bed with him, he was sprawled out across the foot of the bed and I was curled in a tight ball in the top corner, taking up as little room as I could since that's just how I slept.

I looked around and noticed that Ventus was standing in the doorway to the room, three of his friends standing behind him and water balloons all in their hands. My eyes went wide and before really being awake I lunged at Roxas, tacking him off the far side of the bed as Ventus and the group let loose a bunch of water balloons.

"What the fuck?" I clapped my hand over Roxas' mouth since I knew that him yelling because of the cold was what Ventus wanted. One of the water balloons didn't break and I grabbed it as I took my hand off of Roxas' mouth. "Axel, what the fuck is going on?"

"Shhh… your brother decided to wake us up." I hid the water balloon under the bed inside the shoe box I knew Roxas used for his own things that Ventus didn't know about.

Once the wave stopped I stood up and sat down on the sodden bed, with a glare. "Thanks for the wake up call boys… what's next? Throwing our breakfast at us?"

"Tosser!" Ventus should have learned by that point that it wasn't a rude thing for him to call me.

"Don't care Ventus… your just upset that I'm hot and your not. That Roxas got the brains and you got nothing. He climbed the smart tree and you hit every branch as you fell out of the stupid one." I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back against the wall as Roxas got up and glared at Ventus.

"Thanks Axel… but I think I can fight my own battles!" Roxas lunged over the bed and I let out a sigh as all the younger boys in the room started rolling around on the ground. "Axel! It's eight to one here!" I knew he'd pull me into it.

I rolled to the side of the bed closest to them and grabbed my shoes, pulling them onto my feet and grabbing Roxas' shoes and having the laces already tied together I slung them over my shoulder.

I could see the two blonde boys in the middle of the froth and let out a growl as I wove my foot through the mass of moving bodies and stepped on Ventus' leg so he was pinned as I reached in to grab Roxas.

"I don't know why you've got to do this every birthday! And you even said you could fight your own battles Roxas." I didn't get an answer but I wasn't expecting one as it were. I grabbed Roxas by the upper arm and yanked him out of the pile.

"Axel! Hey-hi-how are you?"

"I've been better." I pressed his shoes at his chest and ground my teeth together as I started yanking him out of the room.

"Oh! Ventus, happy birthday again dear."

"His name is Roxas!" I knew the anger was unneeded, but she really should know that she had two sons and not just Ventus. I opened the front door and pulled Roxas out, knowing we'd already decided on our plans for the day: hop a sky train and hang out in Stanley park for the day, I'd agreed to buy him ice-cream as many times as he wanted and he'd agreed to not wipe me out of money- something I didn't really care if he did since I'd be starting the workforce soon.

"So! What are we going to do once we're in the park?" Roxas gabbed my arm and tugged a few times as we walked down the hallway his apartment was on. "I want to know… it's something fabulous isn't it? You always spoil me for my birthday, I don't like it but I promised."

I let out a sigh and raised an eyebrow at him. "C'mon, like I'm going to tell ya now." my feelings were as solidified to me as steel and I knew that. Homosexuality was something that was open for people now, unlike before the revolution, but that didn't exactly mean that a nine year old was allowed to show feelings for his best friend so I never let my feelings slip that much.

"Common Axel! Tell me, please! I'll- I'll read that William Blake poem you like so much!" that was a low blow, he knew I liked his accent with the poem better then my own, but at the same time he liked hearing me say the Jabberwocky poem from Alice in Wonderland.

"Nah, I think I'll keep it as a surprise." it was a fair walk to the closest sky train station, so I grabbed his hand and started running.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The day my birthday came along I was shocked to find the Collectors at Roxas' door for me. I'd grabbed my stuff and left as quickly as I could before his mom figured out that I'd been there for at least two weeks.

"So… what's your profession going to be?" I had no idea how they managed to track kids down, but as I was ushered into the large Bentley that belonged to the 'Reaper' of Vancouver who kept track of the kids and made sure we all started working I just clenched my jaw. "Come on kid… lighten up and tell us." Collectors were my worst friends, I'd seen them around a bunch, but they all just worked for the Reaper and wanted nothing to do with us.

"I'm going into the logging industry. Going to be a river rider." they just laughed, I knew the life expectancy as a river rider, but I wanted to do it because it paid better then most other jobs and for me all I needed was the money since I was going to live on my own.

The rest of the car ride I remained quiet, not bothering to comment when they said that I was going to die, or that I was just setting myself up for death and that I should do something really worth while with my existence if I just wanted the money.

Reaper Co. the place where one man would tell me what I'm going to do with my life and how I can do it. He'll give me all the options I have and then I'll tell him what I'm going to do. There wasn't a good way to know what was happening to you before you went in, so you could imagine the overwhelming fear to go into a huge building to meet a guy who everyone called 'The Reaper' it was nerve wracking.

The Collectors grabbed my arms and pulled me towards the front of the building as if I was trying to resist even though I was simply following their jostles and shoves. "I'm walking here you louts!" I elbowed the Collector on my right and pulled out of the left ones grasp, continuing the walk on my own as they tried to find out what I did.

The moment I walked through the front doors I was grabbed again and clenched my jaw. "What are you doing here without Collectors!" a few of the men punched me until I was on the ground and as one raised his leg to kick I jerked my own leg up and caught him between the legs.

I got to my feet as the door opened again, four Collectors walking in with one person before the two who'd taken me came over and grabbed my shoulders again. "Sorry, he slipped out of our grasp. Feisty." after the short apology they jerked me towards the elevator and I started walking again.

Hands latches onto me and the other ten year old who'd came in with me as we got into the elevator and any hands that got close enough to my mouth I bit at them, struggling to get my limbs back in my own control as I was being stripped bare.

"Get off you bloody fucking sons of rat-eating goblins!" I couldn't even see where the hands were coming from but as I was stripped in front of the ten year old girl fear wracked through my body, I'd never heard of this happening before.

"Will you shut up? God.. Just close your mouth and block it out. Haven't you ever been told how you go about meeting a Reaper?" the girls high voice hit my ears and I froze.

"No! What the bloody fucking hell does it have to do with being stripped?"

"They clean and redress you, and if I were you I'd hold the swearing to a minimum. Reapers don't like being sworn at. They consider it very rude."

"The last tin' I'm thinkin' 'bout right now is manners towards a man who is havin' me stripped!" I fought against the hands again as cold water was dumped on me. The girl shrieked because of the temperature I suppose- though I can never be sure. I hated how my accent was back with a fever and I didn't want the Reaper to hear it for the simple reasons that he'd 'suggest' for me to go into a Boggle- or in formal terms: Whore House.

Brushes and soap started coming out and scrubbing at my flesh. I tried to get away but after another moment or two I gave up and just went slack against the hands holding me up.

Once the water, brushes and soap were gone I felt air start to heat up and blow at us, effectively drying and warming my body, even though I still couldn't see. Being stripped really wasn't part of what I figured my day was going to be like, especially when I told Roxas that I'd be back at the end of the day to get my things.

The doors were opened and the hands still holding me started to lead me into whatever room it was and I rolled my shoulders as I walked. I was allowed to see and I realized that the hands belonged to three men and two women, the women left me alone to go get clothes and the men started working with my body. I was pushed into a leather chair and they started working on my feet and hands as others started to fiddle with my hair.

I saw scissors in the mirror and jumped up out of the seat, spilling a few bottles of clear nail polish. "Fuck no! I'm not getting my hair cut!" my hair was just how I liked it and it wasn't changing: medium length and naturally spiked back like a fireball.

"Alright… we wont cut your hair, but we have to do something with it." I glared as I was thrust back into the seat and my shoulders were held by the man who'd set the scissors down. "How about we fluff it up and try and make it look like you've got some body to it."

"No… just leave it."

"No. what about combing it down in the back to make you look more respectable."

"No." I glared at him through the mirror but he only smiled and I saw his eyes roll into the back of his head much like the guy from my aunts building. "Oh God… Jessica, bring the violet eyeliner with you!" my glare just intensified.

"And what, prêt ell, are you going to do to me if I refuse to let you put that crap on me?"

"I'm sure the Reaper will think of something Axel… he does ultimately place you in your job option after all."

I keep the glare on my face and tense all my muscles as I wait for them to finish, keeping my eyes closed until the makeup artist told me to look up. And I discovered that I hate makeup being applied so close to my eyes, even though the effect had just the right lightness to my eyes.

"Come, come… he's waiting he's waiting." the make up artist made me stand up and he quickly dressed me in a white suit, accented by a gold vest and a golden tie.

I took a moment to look at myself in the mirror and let out a sigh, I looked nothing like myself and it pissed me off, my flaming red hair was pushed back out of my face and tied at the nape of my neck, a single lock flicking up above my left eye and my eyes themselves looked like they would lure anything into a spell.

"Alright Axel, stop admiring yourself and get going!" I was ushered once again with hands on my shoulders and I was pushed through a set of doors that made me want to freeze once I saw the group of ten year olds on the other side.

"Alright… have fun." the hands were removed from my shoulders and I spun around to ask the man what he meant but I stopped seeing that the large doors just closed.

"Welcome one and all… to the hall of the Reaper!" I spun around once more and my eyes went wide seeing the tall man who must have been at least seven feet tall, he was wearing a long black cloak that still allowed us to see his head of black hair all pushed back from his face. "You are the Scorpio's born ten years ago! I shall evaluate each of you over the course of one week, I shall listen to the requests you have and I shall give you suggestions. I'll get to know you and give you the right job for your personality."

My eyes went wide, it wasn't supposed to happen like that! We're just supposed to sit in a room for five minutes on our birthday and then the Reaper is just supposed to give us some papers and tell us where to go for our job.

**AN:**

**Me: thank you all for continuing after the warnings! It makes me really happy that you're still willing to read this.**

**Axel: well why wouldn't they? It's from my POV, isn't it?**

**Roxas: Stop being such a cocky bastard.**

**Axel: you love it, so don't tell me what to do.**

**Me: Alright, anyhow, thank you all (again) for this fic I'm going to use Sora for having the last word though, so here we go: Sora!**

**Sora: wow… I've never done this before, I thought you didn't like me.**

**Me: It really depends, to be honest I just think that Roxas got the short end of the stick really.**

**Sora: Am I going to be in this fic?**

**Me: yes.**

**Sora: am I going to be a whiny bitch like you usually make me?**

**Me: I'll try not ^^' it's hard to break a habit though Sora.**

**Sora: fine… anyhow! Thank you all for reading, and everyone here would love to hear what you have to say! Elizabeth loves reviews and we all read them over her shoulder! Constructive criticism is totally welcome too! Have a good one, and we'll see you next chapter! ^o^!**


	3. Chapter 2

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter 2**

'**Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.'- David Sarnoff**

With a flourished movement of his cape the Reaper floated down from the slight dais and into the crowd of kids scarcely taller then me. I could see them flock around him like pigeons in the park and rolled my eyes before scanning the room for a place to sit down and just watch. Since Mr. Woods- the owner of the Logging company had sent in a letter requesting me I had a sheer shot at getting what I wanted because of that. Mr. Woods wanted me to be a river rider because he didn't have anyone volunteering for it, and it was one of those jobs that had to be done.

I couldn't see a single spot but the chair on the dais that the Reaper had walked off of. All the kids were looking at it like it was the holly grail so I took a deep breath and swelled my chest a bit before weaving my way through the crowd.

Someone bumped me so I bumped back, not willing to be pushed around in this group of kids who'd probably gone to school and knew what the hell was going on, but in Ireland there was no need for school, and when I got here there was no chance that my aunt would have paid for that. To be honest that was one of the reasons I wanted a job: so I could learn something.

As soon as I plopped down on the seat I raised a leg and put it on the seat in front of me and I examined the room, leaning to my right with my elbow on the armrest and my chin placed on my knuckles as I looked around the room, seeing all the pretty looking kids, as comfortable in the annoying white and gold clothes as they've ever been. All eyes turned to me and they all looked shocked and almost appalled by me just sitting down.

Black caught my attention out of the corner of my eye and I knew it was the Reaper, but I kept my face impassive as I looked out over the crowd of at least a hundred kids who'd been here for various numbers of days. All the boys were wearing the same thing as me and all the girls were wearing white dresses and gold sashes around their waists and their hair done up with gold ribbons; little golden shoes hugging their feet uncomfortably.

"Can I help you… Axel?"

"Yes, I'd like my papers now. I don't really have a week to sit around and cater to your every need."

"And why is that?" he sounded tart, but I ignored that and just answered the question truthfully.

"Because I want to get working, so I can get some education… so I can get out of this shit-hole of a city." the room stopped again and I refused to look up at the Reaper, hoping that if I pissed him off enough he'd just give me my papers and let me go.

"Your that boy from the letter… the one about the river riding, aren't you?" I nodded my head once, and removed my hand from under my chin to examine my newly polished fingernails, seeing that there wasn't a speck of dirt to pick out with my teeth. I let out a sigh and put my hand back under my chin with a slight roll of my shoulders.

I felt like I'd been prepped to go into a Boggle but I refuse to, if it means running away I promised myself long before that I'd never go into one.

"Are you going to look at me or are you going to examine your perfect nails?"

"I'd rather not… I got enough of a look at you. And you obviously seem to know me, and my nails aren't perfect. Perfection is not possible in this world- even for someone as well known and respected as you."

I was ripped out of the seat and held up so my face was level with that of the Reapers and I set my glare again, trying to find purchase for me feet. I gave up trying to find any kind of purchase for my feet and I know that he's going to at least chew me out before setting me down again.

"And what makes you think I wont set that pretty little face of yours into a Boggle and leave it there to rot? What makes you think, that I'm a nice guy you can befriend and then just forget about?" I get the full brunt of his piercing blue eyes and fear rushed through my body though I didn't show it.

"No, I think your going to give me what I want, because I wont kiss your ass like all the other stupid kids." I can see my reflection in his eyes and I want to kick him so I can run, but if I don't get my papers Mr. Woods will refuse to let me work for him.

"Huh… do me a favor, Jeremy, and take him to my office, I want to have a talk with this young Irish boy." I was set down and I made to sit back down but my shoulder was caught for the umpteenth time that day and lead into a room with a large wooden desk, large chair and a single uncomfortable looking chair.

I walked around the desk and sat in the Reapers chair since the other looked just too uncomfortable, a studded pattern on the seat that seemed completely uncomfortable.

I was about to set my feet on top so I could recline, figuring he was going to take a while to at least greet all the other kids, but my first ankle was caught by a pale hand with long fingers that made my skin crawl.

"I'd like my seat, Axel."

"Well then you really should have a more comfortable looking chair for your guests. Because studs digging into my butt doesn't seem appealing to me."

"Get. Off. My. Chair." I held my hands up in weak defense and got off the chair and I took my time walking around to the other chair. The Reaper waited for me to get to the seat before sitting himself, though I only stayed seated for a moment before hopping up. Setting my feet on the seat of the chair and planting my butt on the top of the back of the chair, I rested my elbows on my knees before sitting up straight and unbuttoning the sleeves of the white shirt so I could roll them up.

"I know all about you Axel, in Ireland you got into many, many fights, your parents were killed and you went ballistic. You were missing for close to a month and just when people had decided to carve your name into the stone with your parents, a large family house was found burning…" he paused here and I knew what was coming next; the story was about me after all, so how could I not? "You were standing out of the front lawn, laughing like a maniac as you watched the family in the top floor master bedroom burn." I could see the anger in his eyes and I gave him a bit of a smile as I reset my elbows on my knees.

"You know, Mr. Reaper… it's a real shame murder isn't a crime anymore, because now the score is settled by whoever takes out the whole family first- though it was never proven that I set the blaze. I was simply wandering by when I noticed, then I remembered something that was really… funny." it's true, I hadn't set the fire, I just fueled it- but don't get me wrong, I was positive that it was the man who had killed my family.

There is one fact that no one knows though, a fact that has remained secret until I've written them here: I had a sister. She was a beautiful little baby that didn't deserve to die, she wasn't even a month old yet and my parents had yet to take her out of the house so not even our family (like my aunt) knew about her. She had been crushed when my fathers body fell on her, he suffocated her, laying dead on top.

My parents had made such a big deal about not letting people see her, they said she was our princess and ours alone, they even let me name her: Lilly. I'd taken her away before anyone could get to our house that night, I took her and a basket and ran.

By the time I stopped my lungs hurt and I was in my meadow, the single place where I could always hide from all the dangers of the world and whenever I got into a fight it was the place I went to lick my wounds and it was the one place in the world I knew I could stay forever. I buried her under one of the large trees in the middle, there was a nook where I dug the grave.

She was so cold, and turning blue, it doesn't take long for a baby to loose it's color when they die. I'd taken my pocket knife from my back pocket and carved her name into the tree, it was the one tree I always climbed and hung out in when I went to the meadow.

"Really? How convenient for you. Either way, as soon as you got to Halifax on the ship you got into a fight, again in Toronto, then there was nothing until Edmonton, and finally you landed: Vancouver, British Columbia. You've been in a countless number of fights and to be frank I'm getting sick of it. I've seen your name so many times that it make me wanna puke." the Reaper leaned forward on his desk and I sneered at him as he fisted his hands.

"I wasn't aware I was so popular. Good to know I'm being thought of I suppose." I shrugged and looked down at my hands, waiting for him to say something else, though he said nothing.

"I just really don't know, if giving you this job you want, is really the right thing for you. don't you think another job would be just as good?"

"No. being a river rider pays much more then anywhere else. That fact that my life is on the line is nothing big for me, I've got priorities, and they all involve a high paying job." the Reaper just smiled at me and I took a deep breath. "After all, we've all gotta look out for our own, don't we?"

"Yes, yes we do I suppose. Now, get back into the room and stop acting like the spoiled killer you are."

"Oi, I'm not a killer. But I'll gladly go into the room and play nice if that's what you want… as long as I get those papers." the Reaper just smiled and motioned for me to go back into the room again, so I stood up and stuffed my hands into the white slacks pockets and went back into the room.

No one paid me much attention as I walked back into the room and sat down on the stairs this time. "Candice Galion, your next!" I flinched at the sound of the name being yelled, but went back to counting the crystals in the chandelier once the door was closed again.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"So, what's your name? It's been two days, and you're the only one who hasn't even tried to hang out at all." I looked up from the small bobble I'd occupied my time with and stared at the girl, I could already see that her chest was already coming in and I could guess what 'career' they were pushing her towards: runner in mines. Girls usually gave up early and went into what used to be considered prostitution, but it's more commonly called being a Kicker.

"Axel." I didn't want to answer in more then one word since I knew that no one I met here would even want to look at me once we left this place. Granted I was one of the most well rested kids since I actually slept at night, I didn't bother trying to talk to the Reaper into the late hours of the night.

"Oh… do you mind if I sit with you?" I shrugged and moved over a little so give her space between us on the stair so she wouldn't be sitting on me. She sat down and I noticed the blush on her face, a slight blush crept onto my own face just for the simple fact that an attractive girl had never asked to sit beside me before. "I thought what you did on the first day was a really cool thing… not many people would do something like that."

I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at the floor, wondering what she wanted me to say. I turned my eyes back down to the bobble that I didn't own and just occupied my time. "A lot of us were wondering if you got in trouble, and I guess you could say I'm the only one brave enough to actually ask." I waited for her to ask, but she didn't so I remained quiet for a minute.

"I got in trouble, he yelled at me a lot then he gave up and sent me out." I turned to look at her and saw that her eyes were wide.

"And-and you didn't cry?"

I raised an eyebrow at that and angled my body so I was facing her. "What do you mean? Why would I cry is someone just yells at me?" her eyes went wide and her mouth fell open like it was something of great importance. "What are you, some kind of princess? Who the hell cant take an adult yelling at them? Their just bigger."

"Y-yeah but, when adults get mad… doesn't it scare you?" I shook my head and looked back down at the bobble, noticing that I'd broken it into two pieces.

"No, adults don't scare me, I don't know what would make you scared of them." I set both pieces of the bobble down and looked back to the girl. "I have a question for you, are you going to tell me your name, or should I start calling you 'girl' like the insensitive jerk that I one day want to be?" I raised en eyebrow and realized that she was blushing; not he effect I wanted. I'd wanted to get her pissed at me so she'd leave.

"The name is Jenn. But I have a question for you: why is your name Axel?" I smirked luckily after my parents had been killed I basically remade myself, and I'd always found Axel… it had a certain ring to it that I just loved.

"It's a popular name in Ireland." that was the opposite of the truth, but I'd come so far on lies as it was, so why not go just a little further? "Why did your parents name you Jenn?"

"Because, they actually named me Jennifer after my aunt, but I like Jenn better. My parents still insist on calling me Jennifer, but you see, I don't really like what Jennifer means because…" her voice just started to trail off, I'd completed my goal by at least making her talk non-stop and have me look like I actually care.

When I'd been speaking with the Reaper he made it sound that I had to be popular to get what I wanted, and I still had four days for that to happen. And believe me when I tell you, I can freaking act. Several of Jenn's friends came over after I put a smile on my face and looked at her dreamily, don't get me wrong, she was pretty- best damn looking girl that was there, but she wasn't what I thought the picture of love in my head was.

"So, Axel… where are you from? I know that accent isn't Canadian."

"Ireland, I moved here a few years ago."

"And you still have your accent?" I saw the girls nose turn up and smiled as sweetly as I could, lessening the harshness to my accent and making it that soft drawl Canadians had learned from bad movies and shitty actors accents.

"Yeah, 'tis one o' those comin' an' goin' kind o' tings." I put a smirk on my face and watched as the girls all swooned and the boy in the group glared slightly. I just gave them a smile as they started talking about their travels and where they go for vacations and I realized that with this one girl, who just might have been the one from the elevator with me, was the popular group and I was becoming 'part of the in crowd' something that made me want to vomit.

"So Axel, why did you come to Canada? And what was it like going up against the Reaper?"

"It was scary, I'm not going to lie. But uh, I don't really want to talk about why I came to Canada… not something I like to think of." I gave a smile to let them 'know I wasn't sad' it was laughable how many times kids got facial expressions wrong and took what you gave them for the truth- I did the same though, so I'm not calling superiority over them in that instance.

"Wow… do you uh… have a girlfriend?" my eyes went wide as I looked at Jenn, her face was bright red and I knew that my own pale skin turned at least pinkish.

"Um… no?" I don't think she could hear the question in it, but I just didn't know what to answer to something like that. Three days of actual human contact without conning to get something or flat out stealing it and I had a girl asking me if I had a girlfriend? Didn't these kids know that life sucks if you live by Hastings and Main? Well apparently not because her next question floored me.

"Well, do you want to have one… maybe me?" I turned over and saw the boys of the group all glaring and I looked away from them and Jenn to find the Reaper, figuring he'd give some kind of help.

Tall, dressed in his black cloak and his black hair slicked back into a ponytail, a few grey streaks traveling it's whole length. He looked like a vampire ready to pick any of us off, and his piercing amber eyes were trained right on me. I'm not sure if he'd put Jenn up to this to see what I'd do, but she did just get out of his office with him before coming over to me.

"Uh… sure, I guess you'd be a really nice girlfriend." I saw the Reaper close his eyes just in time before Jenn threw her arms around my neck and pressed a fairly wet kiss to the side of my face- like she'd just licked her lips. I turned to her with my eyes wide before giving her a smile, I'd never thought of having a girlfriend- certainly not a girl I'd really only met five minutes before hand.

"Ah! I'm so happy! I cant believe it, my first boyfriend is an Irish guy!" she did a sitting dance and clapped her hands, her face completely happy, and I was of course ecstatic that my pedigree could make her so happy.

"Of course… I'm happy my first girlfriend is such a nice girl like you." I knew nothing of her, but I guess that's what the relationship was supposed to be for, right? Her lips curled up into a smile and she grabbed my hand before starting to talk all about the rest of her family, apparently she was an only child- didn't surprise me. She loved the color pink- again, didn't surprise. Her favorite animal was horse- do I need to say it? If she had a choice she'd rather eat Sushi then a burger- go figure. And her uncle was the biggest Grimm in British Columbia, who didn't see that- wait a fucking second! A Grimm! Her uncle owned the biggest- or largest collection -of Boggles in the province?

My eyes went wide despite trying to keep my head cool and I just shivered, her uncle was the man who'd had Leaches and hell knows what else come after me to the point where there were some times I rarely got away?

I didn't feel safe about this, most kids my age would love to have a tie to the family, but I had no such thing because what happened if I ever pissed her off? Would they come and steal me in the night, would he send Wolves to do away with me and hide me so far away that I couldn't breathe?

"So, Axel… what did you ask the Reaper to be?" I gave Jenn a smile and started telling her what I wanted when I grew up, wondering if she was listening to me as much as I was to her, or if she was actually paying attention.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Darkness, it's all I could see when I opened my eyes, I had been sleeping fairly well at night, not opening my eyes or waking up. But being around Jenn for hours on end after finding out who her uncle was, it made me shiver. I sat up in my bed and looked around the room, it was so much like a orphanage with the males in one room the girls in the other all lined up perfectly.

I climbed out of bed and rushed across the cold floor and slipped out the small crack that was left in the door for those who were scared of the dark- allowed to sleep closest to the door while I was pushed to the furthest back corner because I preferred darkness.

"What are you doing out here?" I froze in my tracks, I'd been heading towards the elevator since I didn't know another way out of the building. I spun around and looked into the cold eyes of the Reaper, wondering if he'd even slept since he got the job.

"Looking for a way out of the building."

"What… you don't want to be here anymore?"

"I didn't want to be here the minute I got here and was stripped in the elevator." I knew I was glaring, but I couldn't really help it since I just wanted to go back and sleep in Roxas' bed with him so I could sleep soundly without any nightmares. And in my defense, I said I'd never woken up- not that I didn't have nightmares.

"Well… your out of luck for another four days, unless you'd rather take a bottom-feeder job and I assure you that I can do that if you want Axel."

"No, I don't want that… but what is the point of having us locked up here for a week? I don't like doing stuff I don't understand."

"That is for adults to know, and for children to find out when they become adults." he raised his right hand and pointed back to the room and I looked intently at the bony joints in his finger before looking back at him and widening my eyes in the classic 'puppy dog' expression.

"I'd like a glass of water though."

"There are pitchers throughout the room and a glass on every night stand."

"But all the ice melted, and my throat hurts… I need it to be cold." the Reaper rolled his eyes and lowered his hand before motioning for me to follow him.

"So… it was hard to miss the events of your day today. How does it feel having a girlfriend?" I could see the smirk on his face as he looked over his shoulder at me and only shrugged.

"I don't know… it's nothing too special really." I could tell by the fact that he made eye contact that he'd wanted me to do it and I just had to figure out why.

"Tell me something… any of the other kids you would have sent back without cold water. So why am I so special? You've kicked ten kids out of your chair, yet I can sit in it for hours on end and you don't seem to care."

"Because, popularity is something that makes people in this world. And I need to see how you deal with it."

"But. Why. Me?"

"Because… I know your name isn't Axel, common, it's my job to know everything about everyone. Your parents told someone, and that someone told someone, and I've followed that grape vine all the way back to you, so if you think I'm going to let you get away with whatever shit you want just because you think I don't know your name, think again," I was waiting for him to say it, if he'd just said my name I would have tried to rip his throat out, so it wasn't all that fair that he didn't say the name and my nerves were left on end, but that's what he wanted.

The Reaper had brought me to the kitchen, given me a tall glass of water filled with ice and a brownie before shooing me off to bed, and by shooing I mean he pushed me into the room and walked me to the bed.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The next four days were horrible, the Reaper kept making an example of me; Axel, don't you think? Or Axel, what's the rule? He gave me popularity then ripped it away by asking me all the questions… until he 'busted' me for stealing a brownie- the same one he gave me.

As soon as I was labeled as 'the bad boy' again Jenn had come back, my 'friends' had come back and my life went back to being hell; stuck on a single floor of an office building with close to a hundred other ten year old kids.

"So Axel… I've decided that you're not going to get the logging job. I'm putting you into an office building, it pays better, the hours are a little longer, but it's not nearly as dangerous." my head jerked up from the center of the group I was in, he was supposed to give our jobs in private, the privacy of his office and then the kid just went home. They weren't supposed to be allowed to talk to anyone- so he'd decided to be nice to me again.

"Since I stole from you and all… why are you giving me a less dangerous job? You should want me dead, shouldn't you?"

"Of course not… but you see, you're going to work across town at least until you get a better job then a river rider. There is a very powerful business man who's actually asked for you personally, and being the Reaper I am, I couldn't say no. here is his buildings address, his name and contact information. Go see him now and he'll tell you what to do from there."

"I don't want to work on an office, I want to be a river rider! There is no getting out of an office job! No opportunity for school."

"You wont need it though Axel… don't you see? This is easier, by far it's easier, I promise you you'll be happy. This has happened before when a kid has said they want one job, I give them another but they don't accept." he looked so hoity and I couldn't take it.

I pushed Jenn off my lap where she'd decided was her perch since we'd become 'a couple' and I lunged at the Reaper. "You bastard! Give me the river job!" I didn't want to be stuck in an office, I didn't want to be inside this stupid concrete jungle any longer. I wanted to be back with water and trees, green grass that would be soft to lay down on during a break. I didn't want safety, I wanted swimming for my life and riding longs down the river! "Give it to me! Give me the job!"

I clawed at him with my short nails and punched him as hard as I could until I was pulled off of him and it just allowed me to get a good kick in.

"How dare you attack the Reaper!" I saw one of the Collectors raise his fist and just as he was about to punch my face his elbow was caught and my eyes went to the Reaper, the few scratches that had drawn blood looked ghastly and his eye was already turning black.

"It's alright Marluxia, Axel was just taking his papers and going." another Collector thrust the papers into my face and on my ID card I saw right there on it: class A job license. I'd wanted B, this wasn't fair. Class A license holders could only get a class A job- for those of high salary and 'high quality'. But class B licenses could get a class A job if they could pull it off, or a class C job if they couldn't, class B could be anything, while classes A and C were restricted.

"I hate you! I'll kill you!" what was I supposed to scream at the man who ruined my life? It was either a high job now or going into the forest and never coming out again. But running into the forest couldn't help keep Roxas alive, I had no choice but to do that job if I wanted to help him once his mom kicked him out at ten- or if he ran away sooner. "I swear to every devil in hell I'll be the one to kill you! Your head will be on a silver platter one day!"

Four Controllers grabbed me and pulled me out of the room, they had to hold up my papers and carry them as I thrashed and screamed. My throat was getting raw from screaming so loudly as we rode the elevator down, they were still holding me and I could tell when we were getting close to the bottom floor since one of the men let my left leg go and started covering a handkerchief in some sort of liquid.

"Alright kid. We're warning you once, stop it now or you'll be put out." I didn't stop, I couldn't bring myself to stop. I jerked my elbow into one of their stomachs and kicked with my free leg before a cloth covered hand was pressed against my nose and mouth. I cant describe the smell, but I didn't get much time since it was much stronger then chloroform- an invention by government chemists before the revolution.

When my eyes opened all I could see was concrete, my papers were stuffed into the left breast pocket of a white blazer that matched the rest of the white clothes that still looked as white as it was when I'd taken it off the hanger the day I'd flipped out.

I got up and looked around the alley, wondering how the hell I'd stayed clean in such a place, but as I looked down where my body had been I realized that a blanket had been set out as a block from my suit to the ground. Reaching my hand back into my left pocket I pulled the papers all out again and flipped through them: I set my ID into the wallet I'd found in the right lower pocket and looked through the ten or so pages to see what I had. My eyes narrowed when I saw the envelope with my name on it, the name I hadn't used since my parents died and it looked like the Reapers neat scrawl-like writing.

I opened the envelope and noticed right away that there was something still in there once I took out the paper, but I left it alone and opened the note. 'Dear Axel, I suppose your wondering why I wrote your real name on the envelope for starters, but I promise it was just to get you to read this. I've taken interest in you, and that in turn means that I'll be watching your future closely. It's allowed that a Reaper take one child under their wing a year and prepare them for becoming a Reaper if we think they'll fit the bill. I've chosen you.

'Your job might change very drastically very quickly, but I'll do everything in my power to make sure some conditions you want met are met. Now please, go to the address I've given you and speak with Mr. Skellington. He's a business associate of mine and will take care of you.' I reread the letter twice before letting out a sigh and crumpling it.

I pulled the thing out of the envelope, not even bothering to look at it or pay it any attention, and stuffed it into the left front pocket of the blazer.

I searched in my pockets, looking for my lighter and smiled when I found it. I pulled it out and held up the note and envelope before turning the flint wheel and watching as the letter and envelope caught fire and I held on until the fire got too close to my fingers.

The letter and envelope hit the ground and kept burning, I should have left but I didn't to make sure they vanished into ashes. The look of paper turning black and curling into itself was something I've always had a hard time averting my eyes from, and that alley was no exception.

"Hey! Who're you?" I looked up from the small burning pile and noticed a tall Asian man holding a fairly large axe in his hands. My eyes went wide and my heart instantly started beating rapidly, like it was trying to burst out of my chest. "Answer me!"

"Axel!" he was still at the mouth of the alley and I was in the back, but he was blocking the cleanest way out, and I doubt this Mr. Skellington would care about an excuse on why I'm dirty, just that I am.

"I-I don't know you!" his eyes widened and I knew that was the look of a man about to kill. There were still a few people left, a few crazy people that others hadn't killed because they hadn't wanted to get close enough to them. "W-why are you here?" he was yelling oddly, his words were fragmented and the sound of rotting flesh hit my nose and I assumed right away that it was him- I was right.

"I'm here… because I woke up here." I didn't have a better answer, what ten year old would? I ground my teeth together as he took a step forward and shivered when he switched the hands he was holding the axe in, and it looked like he'd set it in his stronger arm.

"I don't know you… what are you doing here?" the second half of the sentence was yelled, but as I opened my mouth to answer he just roared and rushed at me.

I let out a scream, a completely girly scream that was in no way manly or the scream of a child who'd seen his family murdered and watched a family burned. It was the scream of a child who was going to die.

I turned around and spotted the crack between the buildings, so being the kid that I was I rushed over and started wiggling my way between the buildings, trying to not hear what the man was saying. I looked back and saw the axe swing down, missing me by just a few inches. I shrieked again, hoping that someone might hear my raw throaty screams.

Murder was allowed, but some citizens would still at least help a woman or child if they were being attacked. I looked back and saw that the man had taken a step back, he was still yelling and screaming at me but I saw as he raised the axe to throw it and redoubled my efforts to wiggle to the other side.

"No, no, no, no, no! No! D-don't kill me!" I turned my head towards him, wanting to see if he was actually going to throw it.

My heart was pounding in my chest and I could feel my knees start to shake as I saw the wind up. Tears were streaming down my face and again, I'm not sure when they started. My body shivered and I kept wiggling, I'd decided a long time before that moment that if I was ever to go down it'd be kicking and fighting with all my might.

My eyes locked with the crazy man's and just as he was about to let the axe loose, he was tackled from the side by someone- or something -really small in comparison. Frozen legs and arms, my face must have looked utterly shocked; but I knew that figure, and when I heard the scream I knew I was right.

"Roxas!" my voice hurt like hell as I shouted for him, forcing my vocal cords to work passed the want to do nothing but scream. "Roxas!" my legs started pushing me back in the direction of the alley and I fought to go back as far as I'd gotten so I could help who might possibly be my only family.

"Axel! Axel help me!" I didn't want to hear that, why did he have to make me hear that? Death was always easier to deal with when you couldn't hear the people dying; something I learned back in Ireland. I fought the last five feet until I was back in the alley, the crazy man was swinging the axe at the dumpster and I could see the small sliver of blonde hair coming from behind it where Roxas was hiding.

"Hey! Big-Fat-and-Ugly!" I grabbed up a molded burger and threw it at the back of the mans head.

The minute he stopped mid-swing and turned his head in my direction I could feel my heart in my throat more prominent then any atoms-apple I'd seen in any man. He turned towards me and I pointed to the crevice that I'd just crawled out of, making sure it was Roxas' attention I had.

"Get going! Go home Roxas!"

"B-but you didn't come home! I had to find you!"

"I'll never go home if you don't get going!" I knew he was small enough to slide through the crevice much easier then I had and I watched with fear coursing through my body as he vanished into the slit.

The axe man turned towards the crevice and he raised the axe to do the same as he'd tried with me; to throw the axe and kill the runner. But I wasn't about to let that happen just like Roxas hadn't allowed it to happen to me.

"I said 'Hey'!" my legs moved on their own and I rushed at the man, grabbing onto the head of the axe and I tried to pull it out of his grasp, but he was too strong and it didn't work. I took a moment to look down the crack and I saw that Roxas was gone and let a sigh escape my lungs.

The sigh was a bad mistake and the single moment of relaxation made my hands weaken enough to let go and I was thrust onto the ground.

I cant remember how it happened, but I was suddenly standing in the alley splattered in blood and the man was laying down in front of me on the ground, he'd been hit at least three times, the final hit penetrating his skull and the axe remained there.

I'd shaken my head, knowing I should go find Roxas and tell him I was alive- since fine would not describe me, but I fixed my blood covered jacket and rolled my shoulders a little as I fixed my hair by shaking my head out and ruffling the flaming red locks.

As soon as I left the alley I saw three people and they all jumped back from me, my face was set and my eyes as hard as the emeralds they so resembled. I'd had one of the women ask me if I was alright and I just shrugged and jabbed my thumb back into the alley. "He's the dead one, so what do you think?" I'd rolled my eyes at her and started walking towards Stanley Park, or the sky train station that lead that way.

People looked at me funny, because nine times out of ten people covered in blood, walking down a street with a vacant expression is the kind of person about to snap and kill again. But I was just taking the information in: I'd just killed a person, willingly, and without pre-meditation, I still didn't count the family in the house that burned- simply because I had chickened out before lighting the fire.

"Hey! You think your some kind of tough-shit kid?" I stopped as a hand was set on my shoulder and I turned so I was looking up at the man; he had black hair- dyed -and it looked like he was wearing red contacts in his eyes, and his skin had been bleached from pale to ghost while.

"No." I shrugged my shoulder and his hand slid off of me so I could keep walking, and I did.

It felt like an our of body experience as I made my way to Robson and Davi on the sky train, people would walk into the car then walk back out once they saw me. I was standing against one of the posts, hands in my pockets and the same blank expression on my face since I didn't know what to do about that horrid feeling settling in the pit of my stomach because of what I'd done.

"Excuse me… you cannot come into this building like that." a security guard walked up to me and I held up my hands for him to stop before he could touch me, also showing that I didn't have a weapon.

"I got into a scuffle on my way from the Reapers… I'm here to see Mr. Carlton for a job. Is that possible?" the security guard walked me over to the security office, not making a scene and not treating me like a criminal. I emptied my pockets out onto a table- forgetting my right front pocket -and sat down as the security guards checked with the front office about my appointment and asked me what happened.

They tried to make me explain how I went from being on the ground with the axe above my head to having the axe buried in his head but I just couldn't remember and they relaxed a bit once they assured themselves I wasn't a threat. The security guards didn't care about the law, they just wanted to make sure that the head of the building was safe; Mr. Skellington- just my luck.

I was released and allowed to go to my meeting. The elevator made me want to get sick and by the time the elevator stopped my head was spinning and I stumbled out of it.

My head swiveled from one side to the other and as soon as I saw the trash can the nerves in my stomach let loose. The secretary looked more scared then I felt and rushed out around her desk, leaving a call going on the desk as she asked me if I was alright.

"Mary, leave us. He's fine… get him some Ginger-ale if you want to make yourself useful." I looked up and saw a very tall bald man standing in the large glass doorway, his hands tucked behind his back and his black and white pinstripe suit folded and creased in all the right places.

"Y-yes Mr. Skellington." Mary got up and vanished into a room and Mr. Skellington walked over. He extended his slender, thin hand and I flinched away since the general reaction to most Vancouver adults now is to slap them first and ask questions when your drunk- though I didn't know if he had kids or not to know this fact.

"Hey, just relax, I'm going to bring you into my office so you can sit comfortably… do you want to keep that trash or would the one in my office be alright?" I let go of the pale I'd had a death grip on and allowed him to support most of my weight as I got up and all of it as he picked me up. I struggled for a few moments to get out of his grasp but failed and just went slack since I had no strength left.

I was set down on a black leather couch and a new trash pale was placed in my lap, it scarcely had a piece of paper in it and actually smelled quite fragrant, too bad the fragrant smell made me get sick again.

I flinched again when Mr. Skellington set his hand on my back and rubbed circles, no one had been around when I was sick since my parents, and they'd do the same thing. "You'll be alright… it's just nerves. My men called up and told me about what happened, I'm sure you don't want to be here as it is, so just relax." the feeling was uncomfortable for me as he leaned back into the couch and continued rubbing my back as I tried to regulate my breathing and stop my eyes from watering.

"I have a question… why are you wearing eyeliner?"

"R-R-Reaper. H-his people…pu-pu-put it there." I clenched my jaw and squeezed my eyes shut tight trying to stop the stuttering.

"Oh, alright. If you want, I'll have a car take you back to your place and you can just come tomorrow. I'm sure killing someone is a harsh thing for a kid like-"

"Me? Please… don't pretend like you know me sir. Familiarity isn't something I want with my boss… I'll come, I'll do my job and then I'll leave at the end of the day."

"Well, not knowing me is going to be hard to do since you're going to be my personal assistant."

"Then I'll get inside your head and nothing else." my stomach was still ready to spill all it's contents, but since there were none left to spill I clenched my jaw and stood up so I could get back to Roxas' house- or find him roaming around the city.

"You know… you don't have to hate everything. The world isn't as bad as you make it out to be." I froze at that comment because what the fuck did he know about how cruel the world was? He lived in a penthouse somewhere, he ate caviar and escargot drank the finest wines in the world and traveled whenever he wanted to wherever he wanted.

"I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that." I set the trash pale down on the ground and got up, stuffing my hands into my pockets in the process. The door seemed larger as I walked out since when he'd carried me into the room. Mary handed my a can of Ginger-ale and I took it with a fairly tart thanks, she just smiled and asked me to stop for a moment.

"Here, this if for you Axel. It contains everything you'll need for your job here with us, the phone bill is paid out of your wages since you need one, but the rest of it is a gift from Mr. Skellington to you. Your duties start at six in the morning at the front door when Mr. Skellington walks in." Mary handed me a fairly small briefcase over her counter but as I took it off I could tell that it was packed full because of how heavy it was.

"What, I don't have to wake him up myself?"

"No Axel. Mr. Skellington is actually a very easy man to cater to. Your job will simply be making sure that his papers are distributed to the correct places on time either in the building or around the city. I'll help you with everything until you don't need me anymore. And as for waking him up, he's got a very persuasive wife for that." she gave me a wink and pat my head a few times with a very soft smile before shooing me out the door so I could 'go home and tell my parents' I figured that'd be a better bomb to drop later since the next day I had to go out and get my own apartment- or slum in a dumpster until my first paycheck.

**AN:**

**Me: hello, thank you for reading! #^_^# makes me smile a lot~!**

**Axel: yes, the plot will be starting to pick up a little, and Elizabeth says that if you'd like a vocabulary sheet she'll edit the first chapter and add a vocabulary section to it.**

**Roxas: where am I? and why was Axel stuck in a room for a week, and why did that person try to kill us?**

**Me: the guy was just crazy, and as for Axel being stuck in a room for the week that was more a 'spur of the moment' kinda thing. I don't really have a defined plot for this story.**

**Axel: I know who both the Reaper and Mr. Skellington are… why are they who they are?**

**Me: Because, I wanted to put Jack Skellington into it. And Xigbar's the Reaper because he makes a good pervert (Who else would want to be trapped on a single office building floor with at least a hundred kids?)**

**Sora: please review! We'd all love to hear what you have to say! =^-^=**


	4. Chapter 3

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter 3**

'**The worst is not; So long as we can say "This is the worst".'- William Shakespeare**

I stopped outside Roxas' building, wondering if he'd answer the phone, or the door when I got up. My fingers hesitated before pressing the four numbers that were his apartment and floor; 19-15. He loved the view from the fifteenth floor but apartment nineteen wasn't the best for several reasons- most of which involved his neighbors being drug addicts and dealers.

"Hello?" Ventus, and he sounded bored, so Roxas wasn't home to torment. "I said hello you tosser."

"Shut up and let me in Ventus. I want to get my shit so I can leave." the buzzer went off right away and I jerked the door open harshly since I was getting mad. My feet were heavy as I walked, glaring at every addict and dealer that got in my way, shoving passed the lower-class business men and actually pushing Mr. Bubbles into the wall so he was out of my way after he'd tried to start up a conversation.

"Stupid fucking kid… where the hell is he if he's not back yet? God I cant believe this stupid shit." I clenched my hands together and ground my teeth.

I raised my hand to knock on the door but after the first knock it was opened and Ventus pulled me into the apartment before slamming me up against the wall. "Where is he ya twat! He went out looking for you three days ago so where is he?" so that's why he's high strung; no Roxas to beat up on, no stress relief.

"Like I know. I saw him earlier today for like, two seconds."

"What was he doing?" I looked into his blue eyes and realized they looked nothing like Roxas' in any way. They were a different shade, a different shine, and a different intensity. Ventus was mad as hell and probably ready to throw shit at a fan. So there was going to be no calming him down, I was ready for a fight by then so why not?

"He was running away from a guy with an axe."

"And you didn't help him?" my eyes went wide as I wondered if he actually cared before he slammed his fist into the wall beside me. "Where is the little snot-bugger!" I could smell the stench of marijuana and I realized why he looked so freaked out; he was high.

My eyes followed the line his arm made and I saw the hole in the wall beside my head. I took a moment to wondering how a nine year old kid could punch a hole in the wall, but I was jerked from my thoughts as he punched my stomach with his other hand.

My reflexes kicked in and I punched back before bring my knee up into his stomach. I'd never actually fought Ventus before, certainly not this harshly but as we both threw punches at each other I knew that there was no hope in pulling us apart until we were both satisfied or the other was out cold.

A scream caught my attention and I looked over, being pelted by Ventus over and over as he yelled about me being a stupid Irish twat. "Oh my god! Ventus… who is that boy! Get him out of here!" Ventus took my dumbfounded moment to trip me and kept beating me as I curled into a ball on the ground. "Ventus, Ventus get him out of here!" she sounded so scared and the shrill tone to her voice made me shiver.

"Just die you stupid kid!" that was fairly rich, it would have been richer if Ventus wasn't beating me to death since I was older. Options for me were smaller though so I just took the opportunity and thrust my fist out, hitting his weak spot and hopping up.

I rushed passed his crying form on the ground and into the shared bedroom and grabbed my bag of stuff, making sure it had everything in it before rushing back out into the hallway. Ventus was standing there with his mothers rolling pin and I took a moment to stare at him, wondering only slightly if I should inform him that I'd already killed a man that day.

"Ventus… wha' the fuck are ya gon' do with tha'?" I distinctly remember the Irish accent at that moment because he just scoffed and hammered the rolling pin into his open hand a few times.

"I don't give a shit who you are… because that stupid fucking accent has pissed me off, since the fucking day I met you." he raised the rolling pin and came running at me, but thanks to the many trips I'd taken to his house I knew it like the back of my hand and turned to my left and ran for the far kitchen entrance. Ventus followed and we passed the point where he'd been standing when we came out of the kitchen once again and I ducked out of the front door and down the hall so I could get on the elevator and get the hell out of that place to find Roxas. "Get back here you tosser!"

I looked over my shoulder at Ventus and stopped running when I saw him in the middle of the hallway, screaming, crying, and pounding his fists against the hard floor. "I hate you! I hate you so much!" I got the feeling he was no longer yelling at me and just stuffed my hands in my pockets after securing my backpack to my back. I ducked my head and hunched my shoulders a little as I walked out of the building, deciding to search Stanley Park for Roxas first since a tall tree would make good coverage once night came.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I hadn't been able to find Roxas for two weeks and I was getting worried, I'd been forced to get myself an apartment when Mr. Skellington told me that if I came to work in dirty clothes again that he'd get the Reaper to get me a new job, I'd told him go ahead but he said he'd do worse and just throw me out on the street without my papers- unfortunately I needed those.

"Axel, how was your weekend?" Mary had always been kind, telling me just how to get somewhere and putting it into the GPS in the phone when it was out of the building, she'd even come to my 'apartment' which was really just a room in a building filled with ten year olds and everyone on the one floor shared the bathroom, to make sure I was living alright, but despite working by Robson square I still lived in Gas town, hoping to find Roxas again.

"Uh, fine I guess… didn't sleep much."

"Why not? It doesn't seem like you've gotten much sleep at all, are you feeling alright? You know you can take some sick days if you need to. Mr. Skellington wouldn't mind if you-"

"I don't want Mr. Skellington to give me anything. I've been looking for my friend when I get off work, I just haven't had the time to sleep or go grocery shopping." I plopped down in the seat after handing off the coffee that Mr. Skellington had asked for only ten minutes before hand and Mary took it into him since I'd scarcely spoken to him since our last blow up.

"You know, I could help you if you want me to. I'm sure it cant be that hard. How old is he? Five? He's probably at the local childrens center. So if we-"

"He despises those places. All I know is the las' time I saw him, he was wormin' between the crack in the buildin's in that alley tha' I killed tha' guy in. I haven't seen 'im since and no one seems to care when I ask." Mary was the nosy type, but in most cases it was a good 'I'm only caring' type of nosy, but now she was just getting on my nerves. I curled my legs up to my chest and set my chin on my knees to try and help me think of places he still might be, but I'd already checked everywhere for him and found nothing- he hadn't even gone home!

"Axel, would you mind coming here for a moment?" Mr. Skellington's voice reached my ears from his office and I took a deep breath as I got up and walked in, ready for him to demean me for skipping something stupid in his coffee like peppermint- didn't the shit-head know that it wasn't coffee if a buncha shit was thrown into it?

"Yes Mr. Skellington?" he looked up from the small screen on his desk that doubled as both a TV and computer, he had a slight frown on his face and his cup of crap in his hand; great, he was pissed about the coffee… another run to the coffee shop for me.

"Do you know this boy?" he turned the screen towards me and my eyes went wide as I saw Roxas sitting in the same room I'd been held in when I first entered the building. He looked completely dirty and covered in dried mud, his blonde hair was filled with dirt and mud making it almost black and his face was smudged with dirt, but those eyes, they were sad and scared, but it was Roxas.

Adrenaline rushed through me and before I could answer Mr. Skellington I turned on my heel and rushed to the stairs, knowing I wouldn't be able to just stand still in the elevator. I rode the spiral staircases railing and ran down the twenty stories, when my feet hit the bottom I rushed to the security office, the door was open and the head security guard was holding it.

Three more doors and I burst through them all and froze, Roxas looked so scared and flinched horribly when the sound reached him. Relief flooded my body and I walked over to him, he stood up and met me half way, wrapping his arms around me as I returned the hug.

"You stupid Brit… wha' you think yer doin'? Not bein' anywhere for weeks." he was crying and I let out a sigh as he just soaked my shirt in tears and smeared it in dirt. He truly looked like he'd been buried for the two weeks he'd been gone. "I guess I'll get ma answers later." I was just really, really happy that he was back at the time, my family was whole again- even if he didn't know about my feelings.

"A-Axel… I-I was so scared. When-when you told me to leave!" he trailed off there with a loud wale and I just held his face to my shirt so it'd soak up the tears. I had been dragged to designer stores by Mary and she'd gotten a bunch of 'appropriate' clothes for me, a bunch of suits and business shirts and blazers and I was kind of surprised he recognized me- but I guess my hair and eyes helped with that.

"Relax Roxas… deep breaths." I'd never been the comforter for someone being this scared before. Normally when Roxas had come to me it was just that he was upset because Ventus had beat on him a bit too roughly or that he was upset about their father and had nightmares again, but he'd never been hysterically crying before. All I could remember about situations like this was that rubbing someone's back in slow circles and breathing calmly yourself helped them.

The door opened and I tightened my arms a bit, not raising my head to look at them since I knew I would glare. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off Axel? I'm sure Mary can do what has to be done for a few hours. Go get him cleaned up and I'll see you first thing in the morning." I wanted to turn around and yell at him for being a jackass by letting me leave, but I gave it up and took a deep breath.

"Common Roxas, I've gotta make a stop before I take you back to your-"

"No! P-please don't make me go back! Axel you cant! You cant make me go back, please! Please! Promise me you wont make me go back!" he was looking up at me then, his eyes filled with fear and pain as he shook me by the annoying lapels of my dark blue blazer. I did nothing but nod my head in agreement before leading him out of the security center and towards the main entrance.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

We stopped off at the central post office for all of British Columbia- a business completely overrun by money-grabbing buggers, but it was easier to have a box for mail there then have to keep changing mailing addresses. Roxas had remained fairly silent and I could do nothing but try to smile to cheer him up, pointing out the fact that I might as well be a stuck-up snob and I raised my nose just to prove it, acting like the rich people we always made fun of.

"You know Roxas, you can talk to me about it. I promise I wont take you back to your house." we were waiting in the sky train station and I could see as soon as I took a step towards the waiting train for Gas town as it pulled in he didn't want to come with me. "I got an apartment close to my aunts, I was hoping if I lived around there I'd find you sooner. Didn't do much good though I guess."

Roxas was very wary of the way I walked from then on, if I even looked like I was going towards his house or if I tried to take a route that was too close for his liking he'd stop and I'd have to go a different way to my apartment.

As soon as I opened my door though Roxas bolted into the room and collapsed on my bed, holding my pillow and holding in tears as I got some water boiling in the small kitchen in the room so I could make us some hot chocolate as I offered to make him some Mac and Cheese since I had nothing else. Roxas accepted the offer and I got cooking before bothering to even ask him about why he didn't want to go home since I knew that was a talk much more suited for a rooftop.

"Sorry Roxas, but Imma have ta change… this monkey suite sucks." I pulled the blazer off my shoulders and started pulling the tie off.

"N-no problem… I'm going to try and have a bit of a nap." he burrowed his head into my pillow and before I had gotten my sweat pants pulled up I could hear his light snoring and smiled, it was so easy for him to fall asleep, it was like he had a mental switch.

I'd finished making the Mac and Cheese before waking him up, he was groggy when he started eating, but by the time we finished he was docile and sad again. "Common we're goin' ta the roof." I tapped his shoulder with my hand before walking over to the door and opening it so I could usher him to the roof.

"Hey Axel! How's it going?" I stopped as I saw the girl from across the hall wink at me and just smiled.

"Fine Haley, have a good night." it was odd how the house acted; most of the kids would all open up their door around curfew and say goodnight to each other, most people left me out of it, but Haley always came to my door and would wish me goodnight.

"Aren't you going to be home tonight?"

I motioned for Roxas to walk on as I answered and kept walking myself "Yeah, just going to be a little late for curfew. don't worry though, I wont be caught." I gave her a smirk since it was extremely hard to get passed the building owner once curfew hit and she just rolled her eyes and waved me off in a playful kind of way.

The roof was covered in trash and clothes strewn all over and I walked over to an area I'd cleared with a long stick of all garbage and clothes. Roxas followed me and we sat down on a dry spot just as rain started to fall. "Alright Roxas, no one can hear us, so spill… why don't ya want ta go home?" I watched with analytical eyes as Roxas pulled his knees up to his chest and hugged his legs.

"My-my brother… he attacked me when-when I came home that day. I was crying, and mom had asked why her double vision wasn't working and why one Ventus was crying and the other wasn't. She had a bit of a break and Ventus got mad at me for it. It was just a flurry of attacking me, over and over again he told me that if I ever went back, he'd kill me."

"And ya believe 'im?"

"Of course! You didn't see what he's capable of!"

"Yeah right! He broke the wall right beside ma head Roxas! It was hilarious, we beat up on each other 'til yer mom started screaming tha' I was a stranger." I gave him a smile and it forced one onto his face. "Common, ya always talk'd 'bout leavin' so what's so different now tha' it's happened?"

"I-I guess I'm just scared. I'm scarcely nine Axel. I don't even think ten year olds should be out on their own for heaven sakes."

"Well… this aint Brittan. We leave the nest early, so ta speak. Now c'mon, give a smile and buck up a 'lil. S'not like yer on yer lonesome." he looked at me and I remember that we just stared at each other for a minute or two before both bursting into laughter. The rain had started to fall heavily and we were both getting soaked.

"C'mon, we should go inside, yer gettin' soaked."

"Well… aren't you the one who said I needed a shower?" Roxas lifted his face to the sky so I had grabbed his chin and brought his head down so he'd look at me.

"Yes, in clean water, an' if we're not quick, yer shower'll have ta wait till mornin' thanks to the building owner." I moved my hand from his face to his hand and started a brisk jog back into the building so I could at least throw him into the shower room before curfew so he'd have an excuse if we did get caught.

"Axel… I know this is a lot to ask of you… but, can I live with you. Un-until my tenth birthday at least."

"O' course… I kinda thought tha was obvious." we just shared a smile and I pointed into the bathroom. "The boy's side is blue, you can use the stuff outta my locker, I've got some soap and a towel an' everythin' I'll be out here." Roxas nod his head and walked into the communal washrooms tentatively- but who wouldn't?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It had taken me one more week once Roxas moved in to move myself, I still wasn't close to Robson Square, but I had my own bathroom, and a full kitchenette, two bedrooms and a fairly large living room, it had no furnishings though so we were without furniture until my second paycheck- something the both of us could live with. I bought a bunch of blankets with the rest of the first and second and we just spent our nights together in the smaller room, huddled together under the pile of blankets.

"Axel, do me a favor and bring me Mr. Omashi from the fifth floor… he should know your coming." I popped my head into Mr. Skellington's office and nod to him before heading to the fifth floor- someplace I'd never been before. The elevator ride was fairly long, but I didn't want to use the stairs since my legs were hurting and when I got to the floor I instantly realized that this was an odd floor indeed.

People were walking around with smokes in their hands and bags under their eyes, they were all still wearing suits but it was extremely laidback and I could tell that none of them took their jobs seriously. I looked to a woman who didn't seem to be smoking since it usually gave me a headache and cleared my throat.

"Excuse me ma'am, do you know where a Mr. Omashi is?"

"Get lost kid!" the woman snapped at me and I just rolled my eyes before just turning to find this person on my own.

"Does anyone know where Mr. Omashi can be found?" my voice was fairly loud, but over the clinking of keyboards and the shuffle of papers, all accompanied by the movement of high heels on the polish hard flooring and the several people talking between booths, it just managed to carry.

"Yeah, he's in the back corner." I couldn't tell where the voice came from, so I just thanked the person with the same volume to my voice and started walking towards the back of the room since the person didn't mention which back corner Mr. Omashi was in.

I looked from side to side, but when I noticed a head of blonde hair duck into a cubicle I walked over, not knowing if it was this Mr. Omashi or not. My eyes quickly scanned the name place, informing me that I'd found the right man. "Excuse me, Mr. Omashi, but will you please come with me." he turned around and his pale grey eyes looked at me for a moment before he got up with a sigh, his cigarette smoke fanning over my face, making my eyes water and sting.

I just turned around, leading the way to the office of the building I'd learned quickly that everyone in the building knew was located. Mary's eyes instantly went wide as I held the door open for Mr. Omashi. "Hey Axel.. Can you do me a favor and go do a favor for me?" Mary gave me a large eyed expression, her face close to pleading.

"Alright, what's up?"

"I need you to go down to the corner store and pick something up."

"I already said I'd do it, so what do you want?" I was slightly concerned about what she wanted, but as Mr. Skellington's voice raised in his office my mind was side-tracked.

"I don't care if you don't think it's important to you! I said I needed it by today and that means I need it!" my eyes went wide and I turned my head before Mary snapped me out of it.

"I need you, to get me a bucket of Chocolate-Chippy-Ice-Cream! It's really important because I've got cramps and it's the only thing that makes them stop! Here, take a few silver coins, you can keep what you don't use!" Mary slapped ten silver coins- far too many for even a four gallon bucket -and pushed me into the elevator as the yelling escalated. The last thing I saw was her picking up the phone and dialing as the elevator doors closed.

I was still fairly shocked as I walked through the store at the corner of the street, close to the old Library- a building I liked going to if I ever got the time. I was scrolling through my contacts for the phone in Roxas and mines apartment to ask him if he wanted me to grab him some candy when my shoulder was jostled and the person behind the action grabbed me by the lapels.

"Oi! Hands off!" I dropped the large bucket of ice-cream, causing the lid to pop off and the frozen exposed cream to fall right onto the ground, still in the bucket. "What's yer problem, ya wanker?" I pushed myself out of his grasp and brushed myself off before even looking at the guy.

"Danny… what're you doin' here grabbin' me like tha'!" it was one of the boys I had met in the Reapers Palace (as I learned it was called) and he had actually been an alright guy.

"Well I've been only calling your name for five minutes… the better question is what are you doing calling me a wanker." I just rolled my eyes and scoffed as I picked up the ice-cream bucket to take it up to the front and pay for the soiled bucket before buying another that I could actually give to Mary.

"So, what have you been doing Axel?" I shrugged a bit and pulled my phone out again.

"Can you just give me a second? I've got to call my roommate."

"You have a roommate? Oh, is it Jenn?"

"Nah, haven't even talked to her since the Reapers Palace. I doubt I'll see her again really."

"Harsh. Alright… I'll wait." I nod my head and hit the first number before raising the phone to my ear and waiting for Roxas to pick up, hoping he was there.

"Hello? You've reached the-"

"It's me Roxas. I'm at the store, do you want any candy while I'm here?"

"Yes! Oh my god, I'd love some! I haven't had sugar-snaps in so long! And zippy-doo's!"

"Alright, sugar-snaps and zippy-doo's… anything else?"

"No… but you shouldn't have to buy me candy Axel… I already feel bad about you having to buy everything for me, and don't we have to save money for the second bed?"

"Nah, we're good Roxas. I'll be home around the normal time with your candy, and if the land lord comes by for rent can you tell her I'll wire it from my account?"

"Alright, do you want me to call you back if he does?"

"Nah, I'll do it once I get back to a computer- anyhow, I'll see you later. Bye."

"Bye Axel." he hung up first since I always waited for the dial tone, once the tone hit my ears I flip the phone shut and stuff it into my pocket.

"So… Roxas, who's he?" I looked at Danny with a smile and turned up the Candy isle.

"First friend I made in Canada. His mom's crazy an' he's been mistaken for his twin brother ever since they were born, it doesn't help that his brother hates his guts." Danny nodded his head and he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "What've you been up to?"

"Oh, nothing much, I got a class B job license, kinda peeved about it since all I've got is a stupid runner job. You're probably doing some kind of fantastic job training in that suit."

"Yeah right. I'm a personal assistant to Mr. Skellington… not fantastic or fun. I'm here for his secretary right now. And trust me, I'd rather have a class B. I wanted to be a river rider."

"Ouch, no thanks. That's the job Henry got… didn't you hear about what happened to him?" I shook my head negatively, not knowing but having a bad feeling about what might have happened.

"He fell in training, got crushed and surfaced a week later… he was missing his right arm and left foot, it was horrendous." I shivered for Henry, he'd been an alright guy- everyone that wasn't a giggling squealing girl was alright actually.

I opened my mouth to make a comment but my phone rang and I picked it up. "Hello? Axel here."

"Why aren't you in the office?"

"Mary sent me to the store for-"

"I don't care what she sent you for. You're my assistant and I didn't tell you to leave. Get your ass back here right now you stupid ingrate." I could hear crying in the background and heard Mr. Skellington snap at the crying woman before the line cut.

"Uh, I've gotta go, I think I might have just gotten fired."

"Alright, here, I'll give you my number." Danny reached for my hand but I pulled it out of his grasp.

"Forget it, I've gotta go, how 'bout you meet me here tomorrow around five PM?"

"Alright, see you then." I gave Danny a curt nod of my head before stuffing my phone into the breast pocket of my jacket and rushing out of the store, completely forgetting to pay for Roxas' sugar-snaps and zippy-doo's.

The ride up the elevator was nerve wracking as I bounced in the spot, wondering why the hell he was so pissed at me and why it had sounded like Mary was crying.

The door opened and I saw a bunch of men dressed in white in his office, all walking around with scrub brushes before the glass wall once again turned black and Mr. Skellington, sitting on the waiting room sofa caught my attention.

Red splatter was the first thing I noticed as I looked at him, the while under shirt of his suit was splattered in red as he sat there, a scowl on his face. "I need you to go to my house for me and grab my second suit."

"Why didn't you just tell me over the phone?" I still hadn't caught my breath and he just shrugged.

"I didn't feel like it." I ground my teeth together and rolled my shoulders before letting out a sigh.

"Where is your house?" Mr. Skellington rambled off an address and I quickly put it into the GPS of the phone and got back into the elevator so I could get to Mr. Skellington's house and back as soon as possible.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I hadn't even gotten to his street before my phone went off and I picked it up, expecting an angry Mr. Skellington to be yelling at me, asking what was taking so long. "Hello, you have Axel here."

"Axel… why the sad voice? Are you unhappy with your current job?"

"At the exact moment, I'll never be happy, I hate being the stupid desk-jockey I am." I refused to tell the Reaper that I also didn't have enough money to actually keep a roof over Roxas' head and food on the table at the same time since I knew that I already had to downsize to a single bedroom apartment- something I'd already talked to the land lord about and he'd been willing to agree to.

"Really? Well, I guess you'll love me then." the Reapers voice was playful but I just ignored his tone as best I could and scoffed.

"Yeah right, I doubt that. But go on."

"How rude! Anyhow, I got you a new job… it doesn't pay as well, but it's the best-paying job I can get you right now in your Class grade. So, so, so, do you love me or not?"

"Just give me a location and the time I start."

"Tomorrow morning, Broadway and Kingsway, thirtieth floor of the white building."

"Alright, thank you… when do I quit my current job?"

"It's already been done, go home and sleep, your sift starts at five." I let out a sigh and hung up without a pleasantry. And let out a sigh on the bus, I guess I should have taken Danny's number, but at the same time, he was just another guy.

**AN:**

**Me: alright, I hope this is an alright Chapter… this is the best I can do with it at the moment though (So please don't hate me)**

**Axel: wow… I don't have enough money? But, I got a class A license.**

**Me: yes, you did… but the Reaper is being mean to you and only acting like he's being nice.**

**Axel: that bitch! Where the hell is Xigbar? I'll kick his scrawny little ass to a pulp!**

**Me: wow… cool down there a bit Axel, it's not like your not going to taste your share of flesh. You just have to wait, for the opportune moment.**

**Roxas: I'm the stupid ditsy kid this time? What's with that, I thought I was your favorite!**

**Me: nope! That'd be Axel (From Kingdom Hearts at least) who doesn't love a good pyromaniac?**

**Sora: thank you all for reading, and we'd all love to hear what you have to say about this chapter and story thus far in general! Reviews make us all smile a lot. Have a good day! Y'all come back now ya' here?**


	5. Chapter 4

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Four**

'**An eye for an eye would make the whole world blind.'- Mahatma Gandhi**

I'm not sure how long I was in the dead-end job the Reaper had set up for me, it was horrible hours, and according to him, since I didn't have any schooling it was the best I could do since I couldn't balance numbers or anything- some luck with having a class A license, right?

"Well, then give me a class B and I'll get some schooling done too!" I'd given him that riot a lot and I knew that it was wearing him thin, but he still wouldn't budge, he said I made enough to go to school, but I didn't make enough to support two people and go to school so my hands were tied- plus he never considered my hours sucked worse then my pay.

The one bedroom apartment was much easier on my budget, but Roxas still needed things like clothes, and shoes, I still needed clothes and shoes. I let out a groan from the post office as I stuck the key to my mailbox into the slot and pulled out the three letters: my satellite bill, my phone bill, and my check that would most likely not cover both bills, rent and food.

I rolled my shoulders as I walked down the street, all the stuff I needed in the messenger bag that my newest boss had insist I use for all my items. "Excuse me son, but would you happened to know where I could find a young boy by the name of Axel O'Riley?" my eyes went wide and I turned around so I was looking into acid green eyes.

I shivered once I realized that the two sets of acid green eyes belonged to the two most known Leaches in all of BC: most people called them 'the Things'.

"I wouldn't know… who is that?" I kept my bag clutched to my side and kept walking, making sure that nothing was in my way and if it was that I pushed the 'something' to the side.

"Yeah, he's about five feet tall, got red hair like a fire truck, green eyes, and he's always glaring." I shrugged my shoulders and just kept walking. The Things had been bugging me for the last few days, telling me that if I just went to work for the Grimm that all my money troubles would be over and I'd have enough to keep paying for Roxas too, that I could even send him to school and get a schooling of my own. But I knew what and who the Grimm was, and I refused to go into that line of work. I could handle being called a tosser, but actually being one, that was an unthinkable suggestion to a proud Irish citizen such as myself.

"Sorry, I don't know anyone who looks like that to be honest." a hand came down on my shoulder and I spun around, punching my free hand into the Things stomach while the other smacked the side of my head and I dropped my bag for the fight.

Arms and legs were thrown everywhere on my part, either blocking attacks or attacking. Three minutes in and they let me go and took a few steps back.

"Bring it ya fuckin' bitches! I've had a really bad day and I want some stupid-ass to kick the shit out of. So which one of you is first?" I hadn't noticed until that point that they both had broken noses and were holding various parts of their bodies.

"Just remember kid… the Grimm's offer is still standing; his door is always open to good boys like you." the Things gave me a smirk and nothing else before turning and leaving.

At least fifteen of those encounters since I started working, how the hell could I remember how many times they'd approached me but I couldn't remember how long I'd been actually working? God, my head was so messed with what to do and how to do it.

I wasn't stupid, I knew I couldn't really count on Roxas getting a good class of license since- to be frank -he was kind of slow and very innocent. I hadn't helped by shielding him from that kind of information, but he was just too innocent for the small things like that.

"Axel! You're home!" I was tackled once I walked through the door and pushed against it because I was taken by surprise. "I'm so happy!" I was confused as to why he'd be so happy by my return since I hadn't been gone longer then normal.

"Uh… alright. I'm happy I'm home too?" his arms were still around my neck and his face obscured from my view.

"You've been out longer then normal!" no I wasn't. I waited a moment before looking up at the clock, I was three minutes late because of the stupid- oh, the Things. He must have seen that happen down in the street from the balcony, did he sit there all day watching the clock for me?

"Well, I'm sorry… I had a bit of business to take care of."

"Wh-what about those guys down in the street?"

"Nothing to worry about." Roxas let me go and I let out a sigh of relief as I was allowed to breathe again, I was completely botched and just wanted to sleep. "Hey, I'm going to turn in early, I've had a long day." my boss had had me running all over the city for him doing odd things and my legs hurt.

"Oh, alright… do you want me to make you… anything?" I stopped, realizing that he was still horrible in the kitchen.

"Uh, no, I'll make some food first. What do you want?"

"Um, can we just have something really easy?"

"Alright, actually, there are hot dogs in the fridge, buns on the counter… I'll let you do it Roxas, I'm just too tired. But let me know when you come to bed alright?" Roxas nod his head in agreement and I vanished into the bedroom and changed into my boxers and tank top before passing out.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Four more months, the Things bugged me constantly and my head pounded and legs throbbed. Every day I woke up before five in the morning, ran around until seven at night, then hopped on a train and came home to Roxas trying his best at cooking- he was actually getting good.

Unfortunately the small trust I'd built up while working for Mr. Skellington was dwindling and I was really out of money, and no matter what job Roxas got, we'd have to move back into a one room house with a communal bathroom again.

"So Axel… do you know what day it is tomorrow?" I knew exactly what Roxas was suggesting, but I had nothing special for his birthday to give him… the one time of the year I always made sure was special for him and I had nothing to give him since I had to work and there was no way out of it.

"No… what's tomorrow."

"It's only my favorite day of the whole year!" he looked so happy, too happy since it just made that statement actually sting as I heard it.

"Really? Since when does Christmas come in October?" now in October I had heard from a bunch of stories and books that most kids would be screaming about Halloween, but that tradition had stopped a long time before either of us were born, one of those things that just died out over time in our new world I guess.

"No… common, you know what I'm talking about. Don't make me say it." he smiled at me and I just winked, knowing he'd say it anyhow.

"I really don't know what your talking about Roxas… is it important?" I raised an eyebrow and let out an exasperated sigh before flopping down onto the bed beside me.

"It's my birthday! Surprise!" Roxas gave me a wide smile and I returned it, wondering what to do for the special occasion that night since he'd be whisked off to the Reapers Palace the next day.

"So, for the occasion do you want to go to the park and hang out for the night, or just hang out here?"

"I wouldn't mind staying in… to be honest I think I might go for a walk on my own. I uh, have to think of a few things." I raised an eyebrow but stood up as it were.

"Don't worry about it, I have to go check the mail, I'll be back in a few hours… do you want me to make dinner before I go?" Roxas shook his head and I nod in return before stuffing my hands into my pockets and turning to the door and heading out. His attitude had never changed that much before, not like being bipolar at least.

The streets were filled with people, some kids stilled carved pumpkins but other then that and dressing up to look stupid, Halloween had really turned into an adult thing. Women would go into clothing stores and come out with skimpy outfits, then they'd go home and spend the day or night with their husbands or boyfriends.

"Hey Axel… what're you doing out here all on your lonesome?" I stopped and turned my head to the right to see only one of the Things; Vexen, walking towards me. His long blonde hair was down over his shoulders in three precise locks, two in front of his shoulders on either side of his head, the third being the rest of his hair behind his back.

"Fuck off." I clenched my fists in the pockets of the white blazer I'd gotten back at the Reapers Palace almost a year before, I hadn't worn the outfit since my last day there to going for my walk to give Roxas privacy. My fingers brushed something in the left pocket and I wrapped my fingers around it, trying to figure out what it was.

"Awe, don't be like that Axel… I just wanted to talk. The Grimm has been very curious about you…even lady Jenn has been asking about you recently." my blood ran cold at that moment; Jenn, how the hell could she remember me? The one person I didn't want to remember me did? Life hated me, better yet; the world hated me. Vexen walked faster to make it to my side as I walked, trying my best to not touch him in the slightest as I walked.

"So, you remember lady Jenn… she has so many questions for you Axel. One of them being why you haven't even _TRIED_ to talk to her. She almost broke down into tears last night because of it." I raised an eyebrow and looked at the other green eyed person with a glare.

"And why should I care? I don't need her around."

"You see… you don't get a choice anymore Axel. Around the next corner is a few people who are going to tell you a few things, and you really should listen to what they have to say." my eyes went wide and I tried to stop in my tracks, but something hitting my back brought me to the realization that I was surrounded by fairly large adult men, and that I wasn't getting an option.

I was ushered around the corner despite the fact I'd tried to dodge around the people and slide between the tall men's legs, but nothing worked and before I knew it I was stuffed into the back of a car. "Oi! Let me out!" I made for the door but it slammed shut, to my surprise the car didn't start to move right away.

"Axel, calm down… we're not going anywhere, I promise you." I froze since I hadn't noticed that someone else was in the back of the vehicle. I slowly turned my head to the side and I'm pretty sure my heart stopped at who I saw: this man had been on the news a few times as Xemnas, but he was more commonly called the Grimm. "Just remain calm and listen to us for a moment please."

My eyes darted to the other two people in the back of the vehicle: a blue haired man with an X scar on his face, his eyes were a piercing amber. And a girl who looked younger then me; short blonde hair slicked back with gel and two wisps flying back, the brightest pair of aqua eyes I'd seen since Jenn.

"You obviously seem to know who I am, so lets get right down to this Axel: I want you to come work for me- and before you interrupt I'll give you some conditions or terms I think you'll find wonderful for your needs." I remained silent since I couldn't speak, my throat was far too dry for even attempting speech I sat down, my back to a corner so I could keep an eye on all of them and a glare on my face.

"I am willing to give you fifteen percent of everything you earn doing business, and since I will buy all of your food, take care of all your medical, and even give you adequate lodging. This isn't a deal I make to all my employees though, you will be allowed certain privileges as well." that all sounded well and dandy for a Kicker, but I wasn't about to be one of those. If I wasn't around how the hell would I be able to take care of Roxas? I knew he wasn't going to get a good job from the Reaper, and if the Reaper really wanted me to be the next, why the hell did he put me in a shitty job so I'd have no other options, because unless I wanted to put both Roxas and I out on the street, this offer is one I'd have to take.

"Now, before you go thinking that fifteen percent is going to be a horrible sum, I'll show you how much a boy around your age makes in the business, and how much fifteen percent of that is." I glared at Xemnas as he scrawled out a few numbers on a piece of paper and then handed it to me, and my jaw dropped seeing the sum of numbers just in the fifteen percent section.

Most boys my age were paid twenty gold coin an hour, and since there weren't a lot of boys my age in the business that made it all the better, but fifteen percent didn't sound good enough for me to be honest, he'd been after me for years. I had to take the job, I knew that… but I could make negotiations of my own couldn't I?

My skin crawled as I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off. "You know, we've also had our eyes on the cutest little British blonde, he lives fairly close, I'm sure you know him. Does the name Roxas Michaels ring a bell for you, Axel? Because I'm sure he'll have very few options. Oh, so many people would pay for him though, imagine it Saïx, how many people do we have in our lists that give their right arm for a piece of that." I watched as he looked over to the blue haired man and I saw the blonde girl smile evilly.

"You know what Xemnas, we shouldn't be wasting our time with this kid, why don't we just go right to the source and get the blonde?"

"I'll do it! But I have conditions!" Xemnas looked over with the widest shit-eating grin I'd ever seen and I wanted to rip it right off his face. I'm not too sure how long I waited before giving my conditions, but I had to think everything out clearly: Irish accents were harder to come by then British, red hair was more exotic then blonde (Especially my shade of red), green eyes were harder to come by then blue. In the looks department I was winning out over Roxas in all honesty, but my will to say no was stronger then his would ever be and he'd be lost in a Boggle. I wanted enough money for Roxas to go to school and not have to worry about working himself, and I wanted to make sure they NEVER went after him. If I could do all this and make him safe too, then I could die satisfied.

"Really? Well Axel, name your price and we'll match it." Xemnas reminded me in that moment of a mountain lion, his amber eyes almost daring me to go over the top with my conditions.

"I want twenty percent for starters." he glared a bit but nod his head anyhow "I want my own room, none of this 'sharing space' I've heard about, and I want a four poster bed." Xemnas nod his head again and I took a deep breath to keep going on. "I want some kind of access to education, I refuse to be a stupid whore." Xemnas nod his head.

"Of course, Vexen will teach you himself. He is one of the brightest minds in-"

"No, I don't want a pervert to do it and I don't want to have to screw my teacher." Xemnas glared and folded his arms over his chest.

"You wont have to service him- ever -but he will be your teacher if you want one. Lessons will be done in a localized area of the house and you will not be alone in a room with him, are those fine conditions?"

"Alright, their good enough. My last condition is one I want in writing though: you will NEVER go after Roxas. He will remain untouched by your grubby hands- literal or metaphorical. He will never be pulled into one of your Boggles and you will never pursue him again."

Xemnas took a lot longer to respond this time, the blonde girl who I still didn't know the name of had fallen asleep long before he spoke, and I could tell that even Saïx was starting to get really tired. The sun had risen a while ago and I even started to guess that Roxas had gone with the Collectors already for the Reapers Palace.

"I suppose those are fair enough terms… though you could have worded the last one better. I under stand that I am to leave him alone yet call him my property if others try to pursue him?" I nod my head and he let out a sigh, opening his eyes after the long time they'd been closed. "I agree to your terms Axel… but we'll have to give you another name I suppose."

"No, I want to keep my name." changing it again would just be too much of a hassle and I really didn't need more of a hassle. "Am I allowed to go home for an hour to gather my things?"

"Of course… Luxord will go with you though, he'll be your respected Wolf… and when I say respected I mean your not to disrespect him. He will not touch you though, I promise." I clenched my jaw and nod my head as I crawled out of the car.

"Oh, and one other thing Xemnas… if I learn that Roxas gets into anything like this, I'll take my reconciliation payment in your blood." Xemnas just smiled as I slammed the door shut and watched the car silently pull out of the alley.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It was so early in the morning that rarely any people were out, but I didn't miss the black Bentley that drove down the street, Roxas' face in the window, brightening when he saw me standing at the mouth of the alley. Tears wanted to come to my eyes when I saw him start to hit the window and yell, but what he was yelling I didn't hear as I watched the car go down the street before turning.

"So… I'm guessing that was Roxas?" I turned my head to the side and looked up at the tall blonde man, his hair was cropped short and he had a goatee, as well as a piercing in his left ear, he looked bored but at the same time I could see the sympathy in his face.

"None of your business, how long do I have before I have to be wherever?" I stuffed my hands back into my pockets and pulled out that thing I'd gotten a year before in the envelope from the Reaper. It looked like a necklace, two red Chakrams on the end and my eyes went wide as I saw the circular disks: they had been a matching set my parents wore back in Ireland: how he got them I had no idea, but I wanted to suddenly make his head roll.

I grabbed one to check for the inscription and there it was: Love is the eternal fire. I grabbed the other and finished the phrase they'd split between them: That burns in every human.

My parents had been completely optimistic about the world, and that people were good. But they never really left our village in Ireland, so they wouldn't really have known.

I turned towards my apartment building, putting the chain around my neck and starting the walk that I didn't want to take. Luxord remained silent and I figured he'd just let me know when we had to leave. I didn't even want to try and run away since Roxas was in with the Reaper.

I put my key into the front door and allowed Luxord to follow me inside, the elevator ride was quiet and I decided to ignore my neighbors as they tried to talk to me, asking who Luxord was.

I opened the apartment door with a loud creak as always and walked inside, ushering Luxord in behind me and pointing to the kitchen. "I don't have any where to really sit, but there is a counter in the kitchen." I walked right into the bedroom and grabbed out my backpack before starting to stuff it with my clothes. My nerves were on end as I packed up, making sure that I had my parents picture and the stuffed animal they'd given me. For a few minutes I stood in the fairly empty living room, trying to remember where a paper and pen where so I could leave Roxas some kind of note. "Think, think, think…where did I- oh! The kitchen!"

My feet moved quickly into the kitchen and I grabbed the thick notepad with multi colored papers and the pen. "Leaving a note?"

"That seems to be what it looks like, doesn't it?" I set the pad down in front of me and let out a sigh, trying to think of what to write him. I tossed the pen down beside the pad and ground my teeth together as I turned away from it and ran my hands through my hair.

"Care to just explain to him what's going on? Or would you rather just cut all ties?"

"Hell no! I'm not cutting my ties with him, if anything I'm going to break into the Reapers Palace and say goodbye." I turned so I could see Luxord and he just nod his head. He seemed to be a vary calm man, always having his arms crossed over his chest or a pack of playing cards that looked personalized in his hands.

"Then… tell him what's going on. That your doing this for him." I raised an eyebrow at him as I hopped up into the counter beside the notepad and pen, trying to decipher what he meant and how he knew that I did it to keep Roxas safe. "Please, it's no secret. The minute you walk through the doors to the Boggle you'll already be a hero. Xemnas has been trying to get his claws into you since Halifax, unfortunately… he found Roxas and a loophole. He finds weaknesses is everyone, and he digs his claws into the weaknesses. Most people are in Boggles because they're addicted, or because they have no other options and figure it's a way to keep on living. But you; you are the first person, going into that Boggle because you are in love with someone and you're not letting them get hurt. You're the first who's not being selfish."

I looked at Luxord, seeing that he was looking right at me, his fairly light blue eyes holding sorrow that I couldn't tell the origin of.

"I have to write this letter." I ground my teeth together and slid off the counter and picked up the pen again. The words were coming out of my head faster then they could be written down, but I'm pretty sure I got my message across:

_'Dear Roxas, I'm sorry about this, but I wont be coming back. I'm going away to make some money, I'll send it to the mail box when I get it for you. You've already promised me that you'd accept any gift I gave you, so don't reject it! There are a few things I want you to do with it though: go to school. Promise me you'll go get an education- and a damn good one. No matter what class of license you come back with. Another thing is I want you to move somewhere nicer and more comfortable, __there should be more then enough for you to live off of it and go to school at the same time, but I'm begging you, more then anything, to stay safe._

_ 'I'm sure that in the Reapers Palace you've had to deal with your brother, and I'm sorry for the fact that I'm not here to support you and make you feel better- I should be and there is no forgiving that. But I have just one more thing to tell you Roxas: I love you. And I don't mean as a little brother or as a friend, I am in love with you. There might be a day when I'll be able to come back, but I make no promises.' _I let out a sigh as I finished writing, I set the pen down and rubbed the back of my neck and head to calm myself.

My hands fumbled and shook as I put the letter into an envelope and sealed it shut. "So… are you ready to go?" I looked over at Luxord and steeled myself once I remembered he was there.

"I was born ready." I grabbed my bag and set the envelope on the counter, glad that the black envelope contrast so well with the white counter top. I debated for a moment on setting my cell phone down, on the counter, I stood there holding it for a moment before Luxord took it and set it down on top of the envelope.

"Xemnas will just take it when you get there. So there is no point in giving him hope." I just shrugged and left it there, even though I wanted to cry and grab it again. "I know how you feel, but it's better to just cut ties and leave." Luxords voice sounded far off as I moved towards the front door. But I wasn't cutting my ties, I was loosening them sure, but that letter, what I was going to do with the money, what I told Roxas; that wasn't cutting ties that was trying to keep them, wasn't it?

As soon as the door was locked and closed, I slid the key under the door and let out a deep breath I'd been holding in. I already missed him, writing those words in that letter killed me, every letter had killed me a little more so as I walked down the fairly dingy hallway with Luxord behind me I felt completely numb. And numb was just what I wanted.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The car ride had been long, but the windows were as black at night making it impossible to see anything outside. For a while I knew where we were but I soon lost it and just sat back in the seat, flipping through the hard rock radio stations until Luxord got a call and the radio was turned off. "Sorry… Xemnas' orders."

"So… what's yer back story? Why are you so sympathetic towards me?" Luxord just gave a sidelong smile as he flipped a few cards onto the small table in the back compartment of the car.

"I am whatever you want me to be. I was a behavior specialist, if I feel like you need someone to be sympathetic then I'll be that person, if you need someone to be cold, I'll be cold."

"Well… then you've read me wrong. I don't need friends, I was better off without them." Luxord just scoffed before tossing another card down.

"No you don't, you need one. And it'll be me, that's how Xemnas wants it."

"Just because Xemnas wants something, doesn't mean he's going to get it you know."

"Really? Then tell me: why did he get you?" I glared at him before just allowing myself to fall silent, crossing my arms over my chest and closed my eyes so I could just relax and maybe catch a few winks of shut eye. "You haven't answered me yet."

"I'm not going to answer you, unless a fist in your face counts."

"Fair enough, but for the record: I grew up in this lifestyle. I've had no choice but to live this way my whole life. I've been a Wolf since I was ten."

"Why'd that be?"

"Because I was sold into it. My parents needed cash, they figured sending me to the Grimm was the best and easiest way to get it." I just raised an eyebrow, not really caring if he went on or not.

"Hey Axel, wake up." I flinched awake when a hand was clenched on my shoulder and I was shaken. I thrust my fist out and it made contact right away with Luxord's jaw. "Ow! Fuck! What the bloody hell was that for?"

"Oh… sorry." I was groggy as I rubbed at my eyes, but the glass of the car's windows was clear again and all I could see was that we were somewhere with a lot of green. "Wh-where are we?"

"The Boggle to which you'll be staying. I'm sure that Xemnas will give you the rules of the house later, if not I'll give them to you tonight." I nod my head and followed him out of the back seat, making sure that my bag was clutched to my chest so I kept everything with me.

"Luxord, Xemnas wants to see you and Axel in the drawing room right now. I'll take his bags to his-"

"No. I'm keeping it with me."

"Alright. Luxord knows the way." Saïx jabbed his thumb behind him and allowed Luxord and I to walk towards the house.

It was completely deserted as Luxord lead the way through the house, for a moment I almost expected for people to stop me and strip me so they could remake me again, but they didn't. Luxord walked into the room and sat down in a chair in the corner of the room and I sat down across from Xemnas who was seated in his huge leather chair.

"So, Axel… I'm guessing your wondering what's going to be going on."

"Not really. I understand the gist of what happens in Boggles, I might be a kid, but I'm not stupid." he just smirked a bit and wove his fingers together before placing his hand under his chin, an evil expression on his face.

"Well then… I suppose we should discuss a very important thing: your first customer." my entire body froze as I gave Xemnas an icy glare as he pulled out a binder and smacked it down on the desk in front of him. "Your clients can start off coming out of this book until you become able to find your own clients… but as for your first client, there is a man who has informed us that he'd pay very high to be your first client."

I could feel a grip like ice holding me and I shivered, just hoping that I'd be able to block the experience out of my mind. "I assure you that the gentleman isn't odd in the slightest, he's actually been a customer of mine for a while, so he is one of those people I would trust with a first night. So you go with Luxord and get all cleaned up, he'll give you the general rules of the house and then you'll meet your first customer." the smile on his face made me want to take it all back, if I was going to be stuck around perverted men the rest of my life for just one moment, I thought I'd rather die. The thought of Roxas stopped all of that though, and I just stood up and followed Luxord out of the drawing room that looked more like an office.

**AN:**

**Me: wow… this chapter was probably a little darker then I usually do, but the next chapter is even more so.**

**Axel: holly shit… you just made me a whore! No amount of having an accent that you don't even write in can make up for that Elizabeth!**

**Roxas: oooooohhhh, he used your full name, he must be mad.**

**Me: I don't care, because if he's got a big problem with it, I'll kill him and give the story to someone else.**

**Axel: you wouldn't do that, you love me too much.**

**Me: I might not kill you… but I'll switch to Roxas' point of view- and don't think I wont.**

**Axel: YOU MADE ME A WHORE! How am I supposed to deal with that?**

**Me: on your back with your legs spread?**

**Axel: I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!**

**Me: but you cant… you're really just a pigment of my imagination.**

**Sora: I'm going to cut in while they duke it out- though I'm sure you'd all love to hear that -thank you for reading and we'd all love to hear what you have to say. So, drop a review and have a good day!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Five**

'_**Never seem more leaned then the people you are with. Wear your learning like a pocket watch and keep it hidden. Do not pull it out to count the hours, but five the time when you are asked.'**_**- Lord Chesterfield.**

I was ushered upstairs and as I walked down the hall, only three paces behind Luxord my eyes steeled themselves again when I saw the doors crack open ever so slightly and I could see other fairly small children, even some who looked much younger then me at the time.

"Luxord, where am I going?"

"To be prepped. You'll also undergo 'tagging' basically their going to pierce your ear a few times." I glared at the back of his head, wishing that I could will it to set itself on fire- even though he hadn't actually done anything to me himself. The person I really, desperately wanted to get my hands on was the Grimm… it was all his fault that I had to do this, because he threatened to do the same to Roxas. And I just couldn't live with that.

"And why, am I going to have to get my ear pierced?"

"It's either that or a tattoo, but piercing is favorable for younger people since you can take them out at night and stuff like that." I clenched my jaw as Luxord opened a door and motioned for me to go in.

White is the only word I could think of at the time; it was insanely bright and everything was polished white, either tile or marble- there was even some silver. A team of five males and five females were standing there in a line, their hands behind their backs and ghostly smiles on their faces. "I'm guessing washing myself would be unacceptable?" I turned my eyes up to Luxord and he didn't look at me as he shook his head.

"Awe… he's so cute! I could just eat him right up!" one of the women with fairly short auburn hair that fell to just above her shoulders came over and wrapped her arms around me. My first instinct was to get her off of me- no matter what it took -so with a growl I pushed her off, not caring that my hands had fallen on my breasts when I did it, and I certainly didn't care that I bit her when she came back for a second hug.

"Tape his mouth shut and get on with it. Bind his arms and legs if you must." my eyes went wide when I turned my head and saw the Grimm standing in the entrance to the glorified bathroom, a smirk on his face and his amber eyes making me want to shiver.

I was grabbed by close to all the people as they started to strip me. My heart start to beat like a wild animals, my limbs struggling to get away and hands were placed on me and my clothes were very literally ripped off of my body. Once all my clothes were removed I was restrained to the point where I could scarcely breathe, hands were on my ankles and wrists, my hips and shoulders, even my head had a hand gripped onto my flaming red hair as the Grimm walked up and grabbed my lower jaw in his hand and leaned forward so his lips were by my ear.

"Our deal only stands… if you cooperate, Axel." I felt him lick the shell of my ear and shivered as he let me go and ordered the team to finish prepping me, saying something about 'give him three when he's done' as well as mumbling 'the shot' to that Vexen guy. I steeled my emotions and kept my body fairly taut as they moved me with only little difficulty around the bathroom and into a shower where they scrubbed my hair, not believing me when I said my hair color was natural thanks to the slightly darker roots- but all hair has darker roots.

I already felt violated and I wasn't even out of the shower, their hands were still trailing over my body in tight circle patterns, scrubbing away what I'm sure they thought was dirt but was really just tanned skin. No part of my body was off limits to them and they made sure to take advantage of it, cloth's were used everywhere and after a few minutes one of them even stuffed a toothbrush into my mouth to 'brush my teeth' though I'm sure they just wanted me to stop complaining- who wouldn't fucking complain if you were getting a cloth practically shoved up your ass?

Once I was 'thoroughly cleaned' the ten people let me go and I dashed out of the shower and hid behind Luxord- maybe not the best place, but it was better then standing out in the open where the perverts could see me. "Here." Luxord handed me a towel and I took it and wrapped it around my waist faster then I probably ever had before. "C'mon, your clothes are already laid out on your bed. Vexen is going to meet us there for a few minutes."

My feet stopped moving and Luxord stopped too. "It's my job to make sure no one touches you if Xemnas doesn't want them to. Vexen wont touch you." that didn't help in the slightest, especially if I still had to have the creep touch me. With a glare back on my face and my hands clenched at my sides I followed Luxord to my room, a fairly large door at the end of the hallway with Roman Numerals for 8: VIII in gold plates. I'd seen other numbers, but none of them had been in gold… it didn't help knowing he was singling me out in a higher-standing kind of way.

"Welcome to your room Axel, please get changed so I can get to work." Vexen was sitting on a plush looking sofa, an open briefcase beside him letting me get a glimpse of vials and needles.

"Yeah right Vexen… give him his shot and the piercings then get out. You're the last one Xemnas wants touching him." Luxord sounded angered and I took a moment to look up and saw the scowl.

"Awe… but he's so cute, it's not like I want to fuck him. I just want him to give me a blow job." I turned my eyes back on Vexen with a glare, I might not have known what that was, but I could pretty much guess it was sexual of some kind and would involve having to touch him.

"Give him his shot, and fuck off. I could always go get Saïx, I'm sure he'd love to hear that you want to touch Axel here… neither he nor Xemnas would be too happy about- damn how did they put it- oh, right: 'Vexen spoiling another good one' yeah, I'm sure those were their words."

"Fine. Get over here brat." I stalked over and sat down on the other side of the brief case. He pulled a vile out of the case and filled a needle with a blue tinted liquid. "And what prêt ell is that?" I turned my glare from the floor to him and he let out a sigh.

"It's a solution of antibodies that will prevent you from getting any diseases. It does shit-all if you've got them already, but it stops your body from receiving any STD's because it infuses all your cells with a 'rejecting serum' as I call it. Kind of like a rubber ball meeting the ground, it just bounces off of you." I watched warily as Vexen leaned over and stuck the needle into my upper arm and injected the solution into my muscles. A moment passed of dizziness and a slight 'I'm going to hurl' feeling, but it passed fairly quickly.

"Alright, now, right or left ear?"

"What?"

"For the piercings, which ear do you want them in?" his voice sounded creepy as it were, add on the fact he sounded like he was explaining something to a two year old and you had pedophile of the whole fucking year.

"Right."

"Are you aware getting a piercing in that ear labels you as-"

"Gay? Yes I'm aware of it. You got a fucking problem?"

"Of course not… just making sure you know." he bit his bottom lip as he leaned over with a purple pen in his hand, the ink was fairly cold on my flesh thanks to the boiling shower that'd made me pink. There was going to be one on my lobe, one of my helix and one on the most outward part of my ear between the two- I don't know what it's called, so sue me.

Once the three dots were in place Luxord walked over and tilted my head to examine it. "Move the middle one closer to the bottom, it's too centralized." Vexen nod his head and wiped the dot off with the pad of his thumb and I bit of spit, and that action alone made me want to hurl.

Vexen drew another dot on my ear and Luxord dubbed it perfect placement. My head was tilted, my ear was sterilized- I wondered how the hell he could do that without wiping off the dots, but decided not to bother the person with a piercing gun pointed to my right ear lobe.

The pain was immense for a moment and I couldn't hold in the hiss of pain as I grit my teeth together. The next one hurt even more and I fisted my hands in the plush cushion of the sofa as he lined up the last shot. The pain made me scream and I'm pretty sure he reveled in the sound since all I heard from him was a groan and chuckle.

"Alright, your done, get out so he can get dressed." there was shuffling a few things banging and clashing, Vexen protested and Luxord swore a bit, but the door was finally slammed shut and the room was quiet.

I was scared that I wouldn't be able to hear with my right ear anymore because of the pain but when I heard Luxord sigh from that side of me, it calmed my nerves slightly- only where not being able to hear was concerned though. "I'm going to sit here… you've got your own private bathroom you can change in if you want. The clothes Xemnas wants you to use are laid out on the foot of the bed. And your ear should stop throbbing by the time your dressed- I don't recommend touching it any time soon though. Call for me if there are any problems."

I just sat there for a few moments, making sure that my eyes were clear and that my limbs wouldn't be shaking. I was stronger then that, simply and indisputably, no one could take away my will for fighting against what I was being put through. I might be doing this all for love, and most people would think that crazy and absurd, but I didn't, and as long as I didn't, they could do me no harm but physical.

I didn't bother to dress in the bathroom, even though Luxord's eyes were closed and his head was leaned back against the back of the couch I decided to start desensitizing myself right away; the sooner I got into the rhythm the sooner I could stop being scared of what was behind every corner and go back to being the old me. Plain and simple: I was a fighter, and there was nothing that a Grimm or Wolves- or even the lowly Leaches, could do about that.

I was wearing all white, very similar to the outfit I had been forced to wear in the Reapers Palace, but instead of gold accents the accents were a fairly bright shamrock green that might have matched my eyes- no perfectly though. I looked down at myself and slipped the tie around my neck, having to stop there since I didn't know how to tie a tie. The shoes I had on this time were still pearly white and all in all I looked very similar.

"Alright… we've just got to put a bit of make up on you now." I turned around and saw the door open to the blonde girl from the car standing there, her arms over her chest, hair back in the same nymph-like design, a black coat that went down to the floor, hugging the almost non-existent curves of her body and those annoying light blue eyes that I hated to see. "I can see why Jenn likes him now, he cleans up good." her voice was fairly high and pitchy, to the point where it hurt my ear

"What do you mean make up? I don't want gunk on my face." she just giggled and walked into the room, setting her arms over my shoulders so her face was abnormally close.

"I'm really glad he let me leave the Reapers Palace for this… you just look so fucking cute. C'mon, I'll do your make up really quick, you'll barely know I did anything." she took her arms off my shoulders and grabbed my hand, leading me into the bathroom.

"Luxord… I'm assuming that being a 'model hostage' I have to be kind to women."

"In most cases, no- but in her case, yes. Your looking at the Grimm's youngest niece. Axel, I give you lady Larxine." the name meant nothing to me, her title meant nothing to me, all I wanted was to be left alone so I could wallow and try and get the annoying fear running through my brain to ebb away, that wasn't happening though.

Larxine pushed me down so I was sitting in a chair and she pulled out a panel in the wall beside the vanity, allowing a wide array of make up products to come towards her. Some where shades of green, or pale shades like my skin, but most of it was black and purple, and most of it was eyeliner… or glitter.

My eyes nothing but slits as she grabbed a sparkly black eyeliner and I made to stand before she caught my wrist and held it fast to the arm of the chair. "Don't move… it's not like this will hurt or anything. Be a man will you?" I grit my teeth together and relaxed my body again so I was sitting back in the chair as she turned the warm water in the sink on and ran the tip of the pencil under the flow.

It hurt like hell when she poked my eye- something she did frequently might I add -and before she started working on my second eye I snatched the stupid thing away from her and did it myself. I just allowed my movements to copy the eye she'd done, and I did it without hurting myself. But when she pulled out the deep purple eyeliner too I let out a sigh and clenched my jaw as she did the same as before, adding a thin layer of color to the rim of the fairly thick black line I thought personally could have been thinner.

"Axel, Xemnas wants to see you down in the drawing room to meet your client now… are the two of you done?"

"Yeah! I just have to give him a mole!"

"Fuck no! I let you put the stupid sparkly shit on my eyes, that's fucking enough." I pushed her hand with the dark brown eyeliner away and walked out of the bathroom, stuffing my hands in my pockets and trying not to think of the three earrings I'd been looking at: the piercing in my lobe was a spiral that looked like a dragon it was carved out of silver, the next one up was some kind of plate that actually took up two holes that I hadn't felt separately and the last earring was the helix, a simple black hoop was there, a few Japanese looking patterns etched into the black band with silver- I'd have to ask that to get that one changed.

I followed Luxord down the hallway again, noticing that all the doorways remained closed and I realized that Luxord never gave me the house rules. "So, ugh… what are the basic rules I have to follow?"

"Right now? Try not to kill anyone. We'll work on the other rules as they come." I let a glare cross my face and clenched my fists as we got to the top of the grand staircase. The Boggle was more like an old mansion, filled with nice rooms and polished floors, it made me think of reading through books about fine artisans or hero's who'd go through hell for their damsel in distress. That was my life though; 'sacrifice yourself to save Roxas' did there need to be anything else running through my head?

Luxord knocked on the drawing room/ office door and we heard a fairly audible 'Enter' from within. Luxord pushed the door open and I walked in, seeing the Grimm sitting in his large leather chair and the large comfy chair I had been sitting in had it's back to me as the Grimm mouthed something to it's occupant.

"Since it's all really his doing that you're here Axel… we've decided to give your first night to a very special customer of ours, and who'd have thought but; you know him." at that exact moment the chair I'd been sitting in was spun around and I found myself looking into none other then the face of the Reaper, the guy who should have been in the Reapers Palace, deciding what job Roxas were to get.

"Hello Axel… how are you dear boy?" anger boiled in the pit of my stomach, but the Grimm's last threat still rung in my ears and I just closed my eyes and shivered as the Reaper stood up and I felt his breath on the side of my neck. "Fancy meeting you here… isn't it? I suppose I should let you know now; Roxas' license level is class C… he's not capable of having a higher license then that. Sorry." the feel of his lips against my swore ear made me want to rip him a new one. But I kept my eyes shut and stopped the visible shivers when I smelt the horrid almost sour smell his breath had- most likely infecting my ear.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The events of that night have stuck with me ever since it happened, my theories of being able to block out the horrors were wrong, sadly, sadly wrong. The Reaper was a brutal man and the Grimm agreed to my request of never having to cater to the man again- the only thing I've ever thanked the Grimm for. The next morning when I woke up, Luxord was sitting on the sofa, a tray of food that looked exquisite in front of him on the coffee table, his phone in his hand as he looked at something.

I didn't want to sit up thanks to the horrid pain and until I felt the pain vividly I hadn't been thought to look for the Reaper.

"He's gone… Xemnas had him removed last night when he tried to wake you again. This is your food if you want it." of course I wanted it, but I couldn't get to it! I laid back down with a groan thanks to my swore muscles. "Want me to bring it to you?"

"Yes… I cant feel my fucking ass thanks to that hob-goblin-pedo-fuck!" I wasn't sad about it, I was angry. I'd heard about kids being raped and being basically broken afterwards, but I wasn't broken, oh hell no… I was awake and ready to fucking kill someone if they pissed me off at that moment.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Three years and I started to get a few extra privileges, me and four of my friends from the Boggle were all in the same basic situation- well not at all, Sora was there because he'd been given a class C license and he had the brains for an A surprisingly enough. He was a small kid but he had a big personality, he was always smiling too, and his eyes reminded me so much of Roxas, so it was kind of nice having him around to hang out with. Demyx on the other had had gotten his license stolen in Seattle, he'd run to Vancouver to see if he could get another one, but the Reaper just brought him here and he's been stuck here ever since. And as for Zexion- Demyx's best friend and possible boyfriend- no one really knew what their relationship was. Zexion was the kind of guy who monopolized the library and read as many books as he could when he didn't have customers with him. And the last of our group was Xion: she was one of the only girls in the Boggle that wasn't broken beyond repair yet. No one really knew her story, but we all guessed it was that her parents sold her to Xemnas because of some kind of debt.

The five of us were allowed to start going out into the five acres that the Boggle was rests in the middle of. An electric fence around the perimeter to keep us from running. Luxord, Lexaeus, Xaldin, and Sifer having to come out to watch us and make sure we weren't plotting to leave.

"So, what are we going to do today. Cloud watch, talk, make grass angels?" I tucked my hands up behind my head as we walked through a fairly small thicket of trees, stopping only long enough to see if there were clouds in the sky or not so we could cloud watch.

"Like I know… I want to go back and read my book. I don't get why the four of you always drag me outside." Zexion loved complaining about being outside, almost like he was allergic to everything out here despite the fact that his health was perfect.

"Well sorry for wanting to get you tanned. At least Demyx Sora and I know how to get just bronzed enough." I gave a wink as I spun around, looking at the clouds as they flashed across the sky thanks to my rotating.

"Hey! I'm not bronzed, and neither are you… we're just tanned enough to not be considered pale; Mr. 'look at me I'm Irish'!" Sora loved rubbing it in my face that I was Irish, it gave me more clients then them, and therefore more privileges and money then them. But where they have been saving their money up for when we were allowed to go pick up our own clients and live on our own with only some ties to Xemnas, I'd been sending mine to the same mailbox I always had, keeping Roxas' name on the check inside the wonderful black envelopes. I never added a return address- simply because there wasn't one -and I never added a note. But none of them knew that I didn't save my money.

"Axel! Xemnas wants to see you." Luxord snapped his phone shut and he looked over at me with a bored expression.

"But I just got outside… cant it wait until after lunch or something? Tell him I'm running away or something, get creative."

"My creative right now is your fondling Sora… so I'd get going unless you want to be stuck in the basement for a violation again." don't get me wrong, I hadn't once fondled someone! I had said the exact same thing to Luxord about a year before and he'd told I'd fondled one of the girls, so I was thrown in the basement- that was much more like a prison -for two days without food, only water.

"Fine! Tell the lout I'm coming!" I rolled my eyes and said quick goodbye's to the small group of friends and followed Luxord back into the mansion with my hands stuffed in my pockets, making sure that there was a leaf or something stuck to the bottom of my shoe so it would piss the Grimm off.

"Ah, there he is… my Flurry of Dancing Flames! You should be so happy to hear this tidbit of information!" he sounded almost extravagant but he wasn't flourishing any movements as I sat down with a bored expression.

"And what tidbit would that be Xemnas?" I never know what to call him really; Grimm, Xemnas… 'the guy who ruined my life to the point where I want nothing to do with anything he has to do with' none of it sounded right really- well the last one sounded spot on, but it was a bit long.

"My niece has come for a visit of course." he was back to docile, and I have to admit, I like him better when he's not trying to be likable.

"No shit… she just about gouged my eyes out again like, ten minutes ago because I wouldn't say she looked hot." I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned back in the seat after rolling my shoulders, unfortunately I had thought that I'd be easy to get out of shape staying stuck in this house, but a top of the line work out room prevented obesity- it just meant instead of running outside on the five acres of land Xemnas owned, we had to run on a treadmill.

Though I have to give him some kind of credit, so far he's stuck true to our deal and I've gotten an education so I'm the smartest whore in the house-aside from Zexion, and my health hasn't decreased but the most important condition he'd kept true to, is Roxas; as far as I know he's going to school and he's getting really smart himself. I'm not sure where he's living- but I've also never asked -and he is supposedly doing really well.

"Not Larxine, her sister! I'm surprised you don't remember her! I'm shocked really, the two of you were dating." I raised an eyebrow at him for a moment trying to think of what kind of game he was willing to play at.

"Alright, what the fuck are you talking about? Incase you haven't noticed, I'm kinda stuck in this shit of a house away from the general population. And as far as I know I haven't had a girlfriend commute to see me… but I haven't really had any female customers to begin with- certainly no repeat business from them."

"You dolt! Jenn, the girl you met in the Reapers Palace! The girl who informed you she was my niece on the first day she spoke to you!" the name didn't ring a bell until I sat there for a minute or two, trying to think of a face but getting nothing but blonde hair and greenish-blue eyes.

"Alright… what about her? She came for a visit, big whoop." I shrugged my shoulders and he slammed his fists onto the desk.

"She came here to see you!"

"Really? Is she paying? Never thought you'd let me have a guest."

"Consider it her birthday present, and if you don't show her gentleness and kindness tonight, consider your privileges revoked and your sorry excuse for an ass strapped down in the basement for a week." I looked back at him and saw the glare, he looked absolutely pissed and I just let out a sigh and nod my head.

"Any idiosyncrasy's or attitude problems I need to know about?" I ran my hand through my hair and rolled my shoulders a little to loosen them since I found it much easier to lie when my shoulders moved freely.

"How about you learn as you go?" I gave a bit of a glare and let out a sigh and rolled my shoulders yet again.

"So, do you want the whole shebang and be 'the perfect gentlemen' and sweep her off her feet, or 'be myself' and have her running in the opposite direction?"

"Charming gentlemen… and up in your room this weekend: don't hurt her."

"I wouldn't dream of it Mr. Grimm." I stood up from my seat and gave a slight bow to him and turned around. "I'll be back down in half an hour… unless you want me to greet her looking like a slob?"

"Of course not, take all the time you need Axel… after all; you're aware that you're my best money-bag." I just smirked a bit and opened the door so I could head up to my room.

"Axel! Hey, what'd old Grimm-Dummy want with you?" I turned my attention to the side and looked at my four friends and gave them a bit of a smirk.

"Sorry guys, but I'm on the job now. You'll have to get Xion to settle all disputes, got it memorized?" Sora was the first to respond by rolling his eyes and waving his hand at me.

"Yeah- whatever! It's not our fault that your: 'Mr. Prince-Charming' or some kind of red headed god." I could see Zexion and Demyx roll their eyes and decided to play along for a moment, trying as hard as I could to keep the happy façade I had about being what I was.

"Sora… was that a confession perhaps? Finally admitting that I'm a sexy-beast of a god?" his eyes went wide and he opened his mouth to protest but I cut him off. "Or simply a statement made from a jealous colleague?" he sputtered a moment and I never really got to hear his reply since I vanished up the garnished staircase and vanished into my Number 8 room.

The room was covered in unlit candles, I loved looking at flames and nine times out of ten I just lay in my bed on the nights when I did and didn't have customers, looking into a candle until the wick burnt out before switching my gaze to the next. Customers never minded when I went to sleep so long as they got what they wanted out of me. The sheets on my bed had started off blue when I first moved in, but had changed to a red that came pretty close to my hair. The furnishing in the room hadn't changed much, they were still a lush carpet that had gone from pure white to a fairly blue tinted grey. And the curtains were black so I could block out morning light for those really late nights I got paid so much for.

"I already heard, I've got your best suit laying out on the bed."

"No, not the best suit… I'll save that one for tomorrow. How about the white one tonight?" I pulled my shirt off over my head, showing Luxord the expanse of my chest he'd seen a million times before as I started moving around my room to get ready for the girl I didn't want to see and pretend to reminisce with.

"Really? Why tomorrow night?"

"I'm going to charm her, and Xemnas said she'd be around the entire weekend, so why not just have a sweet childish night? Isn't it more romantic when it's held out on or something like that?" Luxord shrugged his shoulders at me and I just shrugged as he brought out my white and green suit- one of many I'd gotten over the years.

I pulled my tight black jeans off next and started hopping my way into the fairly loose white slacks that came with the suit that I hadn't really worn yet. "I suppose I'll have to tie my hair down a bit… god that's such a hassle." Luxord was the only one in the house who could tell how really pissed I was about being here, everyone else thought that my carefree tone was genuine.

Unfortunately for my ego and nerves, Luxord was always the shadow hidden in the corner of the room or in the bathroom, keeping an eye on me and my behavior. But I'd never let him slip passed the line from my Wolf to my friend, I refused to give Xemnas that kind of satisfaction.

"Axel… Xemnas wants to see you now." Saïx walked into my room with no knock and I rolled my eyes as I turned my head, still buttoning the pants up.

"He'll have to wait at least a minute for me to get my pants on."

"He wants you in the tuxedo, and to see you right now. Pants or not." I groaned a bit and finished getting the white pants on.

"I'll get the tuxedo." Luxord vanished back into the walk in closet as I followed Saïx down the hallway and back into Xemnas' office- what he introduced to me as the drawing room.

"Ah, I see your wearing the white suit- I want it changed. But first, I want you to come here for a moment." I did as he asked and sat down on the corner of his Desk closest to him since he motioned to it. "Remove the earring in your lobe for me." I did as he asked calmly and quickly, taking the small dragon out of my ear and setting it down into his open palm. "Good, now put this one in instead." he handed me an identical earring, the only difference was the earring I'd had in my ear didn't have gems for eyes, and this one had two emeralds for eyes.

"And what does this do?"

"It's a tracker. It'll stay in your ear until you come back."

"Until I-"

"You're being allowed to leave the compound, but if you differ from direction I'll give you no more then one hour, I'll have a team of Wolves on you faster then you can say 'Hi' am I understood?"

I raised an eyebrow and looked into his amber eyes, trying to decipher if he was being serious or not. "And how are you going to know I haven't just taken it out?"

"Your not that stupid, I'd have the wild dogs go after Roxas. You don't know where he is, but I do." I wasn't sure if I should believe him about knowing where Roxas was, but I wouldn't take the risk and he knew it or not.

"Alright. And how long do I have to get back on track if I get lost again?"

"You get lost? I doubt it, but you'll have one hour, and you'll have a phone with you that I'll call you on to direct you back." I nod my head a few times and slipped the dragon into place. "Alright, go get dressed, Jenn is waiting for you in the waiting room."

I nod my head and vanished back up to my room where Luxord was waiting with the black tuxedo, I quickly got dressed in it and went into the bathroom to tie back as much of my hair as I could to make sure that it looked alright.

**AN:**

**Me: not as dark as I wanted it -_-' I think I'm stuck in a perpetual state of 'no angst'**

**Axel: well, we can make the next chapter really angst if you let me give you a few ideas.**

**Roxas: am I going to come back into it soon? I miss being with Axel.**

**Sora: your such a baby! You cant even spend ten minutes away from that stupid red-head!**

**Riku: look who's talking Sora… your sitting on my lap- have been for the last hour. I think my legs are falling asleep -_-**

**Me: Y'know, normally I don't like soriku, so don't mess this thing up! I'm trying it out to try it out, not to be smothered by it!**

**Sora: Alright, I'm sorry… don't take him away from me. Please?**

**Me: I wont yet. Anyhow, take it away Sora.**

**Sora: please review! We'd all love to hear what you have to say about this chapter of the story- or the whole story thus far! ^_^ have a good day or night- or afternoon of course -and if you cant find fun, MAKE IT! =^_^=**


	7. Chapter 6

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Six**

'_**The sun when setting makes the increasing shadows twice as large**_**.'- Virgil**

I walked down the staircase as gracefully as I could and walked into the waiting room where Sora and Demyx were sitting with a blushing Jenn, cooing about how pretty she was and how her hair looked so soft. Well I'm pretty sure she looked close to the same as she did when I last saw her; her hair was longer, her boobs were bigger and she was taller, that seemed to be the only difference- aside from the fact that she was wearing a nice dress that accented her curves.

"Hello Jenn. Never thought I'd see you here." I had no idea what opening line I should use since her uncle roped me into the damn job and the Reaper gave me no other option, it had been three years and I really had no idea how to talk to women that didn't try and molest me.

Jenn turned her head in my direction and her eyes lit up right away. "Axel! Oh my god!" she hopped off the couch where she had been surrounded by Sora, Demyx and Zexion off to the side- he was more talking to Xion though. Before I could stop her- even though I probably wouldn't have -I was tackled and her arms were wrapped around my neck. "I've missed you so much Axel! I almost didn't believe my uncle when he said you were here!" was she stupid, or did she just not put the two pieces together?

"Uh, yeah… It's nice to see you again too." I wrapped an arm around her back and returned the hug as nicely as I could with a fake smile and everything. She took a step back and brushed the hair behind her ear and gave me a shy smile as her cheaks dusted. I caught Sora and Demyx mocking her from the couch and just gave her a smile as I motioned towards the front door.

"Common, you're uncle has arranged for a car to take us out tonight, wherever you want to go." I gave the boys a smirk as their jaws dropped and I could see Zexion actually seething as he grabbed Demyx and pulled him back down onto the couch as he tried to run after us, mumbling something about 'Not around Jenn… we'll get him later'

As soon as the door closed behind us Luxord motioned towards the large dark blue Bentley and he just smiled at me, knowing it was my first time off the compound since I'd gotten there. I slid myself into the car behind Jenn and let out a sigh once the cool leather hit the back of my stuffy tuxedo, it was the middle of summer and too hot to be wearing a freaking tuxedo- why I'd chosen the white suit.

"So, where do you want to go Jenn?"

"Can we just go to the country club? I want to show you off." the tone in her voice was so freaking tight and high that as I nod my head and the driver started rolling, I wanted to hit my head repeatedly. "So, Axel I was kinda wondering… why you never called."

"I didn't have your number… and to be honest I completely forgot that Xemnas is your uncle." I gave her a smile but just as she was about to answer my phone went off, completely catching my attention with the loud upbeat song that made Jenn jump.

"What in the world is that?"

"My ringtone… please excuse me." I'd completely forgot to change it since nine times out of ten it was a client calling for phone sex. "Hello?" I raised the phone to my ear, liking the fact it was the newest touch screen with unlimited minutes and as many texts as I wanted- too bad I only got the chance to use it with clients, Xemnas and Luxord.

"Axel, I just wanted to give you a bit of additional information. I figure it'd be best to inform you that if the earring is removed from your ear, then it will shoot a tranquilizer into your skin before it can be completely removed."

"Alright. Is there anything else I should know?"

"Yes, shower her in attention and affection. If you don't, you'll be-"

"Locked away and safe, I know. I'll talk to you later." I ended the call and let out a deep sigh before smiling at Jenn when I saw the concerned look. "Don't worry about it… just one of my friends making sure I put his necklace away safely."

"You had one of your friends necklaces?"

"Yeah, he didn't want Demyx getting his hands on it, so he gave it to me to keep it safe." the lie was so effortless that she just smiled and let out a fairly high pitched giggle as I leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek.

My eyes caught Luxord's in the rear view mirror and I saw him reaching for the divider so I sat up straight again and distanced myself enough to give Luxord the signal that I wouldn't do it in the car- for the simple fact that too many people had gotten onto the black leather seats and control hadn't been their strong point.

I turned back to Jenn and got into the same topic that'd kept her talking for hours back in the Reapers Palace: her. She spoke, and spoke, and spoke, she started tearing up at one point so I got her to tell me more about her puppy- one thing that had clicked in my head when she'd been talking. I could see the smirk on Luxord's face from the back seat and tried as hard as I could not to roll my eyes as I raised my hand to fiddle with the earrings in my right ear- a bad habit I had when I was bored or listening to something I didn't want to be.

"Everyone! This is Axel!" my eyes went wide as Jenn walked me into a fairly large room, filled with teens that I'd seen three years before in the Reapers Palace. Right away I noticed Danny and a few others so I gave them a fairly large smile.

"Hey, Axel! God, long time no see. Damn, I haven't even heard anything of you. Jenn talks about you all the time though- the relationship still strong?" I remained silent for a while, wondering what kind of lies Jenn's been weaving about me that I'd have to catch onto.

"Of course…everyday! This is just the first year he hasn't been busy with work!" Jenn hugged my arm and my eyes instantly caught with Danny- the one boy I knew was aware that I hadn't seen Jenn in the first year. "Common Axel, I'm hungry." Jenn started pulling me towards the fairly large buffet that had been set up. She had a vice grip on my arm as she lead me to the buffet.

"Here, I'll get your food for you."

"But, what about you?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll get my food next." I gave her a soft smile knowing that this would be hard to stay a gentlemen and still be the anti-rule kid that I was four years ago, that I still was on the inside.

"Awe! Your so sweet. Thank you. I'd like the honey-garlic-chicken, the mixed-vegetables and the deep fried prawns." she pressed a light kiss to my cheek and went to go sit down, allowing my face to relax again as I grabbed the food for her, trying to think of a way to trip and spill it all over her. I was starting to not care if Xemnas put me into the basement for a MONTH so long as I didn't have to pretend that I had been dating her for years. It's not even like it was a white lie and I was attracted to her, I was gay! Did girls just not get that concept that I liked male bodies opposed to females? I couldn't even get it up for a girl unless I was thinking of a guy, I hope that's not odd for gay men, but at the same times I've never known norms.

"So Axel… how've you been?" I looked across the buffet table at Danny as he smirked.

"How about I give you my number, and we catch up when I'm not on the job?" I raised an eyebrow and gave a bit of a smirk at his confusion. He nod his head and I passed my phone over to him as I finished piling Jenn's plate with probably too much for her to eat. Danny started putting his number into my phone as we head off to the table where Jenn was sitting and giggling with a bunch of other girls and their boyfriends.

The first person I noticed was Riku; I'm not proud of it, but I felt my heart start to pound as I saw him there with a girl, a smirk across his face as he looked at me, aqua eyes following my every move. He'd been a client of mine a few months before hand, but he'd jumped off my band wagon and started requesting time with Sora, but something that made me smirk myself was that I knew he was cheating on his girlfriend, and that his parents didn't know he was gay- or at least appreciated the male body.

"Hello everyone." I gave a fake smile and sat myself down, having lost my appetite. "How're you love?" I leaned over and pressed a kiss to Jenn's temple as I sat down beside her, catching Riku's smirk. "I'll be back in a minute, I've got a crazy sweet tooth today." Jenn just giggled as I stood up again and walked over to the frozen section and grabbed a bright red cherry popsicle out of the freezer before walking back.

I could see Luxord's glare from the corner of the room, casually chatting with a few adults as I sat down and went to unwrapping my popsicle. "Aren't you going to eat normal food Axel?" Jenn turned her large light blue eyes on me and I just smiled kindly before allowing more of my Irish drawl through my speech.

"Not really tha' hungry, I might get sometin' later." it wasn't the strong drawl I had as a kid, but I could control it's intensity at most points- talking like a true Irish sailor when I was alone in the Boggle without a customer.

"Oh, alright." she gave a smile before starting to eat her Chinese food and continued talking.

"So, we know your name… but you don't know any of ours I'm guessing. I'm Pence, this is Olette and Hayner, that over there is Siefer, Rai, Fuu and Riku too." I looked over at the others and nod my head in acknowledgment, seeing Riku's aqua eyes burning into mine as I raised the popsicle to my lips and started licking off the freezer frost.

"Nice to meet you, or see you again. I guess my minds a little foggy about the Reapers Palace."

"No problem. Hayner, Olette and I were in the next year after you, only Siefer, Rai, Fuu and Riku were in your year- well, and sitting at the table."

"Really? You were in the year after us?"

"Yeah, but I mean what you did? You were a freaking legend. Thanks to our year though, you've kinda been wiped off the face of the 'breaking the rules' chart." I raised an eyebrow and just took a moment looking at him, wondering if he'd tell me or if I'd have to ask.

"What happened was these two brothers, apparently they hadn't seen each other in like a year- the younger one ran away or something. It got really messy when one confronted the other."

My heart stopped and I felt the lump in my throat. "W-what happened?"

"One of them killed the other in a fight. They rolled into the dining table and a knife fell off. Stabbed him right through the heart. Since then all the Reaper has used is plastic utensils." my heart was beating out of control as I scooted forward slightly forgetting the cherry popsicle that was melting down my fingers to leave a red stain on the white tablecloth.

"Do you know which one killed the other?" my voice had gotten small, Pence and I had grown closer together as the rest of the table took on another topic, being completely un-amused by the slightly morbid topic.

"No, as soon as they figured out what happened, the wounded one was carried off to the hospital to try and save him, the other was given a class C license and kicked out of the building without a job assigned to them. It sucks too, because one of them was really cool… he'd actually become a really good friend of ours." Pence took that moment to point to Hayner and Olette and I noticed that the girl looked sad as she looked at me.

I cleared my throat quickly and sat back up, taking Jenn's hand in mine and looking at Pence. "Well… that's a pretty sad story. I'm only upset that my impression only lasted a year. But hey, that's twelve months of ten year olds that didn't best me." Pence's serious face broke into a smile and I tilted my head with a smile of my own before starting to clean the mess my popsicle had made.

I noticed as Riku's eyes fixed with the popsicle and held the smirk in as I took it into my mouth to suck off the melted juices; if there was one thing I knew about Riku- probably even more then Sora -was that he loved blow jobs- giving and receiving -to be exact.

"So Axel… why so interested in the year after ours?" I turned back to Jenn and took the popsicle out of my mouth, playing that I hadn't been taunting Riku just to have fun and thought for a moment for a good lie.

"Because he said it bested me… and I have to admit, two brothers going at it and one being killed; that bested me- but enough about the past, I want to know more about you. I feel like I could just hear you talk all night and never know enough."

"But I've been talking all day. Cant you tell me more about you now? I want to know everything there is to know about Axel…" she trailed off and I could tell she was looking for my last name.

"You already know enough about me, I am everything you want; remember?" I heard Luxord coughing from the other side of the room and quickly took the signal to fix that statement. "Because all I am; is in love with you." her face softened and she wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Oh my god! I love you too!" her perfume was starting to give me a headache, but one thing that I didn't mind was the fact that she didn't crush the air out of my lungs like some girls before had.

Once she pulled away I stood up and held my hand out for her. "Would you like to dance?"

"B-but there's no music." her face lowered a bit in a sad expression and I shrugged as I took her hand and guided her to her feet.

"Well… I'm sure the music will start once we're into the dance." she spun under my arm and I held her in a fairly close hold as we started a simple waltz I'd learned a year or two before when Xemnas thought it'd be best for us to all have proper etiquette incase our clients wanted us to do more then just fuck.

Jenn's face went bright red and I smiled a bit as her head went down on my shoulder, her toes were just on the tips of my shoes so she'd lift her feet at the same time and get the steps right, so I knew she didn't know how to really dance yet but had been taught simple steps.

Olette and Hayner joined in after a minute, then Riku and the brunette he'd been sitting beside, a scowl on his face since he'd been dragged onto the dance floor as the band got into their seats and started to play. I had to change my tempo a bit to accommodate them, but Jenn sighed contentedly, so I couldn't really give up until the song was over.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Alright, I'll see you guys back in school. Bye!" Jenn waved from the window of the car that was to take us to her next location of choice. "I hope you don't mind Axel, but I kinda thought a visit to an old friend might be nice." I raised an eyebrow at her since I had no friends but Roxas: and at that point I didn't know if he was alive or not. For all I knew they could have been blackmailing me with his safety for three years and he could be dead.

"Uh, no problem… but am I allowed to know who it is?"

"Hee, no. It's a secret." I got a bad feeling when she said that, a really bad feeling. But I decided to not question it aloud and just nod my head in agreement.

"Oh! I have a better idea, we can do that tomorrow! I want to go to the movies tonight!" my eyes went wide at the sudden attitude change as Jenn moved forward and started telling the driver to go to the closest theater; Silver City in Metrotown.

"Um, okay, I'm up for anything." to be completely honest, I'd never gotten to go to a theater, so just the thought of going to a movie was making my muscles tense and adrenaline pump.

Jenn sat back down on my lap, rotating her hips until she was comfortable and she put her head on my shoulder. "So Axel… can you tell me about Ireland?" I peeked down to see her look up at me and then I looked up into the rear view mirror to see Luxord looking at me, I could see the intrigue in his eyes.

"Nothing to really talk about. Green I guess."

"Axel… you've got to do better then that. You're so mysterious and elusive, I know nothing of you." I lifted her head with my finger and pressed a kiss to her lips before giving a bit of a smirk as I pulled my face away slightly.

"I'm just being honest, there's nothing I can do about that."

"But what about you're family."

"I don't have one. You already know what happened when I told you in the Reapers Palace." she smiled as she bit her bottom lip, leaning forward for another kiss and I gave it willingly.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The movie had been annoying; romance drama. It had all the girls crying by the end of it as the couple stood, at a wedding alter after so many trials of the young business heir and his wife of choice- a girl from the worse side of town -and Jenn was no exception. She'd been sobbing and balling on my shoulder as I stared at the scene, probably one of the only ones in there that actually got to see the couple die of the poison that'd been put in their glasses at the reception.

In short, it was a horrible experience for my first- and probably last -time in a theater, Jenn had taken a good fifteen minutes to calm down. But the ride back to the mansion was filled with heated kisses and me having to pin her hands above her head so she'd stop trying to undress herself in the car.

"A-Axel, p-please." her cheeks were flushed and her hair only slightly messed up, but it had been down and loose so you couldn't really tell I'd held her face to mine by fisting a bit of her hair- not harshly mind you.

"Not here." she nod her head and a few minutes later the car stopped, we were both sitting up and I lead her into the house, my tuxedo still intact and up towards my room. We shared a few kisses on the way, the first inside the house was at the bottom of the stairs when she'd turned to me and gripped my face.

Her kisses were sloppy and unpracticed, I tried to guild her as much as I could but she liked dominating kisses while being submissive with her body. I broke our lips apart and lead her up to the floor my room was on when she pulled me into another kiss. Again at my door, that kiss I had pinned her to the thick wood of my bedroom door and allowed my right hand to curve down the side of her body and rest on her hip.

"Axel." I broke away from the kiss and turned my head enough to see Xemnas standing at the top of the stairs with a glare on his face. I stood up a bit and took my hand away from Jenn's right hip, still using my left arm to lean against the door as Jenn started to fiddle with my tie. "Get in the room." his voice was demanding and we spent a moment glaring at each other before I reached down with my left hand and opened the door, catching Jenn as she lost her balance and slipped into the room with her.

I pushed her against the back of the door and pressed short, light kisses to her lips and down her chin. "A-Axel! More!" I smirked and stopped altogether, moving away from her and watching the dazed expression on her face. "Axel?"

I smiled and grabbed her hand, my eyes trained on her in the low lighting of my candle covered room. I pulled her towards the bed and sat her on the edge as gently as I could. She reached her hands around my neck and gripped her fingers into my hair. "Jenn, relax… if you don't want me to do something, tell me." my voice was a low purr as I wrapped my right arm behind her back and lowered her to the soft bed with a powerful kiss.

As our tongues danced I allowed my hand to travel from the side of her neck to the top of her dress and I could feel her breath hitch, but she didn't say no so I kept going. I pressed kisses to her neck and spent a moment there as my fingers unlaced the straps on the dress. Just by the way she was moving and reacting I could tell that she was a virgin, I felt bad that I was the one who was going to take something like that from her; but I wasn't really getting a choice.

"Axel… say my name." her voice was breathless and I inhaled a bit, taking my mouth away from her throat where a light hickey that wouldn't stick long was and pressed a kiss to her lips.

"Jenn." she groaned as I said her name and pulled the left side of her dress open to cup her breast. "Jenn." she whimpered a bit as I drew my thumb over her nipple and once again I found myself having to pull up images of various men as the night went on; Riku being the main focus of my night because I'd seen him sitting across from me with glazed eyes in the country club as I'd had my popsicle.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I wasn't used to waking up beside someone, normally the people who spelt with me were gone by morning, but as I looked down at Jenn, sprawled out across the left side of my king sized bed as I was curled in a small ball like normal.

"Axel… come here for a moment." I turned my head around to see Luxord standing in the corner of the room, he looked serious and fear went through me; was Xemnas upset with how I conduced myself the night before? I nod my head a few times and got out of the bed, grabbing my boxers and following Luxord out of the room after making sure that Jenn was covered.

Sora and Demyx both poked their heads out of their doors, and I noticed that Zexion was behind Demyx, but I couldn't answer the questioning looks I got as I followed Luxord down the stairs and into Xemnas' office.

"So, I need the details of last night. Who did you see while you were out, what did you hear about who?"

"Not much, I saw Riku… um, Danny- haven't seen him in three years." I noticed Xemnas flip through his book of names but I kept going. "I'm pretty sure I made Riku get a boner under the table with a popsicle, then we went to a romance movie and Jenn cried her head off. Came back, and went up to my room." I shrugged as I sat down, trying to think of the actual events of last night since I had already blocked most of it out. I decided to leave out the information that Roxas might not be living, though I could tell that Luxord noticed.

"So, nothing happened? What about last night, what approach did you use?"

"Gentle, soft, I never pushed her and I didn't move too quickly. I'm assuming the pain she felt was fairly high, but at the same time she never told me to stop." I shrugged my shoulders and sat down in the chair that was always there. "Is there something that I did wrong? Because to be frank I'd rather not do that again tonight."

Anger flashed in Xemnas' eyes and I let out a sigh, holding my hands up in the air and looking at him right in the eyes. "Don't be offended, she's very pretty. But I'm gay. Got it memorized?" Xemnas let out a sigh and folded his hands together.

"Axel, I'm going to tell you this once: I don't care that your gay, if you get a female as your customer, then you will take care of that customers needs. Now go grab my niece's breakfast and bring it to her." I nod my head with a sigh and gave him a smirk as I stood up.

"Should I serve it to her like I never left the room? Or should I get dressed."

"Put trousers on. Now get going." I nod my head and allowed the door to stay open behind me for Luxord as I made my way into the kitchen.

"Hey, Axel! How're you doing?" I gave Sora a smirk as he hopped into the kitchen followed by Demyx, both as cheery as ever- indicating they hadn't had customers the night before.

"Alright I guess… gotta make breakfast now though, do you think she'd like a fruit plate with some cheese? Or eggs and toast?" I opened a loaf of bread and sliced off a piece for myself as I thought, both Sora and Demyx pondering beside me.

"Make her a fruit plate." all three of us turned to see Xion walking into the kitchen looking absolutely tired and limping slightly.

I let out a sigh seeing possibly my best friend in the house limping and pulled out the most padded chair that the kitchen had to offer. "Alright Xion. Want me to make some for you too?"

"Yes please." she dropped her head to the counter and Sora walked up, rubbing her back soothingly. We all tried to help her as much as we could, making sure that she didn't go crazy or into serious depression like the other girls- or get addicted to some kind of drug.

I lit one of my many candles with the mini lighter I kept in my boxers pocket- don't ask me why I had a pocket in my boxers, I just do. I set the light Paopu scented candle by her head and I heard her take a deep breath as I started with making a giant fruit plate and a smaller one for Jenn.

Strawberries, apples, pears, peaches, nectarines, plums, grapes, kiwi, pineapples, cantaloupe, oranges, tangerines, mangos, watermelon, cherries, and a large chunk of cheddar cheese- Xemnas had said its her favorite. I set Jenn's plate aside from the other as I sliced the cheese for both her and everyone else.

"Oh my god! You're a miracle worker!" Sora moved towards the larger plate as I spun around but I set it down in front of Xion, keeping Sora and Demyx away with one foot on the brunettes stomach as I pressed a soft kiss to her cheek.

"We'll talk about it when I'm not busy, alright?" Xion nod her head as I set the plate down, only wishing I'd had a paopu fruit to add to it. Sora and Demyx started to eat some of the fruit, not diving into it like wild animals, but sitting down so the four of them could share it evenly.

I gently opened my bedroom door and smiled seeing Jenn still sleeping on the bed, the blanket had only moved slightly but she wasn't uncovered. I set the food down on the night stand and moved over to get into a pair of black slacks since they were the closest. Letting her sleep was ideal for me, but the apples and pears would have begun to brown so I crawled onto the bed and wrapped an arm around her waist before gently kissing from her shoulder to her neck.

"Mmm, wha?"

"Morning Jenn… would you like some breakfast?" I pointed towards the fruit as I kissed her neck again, feeling her skin flush under my lips as her hips rotate backwards a bit.

"Y-yeah… mmm, s-sounds go-od." I took myself away from her and got off my side of the bed and grabbed the TV remote and flicked it on as Jenn sat up and started eating. "So Axel… h-how are you this morning?" I sat back down and gave her a smile as she grabbed up a strawberry and gently bit into it.

"Pretty good, how're you this morning?"

"I feel great! I don't think I've slept that nicely in years!" she gave me a smile and I returned it as I flipped the TV to a news station since it was one of the only stations I was allowed to watch.

"Really, you don't feel swore or anything, do you?"

"Nope! My shoulders are a bit tight, but they've been like that for a long time now." I looked over with a raised eyebrow, I had figured out when I hadn't been made to give a full recount of the night to Xemnas that something about the time I was spending with Jenn was different to the Grimm, but I couldn't have been sure.

"Well, I can give you a massage once your done your breakfast if you want." her eyes went wide and her smile grew a bit- if that was possible as she nod her head. There was a fairly firm knocking on the door and I hopped up to get it. "Hello?" Luxord was standing there and he just reached up, taking the green dragon earring out of my ear and handing me the one I'd had before.

"Xemnas wants me to let you know that there is a pound of chocolate for you in the mini fridge in your room, as well as a bottle of wine and a few Red Dragons in the mini fridge for you when she's in her shower." yep, I was right: privileges.

"Alright, thanks Luxord." he nod his head and I knew he'd be just standing outside the door so I shut it and slid the earring back into it's rightful place with a smile.

"So Axel… what are our plans for today?"

"Um, I don't really know. What do you want to do."

"Well, we have an appointment for six tonight, but until then we're free." I took notice of the word 'we' that was used several times, but ignored it as I just nod my head and sat down beside her in the bed. "Would you like some? I haven't seen you eat anything."

"Don't worry, I had my breakfast while I was making yours." I gave her a smile and I saw her eyes soften as she bit into another strawberry, only having them and green apples left on the plate with just a few slices of cheese.

I felt violated for the first time in a while, just because I didn't know what the hell she was playing at; was she playing dumb, or was she just really clueless to the fact that I was a whore for a living? And then there was my emotions running rampant about Roxas, god, my note must have confused the hell out of him if he was the one to kill Ventus, I debated on asking which died by name, but I just couldn't, especially since I kind of took it the night before that Hayner, Pence and Olette were friends of Roxas. I couldn't really have done that to them, and Pence said he didn't know since they were escorted out right away as it was.

**AN:**

**Me: I hope you all like it. I feel really bad, I keep promising angst that is as angst as it gets, but I'm not delivering DX**

**Axel: your over analyzing things… just give me more internal emotions.**

**Me: oh my god! Why the hell didn't I think of that? DX I'm an idiot!**

**Sora: are you PMSing or something? Your never this critical of yourself.**

**Me: I AM NOT! My English teacher is just being really mean to me right now and it's making me overanalyze everything.**

**Roxas: am I going to be coming into it soon?**

**Me: I don't think so… I kinda got a bunch of ideas before that happens, but maybe.**

**Roxas: fine, but I'm introducing Sora!**

***a very long silence as everyone waits***

**Me: are you going to introduce Sora?**

**Roxas: that was my introduction.**

**Sora: alright then! (before they get into a fist fight) we all hope you review and let Elizabeth know how she did! Reviews just make us smile like crazy, so please don't be shy in letting us know. Have a good time and kill as many Heartless as you see out there! (They hide in the damndest places… like Elizabeth's pencil-case)**


	8. Chapter 7

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Seven**

'_**Take care, don't fight, and remember: if you do not choose to lead, you will forever be lead by others. Find what scares you, and do it. And you can make a difference, if you choose to do so.'**_**- J. Michael Straczynski**

As Jenn and I drove down the streets in the large silver Bentley (apparently that was her favorite color aside from pink- but who gave a shit?) she was bouncing up and down, happy as could be and I groaned realizing I should have been rougher, if I had been rougher all I would have had to do would be spend a little bit of time in the basement for mistreating a client. I'd be fine with that, it's not like I haven't bitten people too harshly, or scratched deep enough to draw blood, even threatened and almost succeeded to castrate a guy once. I'm sure being a little rough in the sack wouldn't possibly be that bad.

"So Axel, do you know where we're going?" I shook my head a little bit and continued looking out the window, I was allowed to leave to get my own clients when I turned fifteen, so I only had a few more months of being stuck in the Boggle and on Boggle grounds for another five months, thinking about it, the time was longer then I was anticipating. "Do you, Axel?"

"No I don't… I don't really recognize this part of town." the truth was I did, I just wanted her to start talking again so I could zone out. And she did sure enough, describing every street we passed, what lay on the street and what streets connected with it. I couldn't care less about what she was saying, even reverting back to the habit I had as a child of checking my nails, but they were painted black and spotless. I looked up from my nails every now and then, allowing myself to catch the reflection of my eyes in the glass. They were as green as ever, and the same annoying sad they'd been for three years, I don't think I've smiled since the night before Roxas' tenth birthday when he'd hugged me on my way into the apartment.

I had never actually given her the massage I'd said I would, we'd spent our time cloud watching and talking, but thanks to the Red Dragons I had a nice buzz for whatever event she was dragging me to; just enough to give me that fuzzy feeling that helped with acting like a warm couple and not enough to make me spill the beans that we hadn't been dating for three years.

"So, we're getting close. Does this ring a bell at all?" I raised my eyes to look outside again but all I saw were blurred lights because of the speed we were traveling at.

"Nah, but I'm alright Jenn, I don't need to know where we're going… as long as I'm going with you." I turned back to her and gave the dreamiest smile I could, fiddling with the green eyed dragon that had been placed in my ear again.

"Your so awesome Axel! I love you!" she gave another huge hug and I rolled my eyes, noticing that Luxord realized but I no longer cared. She pressed a kiss to my neck and trailed a line up to my cheek and then my lips, pushing my back against the door of the Bentley. I raised my hand and clicked the lock shut, feeling as she dug her hands into my hair and pulled my face to hers in another sloppy kiss.

I let out a bit of a groan and fought back in the kiss, easily being able to dominate her mouth as I switched our positions, pushing her back down against the seats and forcing the kiss to slow down so I could at least show her how to kiss without drooling- something I believe is a major turn off.

"Axel, you may want to wrap it up, we are approaching our destination." I broke the kiss with Jenn and looked up at Luxord in the rear view mirror before sitting down in my seat. Jenn righted herself too and fixed her hair a bit, running her fingers through her the blonde locks to flatten them down a bit as she fixed her lipstick and I rubbed the bright red color off my own lips.

I looked out the window and my eyes went wide at the building I saw: the Reapers Palace. This looked just like it had when I last walked through the front door, unfortunately the privilege of walking out the front door hadn't been given to me and I'd woken up in an alley, but it still looked the same.

Tall white walls, sparkling windows, everywhere my eyes fell it was pristine as I looked around from the seat in the back of the silver Bentley. My muscles all went tense and I refused to take my eyes away from the window I'd been allowed to look out during my time spent on that horrid floor of that horrid building. I hated the idea of it, just the thought of being around that stupid annoying man again made me want to rip his head off and stuff him into a cardboard box so I could send it through a wood chipper- my mind quickly went to the question on if Mr. Woods would allow me to use his wood chipper for a cardboard box- but I gave the thought up right away and just shook my head so I could concentrate a little on what Jenn was saying.

"I hope you don't mind, but he wanted to see you so dearly too. He hasn't seen you for four years, and I didn't think that was fair in the slightest. He's been so excited about seeing you." I thought for a moment, frozen in place as I thought of a way out of it, floundering when I just saw Luxord avert his eyes from the mirror, indicating if the Reaper tried anything I'd have to allow it.

"But… wouldn't you rather go back to the mansion? We could spend the rest of the night in my room." I slid closer to Jenn, she was my only hope and I knew it was a long shot, she was probably not up for more sex at that exact moment, but I couldn't say that I didn't want to go or Xemnas could have me stuffed in the darkest part of the mansion for a month without any food or water. "I want to lavish you in so much affection Jenn… wont you allow me that pleasure." I knew making it sound like she'd be doing me a favor would be the best approach- in all fairness she would be doing me a favor. She shook her head and just accepted the kisses I pressed to her neck.

I slowly started to crawl over her, allowing my kisses to trail down her chest as I started toying with the front of her dress, my free hand trailing up her thigh. "A-Axel. Mmm, y-you need to-to s-not stop."

"But I want to do it in a bed Jenn." I pulled the front of her dress down and gave her breast a kiss, waiting for her to tell the driver to go back to the mansion, begging that she'd tell him to go back.

"N-no… we have an appointment. We-we have to s-see him." her face was flushed and I was hoping with just a little more teasing that she'd change her mind, that she'd be a weak willed brat and give in, but she was stubborn and hard headed.

"Please Jenn… nice soft bed, you and me. All the pleasure you want and all the time in the world." I grabbed the top of the zipper on her dress, wondering slightly why it zipped up and laced up in the front, but banished the thought as I kissed the skin that was slowly being exposed.

"Axel, we have to go meet the-" she cut herself off as I pulled away, sitting up and just leaving her there, laying on the Bentley seats, her face flushed red and her dress half open down to her belly button. The skirt of the dress was bunched up around her pelvis and I flopped back into my seat trying not to look at her flushed face or her hair splaying out behind her. "Reaper…" she was puzzled I knew, but I wasn't about to give her satisfaction in the back seat if I still had to see the Reaper for it. "Axel?"

"Sorry… just got a uh… bad thought in my head, how about we head in?" the smile was fake and I think she noticed, but I no longer cared. Xemnas had told me I'd never have to see him again, and here his niece was dragging me into his building to spend quality time with him and the girl who must have a delirious thought that I really was her boyfriend or something.

I climbed out of the car and crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at the building I was about to walk into as Luxord got out and opened Jenns door for her once her clothes were back on and she was straightened up. "Axel… I don't think that-"

"Shut it Luxord. I don't want to fucking hear it." I kept my eyes trained on the building, glaring at whoever exited the building and noticing as those who looked at me shrunk away visibly. I had heard his end of the conversation with Xemnas about leaving me alone with the Reaper if he asked for it.

"A-Axel… I'm ready to go in." I looked over to Jenn, realizing that she was nervous too and changed my face so my lips were smiling.

"Alright… sure is bright out here though." she squinted a bit more and nod her head so she'd look less odd walking with a glaring guy into the building I suppose.

It was nerve wracking, Collectors were all over the place a few of them with their weapons, but most had kids with them and were ushering them towards the ten large elevators that I'd once been stuffed into. But instead of Collectors Luxord walked us over to an elevator that was further away then the others, we were ushered inside and the ride up to the top floor was spent in silence.

"Um… Axel, I'm guessing you and the Reaper have lost your playful bant-"

"How's your dog doing? And your sister? I haven't heard nearly enough about them." I gave Jenn a kind smile as I cut her off, clearing my face of all signs of anger towards the Reaper as I allowed my fingers to tap on my leg and allow my breathing to even out again so the Chakrams were moving easily with the steady rise and fall of my chest.

As soon as the elevator doors opened I stopped listening to everything and just froze, the Reaper was standing directly in front of the doors so there was no way I could have missed him. "Jenifer, Axel! Welcome my dears!" Jenn rushed forward and gave him a huge hug as I just stepped out of the elevator and off to the side so I was beside Luxord as they had a small reunion. The Reaper quickly turned from her to me though and held his arms out for a hug and I remained in my place with a slight glare.

"I'm sorry, but I don't hug." I gave a bit of a smile but it was more of a sneer as I just waved.

"Awe, don't be like that Axel… I've missed you, my little protégé." at that line alone I wanted to rip his throat out and burn it.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Four hours of eating a nice dinner that I didn't consume much of, and talking about how much of a 'rebel' I was when Jenn and I where last in the Reapers Palace together. It was really annoying hearing about everything again after I'd lived through it, but they didn't seem to care really that I wasn't interested. Dinner came to a close though and we all sat down in a living room area, I took my lighter out and started fiddling with it as they spoke more about other things that didn't interest me in the slightest.

"Anyhow, you should probably head back Jenn… Axel and I have got a bit of business to take care of." I heard the words, but I just tried to keep my focus on the fire I was holding in front of my face. "I know this sounds odd after so many years, but we really do have unfinished business."

"Alright, I'll see you back at the mansion Axel." I felt a kiss being pressed to my forehead and flicked the Zippo lighter down so it wouldn't catch her hair on fire. I heard the sound of them leaving the floor, Jenn giving me a final goodbye from the elevator as the doors closed.

"So Axel… how about we go into my chambers for a while. I received a new mattress that is oh-so comfy to have fun in. It's also very comfy for the bouncy bed game too." I looked up at the Reaper, his amber eye staring at me, how long had be been missing an eye? The grey streak in his hair was wider then it had been and it was still in a long ponytail behind his back.

I got a sudden idea and gave a bit of a smirk, looking up at the Reaper as he sat down on the arm of the chair I was in. I flicked the lighter open again, not even looking at the flame before flipping it shut and opening my mouth to speak.

"How about not. I don't want you to be just another customer, Xigbar…" the name literally gave me shivers to say "…I want you to be the client that gives me as many firsts as you can. And I've always thought that sex in an alley would be so fucking kinky." I noticed his raised eyebrow and smiled as I stood up, seating myself across his lap and draping my arms over his shoulders so my mouth was close to his ear. "I want you to be the one who shows me everything new Xigbar… to be the one I want to have come back."

"Which alley did you have in mind?" I just smiled as I moved my lips that much closer to his ear so he'd feel my breath and it'd tickle him.

"I have one in mind… I just need you to drive there." as soon as I saw the smirk I knew he'd do it, so I climbed off his lap and stuffed my lighter back into my pocket with a smile on the face, the first genuine smile because of what I had planned.

-.-.-.-

A Half hour drive, and a blow job later I was finally being pushed up against a dirty alleyway wall, garbage around us on the ground and his grunts were there only sound. He nipped at my jaw harshly and I opened my mouth to object but kept it silent and groaned instead. It was dark out and the only light was coming from the glowing neon sign of the back entrance to a fairly large night club.

"Axel… say my name." he ground his hips into mine and I shivered as I opened my mouth to say his name as he wanted, wondering how to actually put my plan into effect. The only thing that I was grateful for was that Luxord had gone with Jenn, her safety more important then mine and keeping me out of the Reapers hands.

"X-Xigbar." the name made me shiver again, but I passed it off as a pleasure shiver as spun around so he was against the wall. It was odd since I was smaller and lithe compared to him, but he didn't seem to protest that much as I ground my hips into his while fisting a bit of his hair.

"Axel… take off your clothes." I clenched my teeth together, biting his tongue harshly in the process and fisted the hair I had in my hand tighter before slamming his head into the concrete behind him.

I slammed his head into the concrete five times before he stopped struggling and slumped down to the ground. He was still groaning in pain and I huffed, kicking at him as he reached for my ankle.

A smirk crossed my face as I reached into my pocket and pulled out my lighter, loving how all the newest suits and hair shampoos were highly flammable, and a man like him, would certainly be in the latest trends. "I'm going to give you one minute, to tell me what twin died Xigbar. Roxas, or Ventus."

He remained silent and as I crouched down beside him, my lighter flame fairly tall, just waiting to be dropped I waited. "Your minute is almost up."

"Roxas… Roxas is the one who died." pain clenched at my chest and I ground my teeth as I stood up straight, sadness flooding me as I tried to steel myself for the simple fact that my life had been ruined because of the man in front of me on the ground.

"You said I was going to be taken under your wing, not that I'd be thrown into the dog fights and given low ass jobs. So, I'll see you in hell when I get there." I took a step back from him once I made sure I had his car keys and dropped the lighter, watching as his form caught fire and he started screaming.

Spinning his car keys on my finger I walked back to his car and answered my ringing phone, trying as hard as I could to keep my emotions in check as I raised it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Axel, you've gone off course, what are you doing?"

"Jut having a bit of fun with Xigbar… but we're done now, he's giving me a car to drive back, think you can give me some directions from my current location back to the mansion?"

"What kind of fun?"

"He wanted to fuck me in an alley, creepy really, but I had to do what you wanted me to, Grimm. Now, how about those directions?" I stuck the key into the lock and slid into the drivers seat as soon as I could, adjusting the seat so I could see everything I needed to.

"Alright…. But I want you back here as soon as possible. Start by heading down the street your on, west of course, then take a left in about a hundred blocks, that street should be a straight shot to us."

"Okay, I'll be there as soon as I can." I ended the call and started the car so I could get moving, taking a moment to look back into the alley and seeing the huge fire still burning, the few people who stopped to watch called the 'good people' who ran things like fire departments and hospitals or medical institutions.

My eyes went wide as the black figure in the middle stood up, the people who had called the fire department were gone now and I ground my teeth together as I put the car into reverse, if fire didn't kill him that easily, at least a car would do it right. I can remember every detail of that moment when I put my foot down on the pedal: the car smelled like his disgusting aftershave, the seat was fairly firm under me and the pedal was very sensitive, my hands were on the wheel at ten and two as I sat up straight, preparing for the airbag to blow out of the steering wheel and hit me on impact like it was supposed to- though I didn't know if it would or not.

The Reaper was flailing in the alley, trying to get the flames out as he yelled and screamed for someone to help. His hair was on fire and clothes, it was hard to just see his face through the flames, but as I got closer his amber eyes caught mine right before I hit him. He'd looked so shocked; his eyes were wide and his mouth went agape. As the car hit him he fell back and the car drove over him completely as I ran over garbage and puddles in the process.

I took a moment to take a deep breath to calm myself before I threw the car into reverse and did the same on my way out of the alley. My heart was racing as I turned west and hit the gas again, slightly disgusted in myself as I looked down at the limp figure, an arm crushed into the ground and his neck in an odd position, but the only thing I would have changed would be having a few sumo wrestlers in the back seat to help.

My nerves were on edge as I drove, getting to the turn and shivering when the road instantly turned into that of a paved road through the forest. I was able to drive for ten minutes on the road but I had to pull off to the side and turn the car off. With all the information I'd been told I couldn't hold it in anymore, and what better place to break down crying then the middle of nowhere inside a car after killing someone.

I curled my legs up to my chest and hid my face from no ones view and allowed the tears to fall: what was the point to it all? Roxas was dead, my mailbox was probably filled with all the checks I'd sent over the years, the last three years of my life had been worthless and I'd been defiled so many times because I thought I was protecting Roxas. Oh god, Roxas was dead and Ventus was still alive… how the hell could I have thought Roxas could kill his own brother? Was that the only thing that I was hoping for? That a sweet and innocent Roxas was capable of murdering his brother like me? He wasn't a murderer, he was sweet and incapable of such things. Those blue eyes will haunt my dreams now, his face. Where I used to find comfort in keeping Sora's company I'll feel only shame and sadness now.

My ringtone started to blare and I reached over to the passenger seat where I had tossed my phone and raised it to my ear, not moving from my crouched position. "What do you want?"

"Why have you been stopped for an hour Axel?"

"I'm out of fucking gas. It shouldn't be that hard to figure out. Just send the stupid Wolves to pick me up you fucking Grimm." I stopped the call and tossed the phone back, never once raising my head.

"He did. I've been here for about five minutes Axel." Luxords voice should have alarmed me, but it didn't since there was no amount of malice at all, just Luxord, calm and relaxed in pretty much every situation. "What's the matter?"

"None of your fucking business. Just take my back." I dried my face with the nice suit sleeve and took a deep breath to calm myself "Cant a guy just break down into tears once in a while."

"Well it's been three years and you haven't yet. I was starting to think you'd finally broke."

"Ha! Like that bitch could break me. I'm Axel O'Riley, got it memorized?" he just shrugged as I climbed out of the car and walked from the Volvo towards the Bentley in the pouring rain, having no idea when it had started and not really caring.

"So Axel… why's the car still got gas if it's out."

"Then something else is wrong with the piece of shit! Do I look like I care about cars?" I climbed into the Bentley and crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for Luxord to get into the front seat beside the driver.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It didn't take long to get back to the mansion and I was ushered right into the house and move up towards my room before seeing Xemnas, taking the earring out of my ear and throwing it to the ground before getting into the one room I knew no one would be in.

"Axel! You're back!" I froze seeing Jenn come rushing at me from the bed. I dodged her as kindly as I could and moved around her.

"I have to take a shower, sorry." I walked into my bathroom and locked the door to make sure she didn't bother. With everything out of my pockets I noticed the two missed texts, one from Danny and the other from Xemnas.

'Axel, once you get home I want you to spend the rest of the night with Jenn. Make her feel loved. Anything bad happens and you'll be-' I stopped reading there, I didn't need to know the rest of the threat. I looked up into the mirror and glared at myself for a bit, my eyes didn't have the same harshness they had before.

"Common Axel, this isn't your end… it's just another bump in the road. Xemnas has been using you for three years, that should be reason enough to fuel the fire. I want to get out of here, I want to go back to my home, there are plenty of reasons to keep fighting!" I fisted my hands on the counter and stood up straight and heard my spine pop a few times as I put my façade back into place and pulled my shirt off, letting out a sigh, knowing that I'd have to put on the best act of my life to not get thrown into the basement and be forgotten about.

Taking a deep breath I walked back into the bedroom and noticed Jenn sitting on the bed with a scowl, her arms crossed over her chest, her head snapped away from me as I walked towards her.

"Jenn… do you really hold that against me love? I apologize, but I just hate the smell of the Reapers Palace. And I feel like I'm soaked in it." I sat down beside her and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck, just behind her ear where I'd found one of her weak spots.

"Well you were still rude Axel. How could you be that inconsiderate. I was just happy to see you." why always me? What the hell is so nice about seeing me that gets everyone happy and makes them smile?

"I apologies… if you want, I can make it up to you. I think a hot shower would be a good thing to share right now." I pressed another kiss to her neck and nipped a bit, hearing her let out a giggle as I started on another light hickey that wouldn't last the rest of the night.

"Alright Axel… I guess a shower never hurt anyone." normally I liked quick showers, just to get in and out so I could be clean, unfortunately I kind of figured that a shared shower would last fairly long.

"Okay, would you mind going and getting the water started, I have to check back in with your uncle." she nod her head and skipped into the bathroom, all I could really remember about it though was 'stupid easy bitch'.

I left the room and got to the top of the stairs before Saïx pushed me against the closest wall and held me there by my throat. "Get your ass back into that room and don't come out until noon tomorrow. Xemnas is about ready to kill you because of that stunt you pulled with the car." I froze, did they not know about the Reaper yet?

"Alright. Give him my regards." I pushed his hand off my neck and stalked back to my room, fearful and frightful of what would happen to me if Xemnas was just pissed about my mishap with the car.

**AN:**

**Me: I know this chapter is a little short for what they've normally been, but I think this is a good place to end it.**

**Axel: I killed Xigbar… YES! I KILLED THE REAPER, I KILLED THE REAPER!**

**Roxas: wow… that's harsh, anyhow, do you know what's happening in the next chapter yet?**

**Me: I've got my ideas, but I'm not promising anything. So here's Sora!**

**Sora: thank you all for reading, we'd love to hear what you think about this fiction thus far! Reading reviews makes us all smile a lot (I think that's from 101 Dalmatians 2, Patches London Adventure [I wanted to put where the quote was from]) anyhow, have a good day and Be a Rebel and HAVE FUN! =^_^=**


	9. Chapter 8

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Eight**

'_**Winged time glides on insensibly, and deceive us; and there is nothing more fleeting then years.'**_**- Ovid**

(slight word of advice, if you listen to the song _Almost Lover_, by _A Fine Frenzy_, after the italic section, it'll add good effects to the reading of the chapter)

When I woke up the day after I was alone, the bed sheets were crumpled a bit and Luxord was sitting on the couch like he usually was when I woke up alone. "Xemnas wants to see you downstairs once yours dressed and everything." the smile on his face was something that concerned me, but aside from that, I just nod my head and threw the blankets off of me so I could get dressed at least in a pair of slacks before going down to see Xemnas.

"Alright… do I get time for a shower first?"

"Nope, he wants to see you as soon as yours dressed." I let out a sigh and nod as I pulled the pair of black slacks up my legs and ran my hand through my hair, feeling a braid and feeling anger boil in my stomach.

"Bitch! She put fucking braids in my hair?" I ran my fingers over the braid taking it out, being more fucking pissed then I'd been in a while. I hated when people touched my hair, but having someone play with it and me not waking up? Why the hell hadn't I woke up? I was always one of those kids that could hear a pin drop and wake up because of it.

"Relax… she didn't do much before she had to leave. And luckily for you, you wont ever have to see her again. Xemnas didn't like the idea that she was falling for you, so he's never letting her come back. Now hurry up, your being so slow." I just rolled my eyes and pulled my pants up so I could just walk down to wherever Xemnas was.

"Alright, follow me." Luxord motioned for me to follow him, as if what he said didn't give me enough of a hint or anything. The hard wood floor of the hallway was cold to my bare feet, but I ignored it since my body temperature was always higher then the others in the house. I wondered slightly why Xemnas spent so much time here instead of at all his other Boggles, but this one did bring in the most money, so why not, it'd be in his best interest to watch over those of us in the expensive house wouldn't it?

Luxord lead me outside towards the patio in the back, Xemnas was sitting under a large umbrella, Saïx beside him and a few other of the Leeches were hanging around. I looked around for the others that the Leeches looked after but I couldn't see any of them as I sat down where Xemnas pointed, wondering if he'd discovered that I killed the Reaper and was going to have them kill me (Leeches were lower then Wolves by the way, they had to take care of two or more of the lower-class kickers).

I stretched out a bit to allow my chest to catch some sun as I looked at Xemnas and Saïx, watching as the blue haired man's eyes roved over me the way they usually did.

"Go get him his present Luxord." Xemnas sounded almost happy and I turned my eyes on him, wondering what the hell my present was going to be, that small child inside me that hadn't had a present since my parents, came to life for a moment before I realized that it was Xemnas and I shouldn't be happy about a present he's giving me.

"Axel, I've decided that after three, almost four years of your service for me, it's time I actually give you something but a customer. It may be because I just got a huge amount of money, or the fact that Jenn likes you so and I feel the need to thank you for playing along with her little fantasy, but in short, I'm giving everyone in this house a treat, and you are the last, and possibly most important.

"I know you hate it here, and you're certainly not about to go around and abuse this new found privilege." his smile was creepy and I refrained from turning around as I heard Luxord approaching. "So go ahead, have fun with it and don't come whining to me if something happens and you don't know what to do." Xemnas waved me off and I stood up to leave, only to stop when I saw Luxord standing with one fairly small puppy in his hands, no bigger then his head as he held it out towards me.

"Here you go kid… a Great Dane. Give him a name and the whole shebang." Luxord was smiling brightly and I just raised an eyebrow, wondering what the catch was as I looked from Luxord to Xemnas as the tall blonde man set the puppy in my hands and I held him to my chest so I wouldn't drop him.

"What's the catch. Nothing is a gift with you Xemnas. For my birthday you simply give me a cupcake and say I don't have to work that night. I'm not buying this." the Great Dane yapped- simply because it was too small to make another sound -and I allowed my thumb to stroke it's side as I glared at the silver haired man who was doing nothing but sincerely smiling.

"Consider it a sort of redemption. I shouldn't have allowed Xigbar to do anything to you, and taking you to an alley surely wasn't the plan. It's a shame he's dead- really it is. But he deserved it, it's horrid how he was found charred and crushed in an alley. They don't know what happened to him, they didn't find anyone who'd seen him before it happened. But this is an apology for all those horrid customers. The only catch is, you have to raise him and train him, and if he wrecks the furniture, it's coming out of your pay. I'll take care of his food and I'll take care of his medical." I scowled, but it was a hard offer to pass up as he caught my pointer finger in it's mouth and started sucking.

"And I'm allowed to take him on walks on the estate?" I'd learned the way to talk to Xemnas about the mansion, I couldn't call it a Boggle and I couldn't call it a compound, therefore, I called it a mansion or estate.

"Yes of course. I wouldn't give you a high activity dog if I didn't want you to let it walk anywhere. So please, go take him anywhere on the property and get to know him, give him a name and I'll let Luxord take you to a pet shop for supplies that you'll need. Just keep in mind he'll be a big responsibility." for all I knew he wanted me to stop 'plotting against him' and just occupy my mind with something he approved of: taking care of something other then the others in the house since I was the main reason none of them were broken yet.

"Alright… I guess." I looked down at the small white Great Dane puppy, it's pink nose and barely opened eyes looked dazzling, but I could tell they were gold like a wolf's, so I started thinking of names as I stood there.

"I still don't understand this superior, he killed the Reaper! And you're giving him a puppy. What kind of messed up logic is-"

"Axel has been a good employee for years, besides… there is no proof he killed the Reaper. Unless you have some kind of proof I don't know about Saïx."

"But Xemnas, you always used to talk about breaking him, how the hell is a puppy going to do that?"

"Saïx, my dear, stupid Saïx… I know when I've been bested. And I know what would be best for my business, after three- almost four -years now, breaking Axel is not what I want, he's much more valulable unbroken and fiery. Now, be a good little pet of mine and go get me a vodka martini. Besides, who cares if he killed someone? No one liked the Reaper as it is."

"What happened to 'If you cant take the kid out of the fight, you take the fight out of the kid'!" Saïx looked absolutely livid as he stood up and turned to leave so he could get Xemnas the martini- a fairly girly drink if you ask me.

"Answer me this though Xemnas: why am I still here, if Roxas is dead?"

"No one knows which twin died, but as it is they've been off the grid since the incident. You're here now, because you're roped too far into this lifestyle. You don't have anywhere else to turn, you don't know how to go about getting another job, you don't know how to go about doing anything. Besides… if you leave, Sora, Demyx, Zexion… and even Xion, would have to take over your clients." his voice was so clear and precise that I knew it was a threat to the other people that I've grown close to: I really should have remained an insensitive jackass- it would have been better if I had I suppose.

"Fine then… as long as I know who your targeting, we'll be fine- oh, and whoever Xion had as a client the night before last… I want to know what I can do about taking them off her hands, or buying them off." it hadn't been uncommon for me to offer that, expectably in Xion's case, she'd never had the opportunity to go to the Reaper to even try and get a better job, she didn't even have a license to get a job at all- unless it was black market stuff.

"Really? How odd, but I'm afraid that cant happen, the person who was her customer no longer walks the earth." I raised an eyebrow and Xemnas only smirked as he mouthed the word 'Reaper' my blood boiled for a moment before all sympathy and horribleness I felt about killing him vanished.

"Well then in that case, I'll see you around… have to go name my dog and all." I felt stupid for allowing myself to be manipulated by Xemnas again, this time he was threatening people who had become my life line. No one knew that I kept strong because of the four people I'd grown close to.

Luxord didn't seem bothered too much as I walked around, he obviously knew that I'd killed the Reaper, he'd obviously blamed himself for not being there since he could have and would have stopped it. But the fact that he took Jenn back to the mansion without me, well that was just a stoke of luck that was in my favor.

"Axel! Hey, are you still busy, Xion really needs to- oh my god is that a puppy?" Sora ran a kilometer in less then ten seconds I'm sure. He was suddenly standing in front of me making kissy faces at the still nameless puppy- my brain was having trouble coming up with names, I was down to a few options and was narrowing it down by the second.

"Oh my god.. It's so fucking cute! Please, please, please, please, please tell me he's yours and you're allowed to keep him!" he made to grab the Great Dane but I held him out of Sora's grasp as Demyx came over next, towing Zexion behind him by his coat sleeve.

"Yes he's mine, yes I'm keeping him, no you cant have him and no I don't have a name yet, and I certainly will not let you name him." I could see his face sadden slightly as I shot down him naming the puppy but I figured trying a subject change would be good. "What where you saying about Xion, Sora?" he pried his attention away from the puppy long enough to raise his hand to his chin and stroke the nonexistent beard a few times as he thought.

"Oh right! She's been really down since fruit-for-breakfast day… she needs you to talk to. Me and Demyx have tried… but she just starts crying. I don't think she's doing too good." asshole! He should have told me instead of gawking over the puppy!

"You twat! Why didn't you tell me sooner?" they all knew I thought of Xion as a sister, and for all I knew I could have been using her to replace Lilly, but still, she had been needing to talk to me and Sora had wasted precious minutes? That was unacceptable, especially when I'm the only of us four boys in our group that knows she's tried to kill herself before.

"Where is she Sora?"

"She's over by the lake… she told me and Demyx to leave her alone when we tried to talk to her." I ground my teeth together and kicked into a run, having set the puppy in Luxords arms and kicking myself into an all out dash towards the lake.

"Xion!" the only thing that'd been running through my mind was the last time I'd caught her trying to do it, a really horrible experience for me, and probably even worse for her.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_I'd been worried for a few days, it had been a week since her last attempt, and Xemnas had given me yet another threat that if I let it spill to the others that I'd be the 'next to go' as in they'd kill me- there biggest money bag, who've thunk it. Xion always slept better when I was there when she fell asleep, something about needing a comforting person around so she could feel safe- and I totally understood. There was a while after my first night that Luxord had to be in the room, even to that day if Luxord wasn't there when I woke up I'd freak out on the inside. But that was the difference between me and everyone else: I hid my emotions under layers and layers of attitude and witty comebacks, while most of their emotions were hidden under one or two layers, in Xion's case, no layers at all._

_ I'd been walking outside, Luxord was just a little ways off because I liked to mumble songs and he found it annoying- only making me want to do it more. My hands had been in my pockets and I'd just been looking up at the clouds as I sang or hummed, or did whatever I did._

_ I heard a slight curse and figured it was nothing more then Luxord hitting his head on a branch or something as he played with his phone. There was another curse and a yelp as there was a splash._

_ My eyes snapped open as I recognized the yelp as Xions and I turned my head in the direction it came from: the lake. I had run as quickly as I could, the water was still unsettled as I got there, seeing her figure underneath the ripples and bubbles rising to the surface._

_ It had taken my mind all of two seconds to jump into the water after her. I opened my eyes and saw her, eyes closed tightly and her arms wrapped around herself like she was shivering as bubbles slowly leaked from her nose and her mouth. She had tied a rock to her ankle, heavy enough to drag even a life preserver down I supposed. I swam over and started yanking at the rope that was tied tightly around the rock and her ankles. I felt her hands trying to pull me off but I refused to stop, even as she weakened._

_ I hand reached for a rock and I grabbed it, thankful that she hadn't been able to throw the rock too deep as I started sawing at the rope with the rock. I felt so desperate as I worked away at it, I could feel someone else jump into the water but ignored it since they didn't bother trying to pull me away, they were more concerned with Xion. If her stupid Wolf had been more attentive she wouldn't be able to attempt to commit suicide._

_ I had finally sawed through the rope so the other person- Luxord -and I pulled her to the surface. I climbed onto the dock and pulled her up after me, starting right away on some of the CPR that Vexen had taught me- thankfully by using a dummy._

_ The second she came back I fell over her in a hug, my heart was still pounding and I was scared until she came back, her face had already started to loose color when we'd gotten her out of the water and I was scared that I'd loose her like I lost Lilly._

_ "Axel… you should have let me go… I don't want to live." she started crying but she hugged me back. "I'm not worth living Axel. If this is what my life will be, then I don't want it. Give my slot in life to someone who better deserves it."_

_ That statement had just made me angry and I sat up, grabbing her face and forcing her to look at me. "Xion, Xion listen to me… no matter what others say; your not worthless. You've never been worthless! No matter how many times you try and run away, I'll always be there to bring you back!"_

_ "But, what if I don't want to come back? What if all your bringing me back to is torture? Axel… let me go, I beg you."_

_ "No! If bringing you back means torturing you, just remember: you've been strong enough to withstand all they've thrown at you for this long, and it cant get worse. You are letting them win if you die Xion! I'll be there to bring you back!"_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I'm not sure if something else was said or if more words were exchanged, but by the time that my mind stopped replaying those words and that scene, I was on the docks, the water was still already and I dove right in, knowing she probably would have thrown the rock farther if she could.

I snapped my eyes, open, feeling the sting of the fairly clear fresh water as I swiveled my head to find her. She was fairly far off, her arms tightly wrapped around herself again and a much thicker rope tying her to the rock in several places. I swam over and crushed my lips to hers, forcing air into her lungs that she just blew out again.

I surfaced for another lungful, my heart pounding as I saw Luxord give the puppy to Sora and jump in after me, yelling for Demyx and Zexion to do something. I swam back down and forced another lungful of air into her lungs. She held this one for a moment or two before letting it out. Luxord was down trying to rip through the rope to get rid of it, but the rock was too far down to grab another to cut it. Zexion pressed the next air kiss to her lips but she expelled the air almost as soon as his lips parted from hers.

I surfaced again for more air, catching a glimpse of Sora yelling to a running Demyx as he didn't know what to do with the puppy. I dove back down and gave Xion more air before lowering myself to help Luxord. I used the rope to pull myself down to the rock it was tied around and for a moment I wondered how she managed to carry it as I rummaged my hand around to grab a rock to cut with.

Air was becoming needed and I pushed off from the bottom and grabbed a lungful of air. As I dove back down Zexion was giving her more air and all I could see of her was a pale figure, her body was going limp and the image of my baby sister flashed in my vision. I grabbed her ankle and lowered so my teeth were on the rope and began chewing through it since there was nothing better that could have helped. Both Zexion and Luxord were switching between giving her air now and I was the only hope for getting her unattached before we lost her.

With every bite I made I was getting more and more scared that we weren't going to make it, I was getting weaker because I was holding my breath so long and I'm sure that Luxord and Zexion were getting light headed.

My heart was pounding, trying to get more oxygen through my body and just before I had to stop to take in another lungful of air the rope snapped and all four of us resurfaced.

I slunk my arm around Xions waist and pulled her out of the water, taking gulps of air for myself as I climbed onto the deck once again and started CPR. Sora ran over and started asking if she was alright, if she was going to live. I pushed him out of the way and tried as hard as I could to push air into her lungs.

"Common Xion, Common!" her lips were paling and she didn't have a pulse but I didn't want to give up, every time I pushed down on her chest to beat her heart for her all I could see was Lilly, almost blue and dead as I carried her to my thicket in Ireland.

"Axel, she's gone… Axel stop. Axel!" Luxord pulled me off her and held me back as I tried to move forward again.

"Xion!" Sora was crying, holding my puppy to his chest and Zexion was kneeling on the other side of Xion, gently removing the ropes from her ankles and folded her arms over her chest. "I said I'd bring you back!" Luxord let me go and I fell forward, holding myself up above her. Tears were wanting to spill from my eyes as one moment I saw her and the next I saw Lilly. "Xion… why'd you have to do this? I was coming to talk." my hair had fallen limp because of the water as I lowered my head so our foreheads were touching, she was already cold as ice and I couldn't stop the tears from wanting to fall- I held them in though.

"Xion… why?" I sat myself back and ran my hands through my hair, trying as hard as I could to stop the tears from falling as I saw Sora crying, my puppy down on the ground beside him, crawling towards me. I reached out and grabbed him up as Demyx came back with Vexen, Lexaeus, Xemnas and Saïx.

"Luxord, get Axel and Zexion back into the mansion and dried off before they catch cold. Vexen and Saïx get her out of here. Lexaeus, take Sora and Demyx back to their rooms."

"No!" Sora stood up and tried to run passed me but I grabbed him in my free hand and pulled him down beside me, ignoring his pained whimper and looked up at Xemnas with a bit of a glare. I blamed him completely, of course I did, but if Sora or Demyx were alone at that moment I didn't know what would happen.

"It's fine. They can stay with us… nothing bad will happen, I promise." Xemnas glared for a moment, looking me over as I glared at him, but nod his head in agreement.

Sora was clinging to my arm the entire way to our rooms, Zexion and I were ushered into the bathroom to get warmed up and I left my still unnamed puppy with them, glad that the small puppy could make them slightly happier.

"What are we going to do Axel… it's not like Xemnas will give us a moment alone now."

"No, we're fine. So long as we don't seem suicidal." I didn't want to tell him about the previous times I'd stopped her. The shower was basically an entire wall in the bathroom, lined with shower heads and temperature taps. I ran my hands through my hair, feeling the grime from the lake and deciding to grab some of the shampoo from the dispenser and started rubbing it through my hair.

"How can you say that? Did you see your own face? _Do_ you see your own face? You look horrible, your eyes are red and puffy, your nose is running a bit and-"

"I'm fucking sad alright? Are you happy? This is what I look like when I'm sad Zexion! One of my only friends left on this earth is DEAD and I cant do ANYTHING about it! How am I supposed to feel? Like going out and celebrating? No! she killed herself and I feel like I could have stopped it- I should have stopped it! I should have been there to protect her and I wasn't! Lilly didn't deserve to-" I cut myself off there, I hadn't meant to utter her name, and it's the only time her name passed my lips outside that house back in Ireland.

Zexions eyes went wide and he opened his mouth to ask, but didn't bother as I turned my back on him in the communal shower and started rubbing the shampoo into my scalp before attacking my arms and torso with the body soap.

Getting back into my room I noticed that both Demyx and Sora were sleeping on the bed and my puppy was still awake between them. "So Axel… have you figured out his name yet?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking Lumier… the name seems to work." I crawled onto the bed to the top right corner and let out a sigh as I pulled Lumier towards me so he was curled in the crook my body made. "Might as well climb in and get some shut eye Zexion… I think tomorrow's going to be a long day."

"How can you sleep after what just happened?"

"I killed a man last night Zexion, the number of people I've seen die has just increased by one. I can sleep fine… unless you want liquor? I've got beer, and probably could get some hard stuff if I asked for it."

"Nah, Demyx doesn't like it when I drink… I tend to black out." I nod my head in understanding and closed my eyes a bit, keeping the candles burning just to make sure that if any of the others woke up they'd know how to find stuff or if I woke up I'd be able to look into calm flames.

All I could remember was silently crying that night, stroking Lumier every now and then when he started to stir in his own sleep. He started whining for food sometime in the early morning and I let out a sigh getting up out of bed, stopping for a moment to admire how cute Zexion and Demyx looked before going down into the kitchen to get something for him to drink out of- hopefully a bottle or a bowl.

I slipped down into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl, Lumier in my arms. "Alright…. Ugh, do you drink milk still? Or do you eat food?" I spent a moment sitting on the island of the kitchen, the bowl and jug of milk beside me, Lumier in my lap. "Okay, lets figure it out this way." I lifted Lumier in one hand and gently nudged his mouth open a bit to see if he had teeth and if so what kind of teeth they were.

"He needs milk, from a bottle. Xemnas was an ass and took him before he was weaned. If you want, I'll take you to the store to get some stuff for him now if you want."

"Uh, can you help me just get him fed first?" Luxord nod his head and walked over and took the bowl back before grabbing a bottle from the same cupboard and walked over.

"So Axel… have you given him a name yet?"

"Yeah, Lumier." I watched everything that Luxord was doing, but remained quiet as I thought about the events of the last thirty six hours or so. The number of people I'd seen die had gone up: from nine to eleven. It wasn't fair, Roxas was gone, Xion was gone, Sora and Demyx were devastated, and I feel like I could have stopped it.

"Here, give him this then go upstairs and get dressed. Oh, and stop being the rock Axel… you don't need to be their big brother." now that was rich, how the hell could I not watch out for them? They were the closest thing I had to family, didn't that mean I had to protect it?

"Whatever Luxord."

"No, I've seen it a bunch of times, the strong one always falls because of the weaker ones. It doesn't make you stronger to protect the weak, they drag you down and make you weaker too." I just shrugged as I raised the bottle to Lumier's mouth as I walked back up to my room so I could get ready to go out and get him some supplies to make him more comfortable.

"Axel… what're you doing up?" I looked to the side and noticed that it was only six o'clock in the morning.

"Oh… Lumier woke me up. Luxord is going to take me out to get some stuff for him though. How are you doing?"

"I'm alright… Demyx and Sora woke up a few minutes ago, they just went back to bed. They had a nightmare about Xion." I nod my head and handed Lumier off to Zexion as he motioned to take him. "I'm not sure if their going to be able to bounce back from this Axel."

"They'll be fine eventually… I'm sure of it… are you going to be alright though?"

"I couldn't do anything Axel, how do you think I feel? I feel like fucking shit!" Lumier whimpered in his arms and I let out a sigh as I buttoned up a pair of black skinny jeans so I could take him back.

"Zexion, is there anything I can-"

"No Axel! There is nothing you can do! I don't need someone to coddle me and tell me it's going to be fine. I need time to think it all through! I cant be like you, I can't kill someone and be fine the next day. I cant watch a friend die and be alright." he looked close to hysterics as he gripped his hair and sat down on the foot of the bed.

"Zexion… if I leave, are you going to be alright?"

"No! No I wont be alright, because then I'll have to be the rock and I cant do that! I don't have emotional ties to Sora and I cant just up and make them!"

"Zexion, I mean if I go to the store."

"How can you make everything so SIMPLE?"

I let out a sigh and gave a bit of a smile, he was so simple sometimes. "Zexion… if you over think things then all you'll ever do is think. There are some cases, when you just need to remember the good. Don't remember how the person died, but remember the good experiences. Remember the good things that happened, the good experiences."

"I cant do that though."

"Then your doomed Zexion. Doomed to remember all the bad and forget the good." on the inside I was still crying, my chest was tight and I felt like I was going to go crazy if one more person said she was dead.

"Axel… can I ask you a question?"

"Shoot."

"Who is Lilly? You said her name in the bathroom and I just wanted to-"

"No one. It was just a name that slipped out." he didn't push the subject, and it was the only thing I was really appreciative about because if he had kept prying, I might have broken completely.

**AN:**

**Me: thank you all for reading! I think I've finally got the angst into it! ^o^**

**Axel: that was really fucking mean. sure, I know you don't like Xion that much- but you like her more then Sora, don't you?**

**Me: No. the order of KH characters I like (in order) are you(Axel) Roxas, Sora, Demyx. Kairi and Namine fall last, Riku is neither high nor low on my list (the Soriku pairing kinda pisses me off just because I think Riku is a stupid bitch [but I digress]) the rest of the characters I don't really care about (But my favorite number is now 1389 because of KH)!**

**Axel: wow… you really need to get your priorities straight.**

**Me: they are straight: finish this fic, think of another fic (Possibly Hunger Games crossover) Cosplay, going to watch movies, possibly get a boyfriend for the summer (Doubt that though, guys seem to be scared of tall girls that've got a bite) practice my Bass Clarinet since I've spent a year and a half away from it, and next year I shall work more on school( also maybe get a book published) I know what I'm doing with my life thank you!**

**Roxas: why'd you write that all out here? I doubt people are still reading because of that.**

**Me: people don't read these things anyways. Anyhow, take it away Sora!**

**Sora: thank you for reading and we'd love to hear your comments (even if they are to yell at Elizabeth for being such a derp and rambling about her life) we hope you come back for the next chapter, have a good time and make some fun! =^_^=**


	10. Chapter 9

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Nine**

'_**Where the nightingale doth sing; Not a senseless, tranced thing, But divine melodious truth.'**_**- John Keats**

Five months, it sounded like such a long time, and it might have been. The five months were nothing but a blur to me, my days went normally once I got into the rhythm with Lumier beside me. We went for daily walks, usually accompanied by Demyx, Sora and Zexion. He was good for us, kept us all happy and when those dark moments did pop up, he never let me fall as far as I wanted to.

Saïx was right, I hadn't stopped myself from being broken, I just deteriorated over time until there was nothing left but a shell and a bit of willpower left hidden inside. On my fifteenth birthday I was given a German Shepherd puppy that I'd named Cerberus, he was pretty good, Lumier took the alpha role between the two though. That was three years ago though, and as far as I'm concerned, my story is done for now, nothing new has happened in a long time, I mean: I'm eighteen, shouldn't something else have happened with my life aside from just reading books with my dogs or sex that I don't want? I don't have the mental stability to write about the rest of what's happened to me over the four years I haven't mentioned, because I haven't mentioned any events for various important reasons.

My hand is hurting, and I'm calling this stupid book quits. I tried, I really have. I just cant find it in me though: what is the point of a book written from the point of view of some stupid whore that is stuck? I'll never be able to run enough, I'll never be able to run from what I've been turned into. Xemnas has control over my life and I'm broken, my name is Axel O'Riley, and I'm nothing more then a broken and empty shell now, nothing can change that.'

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I let out a sigh as I set the pen down, a stack of over two hundred pages is on my desk, Lumier and Cerberus are sleeping on the ground beside my desk, the top of it covered in paper and candles. I still love looking at fire- it's one thing that hasn't changed, but another thing that I cant stand, something that has kept the small fire burning in me, is the fact that I hate Xemnas.

Zexion and Demyx are gone, Demyx had gotten a really harsh customer one night and was crying… normally our rooms are sound proofed, but Xemnas had wanted some entertainment that night and decided to flip that one little switch that allowed sound to travel as freely as it normally would. Zexion had gotten pissed and couldn't keep his cool, he would've been able to help Demyx through it after words but his temper and emotions got the best of him. He went running un, tackled the guy and got his head hit on the nightstand. Vexen told us he died instantly, but from the groans of pain I heard and the stomping of a foot I knew that wasn't what happened.

Unfortunetly with Zexion gone Demyx saw that he no longer had a reason to live, I found him in the bathroom, wrists slit and his blood looking more like liquid copper as it slid down the drain with the running hot water that was pouring down on him.

I don't even think Lumier and Cerberus can bring back the kid I once was, the kid who intimidated adults and sat in the Reapers chair. I'll never be that boy who walked down the streets with a glare on his face because I didn't like the smell of the streets- hell, I cant even remember what city streets smell like.

This stupid book was supposed to be a slap in the face to Xemnas, a slap in the face and me screaming at the top of my lungs that 'YOU HAVENT BROKEN ME YET' but now, as I read over and look over the pages, all it's whimpering is 'I'm broken, you've finally won so do away with me.' my parents never said life was fair, but they said it could be good. I still wear their pendants around my neck, to try and keep that fire living and meaningful… but it just doesn't seem to matter anymore.

Luxord has been watching me like a hawk for the past year and a half since Demyx committed suicide, not even allowed to take a piss without having him in the room, and it's not much better for Sora. He went into a bit of depression and having Demyx the one dead, well that didn't help. Luckily for him he was getting out. Riku had taken a particular interest in him, and since the silver haired boy I'd once teased and taunted had more money then balls, he is in the process of buying Sora off Xemnas' hands.

It's good for him I'm sure, but once the week is up, I'll no longer have a companion aside from my dogs who cant talk back, and Luxord who will only give the answers I want to hear.

I look to Luxord, laying out on the couch in my room, his arms crossed under his head as a pillow and his long black coat that all the Wolves started wearing a year ago over him as a blanket instead of the blanket that was draped over the back of the couch.

The decor in my room has changed yet again also; no more flaming red sheets, now just black silk, the curtains coming down from the canopy are black lace and all in all it looks like something out of a vampire book. I've unscrewed all but one light bulb that I rarely use because I find no reason for the light because I have so many candles.

There is a knock on my door and Cerberus wakes up with a bit of a bark, getting right to his feet and stirring Lumier in the process. "Relax boy. I've got it." one thing that Xemnas doesn't know about the two dogs though, is that I've have both their tracking chips that he put in them removed and fitted into a sleeve that I sewed into their collars as soon as I'd gotten them. The veterinarian who had done it was concerned about it, but because the chips hadn't been in place long he did it, and there were no scars from it either.

"Hello?" I open the door and see Sora standing outside the door, his hands wringing at the front of his shirt and I can see Lexaeus out of the corner of my eye. "What's up Sora? Cant sleep?" I look back and see my digital clock, reading three in the morning.

"I-I ha-had a nightmare." he needn't say anymore. I open the door further and pull him into a hug. Nightmares have been plaguing him since what happened to Xion, Zexion and Demyx just made them all more horrible for him. He buries his head in my shoulder and I let out a sigh as I stroke the crazy array of brown spikes that are soft to the touch.

"Alright Sora. Common in." Lexaeus stayed outside since Luxord was in here and I lead Sora over to the bed, freshly cleaned sheets that I haven't even sat down on since making the bed. "Get some sleep."

"Aren't you going to sleep?"

"Not right now, I'm uh… working on it again."

"Really? How far are you?"

"Not far at all… I'm giving up." Sora lets out a sigh as he crawls into the left side of my bed.

"You shouldn't Axel… you're good at writing! You shouldn't give it up Axel."

"Get some sleep Sora. I promise, I wont throw the pages out." Sora nods his head and snuggles down into the sheets. "C'mon boys, up you get." I jerk my head towards the bed and both dogs hop up and sprawl themselves out since I still sleep in a ball on the top right corner.

"Goodnight Axel. Get some sleep soon." Sora wrapped his arm around Cerberus' fluffy neck and closed his eyes to sleep.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Strobe lights, darkness, the wave and movement of moving bodies and arms grabbing at me. My hips grind randomly and hands slide down my chest, covered in florescent paint of random doodles and squiggles that Sora thought would look good. He's currently dancing in the corner of the club with Riku, basically screwing on the dance floor as I dance around and kiss with random strangers.

Moments like this, moments where anyone can grab me and steal me away, they might be the only thing I live for now. I never know if a hand is going to grab at me too harshly and try to pull me out of the building.

"Axel!" the voice is small but I'm choosing to not pay attention to whoever is calling it until I'm grabbed by my left shoulder and spun around. I've only had a few drinks, but it's enough to make me a little dizzy. "Axel… what're you doing here?" it takes a moment with the darkness and the blinking lights but my eyes are slowly focusing on the figure.

"Namine?" she's been a customer of mine for a while, apparently the arranged marriage she was forced into about a year ago had pissed her off. "What're you doing here?" we are alright friends, she has paid for hours on end so we could just talk, and I found it alright since I didn't have to screw her. I grab her hand and spin her before starting a bit of a samba since the music has turned Latin and the dance floor is dividing into couples.

"Alright… got anyone you're with tonight?"

"Would I be humping people on the dance floor at random if I did?" she only giggled at the crude humor, what I did was much more refined then that, but basically it's what I was doing, and apparently she loves that 'honest quality' in me.

"Of course not… think you could take me home? I don't want to be around my husband tonight." I shrug and spin her around and dip her.

"Why not? I'd much rather bring you back then someone else." Her smile is so genuine that every time I see it I cant help but want to smile too. She's another person that reminds me of him, that far off memory I've held onto for dear life. I don't know why I keep his face buried so deep I could go into a philosophical discussion and a psychological discussion to contradict myself, but that wont help me get to the answer.

I lift Namine up and press a light kiss to the back of her hand, liking the fact I can show someone genuine kindness without them having to buy it from me. "I'll be right back, have to go let Sora know I wont be around to watch him and his bo. I'll meet you by the door, or outside?"

"Outside, it's really stuffy in here." I can see the blush on her cheeks, but until this moment I had thought it was one of those 'he's really close to me blushes' since I am- apparently -naturally good at bringing those out of people. I watch as she turns towards the door and slides between the two well built bouncers before starting to dance and weave my way across the dance floor to find Sora.

I press a kiss to somebody's lips before letting them go and slinking away, most people are so stoned in here or their just passed being three sheets to the wind. Most people think that the name 'Death House' is just for show, but at least three people die a night of drug overdoses or getting into fights and being killed. It's a cutthroat place- unless your someone like me who knows how to stay under the radar but still get your job done right.

My lips pull into a smile as I see the bright silver hair that reflects every color the lights throw at it, knowing that Sora is pinned in front of that figure against the wall, most likely being molested in a good way by the silver haired ex-client of mine. I'm getting an idea and decide to go through with it- what's the worst Riku can do, punch me?

I tap his left shoulder powerfully enough so he'll pay attention and smirk as he pulled away from Sora and looks in the direction, turning back and going to kiss Sora with a slight scowl for being interrupted. Before their lips meet again I grab his head and pull him to the side, pressing a wet sloppy kiss to his cheek as he starts to flail.

"OPA!" I let him go and the room yells it back, I doubt anyone is Greek, or even knows what it means, but Riku's glaring daggers at me as I stand in place and wipe my lips as the song changes to another up beat rave kind of song. The lights instantly react and I'm lost in Death House before I realize once again that Riku is yelling at me.

"You fucking ass-wipe! What gives you the right to-" I clap my hand over his mouth to make him stop, pulling his face so my hand is almost the only thing separating us as Sora just stares at us with wide eyes.

"Listen up Riku, because this is of the utmost importance. In nine point four seconds, I'm going to let you go, and then there is a tall green haired man who is going to try and take Sora into the lavatory for a 'recreational activity' then in eight point six seconds, I'm going to leave the building with Luxord and go back to the house. You should have Sora home by midnight so he can get some sleep at some point."

Riku pulls my hand off his mouth and starts shouting at me again (Because it's a common occurrence) "You just wasted a minute of my fucking time… to tell me to have Sora home by midnight? Where do you live, Cinderella?"

"No but that'd be great… and in all fairness, I also warned you about him." I stand up straight, removing myself from him completely and point towards the bathroom where Sora is being lead inside in his drunken state, the green haired boy looking devious.

"Fuck!" Riku turns away from me and runs off to get the brunette that I wouldn't have let get hurt if Riku hadn't noticed- though in reality it's my fault for distracting Riku. I take a moment to lock eyes with Lexaeus, making sure he's keeping vigilant and he nods before moving off to watch over the brunette.

I turn towards the door and bump into Luxord, our chests are finally the same height and I think I might even be an inch or two taller- bonus -though it's most likely just because my hair looks like a mix between a fireball and lions mane- a few people have called me Simba and gotten black eyes for it. "Are you leaving now, because Namine is still waiting for you."

"I know, the question is: are you coming?" I pass around him easily, and weave my way through the crowd easily as Luxord's following. The crowd doesn't move for me, but they part like he's infected since his arms are locked over his chest and he's scowling. Giving off that 'I'm a Wolf' kind of aura.

I open the front door and notice that Namine isn't directly outside. "Oi, have you seen a girl, she's about this tall, platinum blonde hair, big blue eyes, looks like a doe?" I'm addressing the bouncer but he isn't replying so I scuff the back of his head with the heel of my hand. "Where's the blonde chick?" his eyes go wide and Luxord pulls me back a bit so I'm not smothering the bouncer.

"Wh-what blonde?"

"The one I just described?" Hastings Street, how many problems have I had on this stupid fucking street after dark? But all the good clubs and bars are here. "Short, platinum blonde, big blue eyes and she looks like a doe overall."

"Oh her, yeah I saw her." he's stopped there and I'm about to punch him before Luxord grabs my punching arm so I cant hit him.

"And where, exactly did you see her go?"

"She went that way with some blonde haired guy in a cape and suit- looked like a pissed father if you ask me." he waved his hand in the general direction and I ripped my arm out of Luxords grasp and started walking, anger always boiled through me when a night with Namine slipped through my fingers. With her it was more like I was a therapist and she just needed to vent- most times she did, but I didn't have to actually work, I just had to be a friend for a real friend.

I pull my phone out of my right back pocket as Luxord goes back to his phone- I'm beginning to think he's addicted to the damn thing (It's only taken me seven years to draw to that conclusion though).

I hit Namine's number and raise it to my ear. "Hey Axel, sorry about Namine, but she wasn't allowed out tonight, she has to still get prepared for the wedding." Ansem sounds so professional from the other side of the phone, and Namine understands that the wedding and marriage is for her best interest, she just isn't in love, and she had that childhood dream of marrying her prince charming.

"Oh, alright Mr. Wise. Uh, do you know a good day I could call to say hi?" he didn't hate me- simply because I never wanted sex out of his daughter since I was a whore and all -but he didn't like the fact that she ran to me to talk instead of him or her mother.

"Probably the week before the wedding, I'll make sure she's free to talk around… five next Saturday?"

"Alright, thank you Mr. Wise." he say's a short goodbye and I hang up.

"Axel, it's fine, Xemnas has a client back at the house for you apparently as it is." Luxord is always there to make an 'alright' night into a 'oh fuck I don't want to have my life anymore' kind of night. Since I've been bringing in my own clients my job has at least been a little more enjoyable since I'm not having to screw a bunch of guys in their forties and fifties.

"Fine… but for the record, I so don't want to go back." I let my head fall back and look up at the starless sky. I haven't seen stars vividly since Ireland, and I feel so sad every time I look up, and the few things I do see are satellites or planes.

I've also been graced with my own car, I had to buy it myself, but Xemnas has been taking care of things like the insurance and gas since I don't leave the compound unless I have to. It's pretty nice too, Vintage Ford Mustang, an original American Muscle car. It's painted black with two red streaks running up the hood and over the cab before vanishing at the tail. I've debated a few times about having flames painted on it, but don't want to waist the money because I'm getting close.

I slid into the drivers seat as Luxord gets into the Bentley that still drives him around. One thing that the life I have, it's made me excellent at finding the trackers that Xemnas puts in everything, I've taken the tracker out of my car and set it under the front seat so it still moves around with my car, I've taken the trackers out of my phone and have taped the thin disk to the back of it under the case and I'm able to take the 'permanent' tracker earring out in just the right way so it wont set off the shot of toxin that'll knock me out.

I'll get out, I know it… I just don't know how long it's going to take me, once Demyx died though, I promised myself that I'll get out, and that I'll get Sora out too. Riku is taking care of Sora, and I trust him enough to know that he's not going to just 'get tired' and throw Sora out again, but I have to get myself out and get away. Because there is no chance that I'll get out by being bought or something, I wouldn't want to be sold to anyone. If I want out before I'm dead, I have to run, and run far, far away.

My plan is pretty simple: one night, set all the trackers I have taken out and set them in their respective places, knock Luxord out with the wobbly chair leg that I know comes out… then I'll sneak out of the house since I've taken enough trips to the kitchen in the middle of the night- especially over the last few weeks -and I know the Wolves schedule. I'll get out into my car, open it up, take the tracker out and set it on the ground where it's parked- I'm getting a lift system soon by the way so I'll be able to go off road with it.

Pushing over to the lake and driving around the lake before breaking through the face would be simple from that point forward. I'll have to make sure that Lumier and Cerberus master the 'Silence' command before hand though, and that their nails are clipped or their wearing some booties to keep their nails from clicking though. Aside from those few factors, my plan is flawless.

My minds starting to wander and I'm starting to think of the men who've been previous repeat business for me, wondering if there are any left that really _DARE_ to see me for a night: Reaper- dead, 'Sir' Jafar- dead, Scar- missing for two years, Seferoth- dead, Shan-Yu- missing for three, Ursla- dead, and Hades- found two weeks ago, dead.

'Sir' Jafar died by a, rather unfortunately placed vase on my headboard- the same placement for the vase concluded in the same unfortunate end for Scar. Seferoth came to his end in his apartment, he was the kind of freak that liked bondage and basically raping me… his end came from my nails when I was 'so enthralled' that I dug my fingers into his flesh- there had been nothing Luxord could have done about it since he was in the living room. Shan-Yu had been easy, a booty call to his office, I honestly didn't know that his pen set was that sharp as I rolled over so he was on the bottom. Ursla had died because of a heart attack- thank god! And Hades, well… he met close to the same end as the Reaper. I burned him to a crisp in his apartment close to a month ago.

Xemnas knows, Saïx knows, most of my old clients know. But I have my reasons for all of them. And their important I assure you. I take a deep breath as I stop outside the gates, Pete and Melifacent glare at my car for a moment before opening the gate so I can drive forward. They were stupid asses, Xemnas only kept them around because Pete didn't know how to check his wages to see if he was being paid properly, and Malifacent was better to have working for you then against you.

I stop my car in it's respective parking spot and turn it off before getting out, both Lumier and Cerberus are at my door, putting their paws on the door so they can get as close to my faces.

I lower down to one knee and allow them to lick my face a bit, a smile gracing my face as I work hard to keep my lips closed against their licks. Lumier is such a good regal looking albino, he holds himself high when it suits him and is a big lap dog when he wants to be and either me or Sora have an open lap. Cerberus is also a royal looking dog, his face is that of a picture perfect German Shepherd. He's apparently of actual German descent- you can tell because he's bigger then your average German Shepherd, tan stomach and chest, the black on his face coming up to just under his eyes and the two tan spots that look so much like eyebrows draw attention to his big brown eyes that can look so sad when he wants something.

These two dogs, they might be the only thing holding me to the world. Everything else seems so trivial compared to them, because I know if I just kill myself, they'll most likely be killed by Xemnas' own hand. I have to stay alive for them, but I have to stay on earth for myself. I will finish the story of my life, and it will be the biggest slap in the face to Xemnas that there ever has been… I know it. I just, have to find the right wording and… face the fear that he'll find me I suppose.

"Alright boys… c'mon, inside." Lumier and Cerberus start running for the house and I give a bit of a smile and start jogging towards the house behind them. Luxord is strolling in behind us and I decide to let him be as slow as he wants since I just want to get this over with since I'm going to have to put Lumier and Cerberus into their joint doghouse in the back that I had to build on all my days off a while back.

"Axel! Come into my office once you get the mutts tied up!"

"Their not mutts Xemnas! And if I have to keep telling you, I'll give them the command to eat you." the threat was under my breath, but I knew my two constant companions would obey the command. Xemnas still doesn't know that I've trained them both to walk on each side; Lumier on my right and Cerberus on my left. Cerberus is slightly stronger in the muscle department where Lumier is stronger in the speed department, so they evened me out a bit since my left was faster and right was stronger.

"Call them what you will kid, the point is I'll still cut them to ribbons if they come near me." Vexen has always been scared of them, I guess them growling now isn't helping though.

"I wouldn't let that happen Vexen, and you know you'd end up like 'The Stiffs' if you touch them." I give him a fake smile as I slide passed his 'lab' and out the back door. We've called my old clients who are now dead 'The Stiffs' because repeat business ended up dead.

"Don't you dare think for one minute that you scare me that much."

"My count in _Canada_ is eight Vexen… do you want to tease being number nine?" he always pisses me off now, even as I'm walking away I want to turn around and punch him, but I know that Luxord would stop me since he's back to being my shadow again.

I let out a sigh as I tie both Lumier and Cerberus to their respective chains that give them a twenty foot radius of the fairly large dog house that Lumier can stand up straight in. "Be a good boy Lumier, you be good too Cerberus." I give both their heads a kiss and stand up to head back into the house. I want to bring them with me, so they can run in a field that they've never seen before, run through actual trees as fast and for as long as they want, something that they cant get here since from the roof of the house I can see the electrical fence that locks us inside the 'estate'.

I turn and take a few steps into the house before looking back at them, Cerberus getting into his 'I wanna play' position with his butt in the air and they start up a bout of play fighting that I know wont get out of hand since Lumier doesn't allow either of them to really hurt one another.

My feet are fairly light, 'dancer-like' as Sora says, as I make my way to Xemnas' office to hear about the client that is apparently waiting for me.

"Hey Xemnas, what's up?"

"Hello Axel. Glad you could grace me with your presence, your client is up in your room already. I suggest extreme caution he's out of sorts really, but the price he's offering for the night is too high and where I'd normally decline his request, I cant. He's given no specifications aside from he wants to hear you say his name with an Irish accent and he wants to be allowed to grab your hair. He's been looking for a Fire-engine red head with green eyes for a long time apparently, he's alright with the fact you have tattoo's on your face- something I'm still deeply pissed off about by the way -and he just wants his 'world to be rocked' to use his own words." I'm about to sit down but stop myself. "I think he might even meet your preferences, he has blonde hair and blue eyes… he seems to be into drugs though, so I want you to take another shot from Vexen just to be on the safe side before going upstairs, he's waiting for you already."

"Anything else Xemnas?"

"No, don't be mean though, and don't piss me off later."

"Do I get a name?"

"He didn't leave one and he's paid in cash. Now get going." I nod my head and stand up, no longer caring what my night turns into as long as this guy falls asleep after the fact then I'll be happy since I'll be able to go out and hang out with Lumier and Cerberus for a few hours before going back to bed so the man wont have to wake up alone unless he wants to- something Luxord will tell me in the morning.

The stairs seem longer tonight for some reason as I stand at the small landing between the two flights of steps. Luxord is hovering behind me, but to be completely honest, I really just don't feel up for a night of activity. I've never had a problem bringing clients back, it's just that sometimes I don't want to have sex every night… tonight's just one of those nights.

I'm at my door now, I don't really know how I've walked this far already but I'm here, and my hand's still at my side not reaching for the handle like I want it to. I take a deep breath and let it out as soothingly as I can as I reach for the handle.

My hand grasps the polished brass and I spend a moment looking at the gold Roman Numerals and open the door as slowly as I can but still being confident, I've had to deal with high people, drunk people, half bat-shit-crazy people, but one thing I know about all people, if in some way, they love confidence.

The room's dark and as I take a few steps into the room I notice the figure on my bed, sitting on the edge looking at the two pictures I have: one of me with my parents, and the other with me and Roxas in Stanley park that I'd paid three silver coins for to the bumb with the Polaroid camera- both pictures had been hidden away in my drawer though.

Anger is boiling in the pit of my stomach and I think for a moment that I'd buy this asshole out and kick him out of my room but the figure itself has caught my attention now. Fairly thin and frail looking, spiking blonde hair that flicks towards their right, a distinct silver necklace that is an X that's reflecting the light from the candles.

But his eyes, their slightly dilated and half closed as he looks at the pictures on the nightstand. My heart's starting to beat quicker and as I look at him my eyes are going dry because I cant blink, if I blink he'll vanish, I know it.

"R-Roxas?" he looks up and our eyes meet, he doesn't look the same, and my vision suddenly flashes to the image of him in the back of the Collectors Bentley, banging on the glass and yelling even though I cant hear him.

Roxas didn't live, Ventus killed him, remember it, he's just a blonde, he just looks the same- no similar! No one is the same, but he's gone. The Reaper said s- the Reaper said… fuck the Reaper said it!

**AN:**

**Me: WoW! Alright, I think this is pretty good… kinda, harshish?**

**Axel: I like this set up, it makes it feel like it happening now, and that makes the emotions more real.**

**Roxas: that better not be me… I'm supposed to be dead, I was liking sitting out this fic.**

**Sora: you putting me with Riku? But I thought you didn't like us together!**

**Riku: she's already said she's going to try it. And it's not like she's basing an entire fic around it. Axel and Roxas are still her favorite.**

**Sora: I'm fine with that!**

**Axel: alright, well I'm going to do the introduction this time so without further adieu: here's Sora.**

**Sora: Alright, and thank you Axel-**

**Me: you never thank me -_-**

**Sora: - we all hope you all review out there because we love hearing from you! And Elizabeth wants me to let you know that if you don't review, she's going to do something really horrible to Axel in the next chapter she writes (thought killing off Demyx, Zexion and Xion within two chapters was FINE! [leaving me alone with Axel in the house filled with perverts]) have a good day and have fun with it!**


	11. Chapter 10

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

_**Chapter Ten**_

'_**I had wanted to say that my song was far too painful to sing.'**_**- Anne Rice**

Our eyes are no longer locked and I'm looking him over again: his nails are crazy florescent colors, almost like their glowing in the semi-darkness of my room, the seam of his lips is hard to see, but I can tell that the seam is black, meaning that the inside of his mouth is likely black and only one thing could cause that with him still being alive; ND- Nightmare Delirium. A fairly new drug that gives people great psychedelic hallucinations, unfortunately there is a one in twenty probability that those hallucinations will be targeted at your worst fears. It is highly addictive though, and once you start, well… most people don't stop and live.

My eyes are starting to water and I'm feeling my chest start to constrict, my hearts beating too quickly and my chest just keeps feeling tighter and tighter, not giving me enough room for it to beat the way my body needs it to.

"Roxas… is that-"

"Hey! Your hair is even redder then he said it'd be! Oh my god I love it!" he hops up with a smile as he claps his hands together. My eyes go wide when I see that his tongue really has turned black- an unfortunate side effect for people who are so addicted to ND that getting off of it could be fatal. He gets up and wobbles over, I don't want him to touch me, I feel like my skin is crawling just looking at him, his finger nails changing colors as he starts moving again and I see the earrings in his right ear and I don't want to believe it's him, but those eyes, their capturing me and I want to cry.

The boy I love, the boy I left to protect him, didn't he get my letter? Didn't he go get an education? If he walked away from the fight with his brother WHY IS HE IN A BOGGLE?

"I have to go. I'm sorry." I dodge his grasp and rush out of the room, tears are blurring my vision and I feel an arm around my waist and I'm being pushed against the wall beside the bathroom before being dragged inside, it's not Luxord, just because this person is shorter, and more lithe. My body's shaking as I feel my heart breaking in my chest because there is no escaping the harsh, dreaded fact: that is Roxas, and he is addicted to ND, a drug I've most likely been providing money for over the past seven years.

"Axel, what the hell are you doing?" I open my eyes long enough to see Saïx is the one pushing me against the bathroom wall now. "Why the hell aren't you in that fucking room?"

"Its-its him… oh god, he's alive, he's here. What-what are you making me do?"

"I don't care if Gandhi is in that room, you either get in there or you pay half a million gold coins to buy out of it!" half a million, oh god, half a million fucking gold coins! How long has it taken me to send that much… half a year, no, only three months. God, three months of what I've sent him and he's dropped it all on one night with me- and he doesn't know who the fuck I am.

"Saïx, I-I cant! It's him! How am I supposed to go in there and-"

"You have three options Axel: go back in that room and do your job, pay the half million gold coins upfront, or I can get you out of it. Take your pick." he knows I'd rather have a drug-smelling client then him in my bed, but it's Roxas, how am I supposed to do _that_ with him and not have him know who I am?

My chest is hurting so much, where the hell is Luxord, isn't he supposed to be on my side? This is the final straw that's going to break me, his is the client that is going to finally make me loose my mind if he doesn't remember who I am, then I'm not going to be able to keep holding my head up, once Sora leaves I'll finally be the shell Xemnas has always been praying for.

My mind registers a sucking sensation on my neck and I instantly know that it's Saïx, I'm debating on just letting him continue, but if I do that then I'll be his personal bitch for three months and that in itself sounds like hell.

"Get off me!" I push him back and storm out of the bathroom, crossing the hall I only notice slightly that Sora and Riku are coming up the stairs.

"Axel! Hey, how's your night go-" his voice is cut off as I slam my bedroom door shut behind me, causing Roxas on my bed to jump slightly since he's back to looking at the pictures.

"Oh, hi there again… you know, the pictures on their website doesn't do you justice. It's probably a year old… I was worried you wouldn't be able to pound me the way I want you to." his voice sounds almost distorted as he gets up and stumbles over towards me and I have to clench my jaw to not correct his grammar. "Your hair is so red. Other red heads just have orange hair… but your hair. It's like a fire. And your eyes, their just the right shade of Shamrock." I feel horrible looking at him like this, he mustn't remember me at all- or he's acting like he doesn't.

"Roxas, do you have any idea who your talking to?"

"No, but for the rest of the night I'm going to call you Axel."

"But Roxas, I am Axel."

"See? That's the kind of acting I'm paying for." my throat is starting to feel tight and I don't want to do this, if he's forgotten me and is happy with life then I should leave, I should go take up Saïx on his offer and not have to do this… but I cant because my will is weak, and I'm hoping that if I stay, he'll remember soon.

"No, Roxas… I was born Axel O'Riley! It's not fake, it's me!" I grab his chin gently and he whimpers a bit out of fear as he cringes away from me slightly.

"Don't lie. Axel's gone, the real Axel left!" his fists reach forward and he grabs the fairly loose front to my shirt and pushes me towards the bed. "Axel left me for some glorious job and your not him!"

"Then how do you explain the picture Roxas? How do you explain the fact that I know your name and I wasn't told! I know your favorite color when you were eight and I know your favorite food is Chocolate cake with whipping cream and strawberries! How can you explain all of that?" he pushes me down onto the bed and straddles my waist so I'd have to roughly push him off of me- something that can easily get me in trouble.

"Nothing you cant learn from social networking sites or guess on."

"You think a normal people can guess that your favorite color when you were _eight_ was deep lavender?" he reaches up and grabs the front of my shirt; he looks nothing the same to who he was when I knew him, my hopes of him getting a good education and a good job have fallen out from under me. I think I'd even prefer him dead over what I see in front of me now.

"Shut up Axel… I don't want to fight anymore. I didn't mean to make you mad, I promise. Don't-don't be mad Axel." he's gone from sadistic to crying in a second and I'm shocked as he lets go of my shirt and wipes a tear away from his eye before leaning down. He presses a tentative kiss to my lips and curls up into a ball on my chest as he starts begging for my forgiveness.

It should be the other way around, I should be begging and pleading with him to be forgiven. If I hadn't left- if this hadn't been better, I should have been stronger, I could have shot animals for dinner and food. I could have done so much but I didn't. I thought that it'd be better to give him money and the opportunity for education, but I just gave him the means to fall. I was a rock for so many other people and not for him.

"Please Axel… don't be mad at me… don't go." he presses another kiss to my lips and I think I'm going to break down and cry as he starts to pull my shirt up over my head. His fingers are as cold as ice on my skin and I cant help but flinch as he draws random patterns on my stomach before he's attaching his mouth to my neck and leaving a wet open mouthed kiss over my pulse point.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I cant believe I just had to do that, I cant even move I'm so pissed and upset with myself. I've wrecked him, not in the sense that most whores would say, I allowed him to turn into a masochistic, drug addict. The tears just wont stop and I'm surprised that he's not waking up since I'm basically shaking the whole bed as I cry. I just don't know what I did wrong, I could handle it when I thought he was dead- that had been hard but doable… but in my eyes this is a state worse then death. He lives to the next high and goes to whores for pleasure, forcing them all to take my name and begging their forgiveness.

I look over through my arms and stare at Roxas, he's sprawled out much like when he was a child, his face isn't relaxed though and his mouth is slightly open with a light snore, allowing me to see that his tongue is indeed black.

ND- Nightmare Delirium: a drug that can be smoked, snorted, injected and ingested. Effects the drug has: it will allow the person to experience psychedelic hallucinations with a one in twenty chance that it'll attack worst fears, nails will glow and change colors. And withdrawing from the drug can be so harsh on the body that in most cases that have gone extreme- the kind of extreme where a tongue turns black -the person rarely makes it out alive. Withdraw Symptoms: Horrid stabs of pain all over the body, emotional swings and stress, nails return to normal color, shakes, fever, long periods of sleep, low energy and high energy swings, strong alcohol cravings, the next drug they taste they'll be addicted to it. Overall it's horrible.

This much about ND is known to me because Vexen has made sure I am educated in all aspects, and even though I'm eighteen and know more then most he's still got more to cram down my throat- I actually have a lesson today that I'm going to skip for talking to Roxas and trying to get it through his head that I am who I am.

"Axel… Xemnas wants to see you downstairs." I look over at Luxord and shake my head, tears are still coming freely out of my eyes and I refuse to let him see me broken. "I don't think you're getting an option, I've been told to drag you down by your hair if I have to."

"Then start pulling! Because I'm not leaving this room unless it's to rip his heart out!" I'm bawling my head off now, my nose is probably red and even though I'm crying and hiding my face Xemnas has already seen what he wants. It's no secret to us that he has cameras and microphones hidden in our rooms. Mine are under the bed, in the top north corner of the room and behind my door.

"Axel, don't make me drag you down like you're a child having a hissy-fit. Seven years you've been fine, never once have you really given up your hope… so what is so important about right now, what the hell has you of all people: the Flurry of Dancing Flames, crying?" he's walked around to my side of the bed and is holding a pair of my pants out for me to take.

"It's him Luxord! What's been the point of the last seven years of my life! I did this so he could take the money and better himself, get off of Hastings street and go someplace! What the hell is the point of living, if all it gets me is him laying here next to me, high off ND and not even knowing who I am! I don't think he knows that I'm actually Axel and not just another normal whore who he's given that name to!" I'm pointing to him now and I'm about to break down into another bout of tears if my tears ducts even have more to give.

Luxord stops me by grabbing my face and pulling me off the bed so I'm standing in front of him, he's glaring and for a moment I think he's going to hit me. "Then don't let him fucking win. The microphones and cameras are off Axel, say whatever the hell you want to say, but don't let him beat you! Everyone else is done, they don't make it passed the first year! But look at you, look! You've made it to seven years of this hell, and you've still got fight, I know it's in there somewhere Axel. I've watched you, I've studied you- I wrote a fucking world-wide-famous BOOK on your will power and determination! don't make my next book be how you fell because of one year, one stupid worthless year that cant be changed. make your past worth something and FIGHT!" he's shaken me a few times now, and he does it once more so his point sinks in but he lets me go and I sit back down on the edge of the bed.

"Now, get dressed, clean your face, and go show Xemnas that he doesn't own you. Tell him it's not Roxas, tell him whatever you want. Make up a story about Unicorns and rainbows for all I care, but DON'T give up. Because as soon as you give up, you'll be giving him the golden trophy and he'll take, EVERYTHING from you again." Luxord tosses the pans onto my lap and storms towards the bedroom door. "I'll make up an excuse for you, you'll have half an hour at most. Get a shower and get ready, because I want to see that cocky kid who walked into this fucking Boggle and owned it. Show me Axel, _not_ the Flurry of Dancing Flames." as he closes the door behind him I can see that he's giving me a bit of a smile and I take a deep breath before standing up and moving into the bathroom.

I step right into the private shower stall and turn the hot water on, not really caring that it's almost as hot as it can possibly go. I've gotten used to my skin being burned red and rubbed raw. I hate touching other people to the point that I doubt I'd ever seek out being cuddled.

I shiver in the hot water as the sensation of Roxas' cold fingers brushing down my skin makes me want to freeze and scrub my body until I cant feel anything. Just thinking of him as a kid and how he looks now, I want to break down again, but Luxords right- as he mostly is. I cannot let Xemnas win, I've still got fight left in me.

Once I'm out of the shower I brush my hair out and shake my head so the thick red locks can dry before I tie them back into a low ponytail at the nape of my neck. With just a towel around my waist I walk out into the room, noticing right away that the bed's empty and unmade, Roxas is sitting on the window sill and he's smoking something that's giving off a rainbow colored smoke.

"I'd hate to inform you Roxas… but we don't allow drugs on the estate."

"You mean Boggle?"

"Yeah, that." Roxas shrugs his shoulders, put it out on my pristine white window sill and tosses the remaining half cigarette outside to get eaten by the weather or picked up by one of the Wolves.

"So, red… what's on the agenda for today? I bought you for the week, so spill it. Whoa!" Roxas falls forwards and I reach out to catch him.

"So, you still aren't straight in the morning?"

"Dude, I've never been straight. I'm gayer then a piñata filled with pink sparkles being cracked open with a bejeweled cane." one of his eyes looks lazy as he uses the arm I've caught him with to steady himself as he stands up straight.

"I have to go down and talk with the Grimm. I'll be back up in a little bit, you can have a shower if you want, then we can do whatever you want to." I'm kind of surprised he's awake this early, but don't question it as I turn away from him. It hurts seeing him still not recognize me, indicating what I thought were periodic hallucinations are all the time hallucinations… so he's living in an alternate reality of his own, good to know.

I walk down the hallway and see Sora come bouncing out of his room. "Axel! Answer my question right now! What was up with you last night? You completely blew me off and I just wanted to say hi! Explain yourself!"

"There's nothing to explain Sora. Go back to Riku, I've got a client in my room and Xemnas waiting, I'm not having a good morning."

"But Riku's talking with Xemnas right now, why does he want to see you too?"

"I don't know, I'm not there yet." I raise my hand and set it down on the top of his head, ruffling his hair a bit. "I'll see you in a bit Sora."

The rest of the walk there isn't eventful, just my feet falling from step to step and my eyes roving over the walls I've seen a million times before. I raise my hand to knock on the door but it's wrenched open, almost quickly enough to pull it off it's hinges and a hand darts out, grabbing the bright green T-shirt that says 'Kiss me I'm Irish' and pulls me into the room before letting me go so I stumble into Xemnas' desk.

"The fuck's yer problem ya son of a half troll- rat eatin' hob-goblin!" I turn on whoever it is to punch them but freeze when I see Mr. Skellington, my first boss standing there with a fairly smug look on his face.

"Wow… is that any kind of language to use towards the man who's going to reply to your SOS?" his voice is almost a purr and I feel like I'm going to get sick, the guy's gotta be at least sixty, and that is just so wrong. "My son has been looking for someone to fool around with, and I figured, 'why not? I know the Grimm, should be easy' and you can imagine my reaction when I hear that you are the most sought after Kicker here."

"Did your face look like it normally does, or like it did when you killed Mr. Omashi?" I'm standing straighter and give a bit of a smirk, I don't know why, but seeing Mr. Skellington standing here like he's going to get something out of me had brought my will to fight back, and I will get what I want, the plan is running through my head again and I know I can get out if I try.

"How dare you!" he raises his hand to smack and since Luxord doesn't catch it in time I stop the hand myself and twist his arm a bit as I lower my arm- still grasping his wrist -back to my side.

"How dare I what? Speak the truth? I don't care what you want, or what your angle is, I don't care if you're the last face on this earth that can save me. I'm tired of being sold, and I'm tired of this shit."

"Axel, need I remind you that if you do not cooperate with my orders I'll-"

"What? Roxas has been dead for seven years! I've been doing all of this for nothing! And you know the worst part? I've known for four years! You know that night I killed the Reaper, he told me everything, about the fight, about how Ventus killed Roxas. And I have to admit, having the fucking balls to allow Ventus into my room is fucking gutsy on your part. But I'm done with it!" I let Mr. Skellington go and turn to Xemnas, noticing right away as Saïx moves in from the side of the room.

"You've decided this have you Axel? That you wont listen anymore?"

"What's the point? If I listen what more can you take away from me? What more is there to rip out from under me to try and push me so far down that it'll take years to crawl out again? You've killed Zexion, you've killed Demyx, you've killed Xion! Who's left Xemnas, who the fuck is left that you can take away from me?" the smirk on his face is telling me something, and then I realize what's wrong with the picture _'But Riku's talking with Xemnas right now, why does he want to see you too' _the words Sora said coming back to me, but he's not here.

"Don't forget Axel… one person you still care about is still within my reach. Are you sure- absolutely sure, that you'll risk his freedom for you simply rebelling again?" he leans forward and as his elbow comes down on the desk Lexaeus walks in with a struggling Riku in his hands, the overall mountain-like size of the man being too hard for any normal sized person to deal with.

His amber eyes are daring me I know it, but I also know to not call his bluff. "So what're you going to do? Lock me up in the basement for swearing and threatening to leave? We both know I cant anyways. All I'm saying, is I shouldn't have to let this… cretin, buy me like I'm some kind of sex toy." Xemnas opens his mouth to object but I continue. "Because we both know I'm a god."

My fake ego is back and it has a vengeance now, both he and I know that I make too much money for him to actually sell me, and as far as I know it's against his rules to let someone else use me when the first customer has spent half a million gold coins on me for a week. "So, get him to take a number, put him down in that pretty black book of yours, and I'm going to go walk my dogs."

"Are you telling me what to do again Axel?"

"No, I'm telling you what you've already planned on doing. That's why you brought me down here isn't it? You don't want to tell him to take a number yourself and figure I can do it myself? Please Xemnas, we both know I'm inside your dead."

"As I am in yours I hope."

"Of course you are." it's a lie, but whatever, I make a living on lying… so why not spin more of my perfect web? "Sorry to disappoint Skellington, Xemnas knows my schedule, get him to tell you my next free day. I'm off to live a little."

I didn't let Xemnas call me back as I walked out, Luxord and Riku both behind me as I walked back up the stairs, Riku was silent and Luxord was playing with his cards again.

"Is my room still secure Luxord?"

"Should be until noon, why?" I grabbed Riku's hand and pulled him so his face was close to mine, because of our limp hair it shielded most of our faces.

"Grab Sora and come into my room for a minute… I need to talk to you about something, now push me away for the cameras." Riku did as I said and I stumbled back into a wall, Luxord stabilizing me. "Damn, I've wanted to do that for a while gramps… how about you and Sora come over to my room so we can all talk, I'm sure I'll be bored with Mr. Stoner-pants." it hurt calling Roxas that, but a plan is hatching in my head and I need them in on it.

Three minutes later and we're all sitting around my room, Roxas is in the bathroom and I've hidden the personal photo's again since Roxas must have taken them out.

"Alright Axel, spill it, because you're starting to worry me." Sora does in fact look worried, so I wont make him wait.

"You remember that boy I told you about, the boy who's the reason why I'm here?"

"Yeah, I still think you're really cool for doing that."

"Don't be, it backfired in my face and he's in the bathroom now. The point is, I have a plan and it's a damn fucking good one too. I've been planning to run away for a while, and Riku…" I stop so I'm looking at him directly, having his full attention "If you promise me to kidnap Roxas outside of this house, I'll get Sora out. You'll never have to worry about Xemnas coming after him again. You can go off the map or just get to a place where he cant get to you."

"Axel, Xemnas is everywhere… how the hell can you change that."

"Well first off, my wonderful little grandpa; Xemnas' claws only stretch as far as BC's border. And secondly, I've already got a house waiting for me outside the country." I catch Luxord's eyes go wide and turn in his direction. "I can do this without you Luxord, but it'll be a shit load easier if you're with me on this." I look around the room at the three sets of eyes, all looking at me like I'm crazy.

"Axel, you've finally done it. You've gone crazy." Sora looks like he's about to cry and I let out a sigh before sitting back and fiddling with my earrings. Sora starts mumbling something to Riku but to be honest I don't care; they can think I'm as crazy as they want, the point is I can do it, if I have to kill people to get me and Sora out I'll do it.

"Where is this house you supposedly have?" Riku's voice breaks the slight murmur catches my attention and I cant help but smirk as I look back over at him. Luxord is leaning forward intently, a serious look on his face that I know means he'll stick with me.

"Ireland. You don't need a license there to get a job, you don't need to get a job if you don't want. Hunting is still a good means of living and where my house is, it's right on the border so we'd be able to go into the cities if we want or stay 'out back' if we choose."

"Axel, Ireland… you really have gone crazy, you told me yourself that you left when you were seven. Because it sucked."

"No, the conditions for me leaving sucked, and leaving in general sucked. I had to leave because my family was killed and someone had to take care of me. So I was forced to make my way here to BC to find my aunt. Lived with her until I was ten, lived with Roxas for a year on our own, then I came here. Ireland is still my ideal. This sounds like it's coming from a kid I know… but I've been dying to smell those rolling hills and feel real grass under my feet again. British Columbia pales in comparison to Ireland. The greenery, the rivers and water, the overall feel of the place. I'll go there on my own if I have to, but I don't want to go back alone." Sora looks whisked away but Riku looks skeptical while Luxord looks like nirvana has just turned into a plate of cold raw fish he's supposed to eat.

"You're nuts Axel. There is no getting away from Xemnas."

"Yes there is! I'll kill him if I have to but I'm getting away from him!" eyes go wide and I realize that I've said it just slightly too loud. "You, Riku… have the means to save the person I care about most in the world, and I have the means, to make sure that the person you care about the most never gets hunted down like a criminal. What are your options if you don't want to find yourself dead one morning and Sora back here on twenty-four hour watch to make sure he doesn't do what Demyx did?" I know I'm probably glaring, but it's all true and they know it. No one can argue that people who buy us don't live long.

"Axel… tell me your plan and I'll consider not ratting you out and helping." I turn to Luxord and give him a bit of a smile, he can probably tell I am serious about killing Xemnas and doesn't want to be in my path to him.

"Well… I thought you'd never ask."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Wow… you've actually thought everything out, even if it goes wrong. The only thing I don't know is; how are you going to kill Xemnas?"

"My plan right now isn't to kill him, that'll only happen if he hunts us. Right now my plan is just escape." I pull both my legs up in front of me on the chair and look around the room, seeing that the bathroom door is still firmly locked and I guess Roxas is just snorting or smoking some more ND since he's been in there a while and I'm starting to hear giggles.

"Fine, I'll do it. Do you want blueprints or anything?" I shake my head and take a deep breath as Riku and Sora nod their heads too. I have a group of people, and they trust me again. It feels so good to have people who trust me, even if it's just a little bit.

"Alright, I'll see you guys tomorrow, I don't really know what Roxas wants to do today, but I have to go and let Lumier and Cerberus off their leashes and give them some food."

"I can do that if you want… don't you have to jog Roxas' memory?" Sora is kind at heart, but I really should be feeding the dogs on my own. Riku looks really guilty, he has since I mentioned that Roxas is in the bathroom and he just grabbs Sora's hand and starts fiddling with the long digits.

"Nah, I've got it. I'm going to give them free reign today… besides, I doubt Roxas will be seeing anything but his fictionary 'Axel' for a while since he's snorting in the bathroom right now." Sora and Riku both wince as Luxord sighs and stand up to do deal with 'the problem' as I stand up to go get Lumier and Cerberus. "I'll see you guys later." I wave at them before heading out of my room.

Both Lumier and Cerberus are just lying around outside their dog house, neither of them looking overly excited since it's cold and they both hate being stuck outside over night.

"Hey boys… look who brought you a treat?" I hold out two bones I swiped from the kitchen on my way down and they both perk up right away, they dash over and sit down on the cold ground, neither of their butts actually touching the ground. "What do we do?" right away Lumier plants his butt to the cold grass and I hand him his bone while Cerberus continued to be stubborn. "Cerberus, sit." Lumier's gone back to the doghouse by now so I hide Cerberus' behind my back. "Down." he grumbles a bit and lies down, his eyes never leaving the hand that's behind my back.

"Good boy Cerberus." I pull the bone out from behind my back and he takes it, walking back to the doghouse right away and laying down beside Lumier.

Most of the Leeches and Wolves here at the Boggle said it couldn't be done, that I couldn't have a Great Dane and a German Shepherd in the same doghouse, that I couldn't give them both food and have them in close proximity to one another, and that I certainly couldn't touch two powerful and vicious animals while they had food in their possession.

Yet there they are, laying shoulder to shoulder in their dog house, eating their bones. I'm about two feet away and neither of them care, I crouch down in front of them and pet their heads a few times before reaching into the doghouse and start to undo their leashes. Several of the Leeches and Wolves have even tried to reach into their doghouse, but they can never get within the twenty foot radius without Lumier and Cerberus attacking.

"Alright, have a good days boys… and don't, attack." Lumier and Cerberus both look at me and I give them a smile before getting up so I can go try and deal with Roxas and not cry my eyes out anymore.

**AN:**

**Me: I'm sorry that this is so odd… the next chapter is going to get more into what Axel and Roxas will be doing and how the drug is affecting Roxas and not just what Axel knows the drug does.**

**Roxas: you made me a drug addict… what was wrong with your first idea that I was going to be a college student doing what Axel wanted me to do?**

**Me: there is no story in that Roxas, it's too… happy for an angst story.**

**Axel: but it would have made my darling Roxie like me more.**

**Roxas: and another thing! Why the hell is my tongue black? Could you not come up with a better side effect?**

**Me: I wanted something odd in there. And I just wants Angels and Demons, I go the idea from one of the scenes in that movie, so sorry.**

**Sora: thank you for reading and we'd all love to hear what you think! Drop us a line at that magical little review button! Click it! Click it now! Please click it? Common I'm begging you! Thanks again for reading and have a good day, be Crazy and Laugh out Loud as much as you want!**


	12. Chapter 11

**Take the Fight from the Kid**

**Chapter 11**

'_**Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be Alcohol or morphine or idealism.'**_**- Carl Gustav Jung**

Even though when I left the room he was in the shower, I cant help but feel that when I step into that room that my heart will be ripped out and shattered into thousands of glass shards. I haven't been this emotionally weak in _years_, and I don't remember how to deal with it.

I cried the first night I had to spend here because of Roxas, because I was praying that he'd get anything good out of life… that he'd be alright on his own and safe without me there to watch out for him. And now all I can think of is walking into that room and finding him completely stoned, not knowing who I am and rejecting me for who I am to pretend I'm me- if that makes any sense.

"Come here for a moment, Flurry of Dancing Flames." I let a sigh out of my mouth and roll my shoulders a bit as I turn towards the door that Xemnas' voice came ringing out of the room from.

"What do you want jack-ass?"

"Oh… the language hurts Axel… I was just going to ask you what you wanted sent to your room for dinner tonight? Anything you think your client… what's his name again?"

"Ventus. And I'd like Chicken Cordon Blue."

"Would you're client like the-"

"No, but it's what you'll bring him. Now if you don't mind I have to entertain him so this god-awful week can be over as soon as possible." I stuff my hands into my jean pockets but as I turn I notice that Saïx is barring the door so I cant leave. "Unless there is something else you want to talk about, of course."

"Yes there is, so how about you sit down and we talk." I'm a little nervous that he's figured out that I no longer have his tracking devices hidden in my car aside from where I want it, or that neither Lumier and Cerberus have their implants implanted. I sit down with a huff and cross my arms over my chest, slouching down so he can see as little of me as possible.

"What would you like to talk about, Xemnas?" Xemnas' eyes are drilling into what he can see of my form and I just stare at him, watching his piercing amber eyes roam before they lock with mine and we're just staring at each other now. I have nothing to say to him about our current situation and I don't even care if he knows that's not Ventus up in my room.

"So, if that is Ventus up there, where has all your money been going? Wouldn't it have been put into your accounts?"

"No, because I sent the checks you gave me right to Roxas, they're probably sitting in the overstuffed mailbox, or the people in charge of it have just decided to start throwing the envelopes out. I don't really care, I'm curious as to why you care though. Do I need to know something I don't?"

"No… not that I'm aware of, I just want to know how your doing. These discussions were routine when you first came here. For your mental health… so how have you been feeling?"

"You haven't tried to play psychologist in almost five years Xemnas. What's so special about now, when I could be with a client? Aren't you the one who's always vehement on me being with the client when their paying for my time- sex or not." he folds his hands in front of him on the desk and Saïx moves so he's in the corner of the room behind Xemnas' right so he's just in my peripheral.

"Ever think I just want to be a better boss for you?" I cant help but scoff, my chest contracting so much it's hurting as I burst into full out laughter in the seat.

Xemnas' office always smells like lavender, and he smells the most like lavender, he brushes his teeth with a vanilla flavored toothpaste too- I'd rather not go into how I know that tidbit of information though. The way he carries himself is stupid and mighty, something that makes me want to make _him _number nine on my Canadian death list.

"Xemnas, we both know you don't want to be nice to me. So just spill it before I get a stitch." I pull my right leg up onto the chair and let out a sigh as I stop laughing.

"Axel, I want you know that from this point forward security in the building will be on a slight standstill, Vexen messed up with a bit of the wiring in his lab and our power is out." I nod my head a few times, wondering why he tried using a round about way to tell me that.

"Alright. I'll be upstairs with my client, or wherever else he wants to be." I get up with a shrug and leave the room before he or Saïx can stop me.

The power is out, this could be great. The last time Vexen messed up with the power it was out for a month! My room's probably the darkest right now because of all the black, and Roxas has to be out of the shower by now. If I can manage to piss him off enough to make him leave, then that means Riku will be able to follow him. I can learn the Wolves and Leeches patterns tonight and tomorrow night, and then the plan can be executed in three days time!

"Luxord! Do you know where my- oh, hi there… do you know where the blonde guy-"

"We're going out. There's no power here and that blonde guy is pissing me off." Roxas walks passed me, grabbing my arm and starting to drag me back down the stairs and towards the front of the house. He's stumbling and I'm worried about him leading me anywhere.

"Uh… are you sure? The blonde guy will have to come."

"What? Why?" we stop on the landing and I help hold him up by setting one of my arms above him and wrap the other around his waist so his shaky legs don't have to work as hard.

"Because, he's my Wolf. It's required that he follow me around both on the estate and off."

"Ha!… estate. Now that is funny, this is a prison a really big, shiny, music filled prison." I raise an eyebrow but let it slide since he just finished snorting what was most likely ND. "H-hey, how about we-we go to this totally awesome club. Its-it's the best place."

It hurts so much, because he's here in my arms, and to me, he doesn't sound stoned, I'm sure it's just me- because I don't want to hear him stoned. But just looking at him I can tell he's worse then shit faced. I don't want to go wherever he wants to lead me, but it's killing me to know that he's here and not dead, that he's suffering and I helped cause it.

"C'mon… I wanna fucking dance!" Roxas reaches up and grips my hair in tight fists so harshly I'm about to protest before he crashes his mouth onto mine. The kiss should make me happy, I've wanted to kiss him for years- I've wanted to see his face for years -but the kiss is rough and to be frank because of Nightmare Delirium his mouth tastes odd, half way between spoiled and black licorice- a candy I don't have much fancy for to begin with.

He releases the kiss and starts to stumble down the stairs again, the darkness isn't helping him though and he starts to fall. I wrap my arm around his waist and steady him again and he wraps his arms around my torso because he still must be feeling like he's falling.

"Ah! Save me!" his face is buried in my chest and he's literally clawing at my back so I set him down a little so his feet are on the stairs again. "Has-has the world stopped spinning?"

"No, it still spins, but it's back to the same old speed."

"The world doesn't spin, what are you talking about?"

"Don't tell me you think the world is flat too." he pushes away from my chest and I subtly stop him from falling again before he stumbles down the rest of the stairs.

"I do not like being… insu-insul- poked fun at, Axel! You know that." I do know, I just don't want to stop. Poking fun at him might be the only thing that is going to get me to the actual point of saving him and getting him off the stupid drug.

It should be his choice, I know, withdrawing could kill him I know, but the drug can kill him even more painfully because his body could literally start melting away and chunks of flesh could come off… it can be hell.

"I apologize, where do you want to go dancing?"

"I want to go to Death House! I love it there!" I let out a sigh and nod my head figuring that I was just going to have a really rough day.

Death House is a club that never closed it's doors, never has a last call for drinks and never stops playing rave music and always has people dancing and practically having sex on the dance floor- some people even did, that night the whole place turned into an orgy.

"Alright. I'll take you there." I follow him down the rest of the stairs, steadying him as he sways too far to one side or the other.

"Axel… are you sure you should-"

"Never mind Luxord. Get him into the car, I'll be there in a minute I just have to get something." I don't have to get a damn thing, but I have to check on Lumier and Cerberus, and maybe beg the gods I don't believe in that today will be better then I'm thinking it will be.

"No, you're coming. I'm not being left alone with this brat again." Luxord grabs the back of my shirt collar and starts pulling me towards the front door and letting me go once I'm right behind Roxas.

"Fine, but I'm taking my car." Luxord just scoffs from behind me and as Roxas fumbles to get the front door open I notice that my car isn't in it's parking spot. "Wait, where is my-"

"Xemnas sent it in to get that lift job you wanted… he said a foot's good enough. doesn't want you wasting money on more."

"But it's my car! I wanted the two feet and that cage added!"

"Yeah well, you don't need a cage, unless your planning on killing someone else with your car." I let out a bit of a growl and grab Roxas' wrist, pulling him towards the Bentley since now I don't know if the assholes working on my car are looking for the tracker- though I've put it back in it's proper place.

"Hey… where are we going?"

"To Death House… isn't that were you want to go?"

"Oh yeah! I love that place! Lets go get SMASHED!" I don't think it's possible for him to get smashed, but I shrug my head in agreement and slide into the back seat of the Bentley after Roxas.

"When we're in the club I want you to lavish me in affection!" he raises his arms over his head and falls down so his head is in my lap and he's looking up at me with a bright smile. "I don't want you to let me go Axel."

"Alright… I wont."

"Your not just saying that, are you?" I raise my left hand and set it on his head, allowing my fingers to trail through his dirty blonde hair and I shake my head.

"I mean it. I wont let you go again." tears want to spill over as my fingers run through his hair and he closes his eyes. They still don't look open and clear but I don't expect them to.

"That's what I always hoped Axel would say." he lets out a contented sigh and I want to beg him to believe that I am me, but I just cant… it's impossible for me to ask him to forgive me.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

We're dancing in the club, about five hundred others are here too and Roxas is making it hard to keep up with, he's doing what I normally do and just dancing around, grinding with anyone and sticking his tongue into other's mouths like it's a life source for him.

I grab his hips and pull him back towards me, spinning him around so our fronts are grinding, hating the fact that he's seeking pleasure from others when I'm here. The few drinks he's said I have are starting to take effect and my mind is starting to get a little foggy as I grab a fist full of his hair and press a dominating kiss to his lips as I grind our pelvises together.

I want so badly to just sit him down and tell him '_It's me, I am Axel O'Riley. I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for leaving… but I cant take it and I miss you_.' but I cant. I can feel his fingers curling into my shirt and I make sure that his body is flushed with mine as I start to work our way off the dance floor.

My feet are really moving on their own and by the time I'm pushing Roxas against the wall my mind is probably completely gone. Somewhere deep down I feel like I cant possibly be doing this with him because I'm drunk and he's high.

"Hey… can I get some of the blonde action-" I cut the guy off with a quick punch to his gut and go back to kissing Roxas, I'm not even sure where the guy came from. I feel Roxas' hands at the buttons on my shirt and by the time he's gotten through three I'm pulling away and moving, though I'm not sure where to.

Before I know it we're falling over onto a bed and his hands are on my belt, trying to get passed the buckle. His biting his lip and I try and take the plump lip but he's biting too harshly.

"Axel, we have to leave." the door is thrown open and I'm turning to see Luxord standing in the doorway to the room, Roxas is still working on getting my pants off and I'm not really sure what's happening anymore and just turn back to Roxas, not caring if Luxord stays or goes.

Pleasure shoots through me as Roxas reaches into my pants while I start to leave a hickey just under his right jawbone and I start to take his clothes off.

"Axel! we're not getting a choice here!" I'm pulled away and I'm not even sure if Roxas is grabbed too or not since the harsh movement has made the room spin and I'm loosing my vision.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Axel, wake up." my leg is kicked and before I know it I'm on my feet, leaning against a wall as I try and see who kicked me.

"The fuck? Where am I?" I cant remember what happened last night at all and Luxord looks pissed as he's standing at the entrance of the basement with his arms crossed over his chest, is that where I am? The basement, why am I here? Shit, my car! The tracker!

"Luxord! What happened?"

"Your stupid mutts attacked Vexen when he went out to get some supplies for the electric box. He's still stuck in his car." Luxord walks over and grabs my shoulder. "I'm getting a cup of fucking coffee into you and your getting them off him. Xemnas is furious because their attacking anyone that gets close."

The words don't really make sense, but the sound of coffee isn't really something I want right now since I don't know how I went from Death House with Roxas to the basement with Luxord.

I'm brought from the basement and Luxord pushes me down into one of the chairs before slamming a large mug of coffee in front of me. I hate coffee and I can hear Lumier and Cerberus barking outside and know that if I don't get out there soon Xemnas is going to have his gun in hand and trained on them.

"I don't want fucking coffee. I'll just go get them now. But, where did Roxas go?"

"Xemnas had him sent off when I brought the two of you back. That was about an hour ago. He had me bring you down to the basement to lock you up for letting your dogs roam free, gave me the order two minutes ago to get you outside so you could call them off. But he's pissed as Hades, so drink up and get out there."

"I don't like fucking coffee. I'm not that drunk." Luxord lets out a sigh and holds out his two hands.

"How many fingers am I holding up Axel?" I stare at the digits, trying to see through the double vision and count them.

"I don't give a shit how many fingers your holding up Luxord! I have to go get Lumier and Cerberus off before Xemnas kills them!" I move to stand up but his hand comes down on my shoulder like a ton of bricks and I'm pushed back down. "Fuck off Luxord!" I bat at his hand on my shoulder but it's vanished from it's perch and he's in a totally different place.

"Axel, drink the fucking coffee, so you can call your dogs off without having them attack you too."

With a scowl I fist the handle of the coffee mug and start chugging. It's burning my mouth and throat, I'm pretty sure I wont be able to taste for the next few weeks. But the cup is finished and as I stand up Luxord doesn't bother to stop me.

Coffee doesn't help me sober up, but it gives my body another smell then alcohol for Lumier and Cerberus. I stumble a few times and shake my head a bit, I cant think of a time I've been this drunk aside from being in my room after a particularly rough client, but I hadn't tried to move then let alone walk.

The doors open up before me and it's at this moment that I notice Wolves and Leeches are lining the walls and their the ones who opened the door for me. The sound hits me and I almost cringe it's so loud.

Lumier and Cerberus are on the front and back end of Vexens' car, barking and snarling. "H-how long have they been like this?"

"About four hours. Every time he moves they switch positions." already the barking is starting to give me a headache and I want to yell at them to stop, but I just take a deep breath and sigh it out as I walk down the front steps of the mansion.

"Lumier, Cerberus… down." I haven't yet raised my voice, hoping that they'll just snap out of it, but their barking has easily drowned me out. Both are still snarling and growling and I clench my teeth together a bit. "Off!" the barking stops right away and as I raise my eyes I see them both looking at me, ears perked and tails starting to wag. Lumier's un-cropped ears are perked and Cerberus' satellite-dish ears are trained in my direction.

"Come." I point to the ground at my feet, glad that I can still stand straight enough to know it's in front of me, they both come over, trying to lick my hand that I'm pointing with before I pull it away.

"Sit and stay." they obey the command and I can tell that they know I'm at least not right, they might even know I'm mad at them for being so stupid in keeping someone as worthless as Vexen trapped.

"Axel… how dare you let them off the leash! Are you trying to have them killed? Is that what you want? Because I have my gun right here, I'd be willing to do that if you no longer want to take care of them."

"No, I still want them. But you know Vexen, he's a pussy, pisses them off then cant take it. They're not at fault for him being an ass Xemnas." I turn to go back into the mansion so I can sleep off my afternoon hangover by nightfall but Xemnas stops me.

"No, they don't. but you do! What the hell is going through your mind right now?"

"You're yelling, and it's hurting my head. It was a stupid mistake on his part. I've let them off the leash a bunch of times before this and nothing has happened. And I will continue to do so in the future." I push passed him and motion with my hand for Lumier and Cerberus to follow, not really bothering as Xemnas keeps talking since my only concern right now is feeding Lumier and Cerberus and then sleeping myself.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_ I'm standing on a street corner, looking down at my hand and I can see through it, not something I really like but can deal with. Cars are moving and as I look up I see the old Gas Town that used to thrive in Vancouver at night in 2012, back before the world went to ruins because someone got a big fat head and thought they could be Prime Minister by killing the current one and destroying all forms of government._

_ Lights are moving so quickly that I cant really see the individual cars as they drive by, and as I look up I see that a building- the one I lived in with Roxas -is lighting up different colors like purple, turquoise, red and blue. I can move my head but all I see are streaks of light, no matter how slowly I try and move._

_ At the end of the street is the remnants of what Gas Town was known for: a steam clock. It was a fairly large grandfather lock that looked like a miniature, grey Big Ben from London. I wonder if Big Ben is still even there, I've heard nothing of it since I left, or the Great Wall of China. Shit, I don't even know if the Pyramids are still there for heavens sakes. Vexen has taught me so much about world history, and I know if none of it is still there._

_ "Roxas! Roxas, hold up!" I turn my head once I hear the familiar voice and see Roxas walking towards me, his hands in his pocket and his eyes more dilated then ever as he walks among the crowd I have only managed to dream of being part of. I see Riku behind him and as I watch the silver haired boy catch Roxas' shoulder I want to push him away and steal Roxas for myself._

_ "What the fuck do you want?" Roxas turns to Riku and I freeze, seeing that he seems to be steady on his feet despite his high appearance, but maybe he's just been high so long he knows how to deal with it. "Axel!" he lunges and my eyes go wide as he smashes his mouth against Riku's._

_ "N-no, I'm not Axel. But I can take you to him. Listen… you have to come with me, and I can take you right to him."_

_ "No, Axel died, you're my Axel… aren't you the one that always stays with me?"_

_ "No, but I can take you to him- to the real Axel." Roxas presses another kiss to Riku's lips and pulls the silver haired boy closer. "R-Roxas… common, I'll take you to him."_

_ "No, stay… don't leave me again! Please! Please don't leave me again Axel!"_

_ "Then come with me Roxas… come with me and we'll never be separated." he sets his hand on Roxas' hips and I want to rip his arms off and throw him into a burning fire it's pissing me off so much. But I restrain my fairly transparent body and just watch the scene flow by as it will._

_ "But I'm scared… what if I disappear with you? I'm not ready to die."_

_ "You wont, I promise. I'll keep you safe. But we have to go, we have to meet him tonight in Abbotsford."_

_ Shit! It's the night of the fucking breakout. And I'm Dreaming! Damn, how do I get out of a dream? Where do I go to get out of the fucking dream? I look away from the two as Riku starts to lead Roxas towards his car and I frantically look around for something sharp to poke myself with so I can wake up._

_ "Shit! Fuck it Axel! Back to your body!" I start to run, I heard that if your dreaming of the real world and can find your body that you'll wake up. But this might not be the real world. I've never actually seen Gas Town to populated at night without copious amounts of drug dealers and hookers._

_ I am running through cars and people, buildings and trees, all just trying to find the stupid fucking mansion. I take the same turn but as I run the road runs out and I'm just running through the random forest, calling out to Roxas, Sora, Lumier and Cerberus. I just want to find my way back. My hearts beating so quickly I think I might hyperventilate and pass out soon._

_ I've been here before a few times, in dreams where I'm always running, trying to find Roxas nine times out of ten as I travel through an older Vancouver that is filled with cars and normal people who had jobs and worked from nine to five._

_ I don't remember turning, but I rush out of the trees and I'm in the middle of a high class restaurant, people are laughing and dining around me and I can still see through myself. I get a cold shiver as a waiter passes through me and he shutters too. I want to keep running, but I have a feeling I'm supposed to be here for some reason, if this is happening in real time and this is some sort of vision of what's going on when I should be escaping, it must be important._

_ "Yes, Roxas has been taken care of, he'll never seek out Axel again." the clothes the people are wearing have suddenly changed to old fashioned tuxedos instead of the newer ones the people had been wearing with thinner lapels and brightly colored edges and hems._

_ "How can you be sure. Because I swear if I see him outside my building again I'll kill him myself." my eyes train on a group of people sitting at a small table in the back corner. Xemnas, Saïx, Xigbar, Marluxia- who is the new Reaper by the way -Some black haired dreadlock man with piercing blue eyes. This has to be something out of my mind, but I never dream of them… what the hell is going on, I don't even know the dreadlock guy!_

_ "Because, he's drinking himself into a stupor, dropped out of school and he's already getting hooked onto drugs." it's the dreadlock guy that's talking and I cant help but glare at him as I walk over, obviously he's the one who's done whatever to Roxas that has made him the way he is._

_ "That isn't much comfort, how can we be sure, Xaldin?" Xemnas is addressing dreadlock-guy so I'm guessing the name Xemnas used belongs to him. Saïx crosses his arms over his chest while Xigbar and Marluxia start whispering about something._

_ "I only told him Axel is dead two weeks ago. He's dropped out of school and is close to drinking himself out of his apartment. And thanks to the money Axel keeps sending, he'll have ample amounts of funding that will keep him spiraling down." Xaldin sounds so happy and I want to rip his throat out, I actually reach out to strangle him, but my hands slip through his form._

_ "You bastard! You did this to him!" I try and punch him but again my fist just passes through his head and all he does is change his position and fix how his dreadlocks are falling behind him._

_ "And how are you coming along with the plans Xigbar?" Xemnas turns to the old Reaper and I turn my eyes on him, glaring. I don't know how my mind is coming up with all of this, or how I'm still dreaming when I know I'm dreaming. I don't want to be locked away in a dream where Roxas wont be alright. In all my dreams I've dreamt about him he's been fine, normal and the way I left him. He's been smart and he's been clean._

_ BUT THIS ISNT IT! Why cant I have a good reality for once! Are my dreams so far fetched that they will never become the truth? Why have I been targeted by the hells of the world and why has Roxas been dragged into it! Is this some kind of divine repentance for killing that family? For not saving Lilly? If only I knew why my life is being dragged down for!_

_ "My side of the plans are coming along great. Jenn is talking nonstop about Axel and is pretty close to making me crack though, I don't think we'll be able to wait much longer until she wants to come see him. It's been hell having her as my next apprentice by the way… she does nothing but talk and it's extremely boring."_

_ "So you cant hold her off until her thirteenth birthday?"_

_ "As if! I'll hold her off until then. I'm just suggesting that you get her checked out by a mental hospital after. She thinks she's in love with the guy, it's fucked."_

_ "Yeah well, we both know she's not the sharpest tack… but how are things going with keeping the other kids lined up to my doors."_

_ "Fine. Most of them are stupid… but some employers are starting to not care about licenses anymore. Their giving A class license holders C class jobs, a C class license cant get an A class job- yet. I have a feeling I'm part of a dying profession though."_

_ "Please, just get Mr. Wise to pass a new law… it's not that hard." I cant take it anymore. I want to kill them all and I cant, I cant even make any of these guys, shiver. I want so badly to just walk away, so I no longer have to listen to what they are saying about Roxas, and about me, I'm even upset about a few of the things their saying about Jenn. But my feet wont move, it's like I'm glued to the spot and the glue has been dried for days._

_ "Common brain… wake up, wake up."_

_ "I think I'm going to introduce Roxas to Nightmare Delirium next… if he gets hooked on that he'll go crazy thinking about Axel."_

_ "But will he think Axel is still alive?"_

_ "Nah, he'll probably see anyone as Axel. It causes hallucinations you know." Xaldin gives the table a smirk and my feet finally let me go. I'm about to cry, to just break down into a puddle of tears. My pride wont let me cry in front of them, even if they cant see me and this is just a dream though. I take off running, no longer caring where I end up. All I want is Roxas, I just want to see him, to hear his voice… to make it all better in my head and in reality. I don't want to think of Roxas and see a weak blonde boy who's addicted to ND. I want to see the strong willed love of my life again, I don't care if he's still got a few problems- everyone has fucking problems. I just want him, no matter how I get him._

**AN:**

**Me: I think the next chapter is going to be a lot of Axel in his dream.**

**Axel: tell them about the other thing! Tell them, tell them… if you don't, I will!**

**Me: alright, geez. It's is very plausible that I'll start switching between Roxas and Axel's POV's in future chapters of this fic, mainly because I want to get some of Roxas' deep emotions into the fic.**

**Sora: that'd be cool! Do I get my POV choice?**

**Me: no, sorry Sora.**

**Demyx: I still haven't been able to ask you yet but… WHY DID YOU KILL US?**

**ME: oh my… uh, this is a little awkward… your going to hate my answer, I know it. But ugh. I didn't want Axel to have to worry about so many friends. Xion was already planned to die because I wanted to put Lilly back into the fic. And then Zexion died saving you and all Demyx- because Xemnas was a jack ass. And you just couldn't live without him. I know it was shallow of me, but I'm just so sorry that I had to kill you! I love you, really Dem-Dem… I just didn't see another way to get all four of you out of the Boggle.**

**Demyx: but you didn't even cry when you wrote about it! It was like an honorable-fucking-mention!**

**Me: I didn't want to write about it because I didn't want to die! I teared up a bit writing about Xions death… but I don't like her as much as I like you.**

**Demyx: do you expect me to forgive you? ):**

**Me: no…. I don't deserve your forgiveness Demyx. I'm sorry :'(**

**Demyx: no! don't cry… oh shit, I'm sorry… I'll get tissues! Just please… don't cry, I'm not mad! It's just a fic… I understand… oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!**

**Axel: Your horrible Demy… she's bawling her eyes out.**

**Roxas: no she's not, she's smiling now… she wanted this to happen.**

**Me: oh never! ;D**

**Sora: thank you for reading and please review! We all love to hear what you have to say. Criticism is welcomed but flames aren't nice! (I believe there is a fine line between the two) have a good day or night and make as much of a mess as you want!**


	13. Chapter 12

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Twelve**

'_**Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty.'**_**- Mother Teresa of Calcutta**

_ I'm still stumbling and cant find purchase for my feet, but I don't care anymore; I'll jump off a bridge if it means I can wake up and see Roxas again. I want to get Sora and get out of the Boggle, even if it's hard and a few people die because they get in my way. My feet are heavy and I cant possibly think of somewhere to go and the scenery is just streaking by me now. Red, blue, green, yellow, and white lights are turning into streaks as I run._

_ Platforms and stairs seem to support me as I move, nothing falls out from under me and as I run to the end of the second floor and through a wall I fall and just keep running like nothing has happened. I have a feeling that something bad is happening though._

_ This dream always causes me problems, every time I've been here something bad has happened to Roxas and the dream only ends when he dies. One time it was running away from Xemnas in a forest, the next it was a large sinking ship in the middle of the ocean on our way to Ireland, then it was a building collapse, and the last time I had a dream like this… Roxas had been stuck on a bombing range and there was no escape._

_ The dream only ends when he dies, and he never knows I'm there. I had to watch him die alone. It's so fucking horrible every time I dream these kinds of things, but all I can hope for right now is that I'll be able to find Roxas again and try and will this dream to finally do my bidding for once._

_ I jump off the roof of a building and grind my teeth when I just land perfectly on the ground. I was hoping I'd get that falling sensation and wake up, but these stupid dreams never stop when I want them to._

_ "Roxas! Roxas, where are you?" my feet are stopped now but I still feel like I'm moving, almost like the world my mind has created was just put on pause and my 'body' just hasn't registered yet._

_ I raise my hands and cup them around my mouth, preparing to yell again when I'm stopped by someone tugging at the hem of my shirt. "Lea… Lea… why did you go?" it's a small voice, very timid and in normal circumstances I'd say that they were nervous about approaching me._

_ My eyes go wide and I lower my hands. I think my heart is about to explode… or implode, I've heard so many things and I've seen so much in this one dream that… I just don't want to know what else my subconscious has to give me- though it's never good._

_ I see the hair color first- fire engine red -and I already don't want to keep turning. True, I have seen my mother in dreams like this before, I've even seen my father… but I've never imagined them with such a small voice and I don't want to see who it is._

_ The face wont change, it's how I've always pictured her. Small, fairly short spiky pigtails, no bangs. Bright shimmering green eyes like my fathers, the smile of an angel like my mother. She's wearing a simple white dress that's going down to the floor and I cant help but think she looks angelic._

_ "Lea… why did you leave home? Why did you leave me?" No, no she was-is gone, don't answer, don't answer, she's just in your head, that's the only explanation. Her eyes are so wide and I know she wants to know the answer, but this is all in my head, isn't it? Even her using my real name is in my head since it's a secret that I'm sure died with the Reaper._

_ "Big Brother… can we sit down and talk?" the dreamscape is changing rapidly now, the lights that had frozen are dimming completely and we're coming into focus in my old back yard._

_ The swing set I used to play on, yelling at my parents to 'watch me' from the porch. The hanging loops I used to 'skin the cat' on; flipping forwards and backwards using the hoops as leverage. The old concrete dog house that was empty all but when I was playing in it. The porch we're standing on is the same, right down to the peeling cover/paint in the corner. The porch swing I remember watching clouds from is beside us, up against the house just far enough away that if you swing it as far as it'll go it wont hit the house._

_ I don't want to sit down, but Lilly skips over and sits down on the swing with a bright smile on her face and even if I walked for years I wouldn't make it back to Roxas now without my dream changing on its own. My muscles are heavy as I walk over, and as I sit down she pushes and tries to make the swing move, unfortunately I'm too heavy and the swing only moves an inch or two._

_ "Lea! Swing, please!" I let out a sigh and start rocking the swing a bit. My heart is beating so quickly I can feel my pulse in my toes and finger tips, making my head spin as Lilly starts to giggle beside me._

_ "So, uh… what do you want to talk about Lilly?"_

_ "You know me! That makes me happy, Lea." I haven't heard the name in so long that it sounds alien- even coming from her- no, my mind._

_ "How could I not know you… you're my sister, aren't you?" she nods her head and I cant help but smile back, even though it's a little strained._

_ "Yes I am! But, Lea… I want to talk to you about why you left home, and why you've left me alone for so long." right away the words are stabbing my heart with pain and I want to start running again. But I cant, even if this is just my mind I should give her the answers._

_ "It's complicated Lilly. I swear I would have come back to the meadow if I could have. But I couldn't."_

_ "Oh… why not? Did something happen?" I nod my head but I don't want to tell her, she must already know because she's in my head… but I guess it's that innocence that I have to save- even if my mind is as tainted as the black sea; the black sea is actually black by the way._

_ "Uh… yeah, I haven't had the ability to come and see you. I'm really sorry Lilly, I wanted to come back, I promise."_

_ "I know, Lea. I just… I want to know that… that you didn't leave be because I was a nuisance. I guess I want to know if you've thought of me."_

_ "Lilly… I can never forget you, it is impossible for me to forget that night."_

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I had been out practicing my sword fighting because dad had wanted to make sure that I knew how to fight in many ways. Since he was a very important warrior a few years before I was born.

My hands were stuffed in my pockets and my sword on my left hip. The village- or town rather -was crazy with people all running around because of the upcoming holidays, buying things with the little amount of money they all had. But it was all in all a nice day. I went by Axel already but for the simple fact that I thought Lea was more of a girls name at the time- though it is pronounced as Lee.

The town square was crowded with people and a few of them bumped into me, back then I didn't care- hell, I could have cared less if one of them had stepped on my foot! All I wanted was for people to remember me, all I want is for people to remember me. Women were yelling at their husbands to hurry up and they were following with arms filled with baskets and bags. The poor still prayed to whatever god they believed in, the rich prayed that the poor would still spend money to get the useless trinkets that would keep their kids all happy.

Lilly had been born the month before and I was having a hard time thinking of what gift to give her, after all… what do you give a baby girl who doesn't need anything and has three people showering her with their undivided attention and affection?

"Come one, come all! Have I got the thing for you!" like any seven year old kid I was curious, right off the bat. I turned my head to the side and spent a moment looking at a man wearing all green and dressed up like a Leprocon. It pissed me off a bit, but I walked towards the kiosk, trying as hard as I could not to tell the obvious Englishmen that he was being overly rude and racist… but the bright colors were making my eyes shimmer with curiosity.

"What's all this about, London?" I had a few gold coins to spend that day on Lilly, but I had wanted to make sure that I got her the right thing since I still had the first holiday present I'd gotten: the black stuffed cat I still have to this day, hiding in the drawer behind all the pictures.

"Well young man, first off, my name is not London. I'm captain Barbosa!" figured, the costume wasn't clean enough to be a proper man… he was a pirate, like I'd want anything from him for her.

"Well never mind Captain. I don't want to buy anything you stole." I turned away but a hand came down on my shoulder to draw me back- it resulted in a swift kick to the Captains leg, resulting in me realizing that his leg was wooden.

"Aye, walk away from the best gifts you'll ever lay yer eyes on Boy! But don't think fer a moment that you'll find somethin' better then anything that was once on my ship!" his accent was hard to pinpoint and I was detecting a hint of Caribbean, but I couldn't be sure.

"The name is Axel. A-X-E-L, got it memorized? And what baby would want something previously pillaged or plundered? I don't have time for this so thank you, and good day." I took another step away but he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer to the cart.

The man smelled of hard liquor and sweat, like he hadn't bathed or showered in a week as he lead me around the back, where a whole new crowd was, rushing out of a toy store.

"Now this right here… is what you need. It is something that was hand carved by the Egyptian kings. Four brothers who loved Ireland so much in their time, that they each carved a piece; the brother who ruled the north, the brother who ruled the south, the east and the west. They each carved a leaf of this solid gold four leaf clover that all clip together.

I watched with wide eyes as he grabbed the four separate leaves and wove the centers together, what looked like real Emeralds were placed delicately in each leaf in separate patterns and it made my skin prickle slightly to look at.

"It looks great sir… too bad it's fake."

His eyes go wide and I give a bit of a smirk as I take the four leaf clover and flip it over to show the slight rise of the almost ancient 'made in China' engraving. "First off… this was made in China, probably a hundred or so years ago. Secondly, around the time of the Egyptian kings… they knew nothing of Ireland. I might be a kid… but I'm not that fucking stupid."

I set the clover back into his palm and started back to my house, trying as hard as I could to not look back and shiver.

"Hey, come here a moment son." I looked up with a bit of a glare and looked over at the man, obviously dressed as an old fashioned pirate- or was that just what pirates wore? I had no idea to be honest, but I wasn't about to let him know that. I pointed to myself to make sure he was talking to me and he nod his head.

With a roll of my eyes I walked over, hands still stuffed in my pockets and my right hand gripping the gold pieces in my pocket. "Hello mate. The name's Captain Jack Sparrow. Now, how'd you like to hear a little proposition I have."

"No, you've already wasted enough of my time. Besides… there are too many captains here today." I turned to brush him off as I kept going. "And besides, the rules of the port are clear enough: associate yourself with pirates, and you basically are one."

He grabbed my shoulders and put his face annoyingly close to mine as he pointed in front of us like whatever he was pointing at was extremely important. "Listen here son, there are only two rules this entire world has: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance: you can accept that the world is horrible and there will never once again be a governmental type figure and the lot like me will rule the world, or… you can do yourself a favor and join the winning side of things."

"Pirates are nothing but bad luck."

"Ah! Fortunately I know how to counter it! The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it, while listening to a proposition by the one who did the waking. So you see, I need to bring me ship out of port and into Tortuga and I cant do it all by me onesy, savvy?" I only got half of the statement but still shook his hands off my shoulders.

"Well captain… you've got a problem then, because I don't affiliate with pirates."

"Affiliate… that's a big word for such a young lad. Learned are you?"

"No. I'm just not a simpleton." the simple indication that I was simple pissed me off a bit, but I just started walking again.

"Well that's good, because I cant have a simpleton doing what I ask of you. All I want ye to do, is go about the port, and get a few people to come and be mates on me ship. All I need is one man, and I'll give you; this."

My eyes went wide with what I saw: a small, golden four leaved clover that would have fit in the palm of my hand. It didn't look like anything but a clover, carved out of gold and it instantly caught my eye. "This isn't too special, and old fool melted down ten gold coins and made a block before carving this out of it. 'tis a solid piece of gold and not very expensive… but it's the craftsmanship that ye'll be wanting to have for yourself." as he pointed out the craftsmanship I looked harder at the leaves and noticed they were so detailed that they had the small almost microscopic veins that all shamrock clovers had.

"And… what do you want me to do again?" I looked up at him and he just gave me a wide, crooked-tooth grin.

"Just bring a few men about to me ship o'er there and I'll give ye this for nothing."

"Where'd you pinch it from?" he just gave me another grin and pushed me forward a little.

"You've got an hour. And as for pinching it… I bought it… off a man I killed." his voice lowered substantially when he said that last remark and I know I wasn't supposed to hear that. But dad was a good enough blacksmith to help me make it into a pin for Lilly and I was positive she'd love that.

I rushed through the streets, walking up to the shiftiest men I knew had previous affiliations with pirates and told them Captain Sparrow was looking for a crew headed for Tortuga… needless to say they all jumped right at the chance and asked me where the hell the ship was docked.

"Oi, Cap'in Sparrows docked in the harbor… anyone of ya lot looking fer a good time?" I was leaning against the doorjamb to the fairly empty pub, but everyone turned there heads in my direction and I glared as a man everyone called Gibbs stood up and walked over. He towered over me but I kept my cool thanks to the many times I'd been around the horrid men inside the pub.

"Sparrow you said? Did you say Sparrow you brat?"

"I'm no brat, and aye I did. Don' tell me yer hard o hearin old man." I smirked up at him and jerked my head since with him alone my count was up to fifteen and I'd really only been asked for one. "Wan me at take ye to 'im?"

"No. why the heck would I need a pipsqueak like you to-"

"I'm goin' back anyhow. And I aint no pipsqueak. The names Axel… got it memorized? Use it or shut up." I uncrossed my arms and started walking, no longer caring if the man came or not.

"So, where did ye say he was sailin?"

"Tortuga." it was a miracle how the underground pirate island that had been cut off the map for hundreds of years, had opened again with the lot of pirates like Jack. But I wasn't complaining since I'd get that pin as soon as I got back.

The ship came into view and I ran forward, stopping right in front of the Captain so he'd have only two options: step on me and get a verbal lashing, or acknowledge me.

"Oh! What a bright young lad… sorry son but move along. I don't let kids on my vessel."

"Oi, give me the clover Sparrow."

"Captain… Captain Jack Sparrow." he looked fairly angered but I just held my hand out.

"I brought you far more then you asked me to. Now hand over the clover ya said I could have."

"No… I said ye could have it for Nothing… this is something, so therefore; ye don't get it." the smirk that crossed his face made me want to punch him, and if it wasn't for the fact I was trying to figure out how to pinch it from his pocket I would have.

"You are a dirty, snake-skinned, yellow-bellied-"

"Pirate? Yes, yes I am. The best Pirate that's ever sailed the seven seas!"

"There are more then seven now ya gobber-mouth!" I used my right arm to punch his side so I could swipe the clover from his pocket, but he caught my hand and his sword was at my throat in an instant, three men- including that Gibbs guy -having their swords trained at me as I reached for my own.

"Don't even think about it son… you wouldn't stand a chance against a real pirate. Now go back to yer sandbox and play pirate there."

"I wasn't going to beat you… just surprise you long enough to take your attention away. But I guess it didn't work. I'll go now."

I ended up going home with a pendant necklace for her, all carved of the finest gold I could find, the pendant was a small flame that had a layer of resin around the base so that it looked more like real fire.

Unfortunately I only got to the end of my street when I saw the man running out of my house, blood on his hands and cackling like a crazy man. My mind started spinning out of control right then as I saw neighbors coming out of their houses and rushing over to see what was wrong.

_'She's our secret princess Lea… and we cant share her with the world right now.' _my dad had said those words for a very important reason: our town had a limit, and that limit was one kid. If she had been the outcome of an affair then we would have been allowed to keep her, but if she was my mothers, one of us would have had to die by the hand of the 'lord' who basically ran the fairly overpopulated town.

I rushed towards my house, praying that I'd get there before the first man burst through the door and would check my house, I wasn't sure if my family was still living inside, but by the looks of the man who ran out, they weren't.

But if anyone learned that my mother had had a second child, I'd be killed as punishment because I'm older and have 'had a chance to live' as they put it. I pushed through the crowd, not yet speaking or shouting at people to move. I shouldered the man at the front door aside and stepped in, closing the door behind me and barring it with a chair that wouldn't last very long.

The sounds of the neighbors and half the town shouting outside my door hit my ears and I started delicately picking my way through the house, blocking the sounds out completely.

"Mum… Dad!" I was praying I'd hear an answer as I looked down at the ground and saw the bloody footprints. The house was deadly silent in itself and I felt like I wanted to scream. It was so quiet.

Footprints were leading both upstairs and downstairs, some bare headed downstairs and others shoes headed upstairs. "Mum! Dad!"

I heard a breathy groan and rushed down the steps and dashed right into the large play room. I looked to the side and saw my mother, laying down in the middle of the toy room, her arms folded across her stomach and blood seeping into the beige carpet under her.

"Mum!" my feet moved before I really knew what I was doing, I could have been running into the person who did that to her, but as I collapsed above her, holding myself up as I kept saying her name.

"Mum! Mum, what happened? Mum?" I watched as she opened her eyes, her bright blue eyes were filled with watery tears and I could see the cuts on her hands and arms too because I'd gotten so close.

"Lea… look-look at you. Your not hurt."

"No, no I'm not Mum… what happened?" my throat was wanting to close as she reached up with one of her hands, I could see the blood even before her palm came into contact with my cheek and my eyes started to water a bit. "Mum, where-where's Dad and Lilly? Are they alright too? What happened? Are you alright, should I get-"

"Lea… listen, I-I don't have much time. I need you to do me a big favor Lea; you have to take Lilly, and you have to promise me that you'll run… I-I don't think your father g-got away… and Lilly's stopped crying. Don't-don't let the town know about her… they'll kill you because of it."

"Mum, I-I don't know what's going on. I'm scared." my heart was thumping in my chest and the tears were starting to run down my cheeks. I felt her reach her hand from my cheek and she brushed a tear off my face, smearing a bit of blood across my cheek bone.

"Lea… d-don't be sc-scared. J-Just hi-hide Lill-y." her breathing was getting choppy and she was fairly close to crying herself. "Promise m-me. Prom-promise you-you'll keep your-self safe."

"I'm scared. I don't want to loose you mummy." god, I hadn't called her that in forever I had stopped that when I was five, but seeing her there… dying. I couldn't do anything about it. What was a seven year old kid supposed to do? I wanted to save her, I would have saved her if I could have. "Mummy… you-you cant leave me alone! Please, please… don' leave me. Who-who'll take care o' me? I need you… I-I need you so much!" the crying was hysteric as I hugged her, feeling her hands running through my hair and scared that it was for the last time.

Even though her breathing was erratic and I could tell she was crying too I didn't let her go, crying myself as I whispered for her to not leave me alone. Describing the emotions is too hard and close to impossible, but if I had to pinpoint it down I'd have to say devastated and shattered.

"Mum… I love you, and I'm sorry." I raised myself up after a few moments of crying when the sound of my neighbors still outside hit my ears, pounding on the door like I'd open it just because they were yelling for it.

Her eyes were closed and there was a smile on her face, despite the fact she'd been crying as well. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead before standing up so I could go find Lilly to see if her and Dad were still alive.

My heart was beating too rapidly in my chest to count the beats, or how many steps it took me to walk up all fourteen steps and get into the kitchen.

Horrid, heartbreaking, shattering, frightful.

My father was lying on the kitchen floor, a throwing knife in his back and the corner of Lilly's blanket coming out from under him. I clenched my jaw as I walked into the kitchen further, Dad was completely still and from the angle his arm and legs were placed in that he wasn't sleeping or knocked out. A fairly large puddle of blood was around him on the white tiled floor and I could see that Lilly was under his torso.

My feet moved slowly this time, there was no doubt in my mind that he was dead, and that Lilly was under his torso, crushed to the floor. I knelt down beside him and felt his skin, he wasn't yet cold in the slightest, but I could see that he wasn't breathing.

Tears kept streaming down my face as I rolled him over and took Lilly out of his arms. She wasn't breathing either and I could feel that she was going cold already, the heat seeping from her hands and nose already. My hands shook as I kept her blanket around her, lifting her to my own chest and fixing dads posture so it didn't look so broken.

"I'm sorry dad… but I'll stay safe, I pro-promise." tears were coming down my face again, and I was wanting to stay behind, to have them see me and Lilly so they'd kill me too. So I wouldn't have to be alone in the world, so I wouldn't have to think about them every day, and so I wouldn't have to think of the last few minutes I'd spent inside my house.

With a sniffle and clenched jaw I stood up and carried Lilly to the backdoor. "Axel! Open the door! Mr. O'Riley! Mrs. O'Riley! Open the door!" the sound of my neighbors banging something heavy against the front door. I turned towards the back door and rushed out as the hinges of the front door blew off and I found myself running through the backyard and trying to squeeze between the space of two fences.

"Axel! Where are you going? Come back Axel!" I look back over my shoulder and see my neighbors coming out of my back door and started to chase me.

I ran until my feet couldn't run anymore, I was getting close to my hiding place where I'd just come from, the place I trained with my sword and the place I went to so I could get away from the annoying kids that didn't like me and picked on me.

"I'm sorry Lilly… I've hurt you, haven't I? I've made this horrible mistake and I didn't get there soon enough." my legs were killing me as I sat myself down and cradled Lilly to my chest, rocking back and forth a few minutes, feeling her turn as cold as ice as I pressed kisses to her forehead and wrapped her more comfortably in the blanket, not even realizing that I must have pinched a basket as I ran since the next thing I can remember is carving her name into the tree trunk that I loved so much, she was in the basket under the four feet of dirt I dug out, the golden fire pendant I'd given her was placed around her neck as I cried. Tears spilling out of my eyes and my hands shaking as I curled into a ball there, crying as I looked at the dried blood on my hands, knees and feet.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

_ "How have you been big brother? I don't know… have you been sad, because I think you have."_

_ I'm brought out of my thoughts and turn so I'm facing her, a sad expression on her face as she reaches over and wipes a tear away from my face. "I've been a little sad at times. But never enough to forget you Lilly." I didn't know I was crying until she wiped my cheek, and I'm cleaning my face of all tears as I swing us on the porch a little more._

_ "Oh. That's good… but I don't think you're telling me the truth Lea." she stops the swinging and stands up, moving in front of me- though I was never looking at anything other then her. "What's the truth big brother?"_

_ "I'm sad a lot of the time… but no sadder then I deserve to be."_

_ "I don't think so! You don't deserve to be sad! What did you ever do for that big brother?" just hearing her call me that is breaking me down further and I think I'm forgetting that she's part of my own unconscious mind._

_ "I've done a lot to deserve it Lilly. Some stuff I don't want to tell you even."_

_ "Alright… I'll drop it- oh! Will you come and push me on the swing, please?" she skips to the steps to the top of the deck, pointing downwards towards the swing set with a slight bounce. She doesn't have to ask twice and I move to follow her down._

_ It's been a few minutes pushing her on her seat and she's humming a little, she doesn't like being pushed high or fast, but she loves the lullaby I remember humming with Mum when they were both still alive._

_ "Thank you very much by the way Lea… I like having my name on the tree back home." I look up from her bright red hair I've been staring at and realize that we're in my hide out. The tree which I buried Lilly under is a few meters in front of us and I can see the carving as clearly as the night I spent doing it 'Lilly O'Riley. She didn't live long… but she was loved and more precious then the air I breathe.' it had taken me twelve hours to carve that, nonstop. I hadn't been able to put any of the fancy writing into it that I wanted, but the simple block letters were deep enough to not be filled with moss._

_ "I-I didn't know we were back."_

_ "I have to go Lea… and you have to go back to being Axel. I'm happy that, I could spend this time with my big brother. It… makes me really happy." she looks up at me from the swing I am clutching at before the two chains connecting it to the no longer seeable base, vanished and I am grasping nothing. "I love you Lea… and thank you so much for talking to me. I was scared that you wouldn't want to."_

_ I shake my head and look from the tree down to her, seeing a fairly taller girl, the same red hair in the same high pigtails. She looked about eleven and I realized that it's the age she'd be now if she didn't die._

_ "I want you to have this… it's meant a lot to me and it's kept me safe like you promised it would… but you need to stay safe now too." Lilly holds up the necklace I'd given her and I'm about to cry as she sets it into my hand, reaching up on her tip toes to kiss my cheek. "I love you so much big brother. Thank you for not giving up on anything- not once."_

_ I return the hug and hold fast, but before my mind can comprehend it, she's sitting in the tree, right in my spot and a bright smile on her face before she raises her arm and waves above her head. "I love you Lea! I hope to see you again in a long time!" the smile she's giving me is blinding and the white meadow we're in slowly fades so I'm just standing in a black abyss once again, Lilly's necklace in my hand and a few tears running down my face._

_ I have to get back on track and find Roxas, because without him this horrible dream wont end… but the more I think about it, the more I'm wondering if this is a dream at all._

**AN:**

**Me: I'm sorry… that was really mean of me, bringing Lilly into it and making Axel Lea- I hope none of you hate me for that (but in all fairness it was foreshadowed in the beginning of the fic)**

**Axel: we're still not back to the 'real world' yet, are we?**

**Roxas: nope… but is the next chapter going to finally have more of me?**

**Me: the fic is about Axel… not you. I know it's pissing you of Roxas… but I cant change that now, can I?**

**Roxas: yes you can… but I get it. You've already got four fan fictions about me.**

**Axel: awe… my Roxie is jealous of all the screen-time I'm getting. How cute! ^_^ isn't he the sweetest Elizabeth?**

**Me: sure. You guys are my favorite pairing though, so there isn't much to say about that.**

**Sora: my turn!**

**Gaara: please review. Elizabeth took my job away for a while, but I'm back now. We'd all love to hear your reviews and find out how you feel about the current twelve posted chapters. It'd make a all of us happy to hear what you have to say.**

**Sora: you stole my job! : (**

**Gaara: you stole mine first. I just stole it back. So please review ^_^**


	14. Chapter 13

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Thirteen**

'_**Hold that mortals thread of life, good and tight.'**_**- Fates from Hercules**

_ The overwhelming blackness is ebbing away a bit now, and I can see what look like stars, dotting the sky in a way that makes me think of all those sappy movies I've always envied… the kind where the protagonist finally gets home, when the inspirational, motivation song of the character starts to play and the crowd tears up in happiness for them._

_ "Roxas, I'm begging you… come with me, and I'll bring you to Axel. He's not dead, I know where he is!" Riku's voice reaches me but I still cant see anything but the stars, so why bother turning my head? It's not like anything I do now will make a difference as it is._

_ I miss my Mum, I miss my Dad… god, I miss the life I had. Seeing Lilly just affirmed that I have very little to live for now. Roxas doesn't remember me, Sora will be fine because I wont be there to 'inspire rebellion' and my dogs would be just fine. Sora will probably get them if he asked._

_ "Axel's gone… you cant take me to him because he's dead Riku!" the stars turn into the same unmoving lights and I can see the well known figure of Riku and Roxas standing side by side, Riku towering over Roxas just slightly and grabbing the blondes upper arm._

_ "Roxas… I'm begging you: listen to me- for once just listen to me! He wants to see you again. I told you to go to that Boggle because it's really him! It's not some kind of hallucination because of your stupid drug induced state! That man in there was really Axel O'Riley!" my eyes are fairly wide as I watch Riku shake Roxas a little bit and as Roxas in turn closes his eyes._

_ "No! It's-it's not him. I know Axel! He-he had some-something on his face! He-he wasn't my Axel!"_

_ "Roxas… they were tattoo's! you should have done what I told you and waited until you woke up the next morning to see his eyes! You always said that you could never recreate that color! You didn't wait Roxas! You had to just have a fucking smoke because you're an addict and you have a problem!"_

_ "Don't you think I know that? I'm scared Riku… I'm scared that if it's not him again that I'm going to die of loneliness! How do you know who my Axel is? I've seen a hundred of the louts and tossers! And I'm bloody-fucking-tired of it! I've never once wanted to see anyone other then Axel and I've gotten John's and Jacob's, five Ben's and nine Henry's alone!" I can see Roxas' face and I think I'm going to start crying again just hearing that, I don't care how he dies in this dream though, I just want it to happen so I can wake up and forget all of this._

_ "I know it's your Axel because he remembers you! He thought you were dead and you not remembering him has crushed him. But I'm begging you, come with me to Abbotsford and give him just one more chance to prove he is the Axel you know him to be." I've never seen Riku so enraged at one point and I can see that Roxas is realizing it. "Axel wants nothing but to have you back and to get away from Xemnas… please Roxas, just come with me."_

_ "No! I'm not going! You can't make me!" Roxas pushes Riku away and before I know it he's running away, Riku is shouting at him to come back and I'm chasing him, headed for the outskirts of town. There are tears streaming down his face and he is bumping into a few things every now and then._

_ I'm really hoping that this isn't what is going on right now, that these dreams are just crazy happenings of my head. But I know that cant be true, something has to be keeping me asleep and keeping me from ending this dream._

_ "Roxas… Roxas, can you hear me?" Roxas doesn't acknowledge me and I let out a sigh, my feet not even moving as I follow him into the woods._

_ Before I know it Roxas rushes off a cliff and the dream ends there, nothing but blackness for me to see and I'm stuck, I cant see anything, I cant even feel my ectoplasm-like body._

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I sit up in my bed, sweating and tears running down my cheeks to the point where I can feel my skin tight from the salt water not being brushed away right away. My throat hurts from crying and my right leg is cramped.

Luxord is over at the small table that I keep an electric kettle, five cups and twenty pouches of hot chocolate at all times. He's mixing some boiling water in with the powder mix then he moves over to the mini fridge and pulls out a carton of cream.

I try to steel myself again, Luxord knows I have nightmares… he's always here waiting with a cup of hot chocolate for me when I wake and he asks the question once or twice, but never pushes me for details for too long. I never like showing my emotions to him, but he normally watches me in my sleep, and I've never found a way to hide my emotions in my sleep as far as I know.

"Want to talk about it tonight?" I haven't checked the time yet, I'm probably not going to check my digital clock. I shake my head to his question and he sets the mud into my left hand and I take a sip.

I'm not sure why, but Lumier and Cerberus aren't here, normally their on the bed, laying overtop of me or right beside me… being as close to me as they can- depending on if I flail during the nightmare or not.

The hot chocolate is just how I like it with the right amount of Irish cream and I take the opportunity to look around my room for Lumier and Cerberus. "Where are the dogs?" Luxord just scoffs and plops down on the bed beside me, patting my shoulder a few times before answering my question.

"They're out back. Xemnas didn't want them smothering you in your sleep apparently." he scoffs and I just run my free hand through my hair.

"Yeah well… if their not there by the time I get outside Xemnas is going to have to- shit, what day is it?"

"Relax… that's going to happen tomorrow… you've still got lots of time to prepare… I fear that it's not enough, but it's what you said you needed."

"Where is Roxas? wasn't-wasn't he in the car too?"

"No, Riku took him back to his apartment for you. Apparently he knew the way already."

"Really?" was that part of my dream coincidence or sheer dumb luck? I look over at Luxord but he's just smirking at me like he knows something I don't, and to be honest he does, because I've been sleeping for… um. I turn my head towards the alarm clock and I raise an eyebrow. One hour… that cant be right. "How long have I been out Luxord?"

"Two days. You can hop into a shower, I'll go grab your dogs and some food for you- oh, but just to warn you, Xemnas is having some sort of dinner party tonight that he's imploring you attend. Your Tuxedo has been pressed and fixed, both dogs are to be groomed as soon as you can do that and Larxine is going to come in to do your nails and hair."

"Why the hell do I have to do my nails and hair? I'm not some kind of stupid chick. My nails are clean and my hair is never changing from the style it is now. hasn't the dumb-ass figured that out yet?" of course I'm referring to Xemnas, but when do I insult someone and it's not Xemnas?

"Does it look like we share a brain Axel? I don't know why the fuck he's tanned like a younger guy but grey like the old fart he probably is." now, in all fairness to Luxord, he never used to speak like this. He always had nothing but nice things to say about Xemnas and everyone else here, but it was most likely my influence that brought on his now obvious hatred for all things that have to do with this Boggle. "I'll be back in a minute or two with your food and mutts." Luxord rolls his eyes as he walks out of the bedroom, his signature deck of cards left on the coffee table.

Lea… I haven't been called that in forever. I didn't know it was the anniversary already… this really sucks, I'd wanted to be in Ireland for it this year. I guess next year will be my target date again. Ugh… this mean that Zexion's anniversary is next week, and Demyx's in two. It's going to be their first years, god, it seems like it's already been a decade without them too.

"Yoo-hoo! Axel, look who came to see you again!" I jerk my head up as the high pitched voice comes into my room and Larxine is followed in by Jenn. My eyes go wide and I clench my jaw, she knows my distain for her older sister… we openly mock her often.

"Larxine, what's she here for… does she need another two hour boyfriend for another get together or special occasion?" I run my hand through my hair as Larxine walks towards the spotless bathroom and Jenn crawls onto my bed towards me. I skirt out of the bed as quickly as I can and decide to follow Larxine into the bathroom.

"No, mom and dad went on vacation so uncles watching us both for a week. Jenn said she wanted to see you again and it's not like I'm going to protest- despite popular belief I don't have a death wish." I let out a sigh, a week. That'll fuck everything up, how the hell am I supposed to get out if she's going to be up my ass?

"Fine. Anyhow, I was supposed to get an hour. Get out so I can get my shower."

"Awe… too shy to have another shower with me Axel?"

"I was drunk… what can I say, you look enough like a boy for my liking." I wrap my arm around the small of her back and lead her towards the door.

"Larxine… you've had sex with Axel?" I look up at the fuming Jenn and finish pushing Larxine out of the bathroom with a small peck pressed to her temple. "How dare you! He's my boyfriend!"

"Have fun Larxine." I give a wink and close the door, making sure to lock it- though the lock snaps off with a shoulder to the right spot. I want to have a drawer there that I can pull out, but because of suicide risks it's not allowed and I have to have a camera in the bathroom, pointed at the closet door that you have to pass coming in and going out so they know if your alright or not- if the cameras and surveillance was working.

The hot water feels nice for a few minutes, but as soon as I lather my hair in shampoo the water suddenly shoots ice cold water making me yelp and curse because of the contrast.

"Mother Fucking! Shit-bitch crap-knocker!" I jump to the other side of the tub and slip, sliding down the cold tile wall, cutting myself on a jutting tile and falling right into the path of the ice cold spray I was trying to get away from. "Son of a bitch-whore!" I jab my foot into the tap and let out a bit of a sigh as the water turns off so it's just on the tap and not coming down in a shower spray.

"Axel… are you alright in there?" it's Luxord and I just grind my teeth together as I hear a few barks and a whine from the other side of the door. I look down on myself as I sit up and notice that there is a fair amount of copper in the bottom of the tub, headed for the drain.

"No… I cut myself, do me a favor and-" the bathroom door is slammed against the wall and Luxord is in front of me in a minute. "It was a tile you pervert! Get out!" he's trying to pull me out of the tub but I just sink down and push at his face to get him out. "I was asking you to get the first aid kit set up for me you asshole! I'm not trying to kill myself!"

"What the hell are you bleeding for then?"

"I slipped, I fell, shit happens. Now get out!" Luxord gets up with a huff, his eyes closed as he stalks out of the bathroom, leaving me with Lumier and Cerberus sitting on the floor, looking at me as I just sit in the tub. I'm not sure if the water is at a safe temperature to turn on yet or not, but I really don't think I want to find out… I have shampoo in my hair though and it's making the fresh cut in my back sting like a bitch.

I crawl to my knees and feel at the water as it comes out of the still running tap, it's still ice cold to the touch and I know I'm going to get an instant brain freeze… but apparently the giant house has finally run out of hot water, so I'm shit-outta-luck. Gotta love being a kicker, the perks are simply to die for: men and women throwing themselves at you, forcing you to do sexual shit you don't want to do, having to learn to just bare whatever they throw at you, teach yourself to do the basic shit that no one knows, having to put up so many emotional barriers that you'll never see anyone as innocent ever again. Yeah, it's fun to be one of us.

"Go to bed." Lumier gives me a bit of a glare but goes back into my bedroom anyhow, quickly followed by Cerberus. I wince a few times as I maneuver myself so my head is under the tap and I was right: instant brain freeze. I quickly wash the shampoo out of my hair, making sure to get it off my scalp so it's not itchy and I quickly let some water run down my back to start cleaning the cut.

I don't even bother with a towel as I walk into the bedroom since I felt the cut and it's about as long as my spine- just thankfully not touching my spine. I grind my teeth together a bit as I see Larxine and Jenn are still in the room, but I walk over to my bed where Lumier and Cerberus have managed to herd the two girls away from with growls and barks.

"So how did this happen Axel?"

"I slipped, nothing too extravagant. I think my door and wall are more hurt then me."

"Don't be too sure… this cut's pretty deep Axel. Could you have dug your shoulder into it anymore?"

"Probably, I was trying to stop myself you know." I try and roll my right shoulder but the muscles protest and I cant move more then a few inches on that side.

"Don't move you idiot! You'll just reopen the wound." Luxord hits me on my head and I grind my teeth together a few times while Luxord grabs out the correct solution and gauze that'll wrap my entire chest for a day or two.

"Your such an asshole Axel. You're an idiot really… hurting yourself like that. You deserve better Axel." Jenn stands up and starts climbing onto the bed. Both Lumier and Cerberus get up and block her path though.

I hiss a bit and they both sit down, still not letting her any closer to me. I turn a bit as I look at Luxord to see if I need to be kind to her. He shakes his head as he applies more cooling lotion to my back, getting it into the cut so it'll heal nicer then it normally would.

"Jenn… get out of my room, now." I turn to her and watch as her jaw drops. "I can have the dogs chase you out… but I don't think you'd like that very much. So leave."

"B-but Axel. I'm Jenn… you love me."

"No, you want me to love you. But it's called acting, I'm pretty good at it, aren't I?" I give her a bit of a smirk before I turn to Larxine, seeing the wide smile spread across her pale face.

"You know Axel… you still have to go to the dinner party Xemnas is throwing."

"How is he going to have a dinner party with the power off?"

"Vexen will have it back up within the hour. As soon as I bandage you Larxine will do your makeup and we'll help you get dressed. Those who have been your most respected clients will be here tonight- those who are still alive -and Riku will be here as well, he's bought Sora's night, but because of your more… recent reputation. No one wanted to risk buying your night so you'll dance with whoever asks."

"Actually that's changed. The whiny bitch that always wears white bought him half an hour ago." Larxine chooses now to tell me? Oh well, at least I'm not walking out the door ready to be molested by hundreds of perverts before I know.

"Thanks for letting me know Larxie… any other tidbit of information you want to give me or I should know?"

"Yeah, her highest competition was those two guys that always came in with Usla… what were their names again?" I shiver and it hurts my back like hell, I remember them. They'd basically raped me when Ursla passed out, unfortunately she'd paid so much fucking money that Luxord could do nothing to get me out of that situation, I wasn't able to sit right for three fucking weeks because of those bastards.

"Flotsam and Jetsam… fucking bitch-shits. What are they, her kids or something?" they've wanted to get their hands on me since Ursla died- which is really mean because she's one person that I didn't kill. I mean, sure I had it all planned out- but she had the fucking heart attack! How could I have caused that- well I know how I could have caused it, but it's not like I planned for it to happen.

"I have no idea. You just better be nice to her because she forked out more then three birthday allowances for Jenn and more then what the two of them were combining." I turn my head in Larxines direction and give her a bit of a smile.

"Now love… when am I ever unkind. Even you know how sweet I can be." it was sadistic I knew, always bringing up the past that consisted of both of us three sheets to the wind and a soft patch of grass out on the compound grounds under a fairly low hanging willow tree. If it hadn't been Larxine, and if we hadn't been drunk it would have been a nice night and really romantic- but it was and we were, so it's all really just a blur- just how I like my sex.

"Shut up you big palooka, I'd rather rip your-"

"Alright… how many times have I told you to not threaten him Larxine? I cant have a eunuch working for me- well I could, but he wouldn't bring in nearly as much money." Xemnas walks into the room and pats both Larxine and Jenn on their heads before even look up at me and his eyes instantly fall into a glare and I'm their target.

"What, the fuck… happened?" he's pissed as shit- I can understand why since I'm pretty pissed myself -and it looks like he's about to throw me down in the basement.

"I slipped in the shower- because the hot water suddenly went off mind you -and I hit my back on that stupid peninsular tile, I ripped up half my back thanks to that. And it really sucks, because I told you about it two months ago." Luxord unrolled a bit of gauze padding, placing it on the gash before cutting the correct amount. It was extremely thin and flexible, and it didn't absorb the medicine as much as gauze usually did.

"Do you really expect me to believe that?"

"Yeah, go in and look at the tile for yourself… 's got enough of my blood on it for you to figure it out." his eyes narrow further and he stalks into the bathroom as Luxord starts with the wrap that'll cover basically my entire torso.

"It's likely you'll have a scar Axel… unless I can get some other form of ointment on it now."

"He does not scar… put whatever the hell you have to on it, but do not let him scar Luxord. His body's already getting unwanted because of those horrid things marring his face.

"Hey, I like it, and customers think I'm sexy because I've got tattoo's. It works out best for everyone so don't give me none of that 'undesirable' shit you old fart." Xemnas' glare hardens and he walks over, grabbing my chin in his right hand and pulls me so I'm half sitting and half standing, forcing the new cut on my back to stretch.

"Call me old again Axel. I fucking dare you… you wouldn't live another two minutes after."

"Alright. Old. Man." most kickers would be horrified with that threat, I've seen him beat kickers so their an inch from death. But he wont do it to me. I'm too valuable to him and he cant do it.

He raises his hand and I know he's slapped me before I feel the sting, I just turn back to him and give a glare of my own, this isn't uncommon for him to 'assert his authority' as he calls it afterwards. He'll never touch me sexually, just beat me until I'm black and blue in all the right places so it's never seen by clothes.

"Luxord… do me a favor and take Larxine and Jenn down to their room so they can get dressed will you? Oh, and take the mutts with you too." Luxord lets out a sigh and stops what he's doing. I am so sick of this happening and I swear to god if my back wasn't killing me like it is I would kill him tonight as soon as that door closes. I'm sure that I can do it, it'll hurt, but I'd be able to if my back is better.

Luxord leaves my bandages and he follows Larxine and Jenn out of the room, motioning for Lumier and Cerberus to follow as Xemnas paces back and forth, cracking his knuckles and rolling his shoulders. As soon as the door closes he stalks over and I get another slap to my other cheek this time before pinning me to the bed by my neck, forcing my back into the several supplies Luxord left out on the bed, including the fist aid kit.

"I am so fucking sick of you! Do you think your some kind of god? Because I can prove right now that you're nothing but worthless, to me and to this Boggle. You think I cant find another red head- you think I cant _MAKE_ another red head?"

"Not one like me. Who d'you know tha's got an'Irish _drawl_ like me? Think ye could find 'nother kid tha' can glare like me and make it look sexy? Who are you going to find to keep your dirty little secrets hidden Xemnas? Most people would jump at the opportunity to squeal, but I know so many." I can see the shock and just smirk even though he tightens his grip on my throat.

"Then you'd be smart to keep your mouth shut, Axel." he half climbs onto the bed above me so his face can be closer to mine and I see his lips pulling into a smile as he uses his second hand to balance himself, pushing my back further into the first aid kit and forcing the open wound further open. "Or should I say… Lea."

My eyes go wide and his smirk only grows. "How many people know?"

"Just me… Xigbar told me a while ago. I've been debating on spreading the word, but why the hell would I want a pissed bitch working for me? Besides, Axel has so much more… spark." he lets the hand he's using to help stable himself trail up and down my torso, making me shiver. I've never felt his hands on me before and I hate the feeling. He's so cold and ice-like that it feels like his fingers are made of ice like swan sculptures and their leaving water in their path on my skin.

Anger is passed it's boiling point in my mind and I refuse to let him know that he's beaten me. Knowing my name, the name I've never shared with anyone, the name I've kept a closely guarded secret since I was four and thought it sounded like a girls name. If Xemnas knows that, I cant let him live… even if it means making my plans blow up while shit hit's the fan.

I jab my knee upwards and hit him right where it hurts. The movement opens the wound in my back further but I block out the pain as he doubles over and I send my right hand up into his face. His neck turns to an impossibly far angle, but he's not dead and I glare as he pushes my back down harder against the bed.

My leg wraps around one of his and I flip him over, both my hands on his neck, my just slightly longer arms giving my grip the upper hand as I strangle him, ignoring the kicks he's making to my back and his own hands digging into my neck. His grip isn't around my wind pipe though, just around my voice box, and he's not even strong enough to crush that.

His hands leave my neck and for a moment I think he's dead until his claw like fingernails dig into my back, forcing me to grit my teeth as he hisses, trying to speak.

It's taking too long, die, DIE ALREADY! I squeeze my fingers tighter and watch as his eyes go impossibly wide. His arms are loosing strength as he digs into my wound and even the feel of him inside my wound is invasive to the point where I would probably die of sickness if he had ever touched me sexually. He looks like nothing but a helpless man as his eyes finally close and his arms loose all their strength and he's just laying down on the bed under me, my arms still around his neck and a reddish line where my fingers have let up slightly. I don't want to have even the slightest possibility that he's alive, so I grab his chin and the back of his head. Jerking both my arms I hear the snap and twist his head some more for good measure.

I'm panting and I didn't even realize it, he's dead… oh god, he's dead! This wasn't part of my plan, I wasn't supposed to kill him with a house full of people downstairs he's supposed to be entertaining! What the hell have I done? I get off of him and stumble to the other side of my room, only remembering the huge gash in my back as I stumble into the wall and most likely leave a bloody print here.

"Axel, is everything alright- oh shit. What happened?" Luxord comes into the room and pushes his back against the door when he sees Xemnas on the bed. It takes him a moment for his eyes to fall on me and I must look wild because he's approaching slowly now. "Axel, what the hell happened? Why'd you kill him tonight?"

"It-it doesn't matter. Get Riku in here and help me h-hide him. The plan is being bumped to tonight." his eyes go fairly wide and he openes his mouth to argue, but I really don't feel like a debate right now. "Luxord… how long do you think we could hide him? It's not going to work unless we do it tonight. And if they find out I did it, I'll never get Sora out and away from Saïx, I'll never be free because they'll kill me!" my voice doesn't rise to a yell, but I want it to, oh do I ever want to.

"Axel, this isn't sensible. What the hell did he do that made you kill him."

"I don't want to talk about it. Can you just help me move him?" I push off from the wall and groan as the part of the wall I'd hit has made my bloodied back stick to it slightly and it hurts like hell.

"Fuck Axel your back looks like hamburger. What the fuck-"

"I'm not telling you what happened! Now help me Luxord!"

"Fine, but I'm bandaging your back first, and your not to do any heavy lifting. Just… sit on the couch until I come back." I nod my head in agreement and grind my teeth together as I pull my hair over my shoulder so it's not agitating my back.

I can't help but keep looking over at Xemnas, it's so odd looking at him, dead. I want to know what is going on, and I want to know what's happening- what's been happening.

My body starts to rock back and forth as I go through how the night will play out and every possibility there is for me and Sora getting out alive and safe. In every scenario my brain runs through I end up dead and Sora ends up stuck here on his own, unable to see anyone who can give him comfort and a twenty four hour watch inhibiting suicide.

I think I'm starting to shake, oh god… I've finally lost it. Dreams where Lilly is talking to me, killing Xemnas, I've fuck up, royally I've fucked up. What am I going to do if I don't get Sora and I out? If we both die and Roxas is lost to ND forever, god… me doing this is going to kill myself and possibly everyone I care about!

"Axel… I'm going to start wrapping your back now." Luxord's back already? Wow… I guess my brain is farther gone then I thought. I look up and see Riku sitting Sora down in the chair facing away from the bed. The brunette's eyes are pretty wide and I can see that he doesn't want to look at me in the slightest. Riku grabs the medical supplies off the bed, not caring if he jars the body or not and hands the stuff off to Luxord before moving back over to the bed and starting to wrap Xemnas' body in my bed sheet.

"W-we have to leave tonight Riku. There is no other option."

"I know. As soon as we get him wrapped and hidden I'll leave to get Roxas. Are we still meeting in Chilliwack, or Abbotsford?" I don't know the answer, I don't know if I care anymore. I just know that I need to know if something happens that's super important.

**AN:**

**Me: alright… that wasn't really planned- before hand at least. But I find winging it seems to make the stories a little more interesting.**

**Axel: wow… you basically made me out to be catatonic. Thanks (Can you hear the sarcasm?)**

**Roxas: I'm not really in this one. And what was up with those dreams?**

**Me: whatever Roxas.**

**Axel: Elizabeth as also decided that she will not be switching to Roxas' point of view unless needed for later plot bunnies that tie into this story.**

**Roxas: I want to be in this fic! Elizabeth… give me lines, give me scenes! Put me into this fic!**

**Me: I can do whatever I want Roxas. I could kill you off and put Axel with whoever. You're just lucky I'm a sucker for Akuroku or you'd already be gone.**

**Axel: she wouldn't really do that to Roxas… he's just getting upset because he's not in the fic a lot yet and it's 13 chapters in.**

**Gaara: thank you for reading and we hope to hear what you think of it. We all love hearing what you have to say. Constructive criticism is welcomed but flames are mean.**

**Sora: have a good day and make a mess of everything!**


	15. Chapter 14

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Fourteen**

'_**Can't take the Kid from the Fight, Take the Fight from the Kid'**_**- Panic! At the Disco**

Before I know it my back is wrapped and beginning to heal, Luxord and Riku have hidden Xemnas' body and I'm getting into my tuxedo. Xemnas was lifted and hidden over my bed so he's above the canopy. Riku has taken Sora back downstairs and their getting in a dance or two before Riku has to 'go check on his mother' something he wont actually do, but he'll go get Roxas. And I'll offer to bring Sora with me as I 'go to pick up Namine' since she's expecting me to drive to get her.

"Axel… are you sure your alright?"

"Of course I'm alright. My back still stings a bit, but nothing too bad." I'm fixing my bow in the mirror. My hair is tied down in a ponytail at the nape of my neck and I'm checking that the brightly colored lapels are correctly spaced. The earring with the tracker and sedative is just sitting in my ear and I can easily take it out, getting Sora's earring out is what's going to be hard- though I can afford to have him pass out because of the drug- but I cant.

"Axel, I mean emotionally. You did just kill a man. And I don't think you're-"

"Luxord, drop it will you? I'm fine. It's not like he's the first and he might not even be the last." I finally look presentable with a bit of bright violet eyeliner on and my eyes looking no more of less normal then they usually do to me. Of course I'm not completely fine, I'm freaking out and I cant help but think that something bad is going to happen with my plan. I've checked and rechecked everything though and it should be fine.

"Do me a favor and cover for me for a minute or two while I go down and prep Lumier and Cerberus." Luxord knows he's going to follow me and Sora out in his car with both of them in his car, then once we get to Namine's place we're going to pile everyone into my car and drive off, leaving all the trackers behind. But I have to take Lumier and Cerberus' trackers out here because their not allowed to leave so Luxord will have to smuggle them out.

"Fine, I'll meet you down in the main room of the house." the bottom floor was a really open place, lots of space for things like dinner parties and overall 'come fuck my kickers' parties that Xemnas often held. Luxord leaves my room and I let out a bit of a sigh as I walk over to the night stand and open the drawer with the few things I still own from my old lives.

I take the two pictures and the fairly small stuffed cat and put them into a drawstring bag I've trained Cerberus to not drop. Stitch- the black cat stuffed animal -is the first thing I was ever given by my parents, and though he's worn out and old, I don't think leaving him is an option.

I close up the drawstring bag and let out a sigh while I move towards my door. Wolves and Leeches are crawling all over the place tonight and this really isn't ideal in the least, but if I have anything it's confidence that I can still get Sora and I out of here- at least. "Axel! Hey, where are you going?" a hand is clapped on my shoulder and my eyes go wide when I once again see Danny standing behind me, smiling like he'd just won the lottery.

"The usual, going to give the dogs out back a treat for the night. You know how it is… keep them happy and all." Danny nods his head and I grind my teeth together. I'm surprised I still have teeth left to grind as I walk. If he clings to me then I'm fucked, as in up shit creek without a paddle and heading towards a water fall kind of fucked.

As soon as I drop the bag off in front of Cerberus he bites the string and lays down, allowing me to reach under his collar and pull out the tracker and toss it into the back of the dog house. I motion for Lumier to come over and he does, allowing me to pull his tracker out of the collar pouch. I press quick kisses to their heads and fluff Cerberus' fur, smoothing Lumier's out a bit before leaving.

"So Axel… got any major plans for the night?"

"Nah, gotta go get my date then coming back." Danny raises an eyebrow and his smile drops. He wraps one arm around my shoulders and pulls me to the side slightly so we're still not in the party area yet.

"What are you doing here? I thought you got some kind of transfer years ago to Toronto."

"Nothing to worry about Danny. Anyhow I'll see you when I get back, gotta take my friend to get some fresh air while I'm out." I duck out from under his arm, glad that the pressure is no longer on my back and walk right up to Sora, seeing that Riku's still here.

"Hey Sora… are we going?"

"Going where?" I freeze as a hand slides up my back, stopping on my shoulder and squeezing a bit. I look over my shoulder and see Saïx, a glare on his face.

"I asked Axel to take Sora to my apartment since my car is a mess. It has no room for him right now. And he's passing by as it is, it shouldn't inhibit him getting to Namine's." his voice is so fluid as he lies through his teeth.

"Fine, but I want you back within half an hour Axel." I nod my head in agreement trying to keep the smile on my face despite the fact that he's still touching my back and it hurts so badly. Saïx squeezes my shoulder again, much harder then the first time and I have to bite my tongue to make sure I don't yelp.

Before even Riku has a chance to say anything else I grab Sora's wrist and pull him towards the door so we cant possibly be stopped. Sora stumbles a few times and I practically push him into the passengers seat of my car, fairly glad that we're out of the building but feeling my nerves hitting me hard enough to make me want to break down again.

"Axel… are you alright to drive. I can do it if you need me to." Sora is really considerate, but I just want to drive so we can get away. I know that Saïx wont go long without knowing where Xemnas is and as soon as they find out he's missing he's going to lock the place down and if our trackers aren't all gone by then we're fucked.

"I'm fine Sora… just hold onto something once we get out of here." he nods his head and tightens his seatbelt slightly, no smile on his face for a change as he sinks down slightly and I turn the car on, hearing the engine purr. I don't know how long we should trust my car for though, Xemnas could have had a secondary tracker placed in it when he had the work done only yesterday… or was it the day before? I don't even know how long it's been, this is bad. If I'm loosing my sense of time I could very well be going crazy.

Pete motions for me to stop so I slowly roll up to the gate, seeing the electric charge from my spot in the car and looking up at him. "We're allowed out Pete! Open up the gate." he glares at the car and I see him reach into his pocket, grabbing his phone out and checking the messages.

Lights hit us from behind and I check my rearview mirror to see Luxord is behind us, casting the individual seat shadows against the chain link fence. My eyes raise up to see Pete glaring at his phone then down at us.

"Sorry Axel, the house is going into lock down. Xemnas is-" my engine cuts him off as my foot presses the pedal into the floor and the front end hits the fence. "Axel! What the-" Pete is cut off again as I hit the pedal again and the front end of my car starts driving over the gates as they go down.

"Axel! What are you doing?" Sora grips my arm and I can tell he's scared.

"Getting us the hell outta here." Sora grabs my arm tighter and I see him curling up into a ball on the chair as my foot digs in further and the gates finally break open in front of me. Pete has made it down from his tower by this point and he rolls over my car as I hit him, forcing both Luxord and Riku to do the same since they've both made a line behind me.

"Here, call Riku and tell him to grab Roxas quickly, have him take Luxord with him while I get you outta here."

"But, what if they-"

"Riku has nothing to do with this. He started chasing us down with Luxord but we lost them. Just call him and tell him to tell Luxord, alright?" Sora nods his head and takes my phone as I start on the winding road that will take us towards the city. "Better yet, just make it a conference call."

I see Sora raising the phone out of the corner of my eye and what he says is the only sound I'm paying attention to for a moment. "Hello Riku… just give me a second for- oh, hi Luxord. You've got me and Riku here. Axel wants me to tell you both something, so just listen because I want to get this right. Axel wants the both of you to go get Roxas, he's going to take me to Abbotsford so we'll have the head start since if they come after us it'll be me and Axel they will be coming after." he wait's a moment and nods his head a few times. "Alright, give me a second."

Sora turns to me and I take a turn rather harshly because we're going so fast. "Luxord wants you to pull over, Lumier and Cerberus are freaking out, Riku will keep going and Luxord is going to meet up with Riku at Roxas' apartment."

"He knows where it is?" Sora relays the question and nods his head in agreement. "Alright, I'll pull over at the next turn, I'll also be removing the trackers that we still have with us." Sora nods his head and I slow down as we near the corner, Riku passes Luxord and us, Sora nodding goodbye to the silver head for a few seconds before Riku has vanished around the next corner right away.

I turn the car off and flip the glove box open, rifling through it for the tracker and as soon as I find it I open my door and throw it into the woods. "Come here Sora." the brunette crawls out of the car through my door since his is too close to a tree. "This might hurt a bit, but you'll be fine alright? I'm going to take the tracker earring out for you." Sora nods his head as Luxord opens his door and lets Lumier and Cerberus out before walking over himself.

"Is there something else I need to know Axel? Because I'd really rather not have a freaking out Riku when I get to Roxas' place."

"Just let him know that Sora will be there. It might take me a bit longer then I thought, but he'll get there. And whatever he does, he has to keep going. You've all got to keep going."

"Axel… what to do you mean they've all got to- ow!" I've pulled Sora's earring out harshly and as I look into the red eyes of the dragon I see that their just glass bubbles and the red injection is gone. "Axel! What did you-" Sora's pupils go wide and he falls forward so I catch him.

"Axel… what are you thinking in that stupid huge brain of yours?" Luxord moves beside me and help me hold Sora up.

"I'm doing the smart thing and throwing them off the trail. You take Sora, I'll give you a number that you can call in Halifax- the three o'clock train in Chilliwack will take you right there, I've even got money for tickets so the four of you wont have to ride the rails." I drop the earring into my pocket and lift Sora up, holding him bridal style as I walk over to Luxords car.

Luxord opens the door for me and I slide Sora into the passengers seat. "Axel, I don't like the sound of this."

"I've got it all written down Luxord. Here." I take a slip of paper out of my lapel pocket, it has step by step instructions on what to do when they get to a stage of the trip. "Once your in Ireland it'll be a little tricky, but there is a letter I've written to the man listed there. Give it to him and he should set you guys up with what you need until I get there."

"Axel… what's up with-"

"I'm calling in all my favors Luxord, with that small stack of paper I'm calling in all my favors, and I've only got so many. Please Luxord… follow the steps and try and help Roxas with his addiction. I'm begging you Luxord."

"And what's your plan Axel? What the hell are you going to do?" he looks mad and like he's about to blow his head at me. "Tell me Axel… where is the paper with your steps?"

"It's in my head. I'm going to lead them away from you guys, give you the best shot."

"And how are you going to do that Axel?"

"I have this." I pull Sora's earring out of my pocket and hold it up. "As long as they think we're still together they cant prove anything. They'll follow me and you will be bundling up by a fire in Ireland by Christmas." I give Luxord a bit of a smile before curling my fingers around the earring again and slipping it back into my pocket.

"Axel, you're crazy… what the hell do you think is going to happen? Do you think you're just going to have a bit of a trip before meeting up with us in Ireland like a story book?"

"No. I'm planning on being there in a year. I'm going to travel as much as I can to throw them off… just, stick close to that guy in the letter Luxord. He'll keep Roxas and Sora safe from Saïx if he comes looking for them." I feel once again like I'm going to cry, I'm putting myself away from them for so long, my plan cant be helped if I don't know their safe. And me running will give them at least until they get on the boat out of Canada, then they'll be safe.

I reach into my back pocket and pull out a few hundred gold coins in a leather pouch that'll get them train tickets and hold them out for Luxord as I close Sora's door. "I really couldn't have done this without you Luxord."

"Axel, I've watched over you for seven years, do you really think I'm just going to let you walk away? What do you think I'm going to do? I'm sticking with-"

"No, no your not Luxord. You have to do this for me Luxord… I've never asked you for anything in the past, but I will get down on my knees to beg you to do this for me."

"Don't beg… I'll do it. You should just know that I don't want to." Luxord takes the money and stuffs it into his pocket. "You're a good kid Axel… no matter how many deaths are under your belt." he gives me a hug that I don't return and I feel a kiss pressed to my cheek before watching him climb into his car and drive off.

He's wrong, I'm not a good person. I'm horrible… all I do is give my problems to others. I should be the one to help Roxas with his addiction, not give that task to Sora, Riku and Luxord. There is nothing that I'm doing that'll really help them, because Saïx will still send them out after Luxord's car. There will be a trail that Saïx will be able to follow if he tries… but I'm going to be working with faith here and begging that he sends more people after Sora and me- well, our trackers that are staying with me.

I don't want to be away for a year, I don't want to not see Roxas for that long, but Cerberus came out of Luxords car with the bag so I'll at least have the picture. I put my hand into my pocket and grab my cell phone out, I hold it in my hand and just feel the weight of it before holding it back behind my head and I chuck it into the forest as hard as I can.

There is no going back for me, I'll kill whoever comes after me and I'll slaughter whoever goes after Roxas… I don't care if he hates me for it and I don't care if I die trying to protect him anymore. Because leaving wasn't the thing to do, leaving is the worst possible thing I could have done, I just need to know how many horrible mistakes I'll make before getting something right I guess.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I must have stood there for at least ten minutes, just long enough for me to feel like Saïx was barreling down behind me. I had to move so I hopped into my car and started driving again. I'm coming up on the border now and rifling through the bag Cerberus has carried this far for my license so I can get passed the border without someone wanting something out of me.

People no longer care about who's going into what country, they just want to make sure that if anyone on a bounty list crosses them that they get the head money. My name isn't on such a list and thankfully it wont ever be on one. Only people who have killed others and there has been proof have ever gone onto a list, and even so, I'm pretty sure I wont blink to get as far away from Roxas as possible.

Lumier pokes his head between the front two seats and licks the side of my face, forcing me to smile because of the affection. "Yeah… I'm alright boy, don't be scared." I know he's never been off the estate since they brought him in and he's probably as scared as hell, but I cant let that stop me now.

I slow down as I approach the heavy metal burrier that is operated by a very buff man. My finger falls on the button and my window slides down as the man leans forward, setting his elbows on the edge of my window and a feral grin crosses his face.

"Hello there… and who might you be?"

"Axel." I hand him my license and his eyes go fairly wide.

"Wow… how old is this thing?"

"About seven years… I've been off the grid for a while. Is there a problem?" he looks it over and checks my face again.

"Just give me a second." he takes my license into the booth and I watch as he tinkers with the computer and keeps looking at me through the window then looking down at my license. It's impossible to think that I'm not the person on the license and he's coming back now, a smile on his face.

"Go right ahead Axel. Have fun and don't get into too much trouble, or I might not be allowed to let you back without your head attached." I give him a smile despite Lumier and Cerberus growling in the back.

"Awe… I could never do something _that_ bad." again. I watch as he flips a switch and the barriers go back into the ground. I hit the gas as he opens his mouth to say something and kick my speed up as high as it'll go, wondering where the hell I should go first in my year trip away from Roxas.

Cerberus climbs into the front seat beside me and sits down, looking out the window and I cant help but roll it down a bit, watching as he sticks his head out like all those movies that were made in the 2000's. It's hard to think that all the really good things in life happened a century before me, a whole century and now the world is just a chunk of rock. We're no closer to the moon then we were when that American guy first stepped on it, we're no closer to a greener world, and we're certainly not closer to a crime free world.

"Do you like the wind boy?" he looks back at me and his face is so goofy I only wish I had a camera that I could use. Lumier sticks his head to the window too and I take a moment to watch the two of them before putting my eyes back on the road.

It's dark and if it weren't for my headlights I wouldn't be able to see anything. The concrete road is going through a wooded area and I have no idea where I'm going… the only thing that is keeping me from going back to Vancouver is the fact that the mirror of my car has a compass and it's telling me that I'm going South, my speedometer is reading 140 MPH and I'm happy as a kid in a candy store once again.

The roads are still smooth and I feel like I want to drift into sleep, but I cant stop moving for at least five hours, if I stop I don't want to think about what will happen, if I stop I don't want to think about what that'll mean for me, if I stop I don't want to think about what'll happen to Roxas.

My foot is starting to feel heavy and I want to just put the pedal to the medal and run… my flight reflex is kicking in and I cant help but want to just get as far away from Vancouver as possible. My plan is flawless, run around the world for a year to loose Saïx's trail on me and Roxas.

I don't really want to loose to Saïx, mainly because I've already beat Xemnas… but I don't know how much farther I can go without giving out. How many people can I kill before karma catches up with me? How many sets of eyes can I see the life fade out of before I feel more regret and I'm unable to deal with it? How much can I possibly do before my body gives out and I'm dead on the floor before I know anything even hit me?

Lumier pushes his head into my cheek and I cant help but give a bit of a smile as I reach up and rub under his chin. He gives a doggish smile and I cant help but slow down just enough that I'm not screaming down the road, even though the lights that have been behind us for a few minutes are concerning me a bit.

"Alright Axel… you're alone, in your car, with your dogs… and you're running away from Saïx. He's chasing me because I've killed Xemnas, and I'm going to Florida. What the hell is it in Florida that I need? Um, um… right! I want to go to Florida so I can go to New Orleans so I can get rid of the stupid tracking devices in the swamps! That'd be the best place to get rid of them; give them a nice clear trail to follow then cut it off and make the rest of it as hard for him as I possibly can. I think I want to loose him in Africa, if my plan works out the way I want it to at least.

Now, most people would have a simple plan, something that isn't as intricately thought out as mine is… but there is no plan better then mine!

First I'm going to drive to Florida and pick up some of the basics, nice clothes that I'll be able to move in, maybe some hair ties since I'm not going to want my hair to look like a lightning bolt for the whole year, some stuff to make Lumier and Cerberus more comfortable in the back of the car- maybe trade this baby in for a better vehicle (Oh, like a jeep!)

After Florida I'm going to drive up to New Orleans, probably hang out there for a week or two and then I'm going to dump the trackers and boot it over to Texas, spend a week or two around the tall people there and get a pair of cowboy boots, maybe work a little for some random company so I can have more then just the small amount of money I'll have in my pocket. All I really know is that I'm going to spend the next month or so slumming in my car until I'll ditch it somewhere or trade it for something and then I'll finally be able to go off the grid and run that way.

Texas is just going to be a passing through kind of thing though- at least that's what I want. I want to get right down into Mexico and get to the Panama Cannel as fast as possible so I can travel down through Brazil, I've always wanted to see the rainforest, it's been great in all the stories I've read and all the pictures I've seen in books. I kind of hope to see all the great wonders of the world though this trip.

But once I'm at the tip of South America, I'll somehow get to the Folklands, and from there I'll hang out for a month or two, maybe help with some kind of research and get a bit more cash. Before going to South Africa, from there I'll make my way up Africa by whatever means necessary. Then I'll take a plane from Cairo to St. Petersburg and travel through Russia.

Once I'm above Asia I'll go into Mongolia and then hop over to Japan. I'll hang around in Asia for a while, probably get lost in the crowds- maybe I'll pick up a bar tending job or something while I'm there for a little while.

I'll work my way to India form there though, and from India I'll take a plane and go to Australia and see some kangaroos!… unfortunately after that my plane kind of runs out of steam… I want to stay out of Europe as much as I can until I'm ready to go back and know that Saïx isn't on my trail anymore… I just don't know where to ditch him completely.

I come back to reality and see that I'm just entering Seattle, nothing for me to do but keep going, I have to run. Lumier pushes his nose into my ear and I have to just shiver because of the cool feeling before I swat him away with my free hand. "Go away Lumier… I need to think." the truth is I don't know what to think about, but whatever I do think about it has to be precise and consistent.

Lumier does it again and I let out a bit of a sigh. "Lumier… I'll feed you- oh. Shit, I haven't fed you yet. Alright, I'll find a pet shop." great… that's something I didn't plan for, especially this close to Vancouver. I just hope that Saïx isn't that close behind us that this stop will kill me.

I slow down a bit as we come into city boundaries, there are a few cars on the road, but they don't seem to be in any kind of hurry- unlike me. So I weave in and out of the few cars on the road that I'm coming across every few minutes. Lumier has curled up into a ball in the back seat and Cerberus has lost interest of having his head out the window and is just contently sitting in the passengers seat and looking at either me or the road.

I scan the surrounding roads for some kind of sign that there is a pet store, but all I see is a dinky PetSmart, and the last time I was at one of those the employee almost molested me. I don't have much of a choice though since I need to get both of them some food- too bad I'm still in my tuxedo though, it'll be hard to explain if I'm asked. I guess I could give them some kind of bullshit about a funeral… it'd be an alright lie.

With a sigh I turn the wheel and park my car, wondering if I need a leash to bring my dogs into the store with me for a moment before screwing the rules and opening my door so they can both hop out.

Lumier goes right to the tree beside the car in the little island and Cerberus starts sniffing at the concrete. I can tell he doesn't like the texture of it just because he's walking a little too delicately, as long as I don't make him run on the stuff right off the bat it wont hurt his paws- bonus to having the car.

"Lumier, Cerberus, come." they both perk their ears in my direction as they erect their heads and start following me, Lumier on my right and Cerberus on my left- just as it always has been.

I unbutton a few buttons on my tuxedo jacket and stuff my hands into my pockets as the sliding doors open for me. I hate sliding doors… are people so fucking lazy that they cant hold a goddamn door open for two seconds anymore? Lumier and Cerberus raise their noses and start sniffing around for the major feel of the place, but because of the huff I hear from each of them they can smell the other dogs and don't like it. Despite that though, they don't leave my side.

"Oh, sir I'm sorry but you're dogs must be on leashes. It's against company- wait a minute… do I know you?" I stop and look up at the fairly old woman in the green dress, the black store apron tied around her waist and a puzzled expression on her face. "Hey Flora… Merrywhether, come here!" she turns around still looking at me out of the corner of her eyes and I really don't know if I should just leave the old bat alone and keep walking.

"What is it Fauna?" my eyes dart to a slightly shorter old lady wearing a reddish-pink dress and the black apron before another much shorter and stouter woman comes over, wearing a blue dress and black apron.

"Does this man look familiar to either of you? I feel like I've seen him before, but I cant put my finger on it." ever think you're just plane old bat-shit crazy? Of course not, why the hell would anyone think that of themselves when it makes sense? I let out a sigh and step around the group as they start to whisper to each other, motioning with my hand for Lumier and Cerberus to follow me I leave.

I skirt around the crazy ladies and look up at the signs for the store: Rodent Care. Reptile Care. Fish Care- wouldn't the fucking dog shit be in the front of the store? Cat Care- I think I'm getting close now at least. Canine Care- great! That's me!

I turn down the isle and stop as three very large Doberman Pinchers start barking and growling down at the food end of the isle. The owner looks to be having a shitty time keeping them under control and I just let out a sigh, motioning for Lumier and Cerberus to stop growling and sit. They're so quiet and compliant when I command them to be, knowing full well that they only listen to me because they want to and are loyal to only me- the fact I give them food is a good reason too.

"S-stay back! M-my hands are slipping!" the man is short, stout- and could undoubtedly lay off on the donuts. His white and blue striped shirt is riding up around his stomach and I can even see he's got an out bellybutton, and the bright red shorts he's wearing isn't helping him in the slightest.

"Whatever… just get out of my way so I can get some food." he shakes his head and I let out a sigh, stopping just outside his dogs reach and rubbing the back of my neck as I glare at the guy. "Listen I've got no problems with kicking them, I'm not the one who'll have to pay the vet bills and I'm not the one who'll have to put up with it." the guy just shakes his head again and I grind my teeth together.

If the stupid bloke wasn't so insecure the goddamn dogs wouldn't be freaking out so much because someone else was in the freaking isle. I hold my hand out for the dogs so they can get my scent, it doesn't help and they just keep barking. "Fine." I lower my hand and take a step further, watching as all three of the dogs back off a bit. This stupid guy with the shirt reminds me of someone, but I'm not really interested in remembering. I stride passed them, watching as the mans eyes go wide and I bend over to grab the two different bags of food, one for German Shepherds and the other for Great Danes.

I'm out of the isle and headed for the cashier when the three ladies walk right up to me and the one wearing blue stops me. "Your Axel, aren't you?" I just raise an eyebrow and walk around all three of them, both bags of dog food are on my shoulders and my arms are loosing circulation.

"Ha! It is him, I told you Axel wouldn't answer!"

"A lot of people wouldn't answer you Merrywether… it doesn't make him Axel." the green dressed lady walks to the other side of the till and she uses the gun to scan the tags. "It's ten gold coins love." it's expensive but I don't really have an option since Lumier and Cerberus are practically drooling.

"Excuse me… can I leave these here for a moment? I need to grab a few more things." the lady nods with a bright smile and then goes back to gossiping with the other two- is there really nothing better that old ladies do?

"It's Axel, I know it… who else would have bright red hair like that and green eyes?"

"Uh… any crazy person with money for hair dye and contacts."

"Yeah, but there were no roots, and his forehead wasn't dyed."

"Ever think he could have done it yesterday or the day before?"

"I'm telling you, that's Axel… the guy in the picture that woman showed us." alright, my interest has been piqued.

"Yeah… but she didn't seem all that real… I mean, sure her hair was bright red and she had pretty eyes… but could she really have been his-"

"Shhh! don't you think that's something for her to figure out? We shouldn't even get involved in this Flora… you just like the thought of that happening." I raise an eyebrow and grab four metal dog bowls off the shelf before moving over to the dog beds and grabbing three large ones that I can spread across the back seat of my car for Lumier and Cerberus. I stand for a moment and think, trying to hear what their saying.

"It sounds too good to be true. Are we sure he's not just in trouble… I mean, he pulled out ten gold coins like it was no problem- ever think he could be a thief? He's too young for that kind of cash." well apparently they don't know how much someone can get for selling their body for sex.

"I doubt it… he's wearing a tuxedo, what criminal do you know that wears a tuxedo?"

"And he's also wearing that tuxedo to buy himself some dog food… isn't that suspicious?" alright, so I guess their not going to tell me about this mystery person who had my picture or something apparently.

Before I know it, I'm cashed out, I've got Lumier and Cerberus in the back of the car, eating their food while I'm driving and I have no idea why I'm running again… I just feel defeated and down. Saïx wasn't kidding when I was a kid: _'We have to take the fight out of the kid!_' I probably couldn't have said it better myself.

**AN:**

**Me: the quote at the beginning of this chapter if from a song called Camisado, it's actually where I got all the inspiration for this fic.**

**Axel: wow… fourteen chapters of a single song… that's pretty damn good.**

**Me: yeah… I'd like to see my English teacher get pissed about that!**

**Roxas: are you still having trouble with the three page essay on Othello?**

**Me: shut up! I have my abilities… and my limitations. -_-'**

**Gaara: Thank you for reading, we'd all love to hear what you have to say, so please Review and make us all smile!- are these really my lines? *groans***


	16. Chapter 15

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Fifteen**

'_**I'm a Nightmare, a disaster, that's what they always said! I'm a lost cause, Not a Hero'**_**- Simple Plan**

I guess that my plan wasn't quite as thought out as I was hoping it'd be. Turns out curling up in the back of my car with two large dogs wasn't the best idea and I've got a kink in my neck that's throbbing to the point that I've got a headache now. But thanks to the fact that my car can go close to two hundred MPH I'm getting pretty close to Florida already.

"Oh man… if I'm this close already there is no way it's going to take me a year." but at the same time I've been driving for a week- so it's not that far in retrospect. I'm just getting to the city border now and I can already see that this place is still the place to go for bikini beaches and good times. Teenagers and cougars are flocking the streets in swarms and it takes me a moment to remember that it's Spring break… something that means great parties in Florida and even better drinking parties at night. The whole State of Florida becomes one huge party at night and Miami is the epicenter.

I have to decrease my speed to a crawl here and I reach up to my right ear, working the black clip on the center two piercing off so I'm not labeled as Xemnas' before grabbing the small upside down heart that attaches to a cross plate I picked up somewhere in Seattle. It just clips easily into place on the two rings that actually go through my ear and I let out a sigh as I roll my window down and toss the stupid label into the crowd of people dancing and having a grand old time.

A woman stops my car by not moving out of my way and my eyes go wide as she crawls onto the hood, she's clad in nothing but a bikini and she looks stupid humping the front of my car like she'll get a prize for it.

With a smirk I raise my right hand to the center of my wheel and I cant wait for the reaction of the crowd around me when I push down just a little harder. About two years ago when I first got the car I got a very nice horn put into it: an old eighteen wheeler horn that made my entire car vibrate with it's percussive sound. She mouths something to me and I take this opportunity to scare the shit out of her so I press down on the center of the wheel and an extremely loud honk comes out of my car, startling all the drunk or high people around me and it makes the girl on my hood shriek and climb off.

When I hit the gas again I do it just a little too harsh so the car jerks forward and the people start parting like the red sea- I wonder where that saying came from, I've never heard of a red sea with all that Vexen has taught me… but I've heard it said enough in the Boggle and in Death House to know that it means something about getting out of the way by separating.

Lumier and Cerberus both poke their heads out from the back and this time it's Lumier who climbs forward onto the passenger seat- though he's much to big for it. He sits himself down and lays across the consol in the middle so his front paws are in my lap and he lowers his head so my elbow is just above his forehead.

"You wanna got for a walk boy?" both dogs perk their heads and I guess they do need a pee break, I need a freaking pee break… and I haven't actually gone running with them in forever. "Would you let me get some jogging clothes first?" Lumier nods his head and I really don't know if he's actually answering my question or if he just understands that I like seeing him and Cerberus nod.

I pull into the closest parking spot and roll all the windows down as far as they'll go as I see a clothing kiosk and open my door. "Lumier, Cerberus, guard." they both sit down and I stuff my hands into the slack pockets, hating how they feel on my skin after a week of wearing them straight. I ditched the jacket a while ago and the shirt it buttoned down to my belly button, showing off enough skin for me to be able to flirt and get what I want but not completely open so it says 'come here and fuck me' I've had too many of those kinds of outfits

I slink into the small strip mall building and right up to the men's clothing section. I can see the girl behind the counter staring at me and I don't blame her, my hair is pretty loud, even for this place. I can feel the fabric types and none of it is stuff that'll actually hold together for a long period of time and I'll need these clothes to last as long as I can make them.

"Excuse me… but can I help you?"

"Not really… these aren't the kinds of clothes I'm looking for." I let the flimsy pair of shorts fall from my grasp and shrug my shoulders, not paying any attention to the girl as she swells her chest slightly.

Of course I take a bit of interest at that; she wants me to after all. I look down and notice right away that the pendant around her neck is much like the two Chakrams I wear around my neck. I want to rip it off her neck and demand where she got it, but stay silent for a moment and just look.

"Nice necklace… where'd you get it?" a blush covers her cheeks and her fairly large brown eyes bat a few times as she tucks a strand of black hair behind her ear.

"I uh… got it from a lady I met… she's from Ireland. Things like this have been in the family for forever she said." she gives a smile and I can only raise an eyebrow. I don't know what to think of that really. In Seattle a woman with my picture was looking for me, this girl has a Chakram around her neck. I want to rip it off and demand to know who the old woman is, but I refuse to raise my hand for a moment, just looking at the pendant and into the girls brown eyes, who is she and who is this mysterious lady.

"Would you mind if I looked at it closer? It looks very interesting." the girl glares at me for a moment and I give her a smile- I'm surprised that she hasn't seen my necklace yet but I digress -and pull out my money pouch with at least a hundred gold coins in it- she cant see them though. "I'll trade you, when I give you the pendant back, you give me my money back. Deal?"

"I don't know… she said it's a family heirloom." I shrug and set the pouch down in her open palm.

"Well… I'm not leaving without my money, so you'll get your necklace back. I'm just genuinely curious, I swear." she lets out a sigh and pulls the necklace over her head and sets the pendant down in my open palm.

I instantly snatch it up and hold it closer to my face, inspecting the fine details that my Chakrams have. The only difference I can see is that these Chakrams don't seem to have a- thought too soon. Right underneath the spikes on the back is an engraving 'Come, Flurry of Dancing Flames.' my eyes go wide and I quickly drop it back down into the girls hand and snatch up my pouch from her hand.

I don't care what kind of bullshit this is. Whoever the hell gave that to this chick must be messing with my head. "Whoa… are you alright? Or is something wrong?"

"No… who gave that to you? What'd she look like?"

"Well… she had extremely red hair like yours, and the biggest blue eyes. She was really sweet and kind though."

"Did she say where she was going? When did she give you that."

"A month or two ago… and she said something about going to Vancouver. She was looking for something."

"Did she say what it was exactly?"

"Yes… she said she's looking for a Flurry of Dancing Flames… whatever that means."

Great, so not only am I running from Saïx and copious amounts of people trying to stop me. My running just got harder, the only thing that might be in my saving grace is that it's very possible that this girl who's looking for me is way behind since I last heard of her in Seattle and now know that she's headed for Vancouver- a location I've left behind me for good.

"I should get going… have to find some clothes before it gets too cold tonight." I give the girl a bit of a smile and turn to leave but she stops me.

"You're not running from something, are you?"

"It doesn't matter if I am. What I do is none of your concern."

"Well then here." she lets my hand go and I turn around to see her taking the necklace off and setting it down in my palm. "She said it's good for protecting… and it sounds like you need it. Have fun with whatever it is your running from."

I open my mouth to retort but the sound of loud barking catches my attention and a high pitched scream makes me cock my head in the direction of the door and my car.

I don't bother to drop the pendant and just dash out of the store, quick enough to see a man with his arm half in my car, Lumier and Cerberus both biting the limb and he's screaming his fool head off.

"Oi! Drop 'im!" both dogs instantly let the arm go and I stalk over, picking the bleeding man up and pushing him against the side of the car as a group of people begins to gather. "What're you doin' wit my car?"

"Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow! L-let me go! Y-your fucking dogs bit me! I'm going to sue you!"

"Wit what court? Now what're ya doin' wit my car?"

"Hey, let him go… he did nothing-"

"My dogs wouldn't have bitten 'im if he didn't do some'tin'! Stay out of this bitch!" I turn my head to the side and glare at the girl, she gasps and I'm supposing it's her boyfriend who's stepping forward.

"Don't you dare call her something like that! All he was doing was trying to pet them you asshole."

"Fine then.. Have him!" I push the guy I'm still holding away from me into the couple and the boyfriend easily catches him. "Do with him as you will, burn him, drown him, bash him in the head. I don't really care."

I'm not too sure where the attitude shift has come from, but I feel like I do every time I've killed someone: like I'm burning up and slowing down, the world around me is getting slightly fuzzy and I'm ready to fight anyone for any stupid reason. The boyfriend growls a bit but I just wretch my door open and slip into the drivers seat, lurching forward as I jammed the keys into the ignition and stomped my foot down.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Oh god… six months so far and I'm already so far.

Once I got into Mexico I met up with the Mexican drug cartel, a corporation (I suppose that's the best word for it) run by a family. Mr. Scrooge McDuck, his nephew Donald Duck (he took the Mc out- I have no idea why) and his three nephews; Hewey, Dewey, and Louie. They were pretty awesome, they brought me through Mexico with me working protection detail for them on the way. Beign hired as dumb-shit muscle was nice and easy though.

I was in charge of the triplets, something that was not an easy task. I had to follow them whenever they went out and I had to keep them out of trouble- that was the impossible part. On more then one occasion I was right there beside them making the trouble. Scrooge was a pretty good guy though, he never got _too_ pissed at me for getting into shit with the three fifteen year olds, and to be frank I was even coming up with most of the ideas.

Unfortunately, my time in Mexico was cut abruptly one night when the triplets burst into my room and pulled me into the meeting room. I was wearing nothing but my boxers and the gun vest that scrooge had given me- complete with two fully loaded semi-automatic guns made of onyx.

"The Hell?" Louie and Dewey dropped me into a chair and I had to refrain from grabbing the guns under my arms because I would certainly have shot something I shouldn't have.

"Axel… Saïx has come to Mexico. Are you aware of that?"

"No." I raised my hand and tried to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"Well because of it I'm shipping you across the Canal, you've done enough to ensure my nephews are safe enough and you don't know too much- be thankful for that. After the Canal though, you're completely on your own." I didn't actually know what was happening as the world just faded black.

Half a week after that I woke up in the middle of the jungle with Lumier and Cerberus, a pile of dead animals beside me and their rotting stench making me gag since there had been nothing to vomit up.

Both Lumier and Cerberus were sitting in front of me, small bottles attached to their collars and the only bag of possessions I had was down beside Cerberus on the ground- at least I got to keep my stuff.

I sat up straight and rubbed the back of my head, trying as hard as I could to not freak out with the fact that I was dazed, in the jungle, wearing nothing but my underwear and two guns, a pile of dead animals was off to my side, and finally the fact that it was nighttime and I could see a pair of bright yellow eyes behind them.

My eyes followed the trail that was a shadow coming up from the eyes and my own eyes went wide as I pulled my guns out and shot twice.

Both Lumier and Cerberus ran off in opposite directions as the large leopard fell off the hill opposite me and out of the bushes it was hiding in. The Leopard wasn't dead, but at that point it could have very easily have died- I wasn't going to do anything for it though.

"Lumier, Cerberus!" my voice was raw and my throat completely dry as I called for them and got no response. I let out a sigh and stood up, grabbing my bag off the ground and rolling my shoulders.

I must have waited there for a good hour, looking through what I had in the bag and finding three large hunting knives, two smaller pocket knives, two clips of extra bullets, a blanket, my personal effects and the few sets of clothes I had at the time.

With a sigh I packed up the bag again and started walking as soon as I figured out which way was South. I was given my pair of most broken in boots and five changes of socks… I was going to be traveling for a while, and looking for Lumier and Cerberus while I was at it. They didn't need me to get food by the looks of that pile they had, so it was very possible that I wouldn't be getting my only two companions back.

Before I got to the tip of South America Lumier and Cerberus found me again and it was a touching moment really, I'd figured they'd left me alone after the first month passed.

But when we got to the tip I bartered my way onto a helicopter and all three of us landed on a research vessel headed for the Falklands. The research was annoying and pointless in my eyes since it was on Orca Whales and they'd been extinct for fifty years, but I just went along with it, finding no sign of them as we sailed through the arctic ocean- I also got over my sea sickness on that part of my trip.

The only interesting thing that happened on that trip is I found out that other types of whales had gotten big enough to tip ocean liners like they were ice floats. We were in a fucking ice-breaker for god sakes!

I digress though, I hopped the first helicopter off the ship with Lumier and Cerberus, landed in Africa and started my dessert trek to Cairo- not a smart idea and I don't recommend it in any circumstance.

I rode on camels- smelly beasts -I walked and I swam. There was one night when I had to run for my life and hide in a tree from a couple lioness' who'd decided I'd make a good meal. And in all honesty I would have if it wasn't for Lumier and Cerberus who managed to scare the two lioness' until they ran away. Another mode of transportation was surprisingly bike and car- pulled by Arabian horses. Every freaking mode of land transportation you can think of I did it.

Arriving in Cairo had been a blessing in disguise- even though my joy at seeing the pyramids was crushed when I saw nothing but three large mountains of rubble. People hadn't even tried to save their ancient kings hidden deep under the earths surface, they'd just been left and all the secrets those tombs were supposed to hold went down with them.

Being in Cairo was annoying though, there was nothing to do but work for a month straight, getting up enough money to be here in St. Petersburg, I've learned little Russian and I need to learn more. The only plus sides to what I've done is that I can now speak dialects of Spanish and a bit of African (the kind spoken in Cairo).

I let out a sigh and look down at Lumier and Cerberus, they don't seem to like the fact that we haven't been moving for a few days… they like exercise and they are getting most of it when we're on the move. I swing my leg back over my bike and sit myself down.

"So… who wants to go back?" I've refrained form using the 'home' word as much as I can with them, just because I don't want them to think of anywhere as a permanent place to stay until I get to Ireland… it's just too bad my next stop wont be Ireland since the Russian Mafia have got their eye on me now and I'm in the process of becoming their dumb-shit muscle now that Saïx has followed me here.

I'll admit I'm not trying to loose him yet though, I'm surprised that he followed me through the jungle for god sakes, the man deserves a bit of tail to chase. I'll take him a little further around the world before loosing him completely.

"Common boys. Lets go." I push off from the ground and start on my trip back to the house where I'm staying with fifteen other men who are acting as dumb muscle for the mafia.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I get into the house and let out a sigh as Lumier and Cerberus walk inside and towards the kitchen where dinner must have been delivered since the loud Russians are all yelling.

There are only a few English speaking men and women who talk to me and seem to think my sometimes Irish sometimes Canadian accent is interesting. "Axel! What're you doing over here?" the sound of Cid yelling catches my attention and I flinch. Cid is the resident 'leader' as I've been told, but for me to even be in the same house as the leader I would have had to live here for years and devoted my life to these guys. But they know I just want to be a bit of muscle with a gun for a while until I accumulate enough cash to get the hell outta dodge.

"What do you want Cid?" I stuff my hands into my pockets and stride into the living room, knowing full well that there isn't food for me because I haven't ordered anything yet tonight.

"I want to know where the hell you've been? Not sending out another one of those odd-ball checks are you?" I raise an eyebrow and sit down on the couch beside Cloud and Leon, stopping the two assholes from arguing in every language they know- again.

"Yeah right… I was just out for a bike ride. Lumier and Cerberus needed their exercise." I point to the two panting dogs on the floor of the living room by the fire. Russian winters really are bad, not as bad as Canadian winters in my opinion… but damn hard. My bike rides are cold and frozen now, if we stop between St. Petersburg Square and the palace that I'm in now for more then ten minutes it's likely that we'll freeze.

"Please… stop giving us bullshit and answer the question." I let out a sigh and glare over at Siefer, Rai, Fuu, Setzer, and Vivi. Their jobs are lower then mine, they do nothing but give drugs to whoever the leader says give them to and they take money, petty crime… the leader basically took pity on them.

But the leader actually gave me a job that's worth something, I protect Arieth when she goes out and if she ever needs it- mainly when she goes to the store for something. She's the resident medic-in-every-way so she's pretty important.

"I'd rather not. I don't have to tell you anything." it's true, I was sending money to my old address every time I got money I'd send a percentage of it off and I just couldn't help it. I guess if they can think that if their there and if they know I'm still alive then they'll be there when I get there.

"Common, tell us squirt." Leon hops over so he's practically laying across my lap and I notice the heavy blush on his cheeks- indicating he's had too much to drink already.

"Fuck off Leon."

"Common Axel… just tell us where you were." he whines a bit and I just roll my eyes as I push him off my lap and get up.

I stalk into the kitchen and grab a beer for myself, one thing that I've learned about the Russians in the palace here is that it's impossible to be around them without having at least a bit of alcohol.

The fridge is out of beer and I glare at the vodka or rum choice. "Fuck me." I grind my teeth together as I reach for the rum and walk back into the living room, around all the yelling and laughing Russians.

"I heard that offer Axel. And I'd gladly fuck you." my eyes go wide as Sepheroth walks up behind me and he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me back towards him and reaching down for my belt buckle.

"Oi! Fuck off you bitch-shit!" I jab my elbow back into his gut but he catches it and spins me so I'm pushed against the wall.

"Oh, don't me so mean Flurry of Dancing Flames… it might be nice to see some hot dancing with the weather so cold outside." he puts his face close to mine but I just raise the closed rum bottle.

"If you don't fuck off right now, I'm going to smash you in the head with this. I don't care how many people you've killed, because it's not scaring me." he just smirks and moves away, removing his hands from my body again. Every time he calls me that it pisses me off- mainly because he took the time to search into my past. But there are no records of Ireland for him to find- I hope.

"You're so touchy… kind of makes me wonder if your that sensitive underneath all those layers." I don't really know what he's talking about, because even in this weather all I'm wearing is a pair of wool socks, boots, jeans, boxers, a tank top, and a business shirt with a hoodie thrown over top.

"Too bad you'll never know." I sneer at him and go back over to sit beside Leon and Cloud.

Leon has fairly long brown hair, always wearing black and white clothes like it's his thing. Cloud on the other hand is the only person I feel like I know, bright blue eyes, bright blonde hair sweeping up on his right side, god… he's just like an older Roxas and it's hard actually.

"Is that some kind of offer Axel? Because I'd take you up on that."

"Listen to me and read my lips Sepheroth, because I haven't told you this yet- though I'm sure that pretty little eidetic memory of yours will retain the information: if there is anyone in this house who I'd let screw me, would be Cloud for nothing but the fact he looks the way I like my men to look. Understand." I see Clouds eyes go wide from the corner of my eye and Leon bursts into laughter as he starts to roll around on the couch between Cloud and I.

"Well… Cloud would be a lucky man in that case."

"Fuck you Sepheroth. I'd rather die then revert." only Cid, Sepheroth and the leader know of my past now and I want to keep it that way, otherwise I'll have to kill again to prove it to them that I'm not a whore they can- literally -fuck with.

"I'd rather not fuck myself… cant really bend that way. But you, oh… I could still fuck-"

"Nine people."

"What?"

"You've looked into my past Sepheroth… how many people have I killed for that same pathetic reason? How many from British Columbia have died because I am the Flurry of Dancing Flames? Should I tell you how I did it all, would that make you think twice about provoking me? Or would it just turn you on?"

"Oh, most certainly Axel." the way he says my name makes me want to shiver and kill him, but the leader likes him for some reason and thinks he's a credible assassin, so there isn't much to say.

"Axel… relax! You take him too fucking seriously!" Yuffie prances into the living room and drops herself across myself and Leon with a bright smile on her face. "You're so docile Axel… you can shoot him if you want, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." no one else can even threaten Sepheroth without him freaking out and threatening to kill them first.

"No thanks Yuffie… I'd rather just remind him that I'm not running from puppies- though I'd love for him or Cloud to take care of my problem. But I'll do it as soon as I'm done stringing him along." I give her a bit of a smile and run my fingers through her hair. She reminds me a lot of Xion, but she's a little stronger… she's freer too- just how I imagine Xion would be if she'd gotten out first.

"Now, now, now Axel. Playing with your food isn't good! didn't your mother ever teach you manners?" Yuffie- and the rest of the palace -know I'm openly gay (it's one of the reasons Sepheroth likes bugging me about screwing) so having her turn over on my lap and look up at me while kicking her feet up in a still drunk Leon's face means nothing to me where it might for other guys.

"Didn't your mother ever teach you that Yuffie?"

"Touché. Anyhow, I need you to start getting packed. The boss said that blue haired guy that's been following you has just landed in Moscow, should be here by morning, so to keep to his promise to you he's going to ship you out tonight."

"Where to?"

"England. He figures it's a-"

"No, not an option, I'll head out of my own. I'm not going any further west in Europe then I am right now."

Yuffie just gives me a smile and pulls herself into a kneeling position so she's balanced sideways across my legs. "We can talk about it once we're in the car and I'll call the boss alright? I'm sure he'll understand."

"Isn't Cid the boss?"

"Please, I know _you're_ not that stupid… it's the lower people who are dumb enough to believe that shit." I just give her a smirk and shrug.

"Fine… I guess a car ride is better then a long walk." everyone just scoffs and I get up with a sigh to go pack my things from the room I've been given.

**AN:**

**Me: thank you all for reading this chapter, but just so you know this chapter and the next one are filler chapters and are extremely unimportant at the moment. Nothing too interesting is going to happen to Axel throughout his travels and it's really just him meeting different people from the game.**

**Axel: your telling people to not read?**

**Me: no, I'm not telling people to not read, I'm telling them that it's uninteresting.**

**Roxas: am I going to be in it soon? I mean yeah, I love the fact that it's all about Axel, I love him and everything. But I want to be in this fic!**

**Me: that's it! I'm killing you Roxas! And I'll give Axel… some whiny bitch-shit! I'll do it! I'll fucking do it Roxas!**

**Axel: but… I want my Roxie.**

**Me: too bad… this is the end of our discussion.**

**Gaara: thank you for reading and we hope to hear your comments or reviews. Even constructive criticism is welcomed. Have a good one.**


	17. Chapter 16

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Sixteen**

'_**If it will feed nothing else, it will feed my revenge.'- **_**William Shakespeare**

I let out a sigh as I follow Yuffie out of the palace and into a horse drawn carriage, she loves old fashioned things and horses are one of them. Personally I can do without the smelly mammals but my opinion doesn't matter when she's around. I'm not a simpleton and I'm not just plane old stupid, the only option for the mafia is for Yuffie to be the master puppeteer. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not about to go yelling that to everyone- simply because that'd make me a walking target for ever gang and mafia in the word( some to get the information from me, others to get me for knowing it- if you get my drift).

"So Axel… how have you liked it here in Russia?" I shrug my shoulders, simply because it's nice, but it's fucking cold and I hate it.

"It's alright, but it's too damn cold and I'd rather be somewhere warmer and less… now covered. But it's been nice."

"Good, because I've got a present for you!" she gives a big smile and grabs my arm. She's wearing a fairly large fur coat over her scandalous outfit of short shorts and a top that shows off her entire midriff and her headband so she looks more like the ninja she loves being.

"I'm scared by that statement Yuffie. Is there something I should start running away from now- or will I be allowed to start running later?" she just giggles and shakes her head a few times.

"Never! I have an offer for you that is much more like a present!"

"And what would have offer be Yuffie?"

"I'm going to offer you a tattoo before you go, something to remember us here in Russia by. You've mentioned little of your travels, but I know how far you've come. And I know where you've been. I think it'd be good to get a tattoo or two so you'll remember where you've been and how far you've come."

"Too bad I don't want to remember. There is nothing interesting that has happened in my life that I want to remember and have tattooed on my body at the same time."

"I don't even know what country you came from. As far as I know you were born in Nova Scotia and moved to Vancouver when your parents died."

"If that's what you've found that must be all there is."

"Did you suffer from amnesia?" I just shrug and stuff my hands into my pockets as we're sitting and let out a bit of a sigh.

"Who knows… all I know is that I don't remember anything that I don't want to remember."

"Alright, well, you can get a tattoo of whatever you want- anything in the world! But… will you Axel? Because I really want you to remember us."

"Why?"

"Because, it's impossible to not remember you. Got it memorized?" I can only scoff as she uses my own line against me, I've said it since I was a kid. But it actually makes people remember, and if people remember I become immortal in their thoughts. Even if I die, they'll remember me and I'll live on.

"Will it be affiliated to the Russian mafia?"

"Of course not! I wouldn't do something like that to you, you can choose what you want Axel!"

"Alright… I haven't really thought of other tattoo's in a while, but I think I've got a line."

"Is it 'Got it Memorized'? or something of the sort?"

"Nah… you can see it when it's done." Yuffie just giggles and I cant help but smile in return as she leans forward and tells the driver to go somewhere in Russian.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The tattoo was easy to do in English- thank god for the fact that the artist could speak English. The phrase 'I'm a Lost Cause, Not a Hero' scrawled across the inside of my forearm in Gothic Styled script writing. I cant help but look down at it now, I've been on this god forsaken train for three days already- don't get me wrong, yuffie took care of me and I'm in first class -but 'the clickadee-clack of steel wheels on polished rails' is getting fucking annoying as hell.

"Excuse me… may I please sit here?" I look up and see a girl with a bright smile standing beside the double chair across from me on the other side of the table. Most days when I come out to look out the window people steer clear of me and don't ask to sit beside me, but every other booth is full so I suppose it cant be helped.

"Of course, go right ahead." she had long mahogany hair that goes down passed her waist, large purple eyes that are quite alluring and an hourglass figure that most guys would kill to get a piece of that.

"Thank you so much. I've just been… so tired lately. It's it annoying that these stupid trains haven't gotten quicker or quieter?"

"They have, we're just not on a bullet rain."

"Really… well, that ticket master owes me another fifty bucks then because I paid for a bullet train."

"Are you really thick enough to not know the physical differences between a steam train and a bullet train."

"Well… it's not like it's an easy."

"It's be like getting the two of us mixed up in a lineup. Impossible if you've got two working halves of a brain."

She glares for a moment before waving to the side and leaning forward so her breasts are pushing out against the top of the table between us. "Well, I digress. The names Megera, friends call me Meg- well at least they would if I had any friends."

"Axel, just Axel. Nice to meet you Megera." I hold my hand out but before she can take it another hand grabs mine and I cant help but to look up at the man who's got a huge smile on his face.

"Nice to meet you Axel! My names Ping! And this is my sister Mulan! We're friends of Meg here."

"I don't have friends Ping, how many times do I have to-"

"Anyhow, it's nice to meet you- scoot over Meg -it's totally nice seeing you. So uh… what were you and Meg here talking about?" he pushes Meg over so she's up against the window and sits down before his sister- I'm guessing she's his twin -sits down beside her with a smile and slight nod to me.

"We weren't talking about anything really."

"Yeah, we were just getting to know each other." Meg looks angered as she cuts in and Ping looks scandalized.

"Meg! What would Herc say if he heard you say that?"

"Hey, I've never devoted myself to him. I can do whatever I want whenever I want! Just because your sister is screwing that general guy and only him doesn't mean I have to be stuck to one stupid trick pony!" my eyes go wide and I'm debating on leaving, I could go see Lumier and Cerberus again in their kennels.

"Hey! don't you dare talk about me sister like that! She's way better then you'll ever be. At least she's not a-"

"Be careful with your next work Ping, or else I'll make sure that you never have kids."

I make a move to leave them to their bickering but the sound of barking starts up in the car beside ours and I let out a sigh, I know those barks: Lumier and Cerberus have gotten out of their kennels.

"What's that?" Mulan speaks for the first time as she stand up and before I know it Lumier and Cerberus have burst into the railcar, Mulan has pulled out a gun and it pointing at them.

I slide out of my seat and pull my two guns as Ping stands up and pulls his own gun out. I aim at each of them as everyone else in the railroad car ducks down and Lumier and Cerberus come up behind me, growling as Mulan keeps her gun pointed to Lumier since he looks more demonic then Cerberus- though they can both look fucking freaky when they try.

"Well… this is great Meg… pick the one other guy on the train that's packing heat. Too bad he wont be able to shoot as well as-" I cut Ping off by shooting at the bun of hair on the top of his head. My bullet goes right through his bun and I aim back for between his eyes.

"I hope you weren't about to say 'as us' because I assure you, I've had practice. Now you can either lower your guns, because their just dogs. Or we can have a nice old-fashioned gunfight where I kill you both." I give them a smile and lower my weapons as they do the same.

"And Ping, it's not like I looked for the gun vest. Though I have to admit, I'm more interested in him now… guys with guns are sexy."

"Sorry… I'm batting for your team love. Guys are the sexy ones- though I'll agree that your figure is nice. Just not my cup of tea." Meg looks a little upset but just shrugs and leans back in her seat. "So, Ping, Mulan… is there something we really need to talk about? Or can we just act like the last five minutes didn't happen?" I slide back into my seat and pat the bench beside me, smirking when Lumier and Cerberus hop up.

I don't bother putting the guns away as Ping and Mulan sit back down, their own weapons set down on the table and Megera examining her nails like it's the biggest thing in the world. "So… Who's your friend Meg? Anyone we need to worry about."

"I doubted it, and I still do. Listen Ping, I didn't ask you to look out for me and I don't need it. Get lost and take the silent mime with you." Meg turns to the twins and I cant help but stare as they start up another quarrelling-fest. Lumier and Cerberus turn to me and I let out a bit of a sigh, reaching over and rubbing one behind their right ear before doing the same to the other.

"If the three of you don't mind, I'd like to get back to my really boring train ride again. It was rather pleasant before you showed up." the truth is I'd rather have them around and have them be this lively because it's been so slow and quiet- though I'm sure that the conductor will be by any minute to tell me I cant have my dogs with me and not in their kennels, but the best he's getting is their leashes.

"Well excuse us! We just want to get to the bottom of this. Do you have any idea what Herc will do to me if he finds out she tried to sleep with another guy? He's very territorial you know, loves the hell outta her."

"That's all fine and good but there is no problem with her talking with me. There is no possible way that she would have ended up in a bed with me any time real soon."

"And why's that?" the glare Ping is sending my way is priceless and I cant help but smirk as I put my guns away and leaned forward so they could see me fiddling with the earrings in my right ear.

"Because, as I've told you're friend: I bat for the same team." the look on his face is of pure confusion so I let out a sigh and sit back with a smirk as I cross my arms over my chest "I'm gay? Got it memorized?" his eyes go wide and luckily it seems to have shut him up. "Now that I've got your attention I might as well keep going. I don't mind if you stay here and sit at this booth, but I'd appreciate silence or a quiet conversation that's more pleasant then not. If you cant meet those expectations I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd get lost."

"Well Tweedles, you've heard him, hit the road."

"Why are you still interested? He's gay, he's not going to sleep with you."

"Exactly why I want to be here." I just roll my eyes and turn so I'm looking back out the window of the train again, tuning their now quiet conversation out as much as I can… but I cant help but hear as they mention bringing me back to speak with someone who'd apparently be interested in my tenacity. That isn't something to be scared it, if it?

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As it were tenacity isn't a bad thing to have in Japan, not bad at all… unless if you don't have an option with fifteen people holds guns pointed to your head as you step off the train and they yell at you in a language that you've only seen on TV and freaks you the fuck out. Oh? That's never happened to you? Well Woop-Dee-Fucking-Doo for you, because it's happened to me! I just wanted to lay low and get lost in the crowds here in Japan, but no, I'm stuck trying to talk my way out of the FUCKING Japanese Yakuza! Not a fun fucking thing to do!

"My uncle wants to know what you're plans were."

"I've told you a million fucking times! I wanted to lay low and get lost in the crowds. There is a guy following me and I want him off my trail. Are we done now?"

"Not just yet sir." the man I'm speaking with looks angered- all the time. I'm guessing he is that general guy that Ping mentioned back on the train that is sleeping with his sister or something- or was it Meg who mentioned that.

"Why the hell not? I've got places to go and people to see you jackass! I cant waist half my life here!"

"You'll waist as much time as the Emperor wants you to waist!" he slams his hands down on the table top and I cant help but groan in agony of this stupidly slow torture.

"He's not the Emperor! There hasn't been a Japanese Emperor in at least a thousand years! I'm not even fucking Japanese so why the hell should I care?" it's been like this for three days now and I'm getting impatient, I've already told them that I'm not a threat and they think just because I had (in the words of Ping himself): enough fucking balls to aim at him and Mulan) that I was a threat. Like I knew they were the fucking royal Yakuza fucking siblings! God I'm swearing a lot now inside my head… do I always swear this fucking much?- dammit! Even when I'm trying not to!

"Yes he is the Emperor how dare a lowly commoner like you say otherwise!" god, this guy is fucking nuts! I don't believe the shit coming out of his mouth. "I will teach you that this man is the Emperor if it means I have to carve it into that picture perfect face of your-" he's cut off by his phone ringing a few times and he calmly reaches into his pocket and pulls his phone out, flipping it open in the process and answering as calmly as any business man would. "Hello? You've reached General Shang."

Oh god… I've been put into the care of a psychopathic space-case! Maybe I shouldn't have left Russia so soon. If I'd gotten on another train a little later I wouldn't have run into this fucking problem. God, fuck, shit, bullshit! Get me outta here!

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Two weeks later, little to no sleep, a crust of bread that probably wasn't really big enough for a mouse and the cold concrete ground. I was woken one night and hauled into a sitting position. A gun was used to shoot the chains away from my wrists and ankles, and I was slung over the shoulder of a running person. I'm not too sure what really happened or how it was happening. But I'm awake now, on a plane to Australia with Yuffie across from me, Cloud beside me- the one who'd gotten me out of my dungeon -and Leon who's still pacing back and forth.

"I'm really sorry about this again Axel… it's all because I dropped you off at the train station and I'm a known affiliate of the-"

"Don't apologize, you shouldn't have to Yuffie. He should be fucking smart enough! Not to talk to strangers." Leon scuffs the back of my head and I swear if I had enough strength right now I'd kick his ass into next fucking year.

"I'm sorry Leon… do you think I asked for fifteen guns to be pointed at my head as soon as my feet touched the ground? No, I didn't. So fuck off." he really had no right, I'm a grown person, an adult… I can do anything I want and he can go fuck himself for it! I didn't ask for any of this shit, but it appears now that I'm 'part of them' even if I don't want to be.

"Axel, I like you, so here's what's going to happen. You'll be 'a member' to any extent that you want. If you want us to shove off we will, but if you ever need help we'll be there."

"No thanks Yuffie… I don't like the idea of someone owning me again. I'd rather kill people then be another possession." I can see both Cloud and Leon tensing but as Arieth walks up to us and sits down next to Yuffie with that spacey smile on her face I cant help but let out a sigh and look away.

"You have every right to not want that, and I don't want that. Why the hell does the world think I'm such a hard-ass? Anyhow, Axel. I just want what's best for my friends and that's all I've ever wanted, and you're included. It's impossible for me to forget you 'got it memorized?'" it's funny how she's using my line against me, I guess ironic is the only word I can think of for it.

"Yuffie, my life would be a whole lot easier… if you could teach me how to be a ghost." it's been a year already and I'm no where near my goal of locations or getting rid of Saïx. But maybe if I can learn to erase myself properly… well, maybe I'll get something out of life and give Roxas a better chance.

God! I don't even know if he's still fucking alive, or if he's still with Sora, Riku and Luxord! I'm stringing myself along for heartbreak, but becoming a ghost will help with that, wont it? I'll be able to forget my emotions, loose them completely if I choose. That's what I need, I need to forget without forgetting.

"Axel, I wont help you do that. You, you're a special person and I cant let you do that to yourself. I know how it feels, to be ripped away from those who you love and having to fight so hard to get them back… we all know that feeling."

"How? How could you possibly know how I feel? It's impossible for any of you to understand exactly what I've been through."

"Well you haven't exactly opened up Axel, but if you really want, I'll tell you what happened to the six of us."

"Six?"

"Yeah; Cid, Cloud, Leon, Arieth, Auron and myself. We were a lot like you. Auron was my dad, a really good guy, got into a bit of trouble with a few people, mainly a guy named Hades- I'll get back to him in a minute. And even Sephiroth fits into our story in many places. Auron took care of Leon, Cloud and Arieth, so we were all pretty close. Cid was his best friend at the time and I was only around five while everyone else was about ten years old.

"My dad just didn't come home one night and after a week of Cid floundering to keep up with watching kids- something he wasn't used to doing -he had to tell the authorities- well, children's services. They came one day out of nowhere and took Cloud, Leon and Arieth away, leaving me with Cid. Cloud ended up finding a broken home with Sephiroth, Leon was under the care of some guy originally from Africa, a place called Argibba, his name was Jafar. And Arieth- she probably got the worst of us all, having to be taken care of by a guy by the name of Shan-Yu. He was a total jackass and put her into much the same situation as you were in.

"I'll get to my point quickly Axel, we've been reunited very recently. And do you want to know why? You, got rid of our problems. It's why I'm not just throwing you out onto the street corner saying 'good fucking luck, I wish you the best' because if you want to believe it or not, we owe you our lives back. If you hadn't had the fucking balls to kill them we wouldn't be together again."

"What does that have to do with all of this? They deserved to die and I didn't do it. There was no proof on how they died or any indication that it wasn't an accident."

"Axel… we'll do anything to keep you safe and to help you. We know why you're doing this and we support you. I-I guess what I'm trying to say is… we'll help you, in any way that we can. We want you to find him again and I wont help you turn your emotions off so you can forget."

"That's not fair, shouldn't it be my choice?"

"Not when it involves your heart. It's not smart to try and forget people like that."

"So… you're going to do all of this, because I 'killed some people'? that seems like a low blow." I used the air quotations and Yuffie just gives me a smile as she shrugs. I watch as she pulls the remote for the built in stereo and she presses a button so a piano song starts playing.

"Axel, you need rest, when you wake up I'll get Arieth to start getting you onto a regimen to bring your health back up."

"I don't get it. If Cloud and Sephiroth are such good assassins, why did I have to be the one to-"

"No one else is all that great with killing. Sephiroth taught Cloud all he knows, they hate each other but they work as a pretty good team… now go to sleep before I get Arieth to administer a sedative."

"You're the softest mafia boss I've ever met. But I guess I'm glad that we're alright." Yuffie just smiles and taps Arieth on the arm. I don't know how to feel about it as she stands up and pulls a needle out of god knows where. I feel the needle being pushed into my upper arm and before I know it the world's fading black once again and I doubt there's a dream waiting for me.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Axel, if you don't eat something soon, you'll go into a coma." Arieths voice is breaking the silence and I can feel something touching my forehead and running through my hair. I don't want anything touching my hair… it's a disgusting feeling that I haven't felt since my mother last did it, but when she did it, it wasn't disgusting. It's turned into a thing that only she should have ever done to me.

"Axel… please wake up." the hand in my hair is certainly comforting, but I don't want it. And I swat at the hand that's curling around my hair until whoever moves it. "Good your awake, sit up so I can give you some food alright?" I groan, I don't want to be awake, I don't want to see her and I don't think my stomach can hold food right now.

"Axel, get up will you? We're in Australia, we've got to get something done about you not eating." wait, why the hell Australia? Where's Lumier and Cerberus. I was so tired before I fell asleep that I never got around to asking that question- no wait, I asked… I just didn't get an answer.

"Where are my dogs?" god, my throat is so swore, and my voice as scratchy as ever. "Where-where are they?"

"They're fine. They're at the foot of the bed Axel. It's fine, but I need you to sit up and eat this soup." the smell is hitting me and I cant help but nod my head in agreement as larger stronger hands go under my back and help me into a sitting position, when I open my eyes I notice it's Cloud.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Three weeks and I'm on my own again, Arieth has cleared me for being on my own again and Yuffie has given me a cell phone that has unlimited everything, all their numbers are pre-programmed in and it'll call anywhere in the world if I want it to.

Lumier and Cerberus seem to like the weather- though Lumier is pissed because he's covered in dog-sunblock; something he needs or he'll burn, while Cerberus just has a bit on his nose- it's pink by the way. I tried to get another color, but all they had was pink, and he's hated that color ever since I got him.

I'm in Australia now, Melborn actually and I think it'll be swell. I've wanted to come here for a while and see a few kangaroos. Yuffie dropped me off with enough gold to either stay here for half a life time or catch a flight or ride anywhere else in the world ten times over, I didn't particularily want the gold since I want to get my own way to Roxas, but a bit of spare gold could always do me good in times that I need it. If I want to do something that I haven't done in a long time or if I've got something that I need to buy for Lumier or Cerberus. Anything really, the gold is completely versatile in every country.

Lumier and Cerberus are getting tired of this weather though, they like the sun; just not when it burns them. So I'll be leaving soon, I'll probably just catch a plane since I'm approaching the year mark anyhow. I said I'd be there in a year, I don't even know how many days I have left, I don't know what day I left on… but if Roxas is anything like he was before I left then he'll be counting the days until I'm with him again. I was counting, but to be honest when I was knocked out in Brazil I lost count. I've never really taken the time to pick up the date since then. I know it's horrible of me, and my heart should probably know how long we've been apart. But I've grown so used to the ache that it's all just a numbing sensation to me now that I'm trying not to die about.

An empty heart should be a feeling I'm used to I guess, but I'm just not yet. When my parents and Lilly died the hole was formed. When I met Roxas it filled in just a little bit, but when I left him, never expecting to see him again: it was ripped wide open for all the weathering Xemnas could throw at it. But when I saw him again almost a year ago in my room, I thought I had gone fucking bonkers, that I was round the bend with no hope of ever coming back. But the simple fact that he really was there and he was hooked on a drug. That ripped my heart clean out of my chest and squished it into the ground like the vile, soft, disgusting, betraying thing that it is. I have so many more verbs I can use to describe it… but they'd take up too long. Ever since then my heart has betrayed me and I cant be the emotional rock that I used to be.

I let out a sigh as I stuff my hands into my pockets. I don't have a vehicle right now, but I've got an apartment that we all fit into, so I cant really ask for too much more. I'm still thinking on if I should get a job or not, or if I should just hop a plane back to Europe. I kinda want to make sure that Saïx sees me though, he didn't get that chance in Russia, and with Sephiroth and Cloud on the look out for him I should be in the clear. Their going to kill him if they come across him, but they wont seek him out because I really want to be the one to kill him if I can help it.

Lumier and Cerberus have gotten used to the whole leash thing, but I still let them off more then I should, it's just not my fault that I do it, it's how I am. I cant handle being so strict with them.

"Hey boy! don't I know you?" I stop and turn my head over towards the harbor. There are two cruise liners, hundreds of thousands of small fishing and personal boats, and one single old fashioned pirate ship. I raise an eyebrow at the old man who's caught my attention, standing next to a kiosk. My vision flashes for a moment and the old Lepricon from so many years ago is there.

"What do you want London?" that reply just slipped out before I could really stop myself. I see a smirk cross his face and let out a bit of a sigh before I walk over, I have to admit now that I'm at least curious in part as of how he knows me or why I called him that.

The man gives him a smile and I cant help but feel like I know I've seen him before. I stop a few paces away from him and cross my arms in front of my chest with a bit of a scowl. "Alright Mr. Pirate-Man… why'd you call me over here?"

"I had a feelin' I've seen ye before… have ye ever been to Ireland?"

"Yes." I don't want to give more of an answer then that so until he says something else I'm sticking to that.

"Ye were lookin for a gift during the holidays… weren't ye?" I raised an eyebrow as I looked at this guy. I didn't know who the hell would remember that long ago, and if it weren't for that dream I had about a year ago I wouldn't remember him dressed as a dank lepricon from so long ago.

"So, London… what's going on with you? Haven't seen you in forever. Never thought I'd see you again to be frank. What brings you to Australia?"

"Nothing but the tide and the willing folk who like the service." the smile he gives makes me want to shiver a bit, but I hold it back and just roll my eyes as I look over the stuff he's got on his cart. Nothing special but stuff that I've seen men kill for less over for sure.

"Alright then. I guess I'll bee seeing you-" I stop myself abruptly as I get a really good idea. It's probably yet another stupid 'Axel your going to get yourself fucking killed' kind of idea… but it might save me a shit load of money. Correction, this is a stupid idea and I really should just screw it so I don't get myself killed, or strapped to a cannon at the bottom of the ocean or something. But I have a feeling Barbosa here will know where that Captain Jack guy is… and if I can find out where he is… I can bribe him to take me to Ireland.

"Hey Barbosa… I have a bit of a proposition for you."

"I wont be takin no Propositions. Sorry kid… just wanted to make sure the ol brain was still working well enough and that I really did-"

"Cut the crap. You called me over for a reason and whatever it is you want me to do you want it to make me feel like I owe you and have to do it. So how about we just skip the dance and cut a deal?" he gives me a wide smile and we just return it with a smirk as I pull myself up onto the cart and smirk at him as both Lumier and Cerberus sit down and get comfortable.

"Alright Kid… what do you want from me?"

"A ride to wherever I can find a captain named Jack."

"Well I'm sure I wouldn't know. The last time I saw him, I was sailing away in me ship… and he was on an island."

"Then take me to the island."

"I wouldn't do that if you gave me a million gold coins."

I give him a smile and rest my elbows on my knees with the biggest smirk I can manage. "I wouldn't pay that… but I'd be willing to consider paying by whatever you wanted me to do in the first place."

**AN:**

**Me: Alright. I'm extremely fucking pissed with this fic right now. I've been writing it for close to a month and a half… this is the sixteenth fucking chapter and as far as I know, no one has even taken a peek at it to see if it's bloody well worth it.**

**Axel: Elizabeth, calm down a bit… I'm sure it can be explained-**

**Me: Shut up Red, I'm ranting. The point is; this fic will be open for completion, but right now I'm posting it as complete. I will bare through my hate for this fic at the moment and complete it if JUST ONE person likes the fucking thing. So if you want to read a little more favorite it and I'll post the rest, but for right now, I'm posting it as complete.**

**Sorry**


	18. Chapter 17

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Seventeen**

'_**May the devil make a ladder your backbone- While he is picking apples in the garden of Hell.'**_**- Old Irish Toast.**

I don't even know if I'll actually see him again, I don't know if the one man who was supposed to keep my house under my name is still there or not, it if he even paid attention when Luxord and Riku showed up with my letter- I don't even know if they fucking made it!

My nerves have been on end for months and I cant possibly think of anything good coming out of this. In the back of my mind I know that my house is still unoccupied, that I'll have to let those from my past go completely. I don't even know why I've bothered, Xemnas did it, he succeeded in his plot… it's taken so long, but I've finally given up the hope of ever having close to a normal life.

My hands are shaking as I walk down my old street, the stupid 'Cheshire Cat' was no help- he just answered all my questions in riddles and it didn't fucking help! He still has the house under my name and he said that people came for it with a paper- but he didn't tell me if he let them in or not so I'm going in blind.

The house still looks the same from the outside and the lawn is certainly kept- but the city has been paying to keep both the lawn and house clean, so I don't know. There wont be anyway to really tell if they've been to the house or not. Mr. Cheshire-Cat- Person is the worst in the world for speaking riddles at me. If the house has been untouched I think I'll just start over here, let my crying heart finally finish snapping in half so I can collapse and give up for good. Not that I think about it, giving up doesn't even seem all that bad right now. I'm a lost cause and I always have been, my tattoo just points it out to the rest of the world.

'I'm a lost cause, Not a Hero' I couldn't have found a better song quote- the fact it's from a hundred or so years ago just proves that I'm not the only one that's ever felt like this I guess.

My feet falter as I get to the bottom of the driveway, there is no car, but there may not be one. I don't know what kind of jobs- if any -they've acquired. I look down at my left forearm where my tattoo is and sigh. I'm so fucking lost that it's bordering on pathetic right now, Roxas is gone, I should accept that… I just cant. Even if they made it away from Saïx he probably died during detox. Nightmare Delirium is too harsh a drug to give up.

My feet just wont move from this spot at the front of my drive. Both possibilities make me want to run away and die, but I cant- I just cant. I have to know what's going on in the world and I have to face the few fears I still have. Facing them is going to be a bitch, but it _has _to be _done_!

I take a deep breath and walk up the steps that border the steep driveway. The garage is still painted the same mahogany color it was thirteen years ago- wow… thirteen years, Roxas' favorite number.

I have seen every old great wonder of the world, yet none of it is as vivid now as this house. The pyramids of Giza have crumbled and my memory of them is gone. The Great wall of China has fallen to my minds eye of this house all those years ago. The Eiffel tower has bent and distorted in my memory and everything else I've seen on my travels no matter how huge or Great they were- they are all nothing compared to this house in front of me.

Cheshire gave me a key, it's small size is a huge weight in my hand- to the point that I don't want to use it. Shakily, I do raise my hand and put the key into the lock. My arm is shaking and I'm remembering that extremely tall building in Tokyo now- I almost puked because I thought it was swaying -and I feel the same way right now.

I push the front door open before stopping and slamming it shut again. I've written my fucking book, I should still be able to do this! But it's that last fucking line that's been ringing in my head since I stopped writing it!

'My story's still not done, but I want it to disappear.' critics love it, teens love it, adults and parents are scared of it and I wouldn't change a thing about it.

My book has become a best seller, right there alongside Luxords books that I've actually managed to read. He made me sound strong, like I had a reason for living, but it was my life through his eyes, from an objective point of view. He had no emotional attachment aside from seeing it all happen.

From the sounds of it, Luxord doesn't think I was broken but some thing I've noticed is that I was never un-broken. There is NOTHING I've done with my life that isn't worthless! _Even my book is pointless_! It'll never stop the fucking hell that is a Boggle!

I'm shaking I'm so fucking nervous! Ugh! Why cant I do this? I take another deep breath and let it out, I don't want to think of Luxords books about me and Sora now too. He's calling them 'The Boggle Boy Series' and I cant fucking stand it. My book was titled simply: 'Disappear' because I want to. No one knows it's my life story. They think that Axel O'Riley is a clever character name taken from another author that someone wanted their book to be written by and about.

But I'm here, I'm me, aren't I? I'm standing on the same balcony that my parents last spoke to me happily on- that day I went to get Lilly a present.

I should have gone to visit her before coming here, I should- I still can… there is nothing making me open this mahogany door again, but I'll probably cry if I go see her.

Before I have the chance to stop myself I reach forward and walk into the house, my eyes shut tightly and my heart pounding as I push my back against the door once I'm inside. I don't want to open my eyes, I'm scared of what I'll see.

The entrance way smells the same as it always did, trees, grass, a bit of dust… and sulfur. But mostly it smells like home and comfort. I just let my lungs fill with the sent for a minute longer before I even want to open my eyes to whatever truths this place will hold for me.

The courage that got me into the house is coming back and I want to walk around the house before the feeling leaves me, I just don't know if I can stomach it. The fact it still smells the same is hard on me. I'm even still smelling the coppery tang of blood in the air, I'm scared… just like the last time I was here.

I take a deep breath of the coppery, dusty, old smell of sulfur and campfire that has been a comforting scent to me since my first memory of camping with my parents and a few of the neighbors.

That makes me wonder… is this still 'Princess Lane'? the entire town called in that because of the seven girls that lived in the houses surrounding mine. They were nice girls- as nice as girls can get I suppose -they liked me enough and didn't ever get _too_ upset at me for giving them mud-pies when I had spare ones.

My breath has started to calm down as I just think of my old friends faces and names to keep it up. Jasmine- the exotic, dark skinned temptress (even at her age) Aurora- golden hair like sunshine and the reddest natural lips (I couldn't help but notice). Alice- the youngest and most curious girl, she'd get into any kind of trouble she could. Cinderella- I remember her being really graceful and proud (though very shy whenever I brought friends around). Bell was the strong silent type, she really liked one of my friends that had less then cordial outlook on people and things. And Snow- she loved nature, she'd often follow me around in the forest when I went out for training and would always hate it when I told her I wanted to hunt.

The last 'princess' was a small girl, she was overly sweet and it was usually to the point where one could get a toothache from it. Her name: Kairi, her occupation; being as sweet as she could to everyone, she was the second youngest and I'm sure that by now they all look totally different- they probably even act weird or stuck up now.

I take another deep breath and open my eyes, there are no shoes on the matt, but it still looks really clean and impossible to not imagine my families shoes, sitting there on the ground like there is no time anymore.

My feet start to carry me though the house and I'm going down the stairs towards the playroom I last saw my mother dying in. I know it hasn't been that was in a long time, but I'm scared that as soon as I turn this corner I'll see her laying there in the room again.

Courage is failing me and I just spin around the corner so I'm looking into the old play room, I see nothing, it's completely empty- well a few of my toys are still on the ground or on the shelves. The designated place for my stuffed cat isn't even the slightest bit dusty. I look around the room and I do not think that I should have done this, this is just a bad idea and I can feel tears starting to prickle my eyes and my vision is going slightly blurry.

A sound from the corner of the room catches my attention, but I notice it's only a small toy that's fallen off a shelf where I remember placing it a week before _it_ happened.

I let out a sigh as I step into the room, my shoes are sinking into the soft, plush carpet. I half expected for there to be a blood stain on the carpet where my mother had been. But it's clean and the same light cream color that I always remember is there. The other carpeting in the house is a deep speckled blue color that many times I dropped food on, except in the curious case of the guest room that has red carpeting.

I don't want to be here anymore, and the fastest way to get to the meadow where Lilly is, is through the kitchen and that's through the house and the back door is in the kitchen slash dining room.

My feet carry me before I think I've told my brain to move. I'm up the stairs and through the kitchen before I know it ad I'm running through the backyard towards the gap there was in the fence. The gap isn't there anymore and I launch myself so I grab the top of the fence and vault. I pull myself over and lay on top of the fence for a moment, I notice that the gap is still there, but I'm just too big to fit through it now.

I fall down to the ground and start running through the backyard of the old man who used to hate when I used his yard as my own playground. But I've never cared before- so why should I care now? Of course I wont!

I remember the way there like the back of my hand: through Mr. King Hearts backyard, taking care to avoid Mrs. Queen Hearts as she comes out her front door like she always used to. I turn left once I get to the sidewalk and run down the street. I pass a few people who yell after me, but I'm not bugging anyone really so I don't stop and just keep going.

My legs are starting to get tired much longer after they used to though and I'm almost there. My heart is pounding and I'm getting close. Going there shouldn't be an option right now, I should get back on a boat and go back to Canada to just face my fate.

Seeing the clearing isn't a real thing I should do, what if it's not there? Oh god! I could have buried my sister in an uprooted location! What'll I do if that happened? I might die if that happened!

At this point I should just cut my losses and start up a new life in my old house- maybe sell the house and buy a new one to live in. I _should_ just make myself a new life and forget about everything and everyone. I _should_ just take Lumier and Cerberus, and go back to Canada to face Saïx, but I cant because that stupid part inside of me that wants human contact is- and has been -craving Roxas. I don't know what he did to make me fall so hard and fast for him, but I don't think he'll ever leave my head.

I've left Lumier and Cerberus in my car back in the main part of town, where they can't hurt anyone and can still get out- only if they really try. My mind is going all over the place now, every step closer I get I cant concentrate on Lilly. I can see her the way I saw her in that dream, I can see her when she was dead, but I cant picture her the way I left her when she was alive.

My heart's calmed down a bit and I'm abnormally close- I cant even understand how close I am because it all feels like another out of body experience to me.

My legs are basically numb as I was through the meadow and towards the forest- man, that description I gave Roxas all those years ago was really vague now that I think about it. There are many more obstacles to go over then I remember: through the meadow and into the forest- check. Over the huge fallen tree (or under it)- check. Jump over the small stream and follow it up until you come to a large grassy hill- check. Then go into the woods and turn left when you get to the natural arch/tunnel made out of a tree- check. I told him not even remotely close directions. Oh well, I doubt he'd even remember he's so stoned all the time- if he's still alive that is.

I stop as I finally get to the clearing and take a deep breath to keep calm- though I feel as calm as I ever have surprisingly.

Lush green grass, long willow branches dangling from the trunk and branches, a soft breeze that's created due to the simple fact that this is Ireland and it's the best place in the whole fucking world! The willow that Lilly is buried under/ by at this moment has grown beautifully and I can see my carving of her tombstone two feet taller then it was when I left. The tree itself has also grown partly over where she is buried.

My feet carry me of their own accord and I don't remember making the movements, but I'm kneeling in front of her grave with one of the wild lilies that grow here in my hands, god… I'm going to cry- I cant help it. Crying is going to be unavoidable as soon as I move another muscle.

Every beat my heart makes that isn't hers makes me feel bad- I feel really bad looking back on it, that man killed my family because Mr. Cheshires rules, he broke the rule too though- he himself had- or still has -three kids… there was no validation for what he did to me! Either way it should have been me who was supposed to die- not Lilly and my parents! It wasn't right and- great here are the water works, I knew they were coming… though, am I really surprised?

"I'm so sorry Lilly… it really should have been me… it shouldn't have been you. That ass-hole-jack-ass should have killed me, not you. I'm so, so sorry." I couldn't help it, could I? Granted the guy who did it took down my parents- and that wasn't an easy thing to do. But I would have gladly given my life for hers. The rule was only right in that aspect: the younger should be allowed to live.

"Hey! What're you doing here? I should tear you limb from bloody limb you tosser! How dare you be in _my_ secret meadow and in front of _my_ tree!"

I'm frozen as I hear the voice, but I'm scared to find out if it's just my mind playing tricks on me, because surely no one would be able to find this place on their own- or would be willing to go that distance just wandering without being lost. But the voice- it was unmistakably _his_.

"I'm talking to you, ya bloody git! Because I swear to hell and back that if your just another bloody hallucination, I'm going to kick your ass!" I swallow the bile that wants to rise in my throat as I slowly stand up and turn around so I'm facing this person.

He looks slightly better- oh, no he doesn't. I just didn't actually look at him yet. He's still got huge bags under his eyes, his mouth still looks black from here, his finger nails are fairly colorful and he's still as thin as a bone. But it's him! He's alive! I cant believe it!

"R-Roxas? Tha-that's you… right?"

"Of course it's me you stupid hallucination! Fuck I'm tired of seeing your stupid face every time I have a fucking smoke! It's seriously pissing me off- to no end!" he looks just about right- fucking pissed and for the first time in my life, I'm scared OF him and not FOR him as he raises a smoke towards his lips and takes a drag. He's wearing a black leather chocker and the same necklace I remember as a kid is hanging from it, a checkered-patterned sweat band around his wrist and the same black and white wrings around his fingers.

"Roxas… I know your on ND and it's messing with your head, but I'm me, I swear to anything you want me to that I'm real."

"If your so real, how the hell did you get here? How did you find this place? Because Axel never actually told me that one… '_Axel_'" the look he's giving me now has certainly calmed down a lot and I can tell that he's willing to hear the story, and I'll re-tell it all, I will give him every ounce of detail I can if it'll make him believe I'm the one and only.

"I got lost one day when I was sword training… I stayed here for a few days- because I was scared to leave and get lost again." this wont help, I never told Roxas how I found this place, I never gave him my reasons for being out so late and running through the forest that's known to be filled with bandits and thieves, soldiers and general 'bad guys'.

"I don't know why I'm telling you though, I never told you the story before… I guess I'm just… happy to see you Roxas."

"Well I'm not! You're not Axel! Axel is gone and he's never coming to save me from this stupid hell! I'm tired of green! It only reminds me of Axel's eyes! I hate it and I don't even know why I'm telling you this, because your not him!" Roxas looks so enraged and I cant help but feel like I've really messed up his whole life. It really is my fault through, if I hadn't left we might have figured something out- I was smart enough for that!

"Roxas… do you really think I'm not here? That I'm some kind of illusion?" he doesn't look as bad as he did for that short period almost two years ago now, it's longer then I wanted it to be- damn. But maybe he's not as bad, if he's not as bad then I should be able to get through to him.

"Of course you are! It doesn't matter what Sora, Riku or even Luxord all tell me! You are DEAD! I cant love you anymore!" god, this just got really hard. I wish I know how to convince him of who I am, I wish I know what he knows, but I just don't. All I can hope is that I'll be able to convince him.

"Roxas… what'll it take to get you to believe me?"

"Nothing! I wont believe a figure of my imagination! I wont be fooled by these stupid hallucinations!" he clenches his fists and I let out a sigh. I don't know how to convince him without him being not under the influence of that damn drug!

"Roxas, I beg you… if you promise me that you'll get off Nightmare Delirium, I will prove to you that I'm real." the look on his face changes right away and he looks bewildered before it melts away and he's enraged now.

"And how will you prove that, hallucination?"

"I'll stay with you, at all times. I wont leave unless you want me to leave- even then I doubt I'll leave. I've fought through hell and high water to find you again Roxas."

"Nine years… and you find me once I've moved? What kind of sense is that?"

"It'll make sense when your thinking straight again. Roxas, I love you and if you don't think that I'm really me saying this… then I'll tell you every moment until you believe me Roxas." man, I don't think I've said his name this much in such a long time! It feels good to say his name… how did I not notice that?

Roxas looks like he's thinking now, and I understand but I wont give him an option. He'll know it's me and I'll be able to tell him my feelings properly. The fact that I've told him already is horrible of me, he must be seriously confused about everything that I've said and am willing to do so he'll believe I'm serious and honest.

"I don't believe you. Because as soon as I'm off Nightmare Delirium, I'll be too sad that your dead. Y-you have to be some kind of manifestation of my conscious or something. It-it'll hurt too much again, I-I cant take that pain again Axel." alright, the fact he knows how to correctly use 'manifestation' in a sentence is a really good thing at least.

"Fine, think whatever you want… I just wont stop until you get it Roxas." it hurts to know that I can be this close to him, so close, yet he still doesn't know I'm not dead.

"Then I'll just ignore you- I've been pretty good at it before you looked like him. Red hair and green eyes wont change that." the fact he thinks I'm a hallucination really sucks, I want to hug him and apologize, tell him a secret only the two of us know- but he'd figure it's all just made up inside his head.

Showing him real affection might be a saving grace though, I don't want him to think I'm part of his own mind by not being me.

I don't know how far I can go with my own emotions though, I want to do so much- tell him so much! But I cant because I don't want to scare him away from me- but at the same time, he also wanted me in the boggle- he'd looked for someone to play my part be before finding me.

I get up from my place on the ground, I cant think about it anymore… I have to act. The ground around the tree shifts under me slightly just because it's not pact down and quite loose. As I walk over to him my feet sink in ever so slightly. Each step makes his face go just two more shades of red and it looks too precious. I stop in front of him and my palms are sweaty as I reach up to cup his face. He flinches a bit as I touch him and I'm supposing he wasn't expecting to feel anything as I touch him.

His eyes are still super bright blue and they're rivaling the sky, I cant help but smile at him as I lower my face slightly. I shouldn't be doing this, I should just give him a hug and allow him to process it.

I'm watching to see if his eyes relax a bit, I don't want to kiss him if it's going to scare him. The closer I get to the kiss though, the lower his eyelids are slipping. As soon as he grabs my shirt I know that the kiss will happen unless hell intervenes.

His lips feel softer then I remember them, he's also not trying to monopolize this kiss like the first we shared. I don't know how to describe these feelings in me now though, this might not be good. His arms slide up and around my neck as I gently swipe my tongue across his bottom lip and he opens his mouth to me timidly.

The kiss is sweet until I break it for air, my head feels a little light and I'm certainly a little dizzy, but he didn't push me away and he didn't freak out… this is good, most certainly good.

"W-why?" he's pretty dazed and I'm sure that his brain is going insane with why 'his conscience' just did that, so I just give him a smile. I don't want to answer since I've already told him, it'd just get annoying for him to hear it again and again.

He's floundering a little now and pulling away slightly, I don't want him to feel trapped though, so I let him move away. "I-I have to get b-back… yeah." I just smile at him as he starts to leave the meadow, I would follow him back, but I did come to spend some time with Lilly and it wouldn't be fair to leave right now, even if I promised him I'd prove that I'm me by not leaving him.

Watching as he leaves is pretty hard, but if I leave within ten minutes I'll just track him to find out what path he takes to get here. Who knows, maybe he's a hallucination on my part. I don't know if I can feel any kind of hallucination, but if I can, then I might be as crazy as I've already though I am. Seeing my old house has probably made me go bat-shit crazy.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Once I walk up the front steps with Lumier and Cerberus beside me, I stick the key into the lock and knock twice before opening the door.

"Who's there?" Luxord kneels on the love seat and I've got a gun pointed at me, and it's starting to shake in the blondes hand.

"Well I wasn't expecting you to hug me or anything. But I mean: what kind of thank you is that for the guy who gave you the use of his house? Geez man. And put that thing away before you shoot something." his eyes are still insanely huge and I'm proud that the saucers are caused by me, who'd have thought I'd show up at my own house?

"A-Axel? Wh-what the hell are you doing here?"

"Wow, I feel so fucking welcomed. And I'll reiterate for you: it's my house. Got it memorized?" I tap my temple twice with my pointer finger as I give him a huge smirk.

"Axel! Oh-hell-shit-and-back-to-fuck! It's really fucking you!" Luxord hops over the railing and to be honest I'm surprised the old dog makes the landing. He wraps his arms around me in a hug and I cant help but smile a little, it feel nice to have a familiar, friendly touch.

Our embrace breaks and I take a step back and look at him. He's still got his piercing's in his ears, but the earrings are new and different. His hair is cropped in much the same fashion and finally he's out of that annoying Wolf coat and into a business shit and slacks. Good, I wont feel as bad now that I know he's alright.

I make a fist and slam it down on the top of his head- I've grown or he's shrunk it would seem- and he yells as a retort. "What the hell man! The bloody hell was that."

"These railings are not your monkey bars Luxord! If you want to act like an animal use the jungle gym out back! My family paid good money for those and if I wasn't allowed to play on them you sure-as-hell aren't!" I know that I sound like a grandmother, but would you want someone doing that with something our deceased parents bought?

"Wow Axel, didn't mean to upset you."

"Don't worry about it… just expect my damage bill in the mail in a few days." I give him a strained smile when I see the same old hole in the wall at the top of the stairs.

"But! Some of the stuff was here when we got-"

"Relax, I know. I'm just pulling your leg- unless something important is missing or broken." I take a deep breath and let it out with a sigh as I motion for Lumier and Cerberus to explore the house.

"So… where's Riku and Sora?"

"You're not asking about Roxas… how odd… do you no longer-"

"Already saw him… he thinks I'm his conscience in the 'form of Axel' as he put it. There is no need to see him at the moment. He's got a bit to think about as it is. So are you going to answer me?" I head up the stairs and towards the living room, leaving Luxord in the door way.

"They went out for the night. They'll probably be back around eleven or twelve. Roxas is in his room by the way- just incase your interested." I sit down across from the TV and notice right away that the furniture is different.

"Where is the old couch?"

"Sora and I had it put downstairs in that corner of what I'm guessing was your playroom. We didn't want to get rid of anything for certain." I nod my head and let out a sigh as I lean my head back and close my eyes to sleep. Despite the fact that the house still smells like it used to, this couch smells nothing like it.

"Are you going to tell me why it was almost two years instead of one?"

I get up and head back towards the stairs with my hands stuffed into my pockets. "After my nap. I'll tell you everything, everything that my book didn't anyhow." Luxord just smiles at that, indicating he's read it, good to know I guess.

"So: Axel O'Riley… I didn't think you'd be gutsy enough to use your real name for the book or author. I thought it was a fan of my book with a spin-off. So what's changed your mind?

"I made a few friends and lets just say that they took care of my problem that was Saïx following me. Russia is such a nice country in the winter. I stayed in the old palace for a while and my friends who live there are fantastic." Luxord's eyes go wide. It's no surprise to anyone for everybody to know that the palace is being used by the strongest mob in the world. "See you after my nap." I give Luxord one last wave before I vanish down into the playroom.

I close the door and skirt around the place where my mom had been. The furniture is under several white sheets and I pull them off to reveal the old, warn out couch and loveseat set that I used to love sitting on and taking afternoon naps in, during the summer.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Axel! Oh my god it is you!" these words are screamed in my ear as I'm tackled into the couch as someone starts to hug me and jump up and down on me like I'm a trampoline- oh! That's something I should get!

Who the hell is this? The voice is familiar… is it Sora, well whoever it is, their not really bugging me too much. It's been a long time since I've been woken up this way, and I kinda missed it.

"Sora… get off him already, your going to smother him to death." I open my eyes a sliver and look passed Sora to see Riku standing at the door, his arms are crossed over his chest and a smirk is on his face. "Hey Axel, how was your trip?" thank god… he's acting like I just went on vacation and not overreacting, thank you Riku.

"Shitty, thanks for bringing it up." I grab Sora's shoulders since he's just sitting on my stomach now and I flip him off the couch and onto the soft, cushiony floor. "How've you been for the last two years Sora?"

He's blushing and I cant help but smirk and press a quick, light kiss to his cheek and roll off him so Riku wont kill me. "I-I've been alright… R-Roxas is-"

"Don't worry about it Sora. I know some of the details. To be frank I don't want to know the rest right now." I sit myself up a bit and let out a sigh. "Know what time it is?"

"Just after midnight. I'm real sorry about letting him wake you."

"Don't worry about it Riku… do you know where Lumier and Cerberus are?"

"They're in the other side of the room, the door was closed and they were sleeping outside the door." I nod my head and pull myself back onto the couch and I look up at them. Sora's still got a huge smile on his face that looks completely goofy, I cant help but return it. I'm taken aback by the whole situation, being 'home' isn't a thing that I thought was possible in so long so it's hard to take in I guess.

"Alright. I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Really Axel? Your not going to vanish? This isn't a dream?"

"Yes Sora, I'll be here. Promise." he gives a breath-taking smile and I return it as he and Riku leave my room, Sora holding his cheek where I'd kissed him. I know it's just because I shocked him by kissing his cheek, even if it wasn't really emotional, he's not used to that kind of thing from me.

"Goodnight Sora. Goodnight Riku. Goodnight Luxord, Goodnight Lumier and Cerberus, and goodnight Roxas." I give a bit of a smile and lay back down on the couch so I can get some more sleep. My eyes are closed and I think I finally feel peaceful for the first time as I fall asleep in so long… it feels, nice.

**AN:**

** Me: alright, after that last chapter I think I've finally gotten over the 'no one cares what'll I do' feeling about this fic. I want it to send a message of it's own and that message can be interpreted as many ways as you want it to.**

** Axel: are you going to get mad at me again for talking here?**

** Me: no, I'm sorry about the last chapter Axel…. It was just a bad day in general and I was at my ropes end.**

** Roxas: I'm finally back in it! I'm still a stoner, but I'm back baby! Love me!**

** Me: wow… anyhow. Thank you all for reading, and I'm going to pass it off to Gaara now.**

** Gaara: thank you all for reading, and we hope to hear your comments to let Elizabeth know how she's doing. She loves critique, it makes her smile.**


	19. Chapter 18

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Eighteen**

'_**Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it'- Andre Gide**_

I let out a sigh as I roll onto my stomach, Lumier and Cerberus have decided that it's time for me to wake up by licking my face repeatedly. Lumier never really licks my face unless it's important so I just open my eyes a little and glare a bit, it doesn't stop them though and they keep it up.

"Lumier, Cerberus… leave me alone." I'm really whining more then giving them a command, but they just sit back a little and smile at me. They are such fucking trouble-makers, but I cant help but love them.

I rub my face into the cushion of the couch as I push myself up to get the slobber off. I really do need a shower, I wonder if they have any extra towels around anywhere. I hold my watch in front of my face a little and see that it's almost three in the afternoon, fuck… I need to feed these two.

The food is out in my car and I let out a sigh as I roll my shoulders and motion for them to follow me. The basement is so cold in the mornings and it's so refreshing, even in Russia the entire house was warmed by heaters so we wouldn't freeze in the middle of the night. There are four pairs of shoes at the door all lined up, I didn't even realize that I'm still in my shoes until now, damn. I run a hand through my hair as I open the front door, allowing both Lumier and Cerberus to dart out of the house and start sniffing the front lawn.

"Axel! What're you doing up so early? I thought you'd still be sleeping." I turn around, still in the doorway and see Luxord at the top of the stairs with a bright smile on his face.

"Well, I had to feed them at some point. I'm surprised they didn't start trying to eat me I've waited so long. Wanna join me?" I jab my thumb in the direction of my car and Luxord nods his head and follows me out.

I feel like I was supposed to tell him something, it might have been important, I'm not sure, but I know for sure that I was supposed to talk with him about something. "So, want me to introduce you to the neighbors if they're out?" I shrug, my main concern right now if feeding my dogs and then going to find Roxas to say good morning.

"I guess that wouldn't hurt." I just open my car door, not having bothered using the lock last night and I can see Luxords eyebrows raise, but it's not like this is a dangerous part of town, it's actually quite suburbanized. I grab out their dog bowls and scoop the right amount into each bowl right there on the lawn since they are practically jumping on me for it.

"It doesn't look like anyone's out right now, I guess they all went somewhere, they're really nice people, I'm sure you'll like them." I nod my head and take a deep breath as I hop up onto the hood of my car and rest my head back against the windshield. It doesn't feel real that I'm here, I've had so many realistic dreams that I'm just hoping this isn't one.

"Oh! There is one of the girls now! Hey Bell, come over here for a minute, I wanna introduce you to somebody!" I open my eyes and sit up. My head instantly swivels to her house, exactly where I remember it to be and sure enough, she's out front in a knee length blue dress and her chocolate brown hair tied behind her head in some kind of fashion I cant see. In short, she still looks wonderful, and healthy.

I notice her eyes go wide and before I know it she's rushing over, almost tripping over her own feet she's in such a hurry. I slide off the front of my car and catch her as she stumbles again as she's trying to stop herself from moving.

"Bell, what're you rushing for?" her eyes are still wide and I help her get her balance again so she can stand on her own.

"A-Axel… oh god. It's you! I'm so happy!" she lunges at me and wraps her arms around my neck in a tight hug. "We-we all thought you died too!" I can feel that my shirts getting slightly wet where her face is and I let out a sigh as I wrap my arms around her to return the hug.

"Uh, yeah… it's a long story Bell. Do the others still live here too?" she nods her head and I pat her head a bit to try and calm her down since she's crying somewhat like a child. "Do you want to go get them? I'll make us all some of my moms famous cookies if you do."

"Oh god… I've tried but I still cant make them the way she did." of course none of them knew how to make them, they were MY moms. "Are-are you really here?"

"Everyone seems to be thinking that recently. Yes, I'm really here." she breaks the hug and takes a step back, drying the tears from her eyes with a smile on her face and she's shaking her head a bit.

"Y-yeah, I'll go get them. Oh god… I-I don't know what to say… I have to go tell Beast!" she gives a smile and turns back towards her house, running inside I instantly pick up the sound of Bell calling through the house.

"I'm going to go find Roxas now. Lumier, Cerberus… come." both dogs have finished their food as it is so I lead them into the house, up the stairs and through the kitchen before opening the back door for them. I keep my eyes away from the spot where my father and Lilly had been. I don't really want to move over that spot so I once again skirt around the spot where I know he was laying.

"How are you going to make cookies Axel? Do you have enough supplies to make them? Do you even know what we have in the kitchen?"

"Do we have flour?"

"Yes."

"Do we have sugar?"

"Yes."

"Do we have vanilla?"

"Yes."

"Then as long as none of you have gone snooping around my house to the point of ripping it apart, we have enough." Luxord just raises an eyebrow and I smile as I leave the kitchen and head back down to the old playroom that I slept in last night. I walk over to what most people take for the electricity box and open it, revealing an airtight box that has a fair supply of various chocolate kinds that my mom used to make by hand- the reason her cookies were so good. She taught me how to make it, and I'll defiantly get into that once I settle in a bit, maybe start up a job of it and sell it in town like she used to.

I grab enough chocolate and sweets for a large batch of cookies before closing the wood covered door again and making my way back up into the kitchen. "Do me a favor and preheat the oven to 350 please Luxord." Luxord nods his head and turns the dial on the oven.

It doesn't take long to get the cookies made with the amounts I had memorized years ago. Pinches and dashes, scoops and handfuls. The cookies are in the oven and are ready to come out in a few minutes by the time the doorbell rings. I can hear the girls all outside the door, talking to one another like they did when I was younger and they wanted me to help them do something like get a kite out of a tree, or chase away the scary dog that liked prowling around our street.

"Can you get that Luxord? I'm going to go wake up Sora and Riku."

"Uh, are you sure you should be doing that? They kinda don't sleep in their-"

"I'm not stupid. I'm just going to wake them up." I roll my eyes and go down the stairs, passing the front door knowing that they could see my silhouette through the translucent glass that borders the door.

I slip around the corner beside the bathroom and stop in front of the closed door that I know the two are behind since the only other door that wasn't to the playroom is open and no one is in there. "Riku, Sora… I'm coming in." I reach for the handle but before I can open the door it's opened for me and Sora vaults towards me from behind it.

"You really are here! I thought it was a dream!" what is everyone's problem with dreams? Is it really that hard to believe that I got some shit sorted out? Oh well.

"Yeah, I'm here. Now come upstairs, I've made some cookies and I'm having a few old friends over. You don't have to come if you don't want to, but I'd like you to." Sora and Riku both nod their heads.

I let Sora go and head back upstairs, seeing right away that the seven girls are all in my living room, a few of my old male friends with them too. "Hi guys, I'll be with you all in a minute I have to-"

"Axel!" the six other girls who hadn't already jumped on me do it now and I'm tackled to the ground as all my friends walk over and welcome me back through the throng of girls that are dog-piling me right now- something I never thought they'd do because of manners.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow… I'm being crushed!" the pain in my torso right now is unbelievable. "Help me?" Luxord walks over and stands beside a few of my old friends and he's just smiling at me and shaking his head. "Common Lux… I have to go get Roxas." he just lets out a sigh and he starts tapping the girls on their shoulders.

"Axel! Why didn't you tell any of us you were alright? Why didn't you write or call? Why are you acting like you just got back from the fucking store? And why aren't you answering me?" I figured Kairi would be the worst one to deal with if I ever saw her again. In a way she was my Lilly before and after Lilly came along. I was allowed to treat her like a sister and I was allowed to call her my sister. That little girl with auburn hair, fairly short purple skirt and white tank top. She never cared about her appearance, she just loved adventure… a lot like me. I was actually playing with her in the forest that day I got lost and found the meadow.

"Kairi, I couldn't. Sorry."

"You were my big brother! How could you leave like that! I was so scared when you went missing, and now you're acting like you just got back from the forest like when you were a kid!" she's crying in my lap now and I cant help but let out a sigh. I don't know how to deal with crying people, whenever a woman cried before it was because and I quote 'my husband didn't deserve this' or 'I should go back to my boyfriend' (something of the sort like that) but never for being upset at me personally.

"Kairi, I-I don't know what you want me to say." she shakes her head and doesn't look up at all. I feel really bad and so I let out a sigh before I start rubbing her back in small circles. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize you dick! Just tell me why already!"

"I'll do that in a minute… I have to go wake someone up first, alright?" Kairi gets off me and goes into the living room as I stand and go into the kitchen to take the cookies out of the oven.

It's trivial and girlish, but I cant really think of waking Roxas up in a sweeter way then with a kiss and a plate of cookies for him. The batch is big enough so I put twelve on the plate incase he wants to fill himself on them or not.

To make sure that I don't walk in on him doing anything I shouldn't see I knock on the door twice and then I open it and take a step inside. I was really hoping that I'd catch Roxas before he was awake, but as I see him sitting on the window ledge, with a smoke in his hand and a smile on his face as the multi-colored smoke comes out of his mouth and wafts out the window.

"Excuse me. What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he starts a bit and he looks shocked before his eyes go dull again and he goes back to his smoke. I grind my teeth together and walk over to him, the entire room smells of the shit and it's pissed me off, I don't care what the hell he wants to do with his lungs- well I really do care -but I refuse to let him do it in my parents house. "Get this shit outta my house Roxas. I don't give a shit if you hate me and want to punish me, but respect the dead."

I snatch the smoke out of his hand after I set the cookies down on the nightstand and I turn on my heel, not bothering to listen as he curses and starts to follow me out of the room.

"Fuck Axel! Give it back! How the fucking hell can you move shit? You're just in my fucking head! Stop walking you stupid clot-pole! I want my fucking-"

"First off Roxas: I'm not in your stupid head, I'm real. Secondly: this is my house and that means my rules. Those rules are: no smoking drugs, no drugs period! Thirdly: I refuse to allow you to keep going down this path while I'm around. I'm sorry that I wasn't there, I'm sorry that I thought giving you all the money in the world so you could make good with your life would have been a good thing. I made a mistake and I screwed up both our lives. I get it, I deserve to die and you deserve to throw me into a burning pit. But I will not let that happen until you know I'm sorry and no longer think I'm part of your own fucking head!" I don't know why I'm suddenly so angered at him, but I cant just let him do that in their house.

"Axel! Stop being a fucking dick and give it-"

"Stop doing that! Listen Roxas, I don't care. I'm sorry and I cant say that enough!" I crumble the smoke in my hand, feeling the embers at the end burn my hand a little before they snuff out completely and I'm left standing at the top of the stairs, my neighbors all in the living room, Sora and Riku are at the bottom of the stairs and I cant decide what I want to do.

"You're not real. Axel is dead and he's not coming back! If you're not part of my own head then your just a fake! And I want nothing to do with a fake Axel!" Roxas stomps his foot and wobbles down the stairs like he's been hit by a car and is trying to walk away. Both Riku and Sora move out of his way and allow him to stomp out of the house.

I let out a sigh and turn away from the door, he's just going to get more, I know that… I'm not going to pretend I don't. But it hurts that he's so enraged about me coming back, he practically hates me, and he doesn't even know he's saying it to the real me.

I walk into the living room and let out a sigh as I sit down on the soft couch beside Kairi where the only open spot is in the room. The room is looking at me and I let out a sigh. "Sorry about this Luxord, Riku, and Sora… but I figure I should start at the beginning... further back then even the book started."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I had to stop ten times to answer questions that people wanted me to elaborate on, it took me five hours and by the time I was done I'd ignored three calls from Yuffie, and I'm supposing she's mad about that.

"Wow Axel… I'm pretty shocked that you made it back. You alright man?" I nod my head at Charming and let out another sigh as I run my hand through my hair.

"Uh, yeah… I gotta go make a call, you guys, I have to go make a call." I get up off the seat as Kairi gets up and starts talking with Riku and Sora because the three of them are apparently close friends- I never doubted that Sora would make friends.

I pull my phone out of my pocket and walk out onto the back deck, checking the railings strength while I'm here. It looks pretty good and I raise the phone to my ear after hitting Yuffie's number, I really hope she's not mad about me ignoring the calls… it's just that that talk was really important. I feel slightly vulnerable with this many people knowing, but they had to know- especially if I go missing again because of certain blue haired men with scars.

"Axel! Why didn't you pick up? God, I'm so worried! Are you alright?"

"Uh, yeah… I'm fine. Why, are you alright Yuffie? You sound out of breath."

"Axel, I'm coming to Ireland, I'm on a plane now."

"Why?" why the hell does she need to come here? And why is she out of breath on a plane? Am I missing something completely?

"Saïx made a bee-line for Ireland after Russia, he's been there for months Axel. I'm sorry I didn't catch this sooner. Cloud and Sephiroth are landing in like ten minutes in the port." my eyes go wide at hearing this news. I catch movement out of the corner of my eye and my head jerks to the right towards the large pile of wood that is generally used for fire, but all I see is a bluish-grey tail vanishing through the planks of wood.

"Alright… do you have any advice for me at the moment?"

"Go to the port and wait for Cloud and Sephiroth. They'll help you track him down once they get there. The smudge that is him is going to be wiped off the surface of the earth, I swear to god by the time I get my hands on him there wont even be ashes left to bury or scatter." my eyes go wide again; what the hell did he do to piss her off so much?

I'm a stranger here, yes I know their names and how they look, but I haven't been here for thirteen years, I haven't known them for thirteen years, I haven't grown up with them anymore.

"Alright Yuffie." I hang up and give a sigh as I lean against the railing of the back deck, how could I have thought I'd be free of him? I should have just gone back to Canada and let him come after me, let him come so I could kill him.

This might be better though, Ireland has changed, yes. But the basic layout of the land hasn't. I still know the forest like the back of my hand and I refuse to let him better me. Ireland is my territory. The rest of the world was his, he knows it better then me, but no one NO ONE… knows Ireland better then me. I've spent years worth of time in it's forests and finding lakes, streams to live off of. My father made sure that I knew Ireland better then anyone else, and closer to the end I might have known it better then him.

Cloud and Sephiroth cant do anything here, they cant do as much damage as me. Cloud is all about planning and thinking every move out, Sephiroth is about a brutal kill, neither of them can think on their feet properly.

I know now that I'll have to kill again and a shiver runs down my spine. I don't want to kill again, I was hoping those were just rage-filled flukes… but I'm planning it now: getting him lost in the woods as he chases me and surprise him completely. I could trap him and watch as he slowly dies if I want, I could make a trap that'd hang him. I could drown him like Xion died, I could slit a major artery like Demyx, or I could bash his head so many times that his brain starts coming out of his skull like Zexion.

I hate how I can think like this, I don't want to… but it might be best that I can think like this. If I was the innocent kid who left Ireland, I'd be screwed right now. And I guess nothing ever proved I wouldn't be able to do this, and I have to best him now. It's no longer an option.

"Axel, is everything alright?" Luxord walks out of the house with a cookie in his hand and a smile on his face that I'm guessing is from the taste.

"No. get Sora and Riku out here, I have to go say goodbye to my guests." Luxord's smile drops and he swallows the bite of cookie in his mouth.

"What's wrong?" I shake my head and just unhitch myself from the railing before walking into the house.

"Hey guys, I'd love to stay, but I have to go meet a few people at the pier." I give a smile and head back out onto the deck to wait for Sora Riku and Luxord. Lumier and Cerberus are luckily here and I cant help but smile at them.

"Axel, what's wrong?" Sora looks really upset and I just give him a smile as he walks up to me.

"Relax, it's nothing big Sora. I'm just going to go to the pier. But I need the three of you to stay here alright? You cant leave the house. And I really need you guys to be safe."

"Why? You're not telling anyone anything!" Sora looks upset and I just let out a sigh as I lean forward and press a kiss to the top of his head that Riku tries not to notice.

"Saïx is here. So stay inside, and stay close to Riku. I'll be back soon."

"Saïx is still here? I thought you said you lost him." Riku's glaring at me now, and he has every right to. I just shrug.

"He's always known my final destination. Ireland is my home, it makes sense that he'd know I'd come back."

"I'm going to rip him limb from fucking-"

"Riku. I've got this taken care of. Just watch Sora alright? Lumier and Cerberus are staying here to watch the house." Sora opens his mouth to protest, but Riku beats him to it.

"If you dare think that I'm going to sit back here and wait as you face that bastard alone, you're fucking kidding me Axel. I don't really know about Luxord, but Sora will kill me if I do that! You're not doing this on your own. He's had two years to prepare, do you have any idea what he could be planning?"

"Yes, I know he could have something extravagant and cunning planned. But I have to do this Riku. It's a matter of finishing something I started. He still doesn't know we're together, he might know that you guys are living in this house, I don't know. But if he sees us both together then that makes Sora more of a target and I care about all three of you two much to put targets on your back. Hell could strike here while I'm gone Riku, and you have to be here." I'm glaring into his aqua eyes, begging him to understand that if Cloud, Sephiroth and I don't succeed in getting rid of him, that he and Luxord are Sora's last chance. The only reason I'm not more worried about Roxas, is because I know he's in the meadow and that means safe.

I don't want to draw this out, I know Cloud and Sephiroth are most likely going to tell me to leave the country, but I'm not leaving. I'm tired of running from him, it's not worth it anymore. I'll spend the rest of his life running if I don't just face him now. I don't even know why he wants me so bad, I wont do it anymore. I'm never going back to that horrid life.

I turn away from them, ignoring the fact that Sora had practically looked heartbroken. But he'll be fine, as long as Riku's there he'll be just fine, no one's needed me for this long, so why should they start now? Roxas doesn't even know I exist, and maybe… if he thinks I'm dead he'll just be better off.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The car ride wasn't long or hard for me to get to the docks that they'd most likely be coming in from, mainly because there were no airports in Ireland and the only way into or out of the country was by ship.

"I swear to fucking god Sephiroth, if you piss him off for one second while we're here, I'm going to kill you. I do not have the patients or energy to deal with Axel being pissed at you. This is just another job. Get in, get out no one but our target gets hurt."

"You're kidding me right? Why the hell cant we just stab the guy until he's dead and then get rid of the body? Why do you always have to think of such boring ways to kill people?"

The two monotone voices catch my attention and I let out a sigh as I swivel my head in their general direction, I've been so used to them arguing back in Russia that even though it's been a month or two since I last saw them, it's impossible for me to not know that it's them.

I let out a sigh as I see them, Cloud glaring ahead of him and Sephiroth looking around with a smirk on his face. Sephiroth takes a deep breath and lets it out in a sigh, he seems happy here, makes a comment under his breath that I cant really hear. Cloud mumbles something and I raise my hand above my head. "Hey! Over here guys!" they both look over at me and I just smirk at them.

"What're you doing here? Did Yuffie finally get in touch with you?" I nod my head in agreement and Cloud rolls his eyes. "She was trying for hours, what the hell did you do, climb into a hole?"

"Kinda, yeah. Anyhow, where do you guys want to start?" I cross my arms over my chest as I wait for an answer. Neither of them want to start so I just let out a sigh before rolling my shoulders and looking around the docks. "Well… I can take you guys anywhere. I know this place like the back of my hand so there is really no problem with taking you anywhere you want to go." Cloud looks around a little more before turning to me, his blue eyes looking surprised before he finally answers my question.

"How about your place? We could work out of there and then I guess we could take turns on lookout or something." I don't really want them at my house, I want to keep that as much of a safe zone as possible, but they're right, I'd rather have three killers in the house on my side then no killer on my side and have something go wrong. God, I just don't know anymore.

How hard is it to protect the people I care about? It's not like the list is too long, well… not the ones I really want, but why has my life turned into running and killing? This just isn't fair in the slightest.

"Fine then. We'll go back to my place." I cross my arms again and turn away from them and back to my car. I don't really car if they're following since they probably already know where my house is. "Uh… do you guys know the way?"

"Yes, of course we do. We learned that the day we-"

"Shut up you asshole. Yuffie told us not to scare him with stuff like that." Cloud cut Sephiroth off pretty quickly but it doesn't matter because it just proved my suspicion.

"Alright then, you guys can go back to my place. Tell Luxord- the blonde guy -that I said it's alright. You'll probably have to see Lumier and Cerberus and prove that they wont rip you apart, I'd leave that to Cloud if I were you two. I'll be there at some point tonight." my chest is starting to hurt again and I'm getting worried, I have to go find Roxas and I have to find him now.

"Aren't you coming Axel?"

"Nope. I kinda just said that. Later, you can use my car- it's the blue American muscle parked in the back of the lot over there. If you scratch it, I'll kill you." I turn my head in time to give them a smirk and turn back towards the closest trail through the forest.

My heart feels like it's going to pound out of my chest. I'm not too sure what's happened, but I feel really bad, like the simple fact that Saïx is here has suddenly made the world start to implode. But he's always been there, for the last two years the only time I was away from him was when I was with Yuffie in Russia.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I'm about half way there now, green trees around me and the stream is trickling in that soothing rhythm that always lulled me to sleep when I thought of it in my head at night. It's the sound I thought of every night in Canada, when I was with my aunt and wanted to run away, when I was with Roxas in our crappy apartments I could barely pay for, when a customer had been so bad I'd wanted to cry. It's the sound of relaxation to me, associated with everything good in my life aside from Roxas, because Roxas is like his own little section in my mind.

The calming sound is broken by a scream and it's one I know too well. The one I heard when he was in a car, driving passed me towards the Reapers palace, the one I heard when he was scared at night that Ventus was going to find him and hurt him. It's the sound I promised myself I'd never hear again.

My eyes snap open and I freeze, why is he screaming? Why did it sound so horrid? What the hell happened that could make him- why am I asking myself questions? Run you worthless legs, run!

I start running and it's not fast enough, why the hell aren't I running fast enough? I'm jumping over bushes and climbing over fallen trees, there are more then I remember- shit, this cant be good!

"Help me! Somebody help me! Axel! Help me!" my eyes go wider as he yells for me to help him as I get to the meadow. How the hell didn't I hear a helicopter? He's slung over Saïx's shoulder and the damn scarred freak has got a smirk on his face bigger then I've ever seen. Roxas is kicking and screaming, punching the idiots back, but he's not letting up and the helicopter is starting to fly away. Shit!

"Roxas! Bite him!" I run over towards the tree and start climbing, there is still a bit of the ladder that Saïx is on that I might be able to jump to, but I cant climb quick enough.

I'm half way up the tree by the time I hear Saïx scream and then Roxas' followed right away. I look up to see him falling, he was high enough up already that it all feels like no time is passing as I get my feet onto a branch and run over. I'm surprised I'm not falling before I jump out of the tree and grab him.

This falling sensation isn't normal in the slightest, I'm wrapping my body around Roxas, making sure that I protect his head. It feels weird, but I would describe this sensation as the same one I had when I realized I was in love with Roxas. It's light, happy, scary as hell, new but familiar, and warm.

I don't even register how close we are to the ground before all I feel is pain, and I realize I cant feel anything. There is a bit of fear right now, but it's finally just… me. I don't have to worry about anything right now, because right now… the world is gone to me.

**AN:**

**Me: hello all and welcome back. This chapter is kinda odd and a little rushed, I know. But it's really hard to write in this style -.-'**

**Axel: well I like it. People finally get to know what's going on in my head.**

**Me: yeah, too bad my mind is taking over too much and the 'character' is getting lost. Anyhow, the next chapter is going to be a different set up/style.**

**Roxas: I think a change would be nice, unneeded, but nice.**

**Me: well I try. Anyhow, I also have to kinda thank me continuing this story to a Fortune cookie I got (surprisingly enough) I went out for dinner one night with the family and this was the fortune cookie I got at the end of the night: _'There is new hope for projects you had almost given up on' _this just kinda inspired me because I really was ready to give up and in a whole bowl of like fifty cookies, I grabbed this one.**

**Axel: wow! I'm am thoroughly impressed Elizabeth! But, why were you going to give up on me?**

**Me: I've already answered that question, so I wont go on the rant again. That really was just a bad day for me -_- I'm better now, perspective has changed for the better and I'm ready to finish this fic with a BANG! (as soon as it needs to be finished)**


	20. Chapter 19

**Take the Fight Out of the Kid**

**Chapter Nineteen**

'_**What a heavy burden is a name that has become too famous.'**_**- Voltaire**

My whole body hurts, is that normal, no, no it's not. All I remember is this blue monster grabbing me up, and then as I was falling through a rabbit hole. I think a red monster jumped out of nowhere and grabbed me. It turned into some kind of dragon and wrapped around me, so tightly I felt like I couldn't breathe, but that might have been from the falling feeling.

As we were falling I heard it say something, I think it said: 'I'm sorry Roxie.' but no one calls me that. No one has called me that since Axel, and that was only once or twice.

I open my eyes and the tree I'd found a year ago is above me, it's twisted and leafless branches above me, looking like they're going to eat me. It's a sight I'm comfortable with seeing, I've laid in this spot enough times before to know that this is the meadow I've found, I had been out looking for Axel's in the scary forest. Intent on making a memorial for him, but I couldn't find him.

Wait a minute, it feels like something is still wrapped around me; my head, my arms and torso, and my legs. It's the dragon, oh god! I try and worm away from it but the hold is too tight and it's actually really comforting, maybe the dragon was just another hallucination.

The sky is pretty dark, the meadow is only lit by stars. Damn, this is gorgeous… how many times have I stayed out this late? Man, by the time I get back that Sora kid is going to freak and flip out on me. I don't even know why I go back though, there is nothing there but horrid memories for me. Axel is around every corner of that house, especially in the room I sleep in, and in that room downstairs where I find almost all of my comfort with the old couches that Sora and Luxord moved.

"Why did he have to leave? He shouldn't have died and left me alone." Nightmare Delirium is the only thing I find comfort in now, it takes away the pain and it makes everything more enjoyable to live again. The excitement of never knowing what I'm going to see is what I love.

"I'm sorry Roxie, I fucked up… and I… cant fix, it." my eyes go wide and I turn my head towards where the voice came from, it was really close to my ear and I cant believe it but the dragon that grabbed me from the rabbit hole is now that hallucination of Axel again. It's arms wrapped around my head and torso, it's legs around mine and I'm on top of it.

"Oh god… not again." I roll to the side and we both groan, me and my hallucination. "God, get out of my head already, will you?" it just groans more as I sit cross-legged beside it on the moist ground, my clothes are kinda wet too, damn it must have rained while I was asleep. "Fuck… how the hell do I keep picturing you like this?" in all honesty, he looks hot now. Until just a little while before I was taken here to Ireland, he still looked like the normal Axel, all the hallucinations I'd had before then he looked normal. But then it was like a brick wall hit me and now he's older, stronger, all around more. He's sexy and hot, god, it makes me love him even more every time this hallucination pops up.

Thinking of which, these recent hallucinations are killing me. I shouldn't be able to feel them, I shouldn't have felt that kiss before, it shouldn't have been able to take my smoke. All of a sudden my hallucination is stronger, and I can touch him. It might just be the way it was when I was back in Vancouver, seeing people with red hair as him because I wanted to, but the colours had never been right before, the green of their eyes had never been apple enough, or had enough of that acid undertone. Even their hair wasn't the right colour, it never had been. Axel's hair was red and the epitome of fire to me. Everything about him reflected his personality so well, he was Axel, and he was the love of my life.

I'm not sure why I think of him that way, we only knew each other for a short amount of time. But when I went to the morgue as per the request of the Reaper when they got word, and I saw him laying there. God, he was so cold and grey, that same red hair dulled with death and his eyes closed out of respect. I had cried for hours, I'd flung myself at him, my lifeline and cried my eyes out, and when my arms lost all strength I crumpled to the floor and cried some more.

I don't know why I even killed Ventus when I got back to the Reapers Palace, I was just so sad, and so filled with rage… when he came at me I couldn't take it, I thought I was only punching him, that I was only hitting him with my fists. I don't know when the knife got there.

I run my hands through my hair a few times, it's damp but still manages to bounce back into the same style I've had for years. I should be getting back, but something about this hallucination just keeps drawing my attention, maybe it's the tattoo's under his eyes that weren't there until two years ago, maybe it's the fact that his face is contorted in pain and he's mumbling my name. But I just cant leave him here. Even if he's a pigment of my imagination.

My body's hurting so much, but I pull myself up to my feet and let out a groan as I stretch up and my spine cracks. I knew I fell into the gutter, but good god, this is like taking the express route through the down pipe and into the puddle on the ground. My mind is spinning and the world is spinning around me, and I feel like there is no saving me from this. The horrid thing about Nightmare Delirium is that it's taking my fondest emotions and distorting them, it's taking good things and making them funny. I don't know reality anymore, that's all it is to me now, a word.

I sometimes have to remind myself the simplest things like: my name is Roxas- I don't remember my last name -I had a brother named Ventus, but I killed him. I have been in love with Axel O'Riley since I was eight- but he's dead now. I was born in London, moved to Vancouver, then was taken to Ireland. I'm on a drug called Nightmare Delirium that I love, because it takes away all the pain in my life.

The tree is looking a little less scary but I don't know if that's because of me or not, it might just change- what doesn't change nowadays? I let out a sigh before slightly stumbling towards my hallucination, I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I give up thinking and just walk over. I roll him onto his side and put one arm over one of my shoulders and a leg over the other, it'll be an odd position, but there is a fairly high tree I can use a few feet into the forest that'll help me move him around.

I pick him up and start on my way back home, this hallucination is heavy, but hallucinations do stuff like this, don't they? God, if only it didn't hurt so much for this to happen.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

My Axel hallucination is on my back now, arms over my shoulder, legs around my waist and my hands under his knees. His face is pressed against the side of my neck and I've been feeling a steady breathing coming from him, so luckily I know the hallucination is alive.

The city around me is filled with large moving creatures that don't resemble humans in the slightest, it smells horrible and the noises are so loud I had to stop at a bus stop three blocks back to put my iPod in my ears. I'm hearing nothing but soft naturalistic sounds now thanks to the tracks.

Axels house is in sight and I climb the mountain of a driveway easily, but I fumble with the front door and it doesn't open. The monsters that fly through the air on a normal basis are getting closer and it's starting to scare me. Without much thought I walk back down to the low window to the playroom downstairs at the top of the front lawn that resides at the top of a hill, that I know is unlocked.

I set Axel down on the ground and lay him out flat as I work the window open enough for me to crawl through. It's not even close to a tight fit for me since I'm so thin, and the fact that my nails are still glowing random colours makes it unnecessary for me to really look where I'm putting my hands.

I belly crawl into the room and stand on one of the dressers Luxord put here for storage and look back through the window at Axel, his face is still scrunched in pain and he's groaning a little again. With a grunt of my own I pull him into the room and hop down with him on my shoulders, that makes his weight come down on me though and I falter so I'm on my hands and knees, Axel on my back in an awkward position that I cant help but think bad things for.

Shaking my head slightly I get up and haul Axel over to the couch, allowing him to fall onto the couch and I situate him on the soft cushions before grabbing a blanket from the far side of the room, one of the ones that smells like Axel and walk over, laying down beside him and pulling the blanket over the both of us. I still hurt so much, and I doubt I'll remember all of this in the morning, but I need another smoke soon, or else the withdraw effects will start up again.

I've come close to quitting before, but the pain always gets too bad and I chicken out. I'm scared of pain, I hate it so horribly. It's why I love ND.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Who the fuck is this twerp? And why the hell does he look like me!" the voice is loud and it's woken me with somewhat of a start.

"It's Roxas, I wonder how they got in last night." I roll over towards what feels like a chest and I snuggle in so I'm blocking out the sounds more. I don't know what's been going on, but that nagging pain in my stomach is back- soon it'll spread to my head, and eventually my whole body.

"Will you guy's shut up? We're trying to sleep." the chest that I'm snuggling into rumbles with the voice and air brushes my hair as the person I'm obviously clinging to speaks.

"Fine Axel. I'll feed the mutts for you. Anytime you want me to wake you up for?"

"No. and their not Mutts, now get outta here assholes." it sounds just like him, and their calling him the name I know so well. But Axel is dead, so why does this have to happen to me? Isn't the drug supposed to make me hallucinate about good or bad? One extreme to the next? But no, this is targeting my worst fear, the fear that Axel is nagging me from beyond the grave.

The sound of the door gently clicking shut catches my attention and I let out a sigh, I don't think I can fall back to sleep now, I know that my hallucinations are taking over again. I open my eyes and the shirt-clad chest is swimming with bright colours and insane spirals on a black base. The lights are too bright and I close my eyes again as I groan, hiding my head further into the chest. Axel always smelled like fire, just like this couch… that's the only good thing about sleeping here, in this house, in Ireland. Is it all reminds me of him. Even if that remembering hurts.

"Are you awake Roxas?" the velvet voice, oh god I love that voice, it sends shivers down my spine. I nod my head as fingers start to run through my hair, they feel so long, almost too long. As the fingers trail down my neck and back a bit I feel like their snakes and I move away from the touch, further into the person in front of me. "Something wrong?"

"S-snakes." I'm shivering and the snakes move away from me completely. I take the opportunity and get up, the room spins around me and I'm completely dizzy and falling over. The snakes come out of nowhere and I scream as they circle around me, crushing me until it's hard to breathe.

"No! No! I-I hate snakes! No!" my fear is getting to me and I'm crying in hysterics and the snakes are holding me up off the ground. "I-I d-don't wanna die! I-I cant yet! Oh god, let me go! Please?"

"Roxas, Roxas, relax… it's me." I turn my head towards the sound but a contorted half Axel, half snake is there instead. Long sharp fangs are pointed at me and I scream again, renewing my efforts to be freed despite the tightening grip. Is this how a rat feels before it's killed and eaten by a snake?

"No! don't, don't eat me! I'm sorry! I'm sorry Axel! don't eat me!" I open my eyes to see large birds and dogs coming into the room, the birds go after me and the dogs after the Axel-snake curled around me.

"Axel! Let him go! He's having an episode!" I push the birds beak away from me as I keep screaming. I don't know what I did to deserve this kind of end, but I do agree that I deserve to die, this pain is getting bad, my leg is pulsating with so much pain that I want to cut it off, and the snakes coils are crushing my lungs like their small balloons.

The bird that grabbed me has let me go and I rush to the back corner of the room and duck down behind the old bed that's there, hidden by so many spirals of coloured light and the trees that have sprouted.

I put my hands over my ears and curl into the smallest ball I can, hoping the animals don't find and eat me. I'm rocking back and forth fairly far, but I'm trying to quell the cries and sobs I want, especially since the Axel-snakeis still arguing about eating me.

"You know, that could very well be the real Axel. So what are you so scared about? You know this is only happening because of the drug." I look to the side and see a small version of me, wearing a pair of white skinny jeans, a white v-neck shirt with a clean mouth, clean nails and bright eyes without bags under them. "You know Roxas, it's not hard to look like me. That Axel wont let you die if you go off ND." it sounds convincing but I know that's not true.

"Yeah right! You'll die if you stop! And that Axel, well… you saw it yourself! It's a snake and wants to eat you. Are you going to let that happen?" I turn to the other side, seeing another small me. It's hair is streaked with black, it's wearing black pants and a black v-neck like the other. The bags under this ones eyes are huge, it's mouth is practically dripping with black and it's nails are so bright their light is blending in with the swirls and curls of light around me. "If you top taking ND, all that pain of loosing Axel and killing Ventus will come back. Do you want to feel the guilt, and pain of that happening? Is that something you want to live with every moment for the rest of your life?" I'm-he's right. Why the hell would I want to feel those emotions again? I don't want to feel those emotions again. They are horrid and I cant live with them.

"B-but… I-I don't want to be scared. I don't want to look like you." I glare at the scarier me.

"You already do look like him… or somewhat at least." I turn my head so I'm looking at the clean cut me and I tilt my head, I do look normal, don't I? The other me raises a hand and snaps his fingers together. A mirror pops up and I see that I have bags under my eyes, and that my mouth has turned black. I look sunken, like skin over bones and a small amount of flesh.

"I look horrible." I thought I looked like the white one, no… half way between the two. How does this make sense? I thought I was alright, I thought I was normal. But seeing myself, oh god… this is disgusting.

I open my mouth and look inside, seeing that my tongue is black and the gums around my teeth, my teeth are partially black themselves too. My eyes are bloodshot and as a whole I look disgusting.

"Oh god… I think I'm going to be sick." the pain in my stomach has spread to my right leg and to my head, but I pull myself up and dash out of the room, running out passed the now completely different looking monsters and up the stairs, running passed the front door that looks like a big mouth ready to eat me. I run up the stairs, ignoring all the monsters in the living room, sitting on the rotting bags of garbage and I make the sharp left, run two steps and sharply turn right into the bathroom.

I collapse in front of the toilet and get sick, I wasn't aware I had that much in my stomach, oh… I'm dry-heaving, this is painful. Make it stop, where is my ND- no! No, don't think like that! I don't want any of that anymore… I'm disgusted by it, that's why I ran a floor to vomit when there was a bathroom downstairs.

My body is done dry-heaving now and I slowly stand up. There is muffled talking coming from the monsters in the living room, but I ignore it as I flush the few stinking contents of the toilet and stagger over to the sink, keeping my body up on my throbbing leg and excruciating arm. My head is throbbing so much that I don't want to think, but I cant… I have to get clean. I have to look better, I hate how I look.

I grab any toothbrush and toothpaste with shaky hands and squeeze half the tube into my mouth before shoving the brush in and starting to scrub. I make sure to get my teeth, and my gums, my tongue, cheeks, the roof of my mouth even.

Eyes are drilling into my own, bloodshot and dull blue, accompanied by greasy blonde hair, pale parchment skin, to the point where you can see the veins under the skin. A mouth dripping with black, foam, and blood, a toothbrush hanging from the corner of their mouth as I stare at them and they at me.

I hate that face and I clench a fist before smashing it into the other persons. The face shatters in front of me like glass and the shards go flying around me. I notice now that the person was my reflection and I shiver, not caring that my fist is bleeding horribly as I just grab the toothbrush again and continue working on my teeth.

"Roxas! What happened? Are you- oh shit! What happened?" Axel's back, and he looks the same again. He's in the horrid mouth, filled with teeth, that is the door before rushing in. I feel him take the toothbrush from my mouth and it hurts a bit. "Shit man… Luxord! Go get the car started for me!" he turns his head away from me as he leans over and starts running the tap.

"Why, what's going- shit, what happened?" my eyes lazily travel away from Axel for a moment to see the annoying blonde again, I've always hated looking at him… and I don't really know why.

"I don't know, just go get the fucking car started up!" the loud shout from Axel scares me and I pull away for a moment. Before I stop myself, I can trust him… he's safe, isn't he?

"Roxas, you have to swish this around your mouth then spit it out for me, alright?" Axel's holding up a cup of what looks like water, but there is blue and green swirling in it, it looks like some kind of cocktail drink. I open my mouth a little, feeling whatever is in my mouth cracking slightly out of protest.

The drink tastes horrible whatever it is, and I spit it out right away because it makes my head hurt more. "I'm sorry Roxas, but you have to do this alright? If you don't, your mouth could get infected." he sounds so apologetic… is this hallucination really that worried about me? I can taste copper in my mouth and don't fight it as he raises the glass to my lips again.

I force myself to put up with the pain for a few minutes as I swirl the water around my mouth before Axel says I can spit it out. I bend down slightly and spit the water out, right onto the floor… shit, I thought there was a sink there.

"Oh well, come on Roxas… I have to get you to a dentist… ASAP." he grabs my hand and tries to pull me towards the monster mouth that is the exit for this room.

"I don't want to, I'm scared… the doors going to eat me." he looks at me like I'm crazy for a moment- I knew he always would -before turning around and looking at the door. I see him look at all the teeth with his eyes before he turns back to face me fully and gives me a smile.

"Well then, we'll be eaten together, alright? I promise, I won't let anything hurt you Roxas." if only he knew that I am in pain, if only he knows everything I want to tell him right now. If only he knew that I love him.

"Axel…" I reach up and grab a handful of his bright red hair, loving the feel of it right away I pull him down so our lips are together. This hallucination feels so real, it's not fair. I don't want to be in love with someone that's dead, I don't want to love him but I cant help it.

I pull away from the kiss and give a bit of a smile that hurts my mouth to make. "… I love you. And my ND is in the top drawer of my dresser… I want you to help me, please?" I know tears are streaming down my face, because it feels like waterfalls coming out of my eyes.

Axel just smiles and he leans forward pressing a kiss to my forehead before be tightens his grip on my hand, it's my left hand so it hurts so much, I yelp a little and he loosens his grip a bit.

"I promise Roxas. I'll help you. I'll be your knight in shining armor for as long as you need one." that's bad, I don't want a knight in shining armor, I just was Axel. Nothing special, just one with the right shades of eyes and hair, one that wont mind putting up with me and one that wont mind helping me and hopefully, just maybe, one that will love me, even in a way that isn't romantic would suffice. Just so long as their in my life for a little while.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I've been stuffed into a car, stuffed into a chair, bitten a dentist and had my mouth worked on for some reason I don't understand. All I know is I'd freaked out when that huge beak-faced monster tried to rip it's claws into my mouth.

Axel had turned back into a snake by this point and I had to fight the fear I had of him as he soothed me, telling me it was all going to be alright.

I'm currently sitting somewhere with him now, back to normal, having an ice-cream because my mouth is killing me and that looser dentist monster said it's all I'm allowed.

"Roxas… what were you trying to do in the bathroom?" I look up at him, my throat is pretty frozen and I just wait a moment before taking the ice-cream out of my mouth to answer.

"It was disgusting." it comes out as a mumble and I allow my eyes to wander away from him as a large blue dragon flies behind his head across the sky. I'm not too sure how it's happening, but the dragon is turning into a rainbow and my eyes are glued to it.

"What was disgusting Roxas?" my eyes snap back to him and I stick the ice-cream back into my mouth as I close my eyes. I don't want to see his eyes right now, they are too hard for me to look at right now.

"Me. My-my mouth is disgusting. I-I never knew until I told myself. And-and I-I don't want to look like that anymore." I replace my ice-cream and curl my legs up to my chest, hiding in the small hallucinations that are in this small space between my knees and face.

"Roxas, I told you, I'll help you. I promise." I look up in time to see him reaching for my chin. "I wont let this kill you."

"B-but there are so many dangers. S-so many things want to eat me." my ice-cream falls from my hand onto the ground and I can see out of the corner of my eye that it's exploding into sparks and swirls of blue color. Axel runs his thumb over my slightly sticky lips and I look back at him in time to realize that he's about to give me a kiss.

My eyes go wide and I push my hands against his chest, pushing him back to arms length. "No! You cant." I don't want him to kiss me if I look like this, I'm disgusting and I don't want to have him around me that close. I don't want him to kiss me while I look like this.

"Roxas?"

"I-I don't want you kissing me right now. Y-your nothing more then a hallucination, I shouldn't have feelings for you." I feel so worthless knowing that he's not really hear. "Hey, I have a question what's your-" I want to finish the question but that same searing pain comes back to my mouth and I clap my hand over my lips.

"Here, finish mine." Axel hands his sea-salt ice-cream over and don't want to refuse because I know it'll help my mouth so I accept it. "And if you were going to ask me what my name is- like I think you were - it really is Axel. I promise." I let out a sigh, I was afraid he'd say that.

I nod my head and run a hand through my hair. "I want you to help me. I'll only know for sure if I'm off ND. I've, tried before… but I can never take the pain and start up again. I need you to help me Axel, I don't want to die, but I want to know if what you're saying is real." Axel nods his head and I take another lick of his ice-cream as I reach down and grab his hand so I can try and discover what my mind is trying to tell me and what's reality.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The pain in my stomach is so bad right now, I don't want to eat, I don't even want to be breathing right now. It feels like I've been stabbed, and the monsters are back. I've been off of ND for close to half a year now, and it's been hectic. Axel isn't here a lot of the time because of that blue monster that tried to eat me.

Sora and Riku have been the ones who are there to fight the monsters away when it gets too bad, it's them who'll tie me to my bed so I don't run out and get more ND. I know my Axel hallucination isn't doing it because subconsciously it's impossible for me to hate him, and when I'm to the point where I need to be tied up- like I am right now -I scream anything at everything.

My entire body feels like it's burning right now with pain, I cant help it… it's been this way for months. How many times have I come close to starving myself again? How many times has Axel walked through my bedroom door, removed the ties and just held me? How many times am I going to once again beg for Nightmare Delirium? And how many more times am I going to try and kill myself?

Luxord came up with the Idea of tying me up after the first attempt, Axel comes in and watches TV with me every now and then, but I don't know what time it is, or what day. He came on one day and said it was my birthday, he brought cake and we shared the piece. I tried to count the days after that, tried to figure out just when his birthday was, but I couldn't and it must have passed by now.

"Sora! Sora…" I'm whining but I don't think they mind anymore. It still pisses Luxord and Riku off to no end, but Sora doesn't seem to mind much. My bedroom door opens and Sora walks in with a tray, he always brings it: a washcloth for my forehead, water for me to drink, a bit of food I always refuse and a herbal blend of something that he rubs on my temples to help with the headaches. "I want Axel… please. Get me Axel." I grab the sleeve of his shirt and he just lets out a bit of a sigh, why is this usually his response to my question?

"Axel isn't here right now, he's out with Leon and the others. Their plan is getting closer though, he's almost-"

"I don't care about Saïx! I want Axel! Please, get me Axel! I-I cant take it!" my throat and eyes start stinging- they weren't before? Sora lets out a sigh and applies the washcloth to my forehead. It's so fucking lonely here, even when Sora comes in to spend the day with me, just watching TV and having small, meaningless conversations, it's so lonely because he isn't here.

"I know Roxas, but he called earlier, you were sleeping and Yuffie didn't want to wake you, but he'll be home tomorrow again. I'm sure he'll come right up to see you, alright? Do you want me to have Lumier or Cerberus come up to be with you?"

"No, where's Oogie Boogie?" the wonderful Golden retriever puppy that Axel brought back from one of his absences around my birthday. The puppy doesn't like being in the room with me whenever I go through an episode of hallucinations, but he'll always hang around if I just want to cuddle and watch some TV. He'll usually stay until I fall asleep then go back and hang out with Lumier and Cerberus again.

"Alright, I'll go get him and bring him back." I give Sora a smile as he gets up and leaves the room, the tray on the nightstand and the damp facecloth on my head still.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Hey Roxas… I see Oogie Boogie stayed with you overnight. That's good to hear, care to wake up now? Sora said you wanted me again last night." this feels nice, I'm awake and my head doesn't hurt. I think Oogie Boogie is against my chest, something small, fuzzy and warm is for sure. This feels so nice.

"You're looking a lot better now, how're you feeling?" I don't want to answer because I'm so relaxed right now, maybe if I just fake being asleep he wont figure it out and curl up beside me again… I like it when he does that. "Common, I know you're awake, I can see the smile Roxas." I feel him touching my cheek and I cant help but smile before opening my eyes a little. My arms and legs are untied, this is good. It only happens when he's around and not leaving me.

"Wanna sleep? I'm tired." no matter how his face looks there is always a smile in his eyes when he's around me, and usually on his face too. I'm happy that I've gotten this far in the detox that I know he's not a fake- wait, isn't he?

I watch as he pulls his shirt off, it's a little grimy looking, and I can see writing on his arm that I've never seen before- though I cant read what it says at the moment. He lifts the blankets and curls in behind me, pulling my body back to his and I feel a kiss pressed to the side of my neck before he reaches over me and grabs the TV remote. He flicks it on and my favorite movie starts playing: Peter Pan.

I wait for Axel to fall asleep before slowly sitting up, he's always really tired when he comes to my room, I'm not sure if he's home any other time, but whenever he comes in and sees me he's so tired he barely wakes up, no matter what I do to him. I've kissed him a few times, held him on more then one occasion, I've even cried and apologized for putting him through all of this, but he's never woken up, or never acted like it.

Once I sit up I grab his left arm and stretch it out as he rolls onto his back, still asleep like a log. My eyes travel the pale skin and I catch the words right away. The script isn't too fancy and the words are easy to read: I'm a lost Cause, Not a Hero. And well… I disagree completely.

I hate the tattoo, Axel shouldn't have something like that. Of course he's a hero, and this is my breaking point, I would never give Axel something like that, I would never picture Axel with such horrid words.

God, he's real… he's been real this whole time. Why-why didn't I see it before? He told me enough times- everyone did. But he was dead, I saw that too… he was on that table and-and he looked nothing like himself. My Axel was gone, just like Ventus. They weren't supposed to come back!

I take a deep breath and let it out before doing it again, the tears running down my face are fading- though only a tear or two fell to begin with. But I really don't like that tattoo… I have to get rid of it somehow.

My eyes scan the room and I'm just about to give up when I see something that'll get the job done, and Axel sleeps like the dead, so he shouldn't wake up to notice.

**AN:**

**Me: wow… that was kinda hard, it's hard to describe stuff like this happening. I hope it was alright.**

**Axel: you used Roxies point of view! I'm ashamed of you! You said you wouldn't!**

**Me: yeah well, the way I was describing the drug was just making him sound insane. I had to see the world through his eyes for a little while. But you should be thanking me, he knows your not a hallucination now.**

**Axel: if it wasn't for that I'd be-**

**Roxas: thank you for putting me back into the fic Elizabeth. Axel is really grateful too.**

**Me: don't worry about it, it's hard for me to make a sad fic… I'm not good with the whole 'playing on peoples emotions' thing.**

**Gaara: thank you for reading this chapter and we hope you've liked it enough to read. Have a good one & don't forget to look out for Polar bears while crossing streets.**


	21. Chapter 20 The End

**Take the Fight out of the Kid**

**Chapter Twenty**

'_**Was I deceiv'd, or did a sable cloud; Turn forth her silver lining on the night?'**_**- John Milton**

It feels warm here, it always does when I come home and sleep with Roxas. He's looking so much better now, really. His eyes have cleared up and he doesn't have bags under them anymore, his nails are completely back to normal- he hasn't painted them because I asked him not to so I could check their progress. Roxas' mouth has also cleared up completely, it's nice seeing him like this, he's been this way for a long time now, but the last time I was here about a month ago he had another episode. From what Luxord is saying though, it only happens when I'm not here, and they are always about getting me.

I move my left arm slowly and gently run my fingers through his hair a little, feeling that the soft locks are slightly oily, he needs another shower. It's horrible how we have to keep him locked up in his room, but it's for his own good. He tried to kill himself, and there is no way we cant spare anyone to chase him around all day and make sure he doesn't do it.

"I'm sorry Roxas, but I have to head out again soon. Are you awake?" I know he is, he's not breathing regularly and his eyes are moving too much under the lids for him to be asleep.

"I don't want you to go. You just got here Axel." it's so fucking bittersweet, I love him with all my heart, but I don't think he knows it yet. I've still yet to hear him tell me if he thinks I'm real or not.

"I know, but we have to get up. You need a shower and I could probably use one too. We're getting closer to Saïx, to the point where we're so close, I'm sure we'll have him by the end of the week." Roxas hates it when anyone else talks about it apparently. He flips out on them and screams at them to shut up, that he doesn't care unless it's about me, everything just seems calmer with him when I'm here according to others.

"Can I have the first shower? W-would you mind?"

"Of course not. Can I watch some TV in here while your gone? I really don't feel like being in the living room." my house has basically turned into the Irish version of the Russian palace, Yuffie's promised that once Saïx is dead, that the place will clear out and it'll be mine again. But when I come home, I really want to just kick back and relax with Roxas and who I consider my immediate family. My living room is always filled with people though, the old playroom has been half converted into a guest room with a tarp protecting the storage from whoever sleeps there, my parents room is for Leon and Yuffie since their siblings apparently. The house is just filled with people and I don't really like it, I've always been isolated.

"Go right ahead. I'll be back in a few minutes then." Roxas sits up and leans down to give me a chaste kiss on the lips, nothing really new. It's always safe though, always testing, as if to see if I've vanished with the fact that he's coming off the drug. Maybe he thinks he's still addicted as long as he can still feel me.

I always want the kisses to last longer, I don't know how much more I can flirt, how much more skin I can show and how much more I can do without freaking jumping on him. I want him, in the way I've only had him once. That night is permanently engraved on my memory as a horrible experience, I was practically crying and he had no idea, he still might not have an idea.

I sit up on his bed and start flipping through channels, Oogie Boogie is on the bed beside me, just laying around since Roxas isn't bugging him and the bed is so comfortable.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Alright Axel, I'm out." I look up from the annoying commercial as he walks into the room and I give him a smile. "There should still be plenty hot water." it really didn't take him that long, and the smile he's giving me in so sincere I almost cant stand it. Maybe he's just given into his own delusion and is deciding that with or without Nightmare Delirium that he'll hallucinate about me, god I hope not.

"Kay, thanks Roxie." he stands in the corner of his room close to the closet in his towel, waiting for me to leave before getting dressed I suppose. I get up and grab my shirt off the floor where I tossed it last night and pass Roxas with a kiss to the top of his head before I walk out of the room and down the hall slightly to the bathroom.

Everyone is in the living room and I give those who see me a wave and smile before turning into the bathroom. I open the cupboard and pull one of the black towels off of the shelf that Roxas and I have claimed as our own for his sky blue towels and my black ones. I hang the towel and turn towards the mirror to see if I need to wash my face or not when I see it.

My eyes go wide as I first catch the red on my left forearm, overtop and beside my tattoo. I hold my hand out so I can read the tattoo and my eyes go wide as I look at it, seeing right away that it's been changed with red paint.

The first change that was made is in the first part of the phrase where it said: 'I'm a lost Cause' there was a 'not' put in place between 'I'm' and 'a', making it 'I'm not a lost Cause'. and in the second half 'Not' was crossed out and 'I'm a' was put in it's place, making it 'I'm a Hero'.

I lower my eyes from my arm to the mirror where I see more red pain on the left side of my chest, just over my heart. 'Axel, I'm sorry I doubted you. I love you.' the words are encircled with a heart and I think I'm going to cry. He knows, he knows I'm really me. Roxas knows I'm not a hallucination, this might be it… is he no longer under the influence? I know he hasn't been in pain for a long time, god, he knows.

I catch a movement by the door through the mirror and I turn to the side, seeing Roxas leaning against the bathroom doorframe, his towel still around his waist, his arms crossed over his chest and a smile on his face that is so bright that I don't think I'll ever doubt his love again. "R-Roxas… you-"

"Yeah. It ugh, finally sunk in last night. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out. Forgive me?" I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him, lifting him off the ground slightly and pushing him against the wall across from the bathroom door for extra support. I push my face into his neck and press a kiss there.

"Oh god Roxas… I'm so happy. There is nothing to forgive. You know I'm real. Thank you. Thank you so much."

"I'm sorry Axel. I should have figured it out sooner. I'm so stupi-" I don't let him finish the word as I press a kiss to his lips, I don't want to hear that kind of talk coming out of him.

I break the kiss and put my face back in the crook of his neck. "God Roxas… I'm just so happy your back. I love you so much." I'm crying I'm so happy, god… I shouldn't be crying, but I cant help it. I don't know what emotions these are that are going through my body right now.

Roxas reaches his arms around my head and he's hugging me back now, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do, I don't want to let him go again, now that he's here and he's mine again… I don't ever want to let him go for a second.

Roxas lets out a moan and it's not until now that I realize that I've been sucking and nipping at his neck. I feel his hips gyrate into my stomach and let out a groan of my own when I remember that he's only in his towel.

"Get a room ya love-birds!" I slowly pull my face away from Roxas's neck and glare into the living room, seeing right away that it was Cid who yelled it, though everyone else is laughing at the comment. I allow my eyes to travel up to Roxas' and I can see it in his eyes that he wants what I do, so why not oblige Cid's request… by taking every room in the house for Roxas to choose? It's all mine after all.

I turn back to the living room with my smirk in place, Roxas still held up to the wall by my hips as I take a breath to speak. "Alright then everyone. I'm not too sure which room we're going to take though, so since this is my house, you should all probably leave for a while. I'd say tomorrow would be the best time to come back." their faces drop and my smirk just grows wider. I want to know if they think it's a bluff or not, I dare them to think it's a bluff and stay, because the only room I'm not going to let us go into is my parents and the storage room with my families old couches.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The house cleared out pretty quickly when I made Roxas moan again, and then we continued on into the bathroom and several other rooms in the house that Roxas insist I clean the sheets of- something I wanted to wait until after the sex-high went away, but of course not, he has to go and give me puppy-dog eyes while saying 'But Axel… if you don't do it now you'll fall asleep and they'll come back to a mess.' he was too fucking cute that I didn't have the heart to tell him that falling asleep was part of the point to five rounds. So I'd basically been sweet-talked into cleaning every sheet in the house.

Now I'm just kinda laying with Roxas, back in his bed and enjoying the Peter Pan movie for the millionth time. He's so warm right now that I'm pretty sure I could fall asleep right now if it wasn't for the loud bang of the front door being burst open and Cid starting to shout through the house that they were all back.

Roxas mumbles and curls into a smaller ball, trying to hide his face further into my chest.

I grind my teeth and curl Roxas up in the blanket as I get up and grab my jeans, pulling them on and stomping out to the top of the stairs.

"Will the lot of you shut the fuck up! I'm kinda trying to sleep after being forced into doing laundry and sleep is pretty fucking high on my list of things to do. So if any of you want to keep yelling please, go right back out that fucking door or I'll shut your traps for you." eyes are wide and I just smile in the bliss of the silence once again before heading back into Roxas' room so I can go back to sleep.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Three days and Roxas has barely left my side, god it feels so good. We've gone out and plotted the plan against Saïx, we've gotten groceries, we've just been out. And now we're in my car on our way. We've just gotten back from setting up several traps that will catch Saïx the moment he tries to chase either me or Roxas into the forest.

The plan is for him to chase me, but Roxas knows the path just to be safe. Cloud, Leon, Sephiroth, and Yuffie are waiting along the path with guns in case he misses the traps. Arieth is standing by with medical attention for us. I've got both my guns prepared in easy locations to grab them, and both Roxas and I have our running shoes on as we drive towards the house where we know Saïx is.

Sora, Riku, Luxord and a few of Yuffie's runners are waiting in a meadow with a whole artillery of weapons to use against Saïx if it gets that far- though I doubt he will. I take another deep breath, I don't want Roxas to be in the plan, I don't want him to be a target- but he's refused it. I want him to be in the meadow with Sora, Riku and Luxord, but he's kicked down every attempt I've made to have him there.

"Roxas… I know you don't want to hear it again, but will you please listen to me and get out of the car now? I don't want there to be a possibility of you being in danger." my eyes are stuck on him and all I get out of it is a smile and a shake of his head.

"Axel, I want to be with you."

"I don't want you to be with me, not now. This is too dangerous and I don't trust myself to take the shot if there is a possibility of hitting you."

"Well, if I were you, I'd take the shot. Because if you don't take the shot on him anyways, you wont have me."

"Your kidding me, right? I'm not going to shoot at him if your remotely close to the bastard Roxas! This isn't even your fight! This is me versus Saïx! It has nothing to do with you!"

"It has everything to do with me Axel! Because if you don't come back then neither do I!" that's not true, he lived without me before. It was horrible and I have no doubt that he'd try and slip back into that, but can I really let that happen? Of course not, that's why I have to come back.

"Roxas, have I ever broken a promise to you?"

"No, not that I remember but-"

"No buts Roxas. I'll come back, I promise. With all my heart I promise I'll come back to you. It wont be in a body bag, it wont be dead. I'll come back to you, living, breathing, and ready to give you a kiss. Just please, please don't scare me to death by coming."

He opens his mouth to protest but he lets it out in a sigh of defeat and nods his head. "Fine, I'll go to the meadow. I'll wait for you there." I nod my head and pull my car over to let him out at the side of the road.

"You know where it is, right?" he nods his head and opens his door. I pull out one of my guns and set it in his palm. "If you need to shoot, try not to miss, alright?" Roxas nods his head and leans further into the car and presses a kiss to my lips that I return with fever. I don't want to let him go but it's safer this way, for him to be with others that aren't planning on being chased through a forest that he's only seen through Nightmare hazed eyes.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Cloud and Leon are in their positions and it's just me and Cid driving up to Saïx's place in our cars, filled with a few kids from around town that wanted to hold guns and promised they wouldn't shoot us. It was enough for Yuffie to trust them apparently. My nerves are on end and this is the last deciding moment really. I'm going to burst through the main floor and I'm going to start shooting as soon as the car stops.

Cid honks his car horn twice and I hit the gas so I can break through the wall and into the main room of the house. The guys that are in my car shout a bit and I just roll my eyes as the caged bumper of my car breaks through the thick wall of the house I'd ran passed many times as a child to get into the forest so I could get to my meadow.

Gunfire meets us and I pull my one remaining gun out, shooting out the window at one man who's running forward dressed completely in black. My eyes scan the room for Saïx, looking as hard as I can for blue hair and seeing none is pissing me off already.

I kick my door open as Cid bursts his car through the wall beside mine and takes my door off in the process. I crawl out of my seat and over the hood of Cids car, shooting at a few people who're raising guns to me. It pains me that I'm killing people, but it's kill or be killed right now and I can think of- blue hair! Shit, he's going out he back!

My feet take off and I rush forward, ignoring all the yells and the sounds of gunshots as I rush after Saïx. My feet are pounding against the ground as hard and as fast as I can make them. He's running through the woods but he's not going in the right direction- fuck! He's supposed to be chasing me, not me chasing him! What the hell is wrong with this! Why is he running?

Leaves are cutting against my face and I'm about ready to jump over a fallen tree when I notice where he's going; he's going to _MY_ meadow, _Lilly's _meadow… a place his filthy eyes should have never set sight upon!

I'm running faster then I thought I could now, as fast as I did when I heard Roxas scream in the meadow because he was being carried away by Saïx, faster then I've ever run with Lumier and Cerberus on my heels for their workout. Saïx cant get there, I cant let him step foot onto that soil.

This is my last moment, I can feel that this is a bad moment, something is horribly wrong and I have that feeling that Roxas is in trouble again. It's nagging in the back of my mind, it has been since he got in the car with me this morning, but it's coming closer to the forefront of my mind now and I feel like he's about ready to slip out of my grasp, those moments when I thought it was going to happen.

There were those moments when I thought that I was going to loose him completely, and in those moments this is the feeling I felt before hopping on the first plane or train home.

Saïx isn't too far away from me, I can still see him clearly, but as I'm running I'm starting to feel tears running down my cheeks as we get closer and closer to the meadow. I don't know why this is so hard, I should just pull my gun out, shoot and kill him. But I cant, if I stop I'll loose sight of him, and if I shoot I could very possibly miss because my arms are shaking.

"Saïx! Get back here and face me you coward!" we're getting closer to the meadow and I stoop down and grab a rock as I run, chucking it at him, hard enough to hit his shoulder.

Saïx stops and I decide to yell some more since it might work. "Common! That's what you want, isn't it? To finally break me! Well here's your chance you coward! There is no chance of you loosing me in these woods, on this island, and you know it! So common, finish it!" he turns towards me slowly and he has the most sadistic smirk on his face, one that makes me want to once again shutter in fear.

"Axel… why do you think I want you dead? Why is it, that I've wanted you broken for so many years and never really took into account to finish it? Why haven't I ever finished you off?"

"Because I was broken and you know it! I've always been broken and you've taken pleasure of my struggle! As long as I'm struggling, you have something to cling to!" I'm right, I know I am.

"You're wrong Axel, I don't take pleasure out of watching you struggle, I take pleasure out of watching you fight. Never once, have you not fought against me. And I'm finally just so fucking tired of it."

"Go ahead Saïx, shoot me. I fucking dare you! Should I tell you how I did it… how I killed your precious Xemnas? Should I tell you every grimy detail of how I wrapped my hands around his neck, and squeezed the air out of-" a shot goes off and it misses my head by a foot, hitting a tree. Saïx's hand is shaking so much, he'd probably been aiming for right between my eyes. "-his body? How I watched the lights leave his eyes and I watched _HIM_ break? It was hilarious really, the bastard cried. Asking me not to kill him. And where were you? Downstairs entertaining guests when he was calling for you, calling with the voice-box that I was crushing beyond repair. How does it feel Saïx, to have everything taken-" I'm cut off again by another gunshot and I grip my gun slightly tighter as I keep going "-away from you? Because it's not pleasurable for me to watch like it was for you. I hated the idea I killed people, I hated it until him. Once I got my hands around his throat… it was like my life was finally opening up and I was free."

"I'm going to kill you!" Saïx throws his gun to the side and he rushes at me, I'm not suspecting it and just raise my gun slightly as we collide. He's scratching at me and I feel his nails digging into the same places that Xemnas' nails dug into that night, re-opening the scars that have been closed for so long. This is perfect, fighting him like I did Xemnas.

He doesn't deserve to die like my friends, they all killed themselves because they couldn't take it, or they were trying to protect the one they loved, of because they missed their love so much that they couldn't take it.

Xion, Zexion, Demyx… to anyone else who Saïx and Xemnas killed by ripping them apart inside; this is for you. I roll again a few times and we're just in the mouth of the meadow now, but Saïx is on top of me, and I'm having a hard time keeping his nails from my eyes and pointing my gun at him at the same time.

There is no help here, I know that. No one is going to shoot him off of me out of a tree, this is how it's always been meant to end, a final showdown between the two of us. He is the last one I want to kill, once he's dead, I'll never have to do it again. I can go back to being Axel… I can find Lea again… I can search these woods for myself to my hearts content until I find that part in me that I've lost and haven't gotten back.

"How dare you speak of the superior like that! He saved you!"

"He killed my soul! He deserved what he got and so do you!" Saïx snarls and for a moment I don't think he's going to bite me, but the next instant stops that thought as he lowers his head and changes the hold on the gun so it's in his hand.

"He should have killed your body too, because it's the problem!"

"Try you bastard! I'll never give up life!" he snarls a bit more and I grab his wrist with the gun, pushing it upwards so it'll be a much harder angle for him to shoot me at.

My heart is beating so rapidly as I know I'm loosing, he's stronger then me, and he's using leverage I don't have to buckle my arm so he'll be able to shoot me. It's over, the gun's almost at an angle that'll kill me instantly with a headshot, and knowing Saïx he'll shoot me more then once to make sure the job is done right- waiting until I bleed out as a final measure.

Maybe this is right, dying in the same place that I've buried my sister, in the same forest that has been my saving grace in dreams and memories, the place that I saw Lilly in that dream, that wonderful dream where I got to talk with her. Who knows, maybe I'll-

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

**BANG! **

The sound reverberates through the forest a hundred times over for all those who can hear it. Lea's eyes are wide, Saïx with a smirk on his face as blood starts to pool around the crumpled teen on the ground under him, mixing with his flaming red hair and soaking into his clothes.

Lea is completely shocked, is-is he alive? I-I don't know that for sure, but the blood isn't his- I don't think so at least. He can still breathe, and that's good enough, he was still blinking too- bonus!

"Wh-what j-just-"

"Axel! Are you alright?" Lea looks over to the side into the meadow, seeing Roxas in the top of the tree, both hands wrapped around the gun and it pointing to the ground with just a bit of smoke curling out the end of the barrel. With wide, shocked green eyes Lea turns forward again, looking up at the man who is above him, face still smirking as Lea fights to think of who's blood it is.

"Well Axel… it looks like I've finally lost this game. I never thought… it'd be Roxas who was the winner though. Heh, I guess I shouldn't judge an addicted, grimy book by it's cover." Lea glares a little and pushes Saïx off of him, feeling that there is no pain whatsoever as the shot through Saïx's heart makes him slowly bleed out into his own body.

"Axel! Are you alright?"

"Ugh… yeah! I'm fine!" Lea is shocked really, he's in shock actually, Roxas had just shot Saïx, off of him. That could have been such a close call, and the blondes hands are still shaking. I watch as Lea rolls to the side and gets up slowly, his muscles protesting slightly because of the open wounds on his back filled with dirt and mud. "Are you going to come down from there?" Lea looks up the tree at Roxas and notices right away that the blonde has switched positions so he is hugging the trunk.

"I-I cant! I'm stuck Axel." with a sigh and running his hands through his hair Lea tested his back by rolling his shoulders, it is excruciating and he stops right away.

He couldn't make it, and knew it. But he grabs onto the lowest branch and starts pulling himself up the tree anyhow, working his way towards the blonde boy as quick as he can. "I'm really sorry about this Axel. It's just that, well… I've never been here before."

"You're a twit Roxas… this is where you first found me here in Ireland. This is my meadow." Lea finishes pulling himself up onto the same branch as Roxas and I let out a bit of a sigh, glad to see that they're both smiling at each other.

"What are you talking about? You cant possibly think that I'd meet you in-"

"My meadow? I know, it shocked the hell outta me too. Imagine just how fucking freaked I was. At the base of the tree paying my respects to my sister when you all of a sudden yelled out '_Hey! What're you doing here? I should tear you limb from bloody limb you tosser! How dare you be in my secret meadow and in front of _my_ tree_.' god, it was so fucking cute and scary at the same time Roxie." Roxas gives Lea a smile and I cant help but smile at the same time the red head does. It's been so long since I've seen him happy like this, it's the first time I've seen him even remotely joyed.

I watch as Lea starts to talk Roxas out of my tree, both laughing and smiling, Lea helping Roxas place his feet when he needs it. All the fear that was in me a few moments ago for Lea's life is gone and I cant help but smile a bit more as they finally get to the base of the tree and Lea pulls Roxas back a few feet and points at it.

"This, is my little sisters tree now. She's been here for a while. When you caught me here, I was giving her a flower… now that I think about it- I haven't done that in a long time, too long." Lea walks over to the patch of lilies and plucks one from the ground before putting it directly over the spot he knows the body is.

"How did she die, Axel?" I can tell that Roxas is just curious about the facts, he wants to know if this is why Lea is only happy around him, if this is why Lea was scared for him to not have everything he needed in life. If this is why Lea sold himself for Roxas. Lea's face changes drastically and I let out a bit of a sigh as I watch, he's going to tell the story, but maybe he'll tell it all to Roxas, maybe he wont have to be tormented by it anymore and he can give it all up and just relax with the fact that he couldn't change anything.

I wait and listen until the tale is over, laying myself out on the grass, on my back, looking up at the bright skies and seeing shapes in clouds.

"About a month later I burned the guy's house to a crisp."

"What? Why'd you-"

"His family was still inside. I-I feel horrible about it, but I need to just accept the fact that I'm a killer I guess. Even at that age, before I met you I'd killed people. After you I'd killed people. I'm nothing but a monster Roxas. I hurt everything in my path and I cant-"

"No! you're not a monster! You're Axel, you're the guy that I've waited years for! And I'm not letting you go into some kind of stupid… THING, because you think you're bad. You're not. You saved me. And you made this wonderful burial sight for your sister! How can you think you're bad Axel?" Roxas is right, one hundred percent right, god I wish I could tell him. It's be so nice if I could.

"Roxas, I didn't save her, I haven't saved anyone. And I've been lying to you the whole time we've known each other. How can you trust me."

"How have you been lying to me?"

"My real name isn't Axel… it's Lea, I never liked it… and if you till want to talk to me, then I prefer you use Axel… I just I just though… someone needed to know. But I haven't saved anyone, and you cant trust me."

"Really, you've been using a fake name? and as for not saving anyone; what about Sora? And Riku, Luxord too! And what about me? You've saved me the most Axel. I don't care what you say; I wont believe it! You are the one person that I _NEED_ to live on this earth. And your not leaving me again."

"How would you intend to stop me then?" Lea gives a playful smirk and Roxas returns it before getting up on his knees beside Lea's sitting form and the blonde presses a kiss to Lea's lips.

"By _any_ means necessary… understand, _Lea_?" Lea returns the statement with a coy smirk and remark of his own.

"Well… my definition of that might be a little muffed, you'll have to remind me." they share a more passionate kiss and I let out a sigh as I open my eyes, I'm on a branch in the tree now, my favorite spot, Lea's favorite spot, even Roxas' favorite spot. And I think I know why: it's so comfortable that it's hard to think of anything but nature when right here.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

It's been a few years now, and it's all turning out alright- I don't think it can be better. My meadow is still a great place that Roxas and Lea visit secretly, but recently they've been bringing along a pretty little strawberry blonde girl named Kimberly Lilly O'Riley. A young girl they adopted when she was just a baby so her older brother didn't have to be killed- because the rule was changed to each couple could have one child, thank god (but even that rule is being fought by everyone in Ireland- I don't think it'll last long)! She stills sees her family a lot, but not as much as she should. Her parents don't really mind though because Lea and Roxas saved her life.

She's been with them for about five years now, and that's how old she is, the cutest thing really. Lea hasn't forgotten about setting flowers down whenever he comes here, but I don't think he'll have to for much longer. I'm happy seeing his life from here, he's done good. The number of people he's killed is twenty- even, and most of that was for self protection.

Sora and Riku have apparently adopted a child of their own, I don't know his name though… I think it has something to do with a Demyx- whatever that is -and a key, don't ask me why, I've decided to never understand the male brain- no matter how much time I'll have to study it.

Luxord has even decided to take in a young boy- not baby young like the others, he's taken in a fifteen year old who ran away from home and was trying to break into his house- now separate from Lea and Roxas -and he's given the boy a second chance.

It hurts looking down on the world, seeing it without me. I would have liked to be there for Lea more, to help him through a little of what he's been through and actually be there instead of just beyond his reach.

It's hard, watching my brother grow up, watching my brother change over time and do things that I'll never have the ability to try. I've taken ectoplasm steps and I've grown up through my mind alone. I've changed my own appearance many times, I've met Lea in his dreams on particularly strong nights for me and weak nights for him. But since Roxas has come along, there are fewer and fewer of those nights.

I think it's finally time. I'm scared to go, to no longer watch my brothers story as it unfolds. I'm scared of what might be on the other side, I don't even know if there is another side. I've read books over peoples shoulders, I've watched movies and TV's from people's houses. But I've never been more scared than I am now. That little place at the base of the tree where my body was placed- the spot that hasn't once been touched with anything but a flower in so many years - is glowing and I'm scared to descend.

Can Lea see it? Is that why he's looking over this way? As I push myself off the branch and start to float towards myself. He's looking at me, well it looks like he is. His smile drops a bit and I catch a tear coming from those bright green eyes that I've followed and searched for.

The fear ebbs away at the last moment when only my head is still above ground and I see Lea press a kiss to his fingers and he blows a kiss in the tree's direction. This is something he's never done before and I cant help but smile, as long as he knows I've found peace, his story can continue on without me- it always has. I was just a burden, but being free… it's something we've both needed for a long time. And I can finally give it to him because… I'm no longer scared.

**AN:**

**Me: hello everyone! Thank you so much for putting up with and actually reading 20 whole chapters!**

**Axel: that was a really sad way to end it… holly shit, I think I'm almost crying. How could you do that to me? She was my sister, and now-**

**Roxas: breathe Axel… breathe. In and out.**

**Me: sorry… I thought it was sweet though, if readers really hate it though I'll re-write the last bit of that ( I probably wont, but I'll give the option anyhow, just to me nice and all that jazzy stuff)**

**Sora: wow… you gave me and Riku a kid! Yay!**

**Me: yes, and there was no Mpreg, I have nothing against that exactly… but I've been scared about writing about pregnancy in general, so I think doing a pregnant male might kill my mind ^^**

**Axel: I actually really like it… it's just the ending that killed me. It ripped me apart Elizabeth, how could you?**

**Me: sorry… but the good news it: it's taken me exactly two months, one hour and fifteen minutes to finish this fiction! XD (I'm really happy about that)**

**Gaara: we all hope you've enjoyed and that you like it. Please review and Elizabeth and the cast will give you invisible cookies of Magic and love. God… I hate my lines, that's it, I'm finding a new boss… I Quit Elizabeth.**

**Me: you cant, I own you… and I'm cosplaying you, so you have to give me some credit XP hope you all enjoyed! Thank you again for reading, and hitting that pretty review button would be much appreciated!**


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